Find by tag

Masasi eJanuary Disease

1.Madyiro andakaita nyama paholiday ma1
rega
ndimboita zvematemba nemavhegi.
2.Green bar ka1 mageisha ari kundiitisa rush.
3. Hameno kuti ndakapedzisira kudya
chimodho
riini.
4. Ndaakumboita zvetsoka makombi anyanya
kuchekeresa.
5.Hamheno taste yemargarine iriko mazuva
ano
plain bread itori nani.
6. Ndi4nesewo 2mins mufana wandatuma
anonoka kudzoka.
7. Ndionewo ne US$5 ndakanganwa card zvese
nechitupa paden.

Masasi ekupenga: kubirwa radio

zuro takadhakwa zvekuti radio yatairidza yakabiwa tikaramba takagara tichigaya kuti song yapera

Masasi ekupenga 2016/2017

Problems will never end.
The whole of last year we endured Shona people saying twendi sikhistini. Now this year ndebeles have started. Twenti sebentini😑

Kuno testwa january disease

Kune chipatara chirikutesta january disease ini ndatobvako ndatonzi ndinayo endaiwo muzive pamumire

Masasi ekupenga: 2017

Imagine gore rese mandebele achiti twenti sebentin

Makasiya Jah Prayzah mukada Zhakata

But Mazimbo hamusi bho. Gore rese muchitamba mdara achauya mu ma Party kubhawa mukaidyisa Christmas ne New year but makuvhotera Zhakata sure. Hamuna chakanaka
Ndini wenyu Jah Preza

Mhinduro

Wadiwa Jah Payza

Takavhotera Zhakata nekuda kwekuti wakaramba kubuda pachena kuti mudhara wawaiti achauya ndiani. Next time utaure zita ramudhara wacho.

Vako vana veZimbabwe.

Kufunga doro mu church

Its better kugara mubhawa uchifunga Mwari

Than kugara muChurch uchifunga beer

Ndachipiwawo navaMagaya

Doro raka rambwa nembwa

Unotonzwa munhu achiti andinwe doro, nekuti rakarambwa nembwa.Doro rakanyatsonyorwa kuti "Not for sale to persons under 18".Ndeipi imbwa yawakamboona ichisvitsa 18 yrs dzekuzvarwa saka ingagonwa doro sei iyo iri under age. Rega tihudzase isu Festive season iyi vamwe vakamirira kuti imbwa dzisvitse 18 yrs dzigotanga kunwa.

Zvituko

Rodney Kudzayi Musariri 

- Mese kusviba kunge vanhu vanonhonga mabhonzo  

Ashley Chimbarami 

- Eddy nzeve dzakaramwa musoro.
- Mukamwa mune man`a!

Christine Matambo 
- Kuonda kunge nhunzi irikubva kunozvara
- Vakayi, kusviba zvekuti ukabata mwana anobva arara achifunga kuti kwadoka  
- You are so old zvekuti you have photos of Adam and Eve as your classmates

- Matama anenge pfuko dzehwahwa hwepandari 

- Demba,wakasviba zvekuti ukapfurwa bullet rinodzoka richiti ndashaya munhu 

- Ma lips anenge bumper regonyeti 
- Kumeso kunenge foot print ye dhadha 
- Mudhara wako ndibuilder asi munorara muchamber.


Chanetsa Mukahanana
- Kushata kunge ndowe yatsikwa nebhazi
- Door renyu ndere banana zvikanzi gogogoi, hamuti pindai, munoti "Menyai"
- Kumusha kwenyu kunonaya hwahwa, chibage chinokura chakadhakwa
- Baba vako imonya vanogeza neblanket.

Frank Mungure 

- Tsapfu dziri muhapwa.
- Kushata kunenge chembere yakagarira tsono ichidya malemon.

- Maziziso anenge nhunguru dzisina kuibva

Paddington Dzikamai Phiri 

- Kushata kunenge chigubhu che Mazoe chakatsva! 
- Kushata kunenge chembere yakatarisa kuzuva
- Ndosaka wakareba zvekuti ukagumburwa nhasi unozodonha mangwana 
- Ndosaka wakanyepera ambuya vako kuti corner nechishona inonzi "nzvee"
- Mumba menyu muri two asi unochemera kurara pakati

Erhuardt Muchemwa 

- Matama kunge dumbu redafi.
- Mhino inenge chibhakera chaMike Tyson 


Adelaide Chikuhwa Mukahanana 

- Une mawoko eMargarine asi unofarira kudziya moto

Tawanda Shangwa 
- Ndebvu dzinenge kabroom kakupera!

- Wakanzi uuye ne any old stuff kuchikoro iwe wakuenda naambuya vako!

Faffy Maphosa 

- Unongoti ziguvhu renge mhodzi yekotapeya

Tau Kurebwa 

- Une bhutsu dzeround dzakanyorwa kuti fembera fembera mberi ndokupi

Marshall Tonderai Chisango  
- Mazino anenge mapadza evaroyi

Baynham Tanaka Goredema 

- Mateya anopinda jongwe richitamba chitekete
- Kusviba kunenge pasi pepoto yeroja
- Mhino dzinopinda matatya achitamba codesa 


Vakayi Tawengwa 

- Tsapfu dzine matumbu 
- Kuwonda kunenge huku yakapfeka skin tight

Tawz Pokerhontus 

- Your mama is so fat two cars can park in her shadow 



Varume vachimwa scud

Raimwiwa zvaro doro ari manheru vakagara varume  richitenderera gaba redoro .Rakazoti rotenderera kechi 3  Dube ndobva anzwa asara nechinhu mumuromo ndobva abvisa nechigumwe akatarisa akaona muriwo akarasa ndokunyarara zvake gaba rikatenderera  akamwazve ndokunzwa asara nechimwezve ndokupfira muruoko ndokutarisa  akaona isadza zvikamnetsa akaswedera pedo neshamwari yake ndokuzevezera zvikanzi nhy Moyo doro iri murikurihwa cei zvikanzi naMoyo nenzwi riripasi usataurisa ndini ndarutsira mukati ..

Zvirwere zvepa bonde

Ndakaenda kumusha kwa madam yangu ne mwana wangu musikana in grade 1 Tina. Tasvika my inlaw (ambuya) vakatitambira ndokupinda nesu mumba(an african hut).ndakapihwa stool yekugara. Ambuya ndokutora bonde(rukukwe) kuti Tina agare, "gara hako muzukuru...", vakadaro ambuya vangu, asi Tina akaramba akamira, "Ko chii?", ambuya vakabvunza.
Tina anopindura zvinyoronyoro.."NDOTYA ZVIRWERE ZVEPABONDE"

Usada kundifadza nenhema

Wife: Handichadi hangu, ndakuenda kumba kwedu, Sara hako uchandifunga rimwe zuva, mangwana chaiye ndiri kuenda
Hubby: Handidi munhu anoda kundifadza nenhema.

Tezvara vane mhanza

Ndanyara wena. Ndakagara nababa vemukadzi (tezvara) vane mhanza, kamwana kangu kane 3 years karikuvarova mhanza kachiti: "Iwe sekuru enda kunogerwa zvakanaka buda muno"

Chimbomirai kupa imbwa sadza

Guys ndibatsireiwo ndaenda kwaMbuya vaSta, amai vamai Sta, mudzimai wangu, ndapihwa sadzandiri kudya. 
Zvino ndirikunzwa vachisheedzera vari ku kitchen kuti, 'chimbomirai kupa imbwa chikafu mozo sanganisa nerinenge rasiiwa nababa vaSta'.
Apa ndiri kusvinyanga musuwa wekupedzisira mundiro hamuchina chinhu, ndodini?

Type dzeShamwari

  1. shamwari dzinongokutsvaga kana dzakabroker dzichida chikwereti asi dzisingazodzose
  2. shamwari dzinoti kana dzikakutsvaga wotoziva kuti mangwana une bhabharasi (kunwa chete hapana kuvaka)
  3. shamwari dzinovaka kusvika pakusakupa kana mukana wekuzvifungirawo wega
  4. shamwari dzekuti uchingopedza kumuudza nyaya wotoziva kuti waudza munhu wese (aljazeera network)
  5. shamwari dzekuti ukaziva kuti arikufonerana nemurume/mukadzi wako wotonzwa mudumbu (chihure chisina bhaundhari)
  6. shamwari yekuti unoziva kuti kana munhamo iripo, shamwari chaiyo inodiwa nemunhu wese
  7. shamwari yekuti munenge mungori mucompetition, unototya kutaura kuti wapromotwa
  8. shamwari inonyepa zvekuti heyi
  9. shamwari inongokutsvaga pafacebook ichida kuona kuti uri kuita nezvei
  10. shamwari inongokutsvaga kana zvinhu zvichifamba kuti ivhaire kana zvakapressa mazuva iwayo hauibate