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Zvituko

  1. kudhen kwavo vakaita zvekutopaza imba vachida kuextenda garden, 
  2. Hanzi iye manje kufambafamba achi chemera kunzi gen'a iye ari one,
  3. Ikokani kuzochemera zve kurara mukona imba yavo iri yeround,
  4. nepaye paaichemera kurara pakati ivo vari vavairi
  5. Hanzi imba yenyu ihure yakanzwa muridzo invhurika maketeni
  6. Kumba kwenyu kune brugwa one atanga kumuka ndiye anoripfeka
  7. Nzeve dzinomisa mota maoko ari muhomwe.
  8. Wakapaza ma OK uchida kuba chikorobho

Mari yaWasu yaramba kukwana

Kwanzi samanyika vakabve kumusha vechiende Harare. Asvike Harareyo akakwira katekisi ka R2 kuchozoenda kuMbare manje. Ati fambei samanyika akati kuna driver.

Ko yaa marii , iye akati 12 dollars . paakadaro ango ochindosvika parobhoti , robhoti richibva
rachinjokuita red manje. Saka driver akamisa motika achibva aisa mota mugiya ( giya rinoitwa zvekukakata riye)apa samanyika vachingoona. 

Samanyika vakati 'Iyavozve Musharukwa unozvomore ndonga kuti ndarambokubhadhara here, inga wani ndangubvunzokuti ndiziye badzi?'

vakandiviga kwandisingadi

mumwe blazo aiita basa rekuti munhu akafa akavigwa ne coffin riri expensive iye woenda kunomufukunura usiku oba coffin racho ozotengesa. 

Saka umwe usiku achibva 'kubasa' kwake kugrave yard akatakura coffin raanga aba pamusoro
akabva asanganidzana nemapurisa. Vakamubvunza kuti aiitei necoffin, iye ndokupindura achiti, "Vanopenga, havangambondiviga apa pandakati handidi saka ndiri kutoenda kunozviviga nechepamberi apo." 

boni

Boni ane zimhuno ziguru. Saka nhasi seValentine's day atora musikana wake akagumira Grade 3 (ane makumbo makobvu)kuenda kuhotera. Vanga vachitaure zvakanaka fani. 

Vasvika pamusiwo wehoterai Boni abva avhura door akati kumusikana "Ona Ladies" Musikana akati "aa IweOna Nose"
Apa anga achifunga kuti Boni amutuka achiti makumbo ake akakoresa.

Ma robotsi

panga pane muchinda anga angobva kumusha......so aifamba zvake mutown ndobva aswika parobot yanga irigreen....akabva amira paya ndokuposer achiti aritorwa pikicha asi Robot rakabva rachinja kuita red within the next minute...mukomana ndokutanga kuchema achiti "Ah..iwe urikunditsvukisira ziso nekuti urikuda dollar rangu! Handisi kuda naro ini!"

Wasu kuBorrowdale

Wakomana wasu akaoma, nezuro I paid him a visit kumansion kwake kuBorrowdale, achibva ati ngatimboite drive around, takaende kuBon Marche, ndokuzadze trolly ngegrocery wasu kwakuchionyore katsamba, kwazi ndini wasu ndapfuura ngemuno achibve aise signature, techiobuda imomo kwaakuenda kuJameson hotera ndokudye masitondodo kusvika tazvimbirwa, wasu kwaakunyore katsamba kuti ndini ndadye mapfidjongwi nefriend yangu, kwaakubude muya, tasvika pajunction pane madisco lights mota dzese kwaakumire zvikanzi wasu pfuura,imi anhuwe, takazopedzisira ngepaZimbank wasu kwakuburitse chitupa ndokupfekera pamadziro, pachibva pabude mazimari.

Wasu va chidya mari

Vakomana paweekend takadye mari, takabve muHarare ndokusvika paMarondera kwakuspende fifte, kwakusvika paHeadleands kwakuspende fifte futi, tichibva tamboite rest paChristmas pass kwakuspende fifte, tasvika maMutare kuti tiproceede kuende bocha kwakuspende fifte, tichangobude maMutare kwakumire pane imwe township kwakuspende fifte fiuti, tikati arume ngatimbocalculator finance yataspenda wanike iya!!!, inga tadya mari total expenditure yanga iri $2,50.

Joo apedza vakadzi vevanhu

Manje Kira akabva kubasa kwake Buruwayo achimboshanyira vadzimai kupfanyas. Akaburukira patownship akagotanga kunwa hwahwa negen'a romuraini make. Gen'a  rikagotanga kumusasa kuti madzimai ese ari muraiini make apera kukwirwa naJoo.
Asvika kumba vadzimai vakamugamuchira samazuva ose. 

Iye aingofunga nyaya iya but apa achingofungawo kuti kuda wake ndiye akasara kukwirwa naJoo. Akagoti kuna Vadzimai:
"Ko ndanzwa kuti Joo apedza kukwira vakadzi vavanhu muraini kusiya kwomumwe chete
Vadzimai: "MMmm ungava ani iyeye wakasara aa Pamwe
ndimai Mary."

Wasu vavhi describer house

Mumwe wasu achiita describe 3 bedroomed house ine inside toilet yakanga
yavakwa nemwana wake. "Akavaka umba ine dzimba dzokurara nhatu nekaumba
kemadhoti mukatiyo."

Mbavha yaka hwanda mu mortuary

Pane imwe mbavha yaimhanyiswa nemapurisa. Yakabva yamhanyira mumortuary ikarara paside nezvitunha.Mapurisa vakapinda mumortuary muye ndokutarisa-tarisa asi havana kuiona. Mumwe mupurisa akabva adaidzira kuti "vakafa vese simudzai maoko tione" Mbavha yakabva yasimudza ruoko.

Muzenda, nguva yehondo

kanyongolo, Bob naMze vakanga vakahwanda kuseri kwemabhini munguva yehondo. Mabhunu akadarika nepavaive vakahwanda Mze akabva agumha bin. Mabhunu ndokubva akutarisa kuti chii chkange chadaro. Kanyongolo naBob ndobva vati mew! mew! mabhunu akabva afunga kuti ikatsi ndobva vaenda. Vasati vasvika kure Mze akagumha bin riya zvakare. Mabhunu akadzokazve Mze akati "its the other cat"

Zeve zeve nema bino

Bob, Mze, Grace na Maud vakaenda kuNetherlands kumusangano. Panguva yekudya Madzimai ainge ari downstairs varume vari upstairs. Bob akatora microphone ndokudaidza Grace kuti auye kuzodya. Mze ndokutora mabinoculars ndokubva aona Moud ave pedyo ndokubva anangisa nzeve akati Mai Muzenda chiuyai mudye achi zevezera

Ndakangamwa manhingi angu

Vamwe baba vakadaidaidzwa kuinterview.Musi weinterview waka svika.So he woke up early for the interview.Vakasvika about 15 minute earlier.Vakatambirwa nekasecretary kechinose,zvikanzi asecretary "good morning sir,what can I do 4 yu?"Blaz vheti yaivanetsa zvakaipisisa,vakabva vapindura vachiti Morning,I have come for intervals.Secretary akabva aseka zvakabhowa blaz,blaz vakange vatobvisa maglaz emaziso vaisa patable yasecretary nekubhowekana vakabva vasimuka zvimwe zvechiramwa zviye zviye apa amnga muri muninth floor.By the time akasvika paground floor akabva afeeler kuti akanganwa maglaz ake.So he went back kuna secretary.Secretary ndokuti Oooh sir yu have come back again.Sekuru ndokuti well I have forgotten my testicles

vaMuzenda Y2K Compliance

Paive naBob, Morgan nasekuru Muzenda apo vakada kutestana ruzivo. Kedu Bob nukungwarisa ndiko kakatanga kubvunza Morgan. "Can you tell at least one thing that is Y2K compliant??" "Of course, the other day i was talking to my bank manager and he reassurred me that the bank's computers were Y2K compliant as such there weren't gonna be problems in the new century" Bob nodded approvingly obviosly impressed by Morgan's knowledge. "obviosly you have done a lot of research on this, well i dont have to ask somebody i can tell you now that our government computers are indeed compliant i was there when the Microsoft guys did the tests." 
It was now Muzenda's turn. He turned to Morgan and asked, "Iwe Morgan Y2K
(waitukei) Mugabe parally yenyu ye MDC?"

Greetings: by Moses Chunga

Moses Chunga visited Birmingham for a soccer match. On arrival at the
airport he met some reporters who then asked him if he wanted to greet
someone from Zimbabwe. Moses Chunga went on to say "I would like to say hie
to my Mum and Dad not forgetting my Mother and Father"

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