Application letter

The Foromani
Harare City Kanzuru
Tauni House

Wadiwa Foromani

I beg to put my application fo driving the kanzuru rori .
I went ejukeshenu at Chikokandunye at St Nyoka Mission .

I write Samhu I win , I write shona I win , I write Hisitiri I win,
I write Signs I win, I write Jogirafu I draw, I write VID I win again
so if the job is there , I am coming there .
So I have 5 o level and driving raisenzi in the advertaisimenti

kupedzisira ndinoti munofara here mose ikoko? I come and interview you soon

Wenyu akavimbika,

J. Chinotimba
Mdhara Serebhu ari mubhazi achibva kubasa akuenda kumba kwake kuWaterfalls akagara paside pemukadzi arikuyamwisa mwana wake apa mwana arikuramba kuyamwa. Mai vaye vanotyisidzira mwana wavo vachiti, ''ukaramba kuyamwa ndichapa hangu sekuru ava mukaka wako'', Bhazi ratifambe fambe vava paroundabout mwana uye achingoramba kuyamwa mai vaye vanopamha zvakare kuti, ''yamwa iwe ndisati ndapa sekuru awa'' , ipapo Mdhara Serebhu anotarisa kuna mai vaye obva ati , ''ambuya rongai zvinhu zvenyu ka1 kana muchindipa ingondipai izvozvi zamhu racho ndiyamwe, hangu mabvira kudhara muchingoti muchandipa zvino ndakangogara muno apa ndanga ndichifanira kuburukira paZindoga'
Rasta vachireporter case yekubirwa kwavo zvinhu kuna member in charge:

Officer: mkoma tingakubatsirai nei?

Rasta: uhh ndakena mawinds officer, ndagadzikwa mudhish,kugadzirirwa size nemarukaz.

Officer: Taura nyaya yako tibatsirane uye ndoda kuita ndichiinyora.

Rasta:Nezuro handina kukushita paden ,vana tsotsilaz vakakomha paden pangu depaz ndokundinyamurira masinhi ese kusara mava ground. Ndatozvijesibhaya monaz kuti ngwanda rashamura neteam dhakwaz yese yabva yapera offsa.

Officer: iwe saka unoti ndonyora document kuti chii nezvauri kutaura.Taura zvakanaka tizive nyaya yako.

Rasta: Plz officer help me coz shwada iri kuoneka pachivanze iri kuratidza kuti iteam reketaz rakanyamura madzinhi angu. Ndipei 3 maneighborukaz tivabate vasati vanwira ngwanda rangu.

Officer: wabirwa hre? taura zvawabirwa tizive

Rasta: realz manga mune heavy chindanga,4 pairs jordan shwada,bhivha colors rine leaf, clober rese rechirasta ,sunja yekwa sizzla,gudza nyumbi plus 2kg yee ....yee... Haa officer ndafinhurwa.

Officer: Kana wakuda kuzoreporter zvakanaka wozouya ikozvino chimbodzokera hako kumba.

Giv thanks to N.G.M. and send dis to al rastas u kno in da zion.
Weduwe chirungu chakaoma wee!! Umwe mdara was giving directions to a white man.. Go straight then refuse with the road (ramba une nzira) and u will see a big education (high school), kon left (turn left) then u will see a robocop (robot); go down and u will see a big nothing (open space), kon right (turn right), then u will see sunday (church), pass it and pass funeral (cemetery) then u svik (arrive).
Mukadzi akanzi ape speech parufu rwe murume wake...akati...the devil is a LIAR !! Vanhu vese vakati AMEN !...akati...Satan atora murume wangu... BUT HE IS A LIAR MHANI. vanhu...vakati AMEN....
akati ..IN THE NAME OF JESUS,,,MANGWANA CHAIYE NDINENGE NDANE MUMWE....vanhu vakati ziiii
Cde Chinoz vakasungwa nemapurisa ndokuendeswa kucourt.
MAGISTRATE: VaChinotimba mune mhosva yamuri kupomerwa yekuuraya chipembere munobvuma here kana kwete. 
CDE CHINOZ: pamusoroi changamire, makurukota,vedare nemi mose makateerera. Ini ndirikushamisika kuti ndiani arikundipomera mhosva ini ndisina kuuraya chipembere chake.
MAGISTRATE: Tati munobvuma here kuti makauraya chipembere? 
CDE CHINOZ: Hongu chipembere ndakauraya asi ndezvaniko zvipembere zvacho? 
MAGISTRATE: Ndezvedu tose as Zimbabweans. 
CDE CHINOZ: Ehe saka ndakauraya changu zvasara zvose ndezvenyu ini handisisina chipembere.
Chinoz dzakatenga envelope ✉ at a local post office. Dzakaivhura and then screamed on top of his voice into the envelope and ndodva dza vhara hadzo.

Ambuya vemu post office asked him: "Va Chinoz, chiii nhai?"

Chinoz: "Ndiri kutumira voice mail."
Biti: ndakazvarwa mu summer time 
Gono: ndakazvarwa mu winter time 
Chinamasa: ndakazvarwa mu spring time 
Chinoz : ndakazvarwa mu airtime
Tonde aigara panext naNhamo muclass. Tonde aikopa Nhamo kusvikira pakukopa nezita chairo. Nhamo akazoudza Tonde kuti asakopa zita instead aise zita rake panenge pakanzi Nhamo . 
Muraiidzi akazoshamiswa netsumo dzaiti :
  1. Rugare tange tonde.
  2. Kuseka tonde kunge rugare.
  3. Tonde itonde zvayo amai havaroodzwe.
  4. Tonde yeumwe hairambirwi sadza.
Kudanana na Village girl ma 1. 
Boy.... "Goodnyt swit, !
Girlfriend..... "ok switheart, rest in peace...."
Teacher: Baba vanoenda kubasa netsoka vanonzi chii?
Fatso: vanonzi Stepfather
Vamwe baba vakati vava kufa, vakati regai ndiraire mwana zvokuita parufu pachauya vanhu vachibata maoko.

Panouya mapostori, uvige sugar, 
Pachauya veAnglican uvige doro , 
Pachauya veMethodist uvige  nyama , 
Panouya maPentecost uvige mari, 
Panouya veEndtime (Gumbura) uvige amai vako.

Reporter: nhai vaChinoz munoti kudiiko ne Ebola irikuda kupinda munyika? 
Chinoz: haa mfana yakapinda kare kare, ndiyo yaingonzi nanavaMugabe nepa T.V pose kuti IBOLA EGEDIN
  • When Zimbabweans have money and minerals they keep it in Switzerland. 
  • When they are sick they go to South Africa or Malaysia. 
  • When buying mansions they visit Dubai or London. 
  • When shopping they go to China or Dubai. 
  • When on holiday they visit South Africa, America or London. 
  • When educating their children they select South Africa, Malaysia, Australia, UK or America. 
  • When praying they go to Lagos or Jerusalem, 

BUT when they die they all want to be BURIED in ZIMBABWE! 
Please could you ask them for me, is ZIMBABWE A CEMETERY?
Chinoz and Gono vachirova gochi gochi...,
Chinoz: Reply the meat
Gono: What..??
Chinoz: I said reply the meat
Gono: What.....!
Chinoz: Ndati pindura nyama iyo dofo..