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Buri pa ceiling

Vana nekushereketa vakaboora buri pa ceiling  ravakashandisa pakubuda mumba mavakange vakiirwa. Unfortunately vabereki vava vaive vanhu vapfupi. Vakange vasina mari yekugadzirisa ceiling. 
Mai mwana ini ndichakwira pamusoro pako kuti ndikwanise kusvikira paburi iri kuti tiri gadzire. Mai mwana vakabva vamira baba ndokubva vakwira pamapendekete avo kuti vasvikire ceiling. 
Vana vakabva vanzi endai munotambira mumba pakabva pasvika vaenzi vakatambirwa nevana panze. "ko baba varipi ?"
Vana vakapindura vachiti "baba vari mubedroom pamusoro paamai vari kunama paburi patakabuda napo."
Vaenzi nenyadzi vakabva vatora mabhegi avo vachibva vaenda.

VaMasendeke vati Munhu wese!

MASENDEKE akasvika paigeza vakadzi parwizi ndokuti "nhasi ndinokuridzai mese". Akabva atanga nemusikana akanga aripo, ndokutevera pane mumwe, ndokusvika pane muroora. saka pakange pasara kamwe kachembere kane 70 years. saka muroora akbva ati zviri nani modzokororaini pane kuridza ambuya because vakura. kachembere kakabva katanga kupenga kachiti "IWE WAGARA UNE UDYIRE VaMASENDEKE VATI MUNHU WESE! SAKA CHAVE CHIJANA CHANGU!"

ukaiswa shuga mumukanwa...

kwahi panyaya dzeservice idzodzi-idzi vamwe kule-kule vakanga vagarisa saka vakazopindwa nemunyati wekubata kazukurusikana chibharo, time-time yakazoketwa kuti ndiyo yavajingirisa, vachibva vangwatwa ndokukandwa zandezi, zuva recourt rasvika kule-kule vakajamuka vakati mayazi kazukulezi kakadonhera pamunyati, amajasitiriti vachibva vati," ko zvamakaona kadaro makadii kukadzinga?", zvikanzi nakule-kule, "a-ah koiwe ukaiswa sugar mumukanwa haunanzviri?"

Zvituko

1. Kusviba kunenge pasi pejende ra hudhu
2. Kumusha kure kunosvika mai nababa varambana
3.Baba vako vanosenza kwa lobels asi munomwa tee nemagwavha
4.Kusviba kunenge munhu akaputikirwa neusiki
5.Baba mbavha mai hure
6.Kufarira mota kunge imbwa yechirungu
7.Guvhu rinenge bhaudi rendege

Chimuregererai, ndamu bamura musoro

Pane imwe mbavha yakange yaba hembe kumaflats ekumagaga kwa coffe man.  Vanhu vakatanga kuidzingirira, iyo ikati zano, ndokubva yamhanyira kwamukwisi ndokupinda mumvura.vanhu vakatanga kukanda matombo murwizi imomo. Mbavha yakabva yabvisa bhurugwa ndousimudza magaro mudemga. Vamwe blazo vaiva mberi ndokutanga kuimba vachiti: "chimuregererai, ndamu tsemura musoro"

Chinoz Provisional Test

Hanzi chinoz paakaenda kunotora provisional licence yake VID yakati sa MP, aingozo bvunzwa mubvunzo umwe chete.
VID Inspector: Honourable Chinoz, road sign ine mombe inorevei (Cattle crossing)
Chinoz: Ahh izvo chete, inoreva kuti pane pari kugochwa pamberi

Dhongi Rangu

Dzimwe dziblaz manje, somewhere kumamisha-misha ikoko, dzakauya
nedhongi radzo pane chimwe chitoro. Dziblaz idzodzo dzainge dziri
dziya dzekungoshatirwa neboys. Dzikati dzasvika pachitoro nedhongi,
vhadzasungirira dhongi riya pamuti. Dzikavha dzati, 'Eh, vapfanha!
Mukabata dhongi rangu...tinoonana!'
Dzadaro, vhadzati muchitoro dhezu. Dziri imomo, imwe giant ikati
yauya, ikatarisa dhongi riya, vhayatora pendi yewhite, kwaakupenda
dhongi riya rese kuti re. Blaz dziya manj', vhadzabuda mustoro
vhadzaketa kuti dhongi raita by the white, dzikatanga kuthreatena
tuvapfanha dzichiti 'Hey, ndiani wapenda dhongi rangu?'
Giant riya manj', vharasimuka rakabata pendi netini mumaoko,
rikati 'Ndini!' Blaz dziya dzikati 'Ah, ho-o, ndaida kuti muziye kuti
raoma!'

Zimbo in Hollywood

Pane muface akaenda kuStates kuya kunonzi kuHollywood. Saka muface uyu
angaapreswa neweti. Muface akamanya kuchimbuzi ndokubva asvika
akazama kuita open door rikaramba.(occupied)
muface:"knock,knock,knock"
other:munemunhu!!!!


Wanted: New Brain

Hanzi mumwe murume akaenda kwachiremba achirwara and he wanted a new
brain. So he was shown three brains One nyamukoti(doctor) it was
costing $25 000.00 yechi two yaScientist it was $30 000.00 and the
third one yaChinoz and it was $50 000.00 he asked why yaChinoz was
expensive he was told nekuti hadzisati dzashandiswa brain dzacho.

kupinda mu states by ginya

Hanzi there was this own who was trying to gain entry into the US, but zvanga  vakamu pressera. They weren't allowing him to come in. Saka he was really begging for mercy and  finally, they decided to give him a quiz, and if he passed it, he would be allowed in. So, he was asked to use the following three words in a sensible sentence: "green, yellow and pink". Haa-a maface, blazo ndokugara pasi and he started thinking.  
After a while, dzaka jamba coz he thot kuti manje nhasi ndatopinda.Saka he confidently goes like,"The phone goes green greeeen,I pink it up and then grinning I say,..Yeeelllooooww!!!" 


Singular ne ma plurals...

kwai isu takadzidza stereki. pataive kuchikoro taita ma singular ne ma plurals.
kwai ticha akatiudza kuti Tom munhu mumwe uye Thomas vanhu vaviri.

Mazai asina york

Pane wamwe blazo vaichengeta huku dzavo, sheshe(females) nemajongwe. Mazai adzai kandira, vaiatengesa kumusika. Blaz ava vakazongonzwa macustomer openga nekuti mazai akange asisina york. 

Bhudhi ava vakabva vatora bhazuka ravo ndokuriti paa, paa, pachirugwi chehuku. Zvikanzi: "Right, majongwe uku, sheshe uku, chindiudzai kuti ari kushandisa macondom ndiani."

Kabila in Zim - Simon??

Kabila had gone to Zimbabwe and upon arrival he met Bob and Dr Muzenda so Kabila greeted Bob then when he got to muz he said whats your name and Muz said don't you remember me I'm all over the news in America. Then Bill said tell me your name again then Muz said
Simon ,Kabila then recalled and said oh you are Simon chopper Chimbetu

Nandos here, nhai va Muzenda

Every Knows that ZN's symbol is a cockrell so Mze was at The HQ in Harare where there was one of their so called rallies.So when it was Mze's turn to give a speech, he uttered these words:
"HERE WE ARE GATHERED AT NANDOS""

Matova nemvuu?

Chikowore was invited to open a dam in Masvingo. After cutting the
ribbon, he went and stood by the dam. He looked in the water and saw
his reflection. He was heard saying, "hezvo, matova nemvuu kudhara!!!!!"