Reporter : nhai vaChinoz why is it mazuvaano vasikana vachizora zvinotsukisa?
Chinotimba : ndoo inonzi indigenisation tave kugadzira varungu tega muno muZimbabwe
Husband : Babes uripi ?
Wife : Im home 
Husband : Kunyepa ita on radio
Wife : Radio on shhhhhh
Next day the same thing until one day Zesa raenda murume ndokuti let me surprise my wife wanikwe kumba kune mwana ari ega.
Baba : Iwe amai varipi
Mwana : Hameno vangobuda vakabata ka radio makuseni
Benzi: ''Chiremba ndiri kuita problem yekurota makudo achitamba bhora everyday."
Doctor: "Tora mapiritsi aya wonwa manheru pakurara."
Benzi: "Manje ndotoanwa mangwana nokuti nhasi manheru ndokune FINAL"
Jonso ndiye aiva mface muhombe muform 3c apa aichena achidiwa nema bhebhi but gwazhi manga musina. Rimwe zuva akazopfimba chibabe chaidiwa nateacher vemaths chimunewcomer. Teacher vakagaya kuwachisa Jonso muleson. 
Teacher: "Jonso 5+5 answer ndiyani ?". Kuti averenge zvigumwe achionekwa Jonso akatya kumakisa.  Kwaakuisa maoko muhomwe ndokuverengera. 
With confidence Jonso dzakazodaidzira " Answer ndi 11 sir."
Murume:ko kana ndikafa unoita sei?
Mukadzi: Ndoroorwa nemumwe murume
Murume:ko pfuma yangu unoita sei nayo?
Mukadzi:ndodya nemurume anenge andiroora
nekuti anenge achitichengeta nevana
Murume:Ko suit nehembe dzangu unodii nadzo
Mukadzi:Ndodzitengesa
Murume:nemhaka yei?
Mukadz:nekuti mupfupi haadzikwane.
Mai vekwangu ndavatadza hama dzangu. She wants a present fo evrything; birthdays, month end, Easter, weekends, Heroes... Well zvishoma izvo, today I woke up to a shock, hanzi, "..darling, what are you buying me for xenophobia..?"
Teacher: Simba ndipewo sentence ine izwi rekuti 'sugar'. 
Simba : amai vakunwa tea. 
Teacher: saka izwi rekuti 'sugar riripapi apa?. 
Simba: muTea imomo mune sugar
MASASI EVANHU VAKATIZA XENOPHOBIA
1)EJOZALE HAKUNA ZVESE IZVI.
2)UMM MINA MUSANDIISIRE ROMI
PACHINGWALE.
3)KATI KUNO HAKUCHABATI SABC EISH
MAKASARA.
4)CHINGWA KUITA R10 CHINOMBOISWA
CHIIKO CHINGWA CHACHO.
5)ZVINHU ZVAMUNAZVO MUNO MUMBA
HAZVITIMBOSVIKI PAHALF YEZVANGU
ZVAKAPISWA NEMBWA DZEKUSOUTH.
6) TWIZA MINA HANDIBATI INWAI ZWENYU.
7) INI NDAJAIRA KUKWIRA MATAXILE
ZVEMAKOMBI ZVINONETSA
8) 15c PER MINUTE IYI NDOINONZI
DAYLIGHT ROBBERY CHAIYO KUSOUTH
HAKUNA ZWESE IZWI
9)MINA SHONA INONDIVHEKISALE
10)KHATI MARI YEMUZIM YAKUNZI MABOND
COIN
Kana wakaita izvi, wachembera:

  1. Watched Mvengemvenge Ezomgido by Eric night
  2. Watched macguiver,21 jump street tour of duty and Neighbours, Chips
  3. Sang Ishe Komborerai Africa
  4. Ate ma doink and viscos
  5. Drank Tarino
  6. Used a 5cent coin that had a rabbit
  7. Tear sandcooler in half to share with your fried
  8. Used sand as an antiseptic
  9. Your first television set was black n white called Giant or  President.
  10. You can sing Ndochi
  11. Once ate mango and salt
  12. Kuwachira Carpet pamsoro pemba.
  13. Kutumwa kunotenga chingwa wotenga sliced wodya mapiece 2 epakati.
  14. Kuba salt mumba uchida kudya mabhurumango mambishi awaienda kunoba pamaraini penyu.
  15. Kuita game rekuvhura magazine uchiti page iyi ndeyangu rekuside uko nderako.
  16. Kumisa bhazi pabus stop pasina vamwe rakamira wotiza uchiseka.
  17. Kutumwa kumashops kunotenga madrinks maEmpty ari mupaperbag achifamba achirira road yose.
  18. Kukwira muti wotanga kudriver uchiti ibhazi.
  19. Kunotamba bhora nevamwe team yako yakadyiwa woti handichada ndipei bhora rangu ndakuenda kumba.
  20. Kuzora mafuta pamusoro peshena.
  21. Kugadzira bhora rezvikweshe rinedombo pakati woti vapfanha vakike!
  22. Kusunga huswa munzira kuti vamwe vadonhe.
  23. Kuisa salt pasi perurimi kana waita mhosva kuti ukarohwa ufende!
  24. Ukadenhwa term ichitanga wozogarira munhu wacho pagedhi rechikoro musi wekuvhara
  25. Kuba nzimbe kumaraini asi kumba kwenyu dziriko.
  26. potato crips zaza the stalet mama chomupikini puzzi the dog
  27. Ukanzwa Jarzin man woziva kuti ndakubuda mumba kuenda kuchikoro.
  28. Kutswanyirana sweet ne dombo 
  29. kunoona wwf panext kana une shena hawaibvumirwa kupinda
  30. Kana wakambopfeka PRO-SPORT OR Grasshooper

Boy :  Hesi shaa
Girl  :  Hi
Boy :  Unonzani?
Girl  :  Tammie
Boy :  Ndo zita rako rese?
Girl. :  Aiwa....
Boy :  Ropedziswa sei?
Girl :  Tamamanenhamo.
Mbiri ye nzvimbo
                                     
1. Bulawayo - okapi knife🔪, shabhini 🍺🍻🍺
2. Mutare mheni
3. Gokwe varoyi👽
4. Murehwa ngoma📦
5. Mt Darwin runyoka🐍
6. Kwekwe amakorokoza 💎
7. Shurugwi makorokoza 💎 mhondi 🔪🔫💂
8. Gutu vanhu vakapusa
9. Binga vanhu vakasara vanoda mbanje🚬 stereki
10. Shamva mahure👩 asina utsanana🛀🚿
11. Bunket, centenary - zvigure👿
12. Gweru chando 💨
13. Zaka, chipinge varoyi👽                  
14 mtoko mapuno
15. masvingo kudhura💰 kuroora👰 💍 + kuchekeresa💘
16 Marondera huchi🍘
17 chivi vasikana👭 vakashata
18 Nyanga bananas 🍌🍌🍌
19 Chiweshe vaporofita👼
20. Harare ....ndokwatirikuitira reseach🌐📚💻 yacho.
Iwe👈 unobvepi?
Jarzin chirongwa chemadhora "vaChinotimba, mubvunzo wekupedzisira mobva matora mari... 'munhu anozviuraya nekuzvisungirira neChirungu zvinonzi chii?"
Chinoz: haa zvakapusa izvo... "Tie and Die".
Ba Tindo vachipembedza mwana wavo mu kombie vanhu vakanyarara.
Tindo : "dady apa ndopanonzi pagomo hospital handiti?"
Ba Tindo: " yes mwanangu"

Kombie yati fambe fambe vachitaura nemazwi ari pamusoro vanhu vese vakanyarara. 

Tindo: " dady apa ndopa ZBC panoverengwa news handiti" . 
Ba Tindo: ndizvozvo chaizvo mwanangu u are very clever keep it up boy". 

Kombi yapinda mutown mwana akadeedzera zvekare. 

Tindo:"dady this is Rezende street corner Charter handiti?". 
Ba Tindo: " argh u are very clever unotokunda vamwe varume vakuru kuziva harare" 
Apa mwana anga amera zenze manje . 
Tindo:" Dady apa ndopa Harare Central Police Station patakauya kuzokuona na mhamha masungwa maramba kubhadhara hure handiti?"

Baba vakabva vati zii kunga vasipo


Munamato waDredhi:
Almight jah in the heaven pihwai sando dzenyu mdhara bcoz munotispakira mazhets ese tipeiwo mhasuru dzemweya kuti satani asatiuraire bhasikoro,anofanira kuziva kuti hamuite hamuite paanozocheka masettings anofanira kushaya kuti zvinhu zvacho zvirikumbofambasei tokusimbisai bigtym mdara god tobatana later muzita remudhon wenyu jesu ndasasa.
Amen
10 mitemo yechikweshe:

1. Akafuta ndiye keeper
2. Bhora rinopera kana vanhu vaneta
3. Nyangwe game riri 20 - 0 vanopedzesera kugowesa ndivo vahwina
4. Hapana referee 
5. Hakuna offside
6. Muridzi webhora akatsamwa game rapera
7. The best 2 havafanirwe kutambira same team, ndivo vanosarudza maplayers
8. Anokavira bhora kure ndiye anonorinhonga.
9. Kana pane score isina kunzwisisika, either inobvumwa or panorohwa penalt
10. Zvinomakisa kuita wekupedzisira kusarudzwa nekuti unenge usingabatsire