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Kufa kuri nani

Wife: sweetheart,ndiurairewo shumba. 
Husband: umm bby wandiomesera wadii wati ndiite chimwe chirinani. 
Wife: horaiti,ndipewo foni yako ndiverenge ma whats app messages ako. 
Husband: ahhh ndiratidze hako kuneshumba ndiuraye

Sei jongwe richi kukuridza rakatarisa mudenga?

Jongwe akavhunzwa kuti cey uchikukuridza wakatarisa mudenga zvikanzi najongwe ndinenge ndichitenda mwari kuti vakandipa mukadzi asina brugwa

Imbwa ichizamiwa doro

Teacher vakaisa mvura nedoro in different dishes and took a dog. Imbwa yakabva yamwa mvura ikasiya doro then the teacher asked vana kuti vadzidzei . Tindo akabva ati ndadzidza kuti wese asingamwi doro imbwaaa

Blaz vekuda kuonererwa mukombi

Umwe mukomana akapinda mukombi achida kuzviita wemhando yepamusoro,anoona umwe musikana akanaka ndokuti sisi face yenyu haisi itsvaa kwandiri.Sisi ndokuti chokwadi haisi ndini ndinokupai maARV pahospital

Ndotii tezvara vane dzungu

Guys help me! My wife told me kuti vatezvara varikunzwa dzungu saka manje ndoda kuvafonera ndinzwe kuti vari sei. Zvino ndotikudii?

a) "Maswera sei nedzungu renyu?" OR 
b) "Ndanzwa kuti mune dzungu?" OR 
c) "Razopera here dzungu?" kana ndongoti
d) "Ndimika mune dzungu"
Ndotikudii?

Kunetsa kwemari mugore ra 2016

Mari yanetsa but Vanoda easy access to their funds vhurai account  neNMB...
And you can withdraw any amount that you want, no questions asked..

No bank charges!

National Mattress Bank unongoisa mari yako pasi peMattress

Chinoz - svomhu

Mwana: nhai baba 1+1chii
Chinoz: handizive
Mwana: ko 2+2
Chinoz: handizive
Mai: vanomboziveyiko baba vako daiwabvunza zvehwahwa
Mwana: 1scud+1scud
Chinoz: 2 mascuds ka
Mwana: 2 mascuds+2mascuds
Chinoz: 4 mascuds
Mwana: 4mascuds+2mascuds
Chinoz: ratova crate kkkkkkkkkkkkk

Gogo vachipa mutyairi nzungu

Mbuya vakagara zvavo pakadoma just
behind the Kombi driver vaine zvavari
kudya havo.
GOGO: oooh tambira
mwanangu (Vachidaro kuna driver)
vachi mutambidzadriver nzungu shanu,
DRIVER: maita basa zimhandara
(achitambira ndokudya)
GOGO:tambira futi mutyairi (vachimupa
nzungu nhatu) driver anokanda mukanwa.
DRIVER: nhai GOGO manga
matengerei nzungu muchiziva kuti
hamukwanisi kudzidya?
GOGO:haiwawo mwanangu, ndivoka
vazukuru vangu vanditengera
chokoreti ine nzungu, ndoyandiri kuti
ndikasvisvina nzungu dzasara
ndokupawo.

Chinoz - gstring

Mwanasikana waChinoz akafa neAIDS , Pakugova nhumbi, Chinoz akasangana ne G string remwana wake. Ndokudzungudza musoro achichema akaribata. Akati chirwere chakashata ichi kun'en'ena bhurugwa remwana wangu kusvikarasara tambo dzega kudai 

Kutyisa kwe Zim Dollar

Dai vanhu waitya Mwari sezvavanoita Zimdollar , Zimbabwe ingadai iri mberi mberi kwedzimwe nyika.

Mwanasikana - Mubvunzo kuvabereki

Mwanasikana oramba kuperekedzwa kundokwira bhazi rechikoro oenda kubhazi ega. Manheru acho monzwa kt bhazi rakabheuka rikauraya vana vese. Pamunoti regai tonotora chitunha chemwana, motomuona achiuya, oti handina kuzoenda ndarara kuboyfreind yangu !! 
Munotenda Mwari here kana kuti boyfriend yake kana kuti modii?

Kwaiva nehondo here?

Mai Taku: "Askana, ndiani arwara zvandaona mufundisi achibuda mumba menyu mangwanani?"
Mai Tino: "Mind your own business! Menyu zvamakabuda musoja nezuro, maiva nehondo
 here?"

Wasu - fodya mubhazi

Wasu vakabatidza fodya yavo mubhazi ndobva zvanzi nevamwe mai, "Argh imi mukwasha madii kuburitsa musoro nepahwindomatikwadza nehutsi," zvikanzi naWasu, "Aiwa, tibvirei apo, imwi mwabve kwese iyo mweisura pane amboti budisai matako enyu ngepa windo ere?"

Kuumba mutsara ne nyaudzosingwi

Mudzidzisi akati kuvana ndiani anogona kuumba mutsara nenyaudzosingwi chete. Vana vese vakatarisa pasi , Kedu Puro kakasimudza ruoko ndokuti:
"Nyahwa nyahwa, Cheu cheu, bhenengu, pindikiti, gwaa, tsvanzva tsvanzva, mba mba mba,kikiri kikiri, pidigu dhi, fugu, tanyu,werenyu, pfeee,nyaaa, koyi koyi koyi koyi, tsa tsa tsa tsaaaaaa, bwayi bwayi, zvomo, rabada,ziiiiiiii."

Vana varambidzwa kuenda kushow

Baba vakarambidza vana vavo kuenda kushow yajah prayzer ndokuvakiira muroom mavo. Vana vakaboora buri pamusoro pamazen'e ndokuenda kushow. Vadzoka vana vakapinda mumbaa mvura ndokutanga kunayaa. Vana vakadaidza baba kuti tave kunaiwa. Baba vakati tichapavhara kana kwaedza. Kuchiedza baba vakadana mai ndokuvatsika pafudzi kuti vakwanise kuvhara buri iri vana vachtamba panze. Pamba pakasvika muenzi ndokubvunza vana kuti kovabereki varipi, vana vakati vakakwirana mumba umo vari kuvhara buri ratakabuda naro