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Chikurubi Football Club set to sign Prophet Magaya

Latest Football Transfer News

Chikurubi football club is on the brink of signing a 32
year old striker, Walter Magaya before the transfer
window closes,to further strengthen their strike
force.

They already signed Munyaradzi Kereke on a 10
year deal. Kereke and Magaya they play similar
role,they will be partnering veteran Gumbura* in
attacking.

$300 kunoona Magaya

Vamwe vaibhadhara $300 kuona Magaya kuGuest House face to facec isu takazomuona mahara kucourt 

Masai ekupenga - Prophet Magaya rape case 2016

Otoona munhu achitsamwa kut prophet vanzi vahura  hanzi kunyepa asi murume wako akahura inoita Hondo

PHD (yaMagaya) yakamirirei?

Kwahi PHD zvinoreva kuti:

Pano 
Hatijaidze
Dhirez

Derere rinonzii nechishona?

Teacher: class derere nechishona rinonzii? 
Kambeni: sliding vegetables 
Teacher: stupid ko kona inonzii Prosper? 
Prosper: nzveeeee!!!

Kurumidza kusvipa!

Mumwe muface aifamba nemukadzi wake, vachibva vaona musikana akanakisa. Muchinda akabva amedzera mate mukadzi wake akazviona zvikanzi.."Kurumidza kusvipa!"

vasikana musasvora ma teacher

Askana musashore munhu kana asati aane mari muchiti moda vakomana vane mari. Rimwe gore umwe muskana akaramba Robert Gabriel Mugabe achiti ma teacher haana mari, nanhasi paanonzwa sirene yemotorcade anozvirova mbama.

vanhu vanoita zvinobhowa

Type yevanhu vandakamaka: 

  1. Munhu anoramba sadza asi achida kunhonga nyama. 
  2. Munhu anoramba kupinda muden achiti ari pahurry asi oita 40 minutes achisasa ari padoor. 
  3. Muskana anoita 3 hrs achiramba kuda kusvirwa kusingatore 3mins,ozoda kuramba akabatirira watotunda kare. 
  4. Zimunhu rinobvunza zvariri kuona richisvika pamuri,eg "Ah,ibhora here ramuri kuona iri?" or "Ah hey,ndiJohn here akarova suit uyu?" dako remunhu.
  5. Munhu anoita basa rekuverenga zvakanyorwa nevamwe achisekerera sezvaurikuita ipapo.

Wasu wabatwe nge confusion

Wasu aibva kwamtre ari mubhazi, inini ndakagara kuwindow wasu vari nechekupassage vakabata zinhanga mumaoko. Bhazi rati fambei fambei wasu hope dzakabata vachipota vachida kudonha ini ndokunzwa tsitsi ndokuvati huyai mugare nechekuwindow ndokubatirai nhanga renyu. Takachinjana asi handina kuziva kuti zvataiita izvi wasu vanga vari kuhope vaingobvuma. Patakazoti tave muRuwa wasu ndipo pavakazoti pepu vakaona vakagara kuwindow ini ndakabata nhanga zvikavanetsa,inzwa mubvunzo wavazondibvunza.
WASU: Excuse me amuna wee, ndavisitirwa ngeconfusion ndingabvunzawo ere?. 
ININI: Bvunzai zvenyu.
WASU: Handisi kuziwa kuti imwimwi ndimwi inini ere kana kuti inini ndini imwimwi?

Chikomana chinofarira sadza!

Jane.: Babe ndakusuwa ukuitei?
Tindo.: Ndikudya sadza bby.
Jane.: Ko dai ndiripo dai tichiitei?
Tindo.: Dai wakanditarisa ndichidya sadza.
Jane.: Ko dai pasina sadza?
Tindo.: Dai Nditori kutobika sadza.
Jane.: Tomboti dai pasina hupfu?
Tindo.: Dai tiri kuchigayo ndichigayisa hupfu hwekubikisa sadza.
Jane.: Sadza munorida hantie... Sadza neni chii chamunoda sterek?

Tindo.: Nxaaaah usaenzanise sadza nezvinhu zvisina basa!!

chinoz - Mazita ama bhuku

Teacher: Ndipeiwo mazita emabook amunoziva
Bruce Kangwa: Kusasana Kunoparira by M. A. Hamutyinei
Teacher: Good... Umwe
Zvirekwi: Macbeth by W. Shakespear
Teacher: Excellent!!! Umwewo
(Chinoz raises his hand with much enthusiasm)
Teacher: Eh Chinoz tell us...
Chinoz : Counter book by Croxley.

Mukadzi oreurura zvitadzo kumurume

Mukadzi airwara serious akati regai ndiudze murume wangu zvandakatadza ndisati ndafa,    

Mukadzi : daddy ndakufa  ini          
Murume :  usadaro swty ahufe mwari vanewe        
Mukadzi : sorry honey nezvandakaita ndaikubira mari ndichinopa boyfriend yangu pluz Tadiwa ahasi mwana wako ndiwe boyfriend              
Murume : ndaizviziva ndosaka ndakuisira poison!

Mwana waMwari ndeupi?

Benzi rakapinda mu church rakabata pfuti rikasvika rikati, "Ndiani mwana waMwari ndimuendese kuna baba vake izvozvi?" Hapana munhu akataura kana kudaira. Rakabva radzokorodza zvakare richiridzira pfuti mudenga. "Ndati ndiani mwana wa Mwari muno ndimuendese kudenga kuna Mwari izvozvi?" Vamwe rasta vakabva vasimuka vakanongedzera pastor. Zvikanzi napastor "Iweeee-eeh! Ndisiye zvangu ini ndiri mwana wemuera Soko wepa Murehwa apa! Ndakazoita mwana waMwari riinhi???"

Gospel nema Avocado (2016)

Unonzwa Fungisai achiimba kuti amai ndakanaka handisi avocado repamusika rinongobatwa richisiiwa asi wozonzwa Andy Muridzo achiimbawo kuti mai mwana wakanaka uri avocado unenge Derira

Wotoshaya kuziva kuti ko asi maAvocado acho akasiyana here

masasi ekupenga - kufarisa sembudzi

Usafarise sembudzi inosimudza muswe ichikanganwa kuti ndiro bhurugwa