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Chinoz Provisional Test

Hanzi chinoz paakaenda kunotora provisional licence yake VID yakati sa MP, aingozo bvunzwa mubvunzo umwe chete.
VID Inspector: Honourable Chinoz, road sign ine mombe inorevei (Cattle crossing)
Chinoz: Ahh izvo chete, inoreva kuti pane pari kugochwa pamberi

Dhongi Rangu

Dzimwe dziblaz manje, somewhere kumamisha-misha ikoko, dzakauya
nedhongi radzo pane chimwe chitoro. Dziblaz idzodzo dzainge dziri
dziya dzekungoshatirwa neboys. Dzikati dzasvika pachitoro nedhongi,
vhadzasungirira dhongi riya pamuti. Dzikavha dzati, 'Eh, vapfanha!
Mukabata dhongi rangu...tinoonana!'
Dzadaro, vhadzati muchitoro dhezu. Dziri imomo, imwe giant ikati
yauya, ikatarisa dhongi riya, vhayatora pendi yewhite, kwaakupenda
dhongi riya rese kuti re. Blaz dziya manj', vhadzabuda mustoro
vhadzaketa kuti dhongi raita by the white, dzikatanga kuthreatena
tuvapfanha dzichiti 'Hey, ndiani wapenda dhongi rangu?'
Giant riya manj', vharasimuka rakabata pendi netini mumaoko,
rikati 'Ndini!' Blaz dziya dzikati 'Ah, ho-o, ndaida kuti muziye kuti
raoma!'

Zimbo in Hollywood

Pane muface akaenda kuStates kuya kunonzi kuHollywood. Saka muface uyu
angaapreswa neweti. Muface akamanya kuchimbuzi ndokubva asvika
akazama kuita open door rikaramba.(occupied)
muface:"knock,knock,knock"
other:munemunhu!!!!


Wanted: New Brain

Hanzi mumwe murume akaenda kwachiremba achirwara and he wanted a new
brain. So he was shown three brains One nyamukoti(doctor) it was
costing $25 000.00 yechi two yaScientist it was $30 000.00 and the
third one yaChinoz and it was $50 000.00 he asked why yaChinoz was
expensive he was told nekuti hadzisati dzashandiswa brain dzacho.

kupinda mu states by ginya

Hanzi there was this own who was trying to gain entry into the US, but zvanga  vakamu pressera. They weren't allowing him to come in. Saka he was really begging for mercy and  finally, they decided to give him a quiz, and if he passed it, he would be allowed in. So, he was asked to use the following three words in a sensible sentence: "green, yellow and pink". Haa-a maface, blazo ndokugara pasi and he started thinking.  
After a while, dzaka jamba coz he thot kuti manje nhasi ndatopinda.Saka he confidently goes like,"The phone goes green greeeen,I pink it up and then grinning I say,..Yeeelllooooww!!!" 


Singular ne ma plurals...

kwai isu takadzidza stereki. pataive kuchikoro taita ma singular ne ma plurals.
kwai ticha akatiudza kuti Tom munhu mumwe uye Thomas vanhu vaviri.

Mazai asina york

Pane wamwe blazo vaichengeta huku dzavo, sheshe(females) nemajongwe. Mazai adzai kandira, vaiatengesa kumusika. Blaz ava vakazongonzwa macustomer openga nekuti mazai akange asisina york. 

Bhudhi ava vakabva vatora bhazuka ravo ndokuriti paa, paa, pachirugwi chehuku. Zvikanzi: "Right, majongwe uku, sheshe uku, chindiudzai kuti ari kushandisa macondom ndiani."

Kabila in Zim - Simon??

Kabila had gone to Zimbabwe and upon arrival he met Bob and Dr Muzenda so Kabila greeted Bob then when he got to muz he said whats your name and Muz said don't you remember me I'm all over the news in America. Then Bill said tell me your name again then Muz said
Simon ,Kabila then recalled and said oh you are Simon chopper Chimbetu

Nandos here, nhai va Muzenda

Every Knows that ZN's symbol is a cockrell so Mze was at The HQ in Harare where there was one of their so called rallies.So when it was Mze's turn to give a speech, he uttered these words:
"HERE WE ARE GATHERED AT NANDOS""

Matova nemvuu?

Chikowore was invited to open a dam in Masvingo. After cutting the
ribbon, he went and stood by the dam. He looked in the water and saw
his reflection. He was heard saying, "hezvo, matova nemvuu kudhara!!!!!"

fastest modes of comm?

What are the three fastest modes of communication?
  1. internet
  2. telephone
  3. tell-a-zimbo

Ndomapenzi chaiwo aya

Rimwe benzi rakasangana nerimwe benzi rakanga rakabata chirauro, ndokubva raribvunza kuti "nhai kasi urikuenda kunoraura?". Zvikanzi aiwa ndirikuenda kunoraura. Rakanga rabvunza ndokubva rati "hooo ndangandafunga kuti uri kuenda kuno raura"

Ndadya rofu

It is said that Mze was very happy to meet Bob at a certain meeting achida kumuvhairira.Mze ended up saying i-i Bob nhasi ndadya rofu rese rechingwa. In response Bob said hazvinzi rofu ba asi loaf. Zvikanzi na Muze haiwawo ndikakuti Lobert unofara here ipapo.

Repu kesi

Pane mumwe murume ange abatwa nemhosva yekurepa mukadzi saka mapurisa aka svika kwaari ndokuti "baba mabatwa nemhosva yerape". 
Murume uya akapindura achiti "murikutaura rape ipi yacho?".
"Muri kutaura rap yarap music, kana kuti rape yarape muriwo kana kuti rape yokurepa
mukadzi?".

65% cotton, made in China

Bob: Chionaka Muzee, iwe semutevedzeri wangu ndiwe uchapa speech yekuonekedzena naVaNkomo kuHeroes Acre mangwana, saka please ofanogadzirira zvauchataura.

Muzee:  But shaz wandiisa pa'tight' becoz unongozivawo kuti chirungu chinondivhara zvakaipa, hazvingaite here kuti iwe undinyorere speech yacho ndozoverenga but handisikuda kuti vanhu vaone kuti ndiri kuverenga speech yacho, saka ndopaita sei ipapo?

Bob :Mayaz, iyoyo haishupe unongoisa pepa racho muhat mako, kana tasvika paguva obvisa hat woibata up-side-down kuti uverenge speech yako iri muhat imomo, pakadii apo?

Muzee: Ndoosaka ndichikuda mhani, unofunga mudhara!

NEXT DAY KuHeroes Acre:
Speech iya yanga yaiswa mu hat yadonha but blazo havana kuzviona, changosara muhat i'tag' iya inenge yakanyorwa  detail re hat yacho. Fortunately vanga va'krema' first sentence, and
this is how he goes:
"Mr Nkomo was..... (he looks down into the hat) 65% cotton, 35% Polyester, One size fits all and Do not dry clean. Made in China.
Thank you!!!"

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