Mukadzi anga arimu court achibvunzwa kuti atsanangure munhu anga amubata chibharo sezvo ma suspects ese aivemo airamba. Mukadzi ndokuti 'munhu wacho anga arimupfupi, anemhanza, anonhuwa...........' Achiripakati pekutsanangura pakabva panzwika izwi richiti.."pfutseke handinhuwe ini"

Wife waking up at halftime, Brazil yakabaiwa ne Germany 5:0,

Wife: aarghhh, asi nhasi vatanga nema pena?

Husband: iwe, rara uko!!

Nhai ichokwadi here kuti doro re 7days rakunzi Brazil?

Chinoz and Madam vake vakagara zvavo mu-lounge
after dinner...
Madam (to Chinoz): Unogona ku-swimmer?
Chinoz: Aiwa
Madam: Saka unokundwa nembwa? Ha ha ha kikik
kikikiki (kuseka) Chinoz keeps quiet. Then a few moments later...
Chinoz: Ko iwe unogona ku-swimmer?
Madam: Yes of-course!
Chinoz: Saka hauna kumbosiyana nembwa

Message kubva kumusha:

"wakaita hako nemosquito net ikozvino haticharumwi asi tanzwa nekurumwa neinda hameno kuti haugoni kutitumirawo indanet here........."

MaCde toisa macolour api pa flag?
Vakuru vakuru: Red for the blood shed during the war.
Vice wavo: White for peace, green for vegetation &yellow for minerals.
Chinoz: Ko ngatiisei chek chek, tine hama dzakachekwa chekwa muhondo ka!!!

Win a trip to Chikurubi Maximum Prison and stay there for as long as you want,just sms,"I sell mbanje" to 112 and stand a chance to win free clothes,free meals,free accommodation!!!!!
Sponsored by ZPS.

Goshy akabatwa neBabylon (mapurisa) etraffic achityaira Peugout 404 yake. Akabvunzwa chitambi zvikanzi hapana. Ridza hooter hapana, indicators hapana, handbrake hapana, mutero hapana. Zvikanzi mhosva dzako dzawandisa takuregerera enda hako. Kwakuramba akamira zvikanzi naofficer ko uchiri wakamirirei ipapo? Goshy akapindura nekanzwi kairatidza kuzvininipisa zvikanzi, "ndinokumbirawo push"

Teacher: give me the names of Sirs you know

John: Sir Winston Churchill
Peter: Sir Alex Ferguson
Tracy: Sir Allan Wilson
Chinoz : Sir Unononga (Seunononga)!

Professor vachitukana nemukadzi wavo;
Prof: hauna kufunda ndosaka wakapusa nekuzungaira. 
Wife: akazungaira nekupusa ini newe ndiani,ndiri nani ndakaroorwa naprofessor, ko iwe wakaroora mukadzi asina kana grade 7.