Ndiri kubva kunotora report book renyu rezvidzidzo, haa harina kumbomira zvakanaka:

  • Maths 15%
  • Accounts 9%
  • Facebook 98%
  • English 15%
  • Biology 27% 
  • Makuhwa 100%   
  • Kunyeya 82%
  • Whatsapp 99%
  • Kunamata 1%
hanzi nateacher wenyu sungayi dzisimbe pachidzidzo chekupedzisira.
Dear Aunyt Rhoda:
Ndirikuda kuonda asi zvirikuramba. Ndaedza kudya maHealthy Foods, nekujogger asi zvirikuramba. Please help.                                                            

Reply from Aunt:
Tora phone yemurume wako uende kuwhatsapp messages. Unoswera waonda!
Advantages enhamo dzedu muZIM:
Umwe mukadzi akabata murume wake aine small house. Akatsamwa akaenda kumba kumba ndokusvikogadzika poto yake yemafuta pastove afunga zvekudira murume mafuta anopisa. Akagara hake achimirira murume kuti auye mafuta achisanopisa. Murume achingopinda mukadzi akabva angoti poto iya bidzu ndokudira murume wake. Murume akashaya kuti ko mukadzi akuita sei. Mukadzi ndipo paakazoona kuti kwanga kusina magetsi....
WASU ACHINAMATA:

Mwari imwimwi diko mune favour.
Ingawani Abraham musharukwa hake akakumbira mupwere imwimwi mukamupa.
Uyuwo onini Jonah wakaitwe swallow ngeshark,digestive system ikaite malfunction kwakuite vomit.
Mukoma Dan akaitwa throw mugomba remahungry lions,imwimwi mukadziite lose appetite.
Iye Moses hatimboreketi bah,akanera mvura ngendonga ichibva yaita separate nepamiddle kuzoti ari Elijah haaaaaaa, kubva mwaite wekusenda kuheaven ngerocket.
Asi inini hangu wasu ndiri kuda pondo basi yekunera Zed imwimwi mwakundiite deny. 

Ngenyi Mwari muchidaro.
Mbavha yakaroora muroyi ndokuzvara pfambi, zvino chakunetsa ndechekuti  vakushaya wekusiya pamba manheru. Pliz tipeiwo mazano tivabatsire varikuda kutobuda izvozvi.
Zvikanzi hoyo mubvunzo kuna Cde Chinoz, "Nhai vaChinoz, ko iko kupfekedza mwana ma"Nappies" kunonzi chiiko neChirungu?"

Zvikanzi naCde Chinoz, "Aaaa ibvai apa mhani, munondibvunzireiko zvakapusa kudaro? Ndoinonzi "KIDNAPPING" or ku "Kidnapper" mwana!"
Kune vari kunze kwenyika.  Zvidzidzo izvo kuitira musasare.
1). Zvigure hazvichatizwa muroad, takutopesana nazvo mekutozvibvunza ma directions kana warasika.
2) Kuno uka driver mota uri straight unenge wakadhakwa vari sobha vanoita vachibuda muroad vodzoka kunge varikuruka madhoiri coz ma potholes awanda kupfura nzira.
3) kuno blackberry yambudzi zvekuti pa value yakutokundwa neka mtn orange screen saka muzivewo mafon ekuuya nawo.
4) whatsapp caller kuno haiite unenge uchingozvinzwa wega saka kana mafunga kufona motoisa etym henyu.
5.) Zvinhu zvikuti netsei saka panogona kuzongodiwa matissue kuno pamberi apo.
6) line renyu re econet riye rasai henyu coz muno broker coz kwane ma extra lite what what mukadzoka mozotenga re net1. 
7) kuno munhu wese ari kudzidza saka mukadzoka be ready kujoina chirongwa chedzidzo. 
8) baba jukwa hakuchina. Ma facebook bundles akudhura
9) chihure chakatenderwa saka moudza hanzvadzi dzedu kuti ngavauye vatengesere nyama kumba havo.
10) mabasa kuno hakuna

Zvituko:

  1. Magaro asina mutsetse.
  2. Nhamo iri kumba kwenyu haiite munongoswerera mvura kunge radiator.
  3. Kushata kunge mazowe adhailutwa nastepmother.
  4. Mumba mugomba mekuti vanhu vakati kokoko moti wirai
  5. Kusviba zvekuti kana ukavhara muromo, vanhu vanofunga kuti waenda.
  6. Kumba kune nhamo kunodyiwa sadza rinopisa nerakatonhora. Rakatonhora riri muriwo.
  7. Kusviba kwekuti ukabata mwana anokotsira achiti hwaausiku.
  8. Kusviba kwekuti ukaenfa pasi pemutsubvu,dzodonha dzese dzichiti "IGWEEEE".
  9. Kushata kunge cheni dzakaunganidzwa.
  10. Mwana wemvana,wakajaidzwa nambuya vaimama urikumusana.
  11. Kumusha kure kunosvika mapositori akuimba Zim dancehall.
  12. Kusviba kunoendesa amai nababa kun'anga vachiti mwana awora.
  13. Kumusha kne nhamo inotora mapfihwa ichikanda kure . 
  14. Shaya sembwa irikutsenga namo.
  15. Mateya sembwa irikuyerera nerukova.
  16. Mbuya munigga vano dropa pitcot
  17. Kusviba kwekuti shumba ikaruma inoti ptu chakatsva.
  18. Zvigaro sembadzi dzematobwe.
  19. Shena sembwa yasurira pamadota.
  20. Mukanwa mune mvere uka sucker sweet inozonaka mangwana.
MaVendors akagara asina kumbobvira aziiva pekutengesera. 
Vakambovhiringwa naJesu mutembere izvezvi hokoyoyi NeKanzuru
Mufundisi akabvunza chidhakwa nzira yeku Post Office. 
Aratidzwa nzira akatenda chaizvo mufundisi akati kuchidhakwa: "waitabasa wozouyawo kuchurch ndokuratidza nzira yekudenga ".
Chidhakwa chakadzedzereka chichiseka, chikati: "wozoziva yekudenga iwe wambotadza yekuPost Office?"
Zimsec O'level Shona 
Multiple Choice :
Chii chatino kama kana taenda kudanga ? 
A . Mombe 
B . Mukaka 
C . Zamhu
D . Minyatso 

Pastor vachitsanangura zvidhakwa kuipa kwakaita doro nekunaka kwakaita Fanta, vakatora maworms maviri one ndokukanda mufanta then the other one mubeer .After a short while they checked and discovered that the one in the beer was dead and the one in Fanta was still alive.Then pastor asked"madzidzei apa"?One drankard answered"tadzidza kuti vanhu vanonwa doro havana maworms mudumbu".                  
Matthew 5:28: "Uyo anotarisa mkadzi neziso, akamuchiva, atoita upombwe naye."
Kubva 1 June 2015: "Uyo anotarisa mvura neziso, akaichiva, atogeza." June unotonhora ngatisanyeperana.
Vatendi kana muchida kuenda kudenga musangonamate church dzese dzese tangai MAGAYA musati MAKANDIWA mugomba nekuti muno GUMBURA Mwari gore rino tichadzidza zvakawanda!
Toti Tindo ane mhosva here apa??? Tindo akange achiona hake bhora vari mu stadium ndokubva kwanzi nemumwe mdhara, "Mfana enda undondi tengera ice cream ndobva apiwa $ 2 , Ndokubva anzi utengewo yako sezvo yayiita $ 1 each , Tindo ndokuenda ndobva adzoka achitorova yake ndokudzosera mdhara $ 1 zvikanzi ndasvika kwasara 1 chete.