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Tese tinopenga

Nyambo anga anzwa nekutsvaka basa... Then finally 1 day akawana basa reku driver paMental hospital... His first job was to transport mapenzi 20 from Harare to Bulawayo - Engutsheni.

Mota yacho yanga yakaita kunge dziye dzekuPrison.. Nyambo was told never to open the truck munzira no matter what... So he set off for Bluez.. Akuda kusvika paNorton rimwe benzi rigotanga noise richida recess.. Nyambo ignored but the noise was too much so he decided kurivhurira for a minute..

Mapenzi ese akabuda achimhanya musango.. Hapana kana raakabata.. He was so stressed.. First day pabasa here amana... Zvisineyi, akabva asvika hake muNorton ndokugaya. Akati zano nderipi.. Akabva adeedzera dhora Bulawayo.. Mota haina kumboita 5 minutes yanga yazara..

Nyambo akarova mota straight to Bluez.. Straight to Engutsheni Mental Hospital.. Apa vanhu vanga vakuita noise coz anga adarika ma stop avo.. Achisvika paHospital vanga vakatomumirira. .

Pavakanzwa noise vakabva vati"haa anhasi aya anenge anopenga moto".. Vanhu vaye the more they explained how they got there, ndopavaitonzi maiwee vabayeyi ma injection tozovaona mangwana.

Hauchadyi nguruve

Muporofita akanyudza mutadzi katatu mumvura ndokuti wava chisikwa chitsva kubva nhasi wamupostori,  hauchadya pork”. 

Mupostori mutsva achisvika kumba akanyudza pork mumvura katatu ndokuti kubva nhasi  wachisikwa chitsva wakunzi beef wakudyiwa”

Chinoz mundege

Saka vakanga vari mundege manje mazuva avaifamba pasi pose madiro, mutyairi wendege kwavakuti imwe hinjini yendege yaisisiri kushanda zvakanaka, then muface manje Chinoz kwavakuti, " a-aah zvatirisu vemunyama tichahi burukai musunde".

Ku jaira hu hwindi

Hwindi akatora driver's licence ndokubva apuromotwa kuita dhiraivha wekombi. First week yake yekutyaira  was quite an experiance for him. Mangwanani atakura vanhu kuenda kuSunshine City (Harare) weather kwakwiite change tumashowers kwaakunaye. Driver wekombi kwakumise mota kuti agadziridze ma wipers kuti agonyatsoona nzira.

Paakapedza akadzoka akasvikogara kwaiva nemapasenja. After five minutes akazobvunzwa ne passenger kuti "Hausiwe urikudhiraivha here????"

Chinoz ku movie

Chinoz went ku eastgate achida kuona movie. Saka asvika pamovie house akaona panyorwa kuti NO UNDER 18 ndokubva dzarova speed kuenda kuden. 

Madam vakashama kuona shasha yakurumidza kudzoka ikati regayi ndibvunze.
"Zvaita seiko Baba makurumidza kudzoka". Chinoz akati:
"Ndashayiwa vanhu 17 vekupinda navo mumovie".

Mukanya on Chopper

Kwahi naMukanya, "a-aah ndakanga ndisingazivi kuti kuridza mhururu nemuridzo
kunoitisa mari, uyu mufana Chimbetu avakufamba neBenz".

Unoda kuuraiyisa mhuri yese

Mumwe muface aibva kunorova mbanje achibva awsvika paden ndokuwana gezha yapopa
kubva kurifazi, achibva akena muddenazi ndokubva ati manheru baba maswera sei?,
ngezha ndokudavira, achibva apinda mubedroom make kuti ambonoviga mbanje dzanga
dzasara, adzoka musitting room manga mune ngezha achibva ati manheru maswera
sei?, achibva apfuurira kuenda kukitchen ndokutora sadza rake achibva asvikogara
ndokubva ati manheru maswera sei?, apa ngezha yaiva yamutarisa nepamusoro
penewspaper yayaiverenga, dzichibva dzarova skero, dzapedza ndobva dzanodzosera
maplates kukichini achibva asvikoti manheru baba maswera sei?, apa ngezha haina
kupindura, achibva agara pasofa, kamunin'ina kake kachibva kauya kuseri kwesofa
kachiti vha -aamumu vhaaaamu, yava 20, vhaaaamu yava mu50, kachiramba
kachingodaro kusvika kava mu180, a-aah blaz vembanje vachibva vasimuka
ndokuvhara nembama hanzi iwe inotibheutsa unoda kuuraiyisa mhuri yese.

Asi chii nhai mai mutasa

Ko yakazoitika, VaChisvo vakanyimwa pakati one day nawifers. Vakazama kukumbira madam ikati mayazi ndakaneta. Saka munoketa kana yamira samanyika yamira..so SaChisvo dzikati adzimai woye ini hangu handingazvikuriri onai zvekuita. Mai bhoi ikati no, torai $50 mudzika neraini, handifungi kuti mungashaya wekukwira. Chisvo dzakamhanya after 1hr ndokuzodzoka. Madam ikarova inquiries kobaba mawana here zvamafambira. SaChisvo ikasasa kuti ndazokiya mai vanogara panhamba 5.

Chopazi madam yakabvunza how much the man paid and he had paid yese $50. Zvikanzi namadam asi Mai Mutasa chii nhai, vakuitirai $50 asi vaMutasa ndinosovaitira $20..Asi chii..

kwedu azere aya

Hie guys ko hanzi Kabila, Bob and Bush and Hunzvi were in a plane vachiienda somewhere to discuss nyaya yemaWar Vets yanetsa. Manje hanzi, Kabila kakabva kabuditsa diamond kakakanda nepawhindo. The other two were shocked zvikanzi dont worry we have lots of those in our country. Then Bush akabva katora ma US kakaitawo, hanzi dont worry we have a lot of those in  our country. Bob ndopaakashaya kuti wotiyi nekuti kuZim zvakapressa hakuna iriko.. ndopaakabata kaHunzvi akakakanda panze.. Everybody was shocked,,
hanzi na Bob, dont worry we have a lot of those in our country.

Tazvida angabudirira ku america here va Mapfumo?

Vanzi Vamukanya vakanga vachangobva ku states saka vakabva vamboita interview vachangosvika pa airport:

Reporter: Ko vamapfumo kwanga kwakadii kumhiri kwemakunga kamakanga muri uku
Mapfumo: Ha ndakafarirwa zvekuti mumashows mangu maitozara vanhu vachitotsikidzirana
Reporter: Ko vaTazvida(system) vanga vachida kuzoendawo .Munoonawo vachibudirirawo here?
Mapfomo: Mmmm handifunge kudaro nekuti hakuna mapurazi akawanda

Ndanga ndadya mushonga

Kablaz kaya kekuMalawi kakazoenda kumba kwegero rako rainzi Maggie saka asvika pagate akasangana nababa vaMaggie achibva avakuvabvunza,hanzi ko Maggie aripo? baba vacho vachibva vati kwete, zvikanzi Tete acho aripo, zvikanzi kwete, ko munin'ina acho aripo, dzikati  kwete futi, kachibva kabvunza futi ko amai acho aripo, zvikanzi kwete, kachibva kabata musoro kachijamuka hanzi," manje baba ndanga ndanja mushonga".

baba vako vanofarirei

Teacher : Tiudzei kuti vanababa venyu vanofarirei zvekudya:

Pupil 1 : Vangu vanowanzoda mazondo.
Pupil 2 : Ini vangu vanoda madora.
Pupil 3 : Vangu makenduru.
Teacher : Ah!! Makenduru? Nei
Pupil 3 : Kana vorara manheru ega egavanoti kunaamai chidzima kenduru ndidye.

On what grounds?

Reuben Barwe interviewing Cde Muzenda:

Barwe: "On what grounds do you want to arrest Tsvangson?"

Cde Muze: "I don't care any ground will do, whether it is Rufaro, Barbourfields or National Sports any ground will do."

Wasu mu zamanishoni

Zvanzi wasu dzakanga dzechionyore zama pa Mount Pleasant Upper-top. Mubvunzo kwakootanga ngekuti, 'Compare and contrast...'

Invigilator wakasvika pana Wasu dziripakati pekudzvokora answer sheet reangaari panext padzo.

Invigilator : ko Wasu muri kuitei?
Samaz : ndiri kuCompare.
Invigilator : maCompare mozo dini?
Samaz : ndo adjusta answer yangu

Siya zvinhu zvangu

Kwanzi mumwe mukomana aifamba- famba zvake musango kumusha kwake kuLupane saka akafunga kuti regai ndimbotsauka ndimbochonjomara ndichizvibatsira( aida kuoffloader pasuru), apedza achibva asimuka avakuenda.

Saka ati fambei zvishoma akacheuka achitarisa kwaabva ndokuwana mumwe munhu arikutotora zvaanga asiya ipapo achiisa muplastic bag, mukomana uyu akadzoka achimanya kunge imbwa shanu kuzorwisana nemunhu uya kwanzi siya zvinhu zvangu.

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