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Mwana haasi kuuya kubasa

Kwahi imwe shasha yakanakigwa nedoro ikafunga zvekurovha kubasa, yakabvay ati zvandinekachikwezvamarokwe regai ndifonere bhasi vangu, chinzwai manje nyaya yacho, hasha: 
" I am sorry my son is not coming to work today he's not feeling well", shefu vaya vakabva vabvunza kuti ndiri kutaura nani,zvikanzi: 
"It's my father speaking sir".

Chimukuyu

Pane vamwe amai vataiona mazuva ose, zuva rovira tichibva kuchikoro. Mai ava vaigara vakazambira mushana vakaita zvokushadabura, pakati pemakumbo ava pakannyatsoteya zuva. 

Vakazotsiurwa nemumwewo muvakidzani wavo achiti "Nhai mai Spiwe, mugariro rudziiko iwoyo?" 

Ivo ndokubva vapindura vachiti "AAh zvababa vaSpiwe nhai vanondinetsa vachiti vanoda chimukuyu".

Basa pano

Mumwe mukomana akasvika pane imwe kambani pakanga pakaiswa chikwangwani chakanyorwa kuti Basa Pano, achibva apinda achiti ndazoriwana zvino, akasvika parisopusheni achibva anzi aende kwameneja, akasvikobvunzwa nameneja kuti aida basa rei iye ndokuti, " RR will be fine",  pa aireva kuti rese - rese.

Yango nyarara yega...

Manje mumwe muchinda airima netractor papurazi remurungu. Tractor iye yakabva  yangoerekana yanyarara. 

Murungu akasvika akati " whats wrong?"

Muchinda uye akadavira achiti "just shut up!", apa aida kuti yangonyarara!

Ndofira maBanana

Mumwe muchinda aishanda pafarm yemurungu. One day akatumwa kutemha maBanana. Muchinda uyu akakwira mumuBanana akadonha zvakaipisisa kwazvo. Murungu akabva amhanya zvikuru akawana muchinda uya achiri pasi akangoti zii. 

Murungu akabva ati: "How do you feel?" 
Muchinda uya ndokubva ati: " Ndofira maBanana enyu Bhasi!!!!!!!"

Kurara Pabasa

Vamwe blazo vaiva mahobho/guard vakabatwa vakavata on duty. Pavakanzwa boss ava kuti "Iwe Peter!!!", dzakabva dzati "Amen"

Wasu weku Cresta Engineering

Ana Wasu vakange vakagara pabottle store vachikurukura nyaya dzekumabasa kuHarare. Vekutanga vakati mazuva iwayo vakange vava kushanda kuCresta Jameson. Vechipiri vakati vakanga vachishanda ku Sheraton. Vechitatu vaishanda ku Cresta Lodge Vamwe vaviri vakanga vari Bulawayo Holiday Inn kudhuze neUBH.

Mumwewo mukomana akati akanga achishanda kuCresta Engineering. Akasekwa nevamwe kuita kunge achachema, vaiti ivo kana munhu usingashandi usanyeba. Akambenge anzwa kupi hotel yainzi Cresta Engineering.

Hokoyo mupfana Hokoyo

Mumwe mufana akapinda muchitoro ndokubva aba mabiscuits muradio maiimbwa
song inonzi "maDebhura" by Thomas Mapfumo yainzi "Hokoyo mupfana hokooooyo!".
Iye mfana ndokufunga kuti aonekwa, ndokubva atanga kuimba achiti: "ndadzosera mukoma ndadzoseeeera."

Pane wandirutsira

A young man was going from Harare to Mutare so they had to stop at Rusape
for a few minutes. Yakazo tambika manje ndeyekuti blazi ava vakanga vava
kunnzwa mudhumbu. Problem yakanga iripo ndeyekuti the bus already wanted to
leave so he never had the chance to go to toilet.

Blazi vakabva vafunga kubvisa bhurugwa ndokurova nepahwindo. Pakanga paine
vamwe mai vanga varikutengesa madhomasi, vakabva vaenderwa netsvina iya.

Ambuya vaka bhowekana ndokubva vaenda kuna Conductor. Conductor, Mubazi
menyu umu pane munhu andirutsira ambuya vakataura, Ndokubva Conductor ati
hapana munhu ainge avarutsira mubhazi.

Ambuya vakabva varamba vachiita nharo, kusvikira vazoti vakanga vamuuona
munhu iyeye nokuti akanga akasiyana nevamwe vanhu. Conductor akabva avati
vataure zvaakanga akaita, ndokubva vati ane matama makuru kuru nekamuromo
kadoko doko.

Mzee mu toilet

Our very own vice pres Muzenda went to the Americas for the first time and needed
to relieve himself so he was shown where the loo was.On entering he saw a reflection of himself on the mirror and said "sorry ndanga ndichifunga kuti hamuna munhu".

Matsotsi emu harare anetsa

mwe shasha kuHarare uku yaive nebabes so manje. But babes yakange yakaroorwa time-time, so it happened kuti on one of the days yakabatikidzwa iri muden neHusband yegero, so he had to rush out without his pants and shoes, just the shirt.

Upon getting home, knowing his wife would need an explanation, he cooked one. "..mai bhoi ndarohwa nematsotsi, ndabirwa trousers neboots.." Shasha felt better payakanwza wife
ichiti, 
"...umm veduwe, inga matsosti anetsa muno.., (pause) ..., kubva vapfekedza victim yavo condom?"

Mbavha yechikwama

Mbava yaka tora chikwama chemumwe musekuru weku Malawi. Mbavha yakatanga kumhanya ichitiza sezvo panga pari pachiteshi chemuguta guru. Mbava isati yaenda kure yakaona chikwama chiye chobhururuka chichienda seshiri. Sekuru vanova muridzi wechikwama vakadaidzira vachiti:
"zuva rauchabata shiri iyoyo ndiro rauchafunda kufamba." Mbavha yakatanga kukambaira semucheche.

Ranga rawira kuseri kwe durawall

Amai Jeni vawacha hembe dzavo vaisa padurawall. Pakunotora manheru bhurukwa ravo ranga radonhera panext door kuseri kwedura wall. Ko vanozivei!

Vabva kubasa baba vepanext door vomemawo musha wavo manheru aya. Aa vabva vadhumana nebhurukwa. Vanodana kamwana kavo vobvunza kuti raive raani. " Mai Jeni" mwana anodaira. "Chienda unovapa"

Pakusvika kwamai Jeni kamwana kanosvikoona baba Jeni. " Hanzi nababa bhurukwa ramai Jeni iri..."

Wasu ku mapurisa

Wasu vakanga vari pacourt ndokusangana nahomeboy  kwaakuchiexplaina .Zvikanzi:
"Ndauya kuno nge case ngekuti mwana wakaitwa sex ngebhinya'

Apa vaitaura mudon akange arepewa

Musazvi bigga mahara

Well, there was this guy. Muface uyu akanga ane >>>>> hombe and so everyone mumaraini akanga asingachadi zvektambira mudhuze naye. Izvi zvakaita kuti muface afunge zano rokumbofamba KuMasvingo uko akanga anzwa kuti kune rimwe hure rakanga risanganzwe chinhu kana rabva bubhaudwa. 

 Hure iri raiti rapera kuita sex nemurume raiti tora zvako mari yako nokuti haundigutse. Saka muface akazoti asvika kwaririr Hure rikati shamwari ""don't waste my time, nokuti haungatombo ndigutse." Muface akati okay but ngatingo try. 

Akati ayipinza huro for the first time rikati ranakirwa. Rakati zvino ngariedze kubatira nekumagaro, ndokubata mhepo. Izvi zvakrishamisa ndokutarisa kumashure kuti rione kuti nei, rakanga rabata mhepo, ndoukuona muface akamira 50m away. Rakabva rashokwa, uvhomora, ndokutiza richiti, idzi ndidzo dzinouraya.

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