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Musi wandaka kangamwa bhurugwa tichienda ku svondo

Waiva musi wesvondo apo taigadzirira kuenda kuchurch.Ndakazonzwa mbuya vakusheedzera kuti Gire chibuda tiende, Apa kana kugeza ndakange ndisina,Ndakazofunga kuti ndaizopfura ndichigeza pachirwizi chaive pedyo nemusha.Ndakati sezvo brugwa rangu rainhuwa weti regai ndiriwache rofamba richioma.Takati tichisvika pamusuwo wechurch ndokuona simon achimhanya akananga kwandiri achidana zita rangu ,sezvo aive ane nguva achindipfimba ndakati arikuda kutaura nyaya yake ndokutizira muchurch.Ndakashamisika vanhu vese vachindicheuka vachiseka ndikati hameno, ndakazoti tati garei ndokuzouya usher pandiri zvikanzi "Sisi bvisai brugwa riri mumusoro."

Ndakange ndakanganwa kuti paye patakageza ndakariisa mumusoro kuti rifambe richioma

Chinoz - dont worry pamwe haisi yako

Chinoz akasvika mwanasikana wake achichema.
Chinoz: Ko urikuchemei Paida?
 Paida akapindura "Baba ndine nhumbu"...
Chinoz: Usacheme pamwe haisi yako

Madzimai mune nhamo

Madzimai ari munhamo. After all the makeup, lots of creams, sexy perfumes & they make the
best hairstyle ever! 
Finally guys look at them and say... "HONA GARO..."

Vachihera vabatwa nechikomba

Vachihera vakanga vabatwa vaine chikomba, chinzwa pamuromo, hanzi: "Zvamurimi mufambe muchiudza vanhu kuti mandibata nechikomba ndimi munozvishoresa kuti makaroora hure.

Mabasa edoro

Baba:Nhai mai mwana,ko mutoilet maisa light re automatic?
Amai: nemhaka yei madaro baba?
Baba: ndikungomuka ndovhura door light roto lighter,ndovhara rodzima.
Amai: Nhai imi matanga futi system yenyu yekuwetera muFiriji kana madhakwa

Hausiwo pa facebook kana whatsapp?

Baby: handina mari yekuti tinyatso taura pafoni. Hausi ku facebook, twitter kana  whatsapp here?
TANYA : Aehwa... ndiri kuMasvingo ini!

Tsumo dzeku Dande

Isu tiri makorekore ekuDande varaihwai notsumo dzedu idzi

1)Nzungu ibodzi idewora inetayisa dama rese.
2)Chawawana ija naabiyako atohwa anevaraihwa.
3)Mombe yekupasiwa wetekama udenangara nzira. 
4)Nhamo inhamo zvayo anyoko havarooresewe.
5)Karombo kununa kunyopora mabiyakene.
6)Mutemo Mutemo kunya wetechonjomara.
7)Tidebva nako kuderimiwa mhunga hakuna mugunde.
8)Zvidenyohwa zvidenyohwa hazvinyohonohwe.
9)Tombi asingarire anefira muchari.


Batsirai vekwa Jairos Jiri

Chimumumu chakapinda munight club chikarova zvacho beer uku chichi flasha flasha mazimari ,,ndokuzokecha hure,, chakanorara naro usiku hwese,,kuseni hure ravakuchida kuenda apa rava kutaura mari yokupenga, chimumumu ndokubudisa pepa rokwa Jairos Jiri rakanzi "PLEASE PROVIDE THIS PERSON WITH FREE SERVICES AND ENTERTAINMENT YOU NEVER KNOW TOMORROW IT COULD BE YOU"

Tsamba kuna Tete

Dear Aunty Rhoda : ndaitawo dambudziko. Mukadzi wangu anorara akapfeka hovhorosi. Pamwe bomber jacket, pamwe swimsuit , pamwe track suit. Nezuro akarara ne overcoat mukati aine skin tight. Ndodiiwo? 
Mhinduro: Dear Muzukuru, Ukwane iwe wanzwa. Tenga magumbeze nxaa. Tibvire apo

Wanga wasiya remote

Mbavha yakanoba DvD player pamba paigara benzi, zvakabuda zvakasonana mbavha ichitiza. Mbavha yakasvika pakuneta ndokumira. Benzi rakasvikawo richibata mbavha richifemereka zvikanzi “wanga wasiya remote”..

Masasi ekupenga - Mabasa embanje paMabvuku

Veduwee vanhu ngavatsvage mabasa uye mbanje dziitwe shoma! Ndiyani akanyora pagedhi remabvuku cemetry kuti anenharo ngaamuke....

Zimbabwe Violence League 2016

Saka log yedu yekupondana yamira so:

  1. MaPostori......... P2....W2....D0...L0.. Pts6
  2. Cross Boarders P1... W1... D0.. L0...Pts3
  3. DeMbare fans.. P1..  W1..  D0.. L0...Pts3
  4. Zimra..............  P1... W0... D0.. L1...Pts0
  5. ZRP................  P3... W0....D0.. L3...Pts0
ZRP mightbe relegated this season

Mharidzo yevanhu vasingapindi denga

Pastor: "Varoyi havapindi denga"
Chidhakwa : "Amen Pastor"
Pastor: "Mhombwe hadzipindi denga"
Chidhakwa:"Allelujah Munhu WaMwari"
Pastor: "Vanonyeya ,vamwe,mhondi nembavha havapindi denga"
Chidhakwa:"Ndizvozvo Pastor taurai zvenyu"
Pastor: "Kana zvidhakwa hazvipindi denga"
Chidhakwa: "Ndera mai vako here denga racho raunorambidza vamwe"

Maticha haazivi zvaanoda!

Mateacher makanzi pfekai mauniform mukaramba. Hezvo nhasi hurumende yoti irikutanga kubhadhara mauniformed forces imi mochema. Saka munodei chaizvo?

Wasu - Wachi diskasa football

Mwatambiro andaite bhora ndiri mukomana kana ku world cup ndaisvika ndikazwa nekurumwa ndi Suarez!
Wakazwa ere zvendakaite maMutare paSakubva stadium gore riya Sahwi? Ndakati ndechoo dribbule ball forward ndichinzvenge madefenders kwakubva ndaitwe brought down near the 18 area referee achibva a blowe whistle kwakuti awarde free kick.
Ndakasete ball kwakubva ndatomuka tomuka ndichiteste humidity, ndechoo gwinhe gwinhe leg rangu backwards kuteste strength. Kwakuite release the shot chubhu yechibva yaite goaaaaaal! Skin kwakuite sky high mafans kwakutange ku ganzirana ganzirana paya referee achibva amedze pito nge surprise!!!