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Tawana nyambo 934

Price controls

Muface akaenda kunoroora he's introducing his delegation... "Ava ndisekuru vangu, uyu mukoma wangu, kwozoita avo vagere apo mupurisa weprice control..

tags: price controls, roora

Mapurisa otandaniswa ne mapositori

Wotoona mapositori achitandanis mapurisa, wotoshaya kuti zviri kumbofamba sei

tags: mapositori, Mapurisa (ZRP), wotoshaya...

Chisikana chidofo dofo

Chimwe chisikana chidofo dofo, changa chakazvipengera  nekunaka, chaka wana 5 out of 100 pasvomhu!! Murairidzi, uyo aiva munhurume, ndokunyora mubhuku kuti  "SEE ME!!" achiti achibatsire. Asi chisikana chiya  chakatofunga hacho zverudo, ndokunyorawo reply  mubhuku imomo chichiti:  "Hapana muuyu unovinga  shiri!!! Iwe huya undione.... Kana uri serious nezvangu!!"

tags: teacher, shiri, muuyu, see me, mudzidzisi, dofo

Mandela, Mondela, Randela

 Mandela square.  Mandela street.  Mandela theatre.  Mandela bridge. Mandela bay.  Mandela day.  Mandela stadium.  Mandela coin.  And  now, introducing Mandela banknote, Mandela condoms coming soon!!  Nxt time when you go to the doctor he'll tel you suffering from Mandela virus.What's next????  Next year the days of the week  will be Mondela, Tuesdela, Wednesdiba, Thursdiba, Fritata , Sartertata, Suninhlahla... South Africa soon to be SouthTataMadiba. Agh f*tsek mahn I'm leaving this country!! How much is a taxi to Zimbabwe?? "10Randela??

tags: mandela, tata, madiba

Ndoita zvandakaita kwaMutare

Pane kamwe kamudhara kakange pamusika weMbare kachida kukwira bhazi kuti kaende kwaMutoko. Pakakatarisa muhomwe kakawana inga chikwama hamuna. Kakabva katanga kudaidzira kachiti "vakomana kana paine munhu atora chikwama changu ngadzorere otherwise ndinozoita zvandakaita kwaMutare. Mbavha yakanga yaba nekutya yakabva yadzorera chikwma ichifunga kuti pane mishonga yemudhara yaizomuvhiringidza. Vakomana vakange varipo vkati mudhara chikwama chako wapihwa chitiudza kuti kwaMutare wakaita sei, zvikanzi ndakabirwamari yebhazi ndikaenda kumusha netsoka.

tags: mbare, mdara, mbavha

Ndiri kutengesawo matemo

Pane mumwe mukadzi aishinhwa kana murume wake aenda kubasa . Aidanana neimwe boyfriend yakanga yakasimba moto chaiwo. Vemanext door vakazotaurira muridzi wemukadzi kuti kana musipo pane rume rinouya kuzorakasha mukadzi wenyu. Nehasha shasha yakati ndichamubata chete .Saka nerimwe zuva yakadzoka kubasa makuseni kuti izoona kuti how far. Akasvikira panext door ndokubva audzwa kuit zimuchinda riya rakange riri mushishi rekuridza mukadzi wake. Akabva akumbira demo ,akasviko vhura door ,asi harina kuvhurika akabva atanga ku noka.  Rume riya rakabva ravhura door richotovhara zipi richichururuka dikita zvakaoma, rikati: "tingakubatsireyi neyi". Shasha nekuona masimbiro emuchinda uyu akabva ati: " sorry for disturbing ndiri kutengesawo demo ". Rume riya ndokuti: "Hatina mari", ndokubva ravhara door .

tags: demo, monya, mukadzi

Buri pa ceiling

Vana nekushereketa vakaboora buri pa ceiling  ravakashandisa pakubuda mumba mavakange vakiirwa. Unfortunately vabereki vava vaive vanhu vapfupi. Vakange vasina mari yekugadzirisa ceiling.  Mai mwana ini ndichakwira pamusoro pako kuti ndikwanise kusvikira paburi iri kuti tiri gadzire. Mai mwana vakabva vamira baba ndokubva vakwira pamapendekete avo kuti vasvikire ceiling.  Vana vakabva vanzi endai munotambira mumba pakabva pasvika vaenzi vakatambirwa nevana panze. "ko baba varipi ?" Vana vakapindura vachiti "baba vari mubedroom pamusoro paamai vari kunama paburi patakabuda napo." Vaenzi nenyadzi vakabva vatora mabhegi avo vachibva vaenda.

tags: ceiling, buri, bhedhuru, vaenzi

VaMasendeke vati Munhu wese!

MASENDEKE akasvika paigeza vakadzi parwizi ndokuti "nhasi ndinokuridzai mese". Akabva atanga nemusikana akanga aripo, ndokutevera pane mumwe, ndokusvika pane muroora. saka pakange pasara kamwe kachembere kane 70 years. saka muroora akbva ati zviri nani modzokororaini pane kuridza ambuya because vakura. kachembere kakabva katanga kupenga kachiti "IWE WAGARA UNE UDYIRE VaMASENDEKE VATI MUNHU WESE! SAKA CHAVE CHIJANA CHANGU!"

tags: adult, masendeke, chembere, kurwizi

ukaiswa shuga mumukanwa...

kwahi panyaya dzeservice idzodzi-idzi vamwe kule-kule vakanga vagarisa saka vakazopindwa nemunyati wekubata kazukurusikana chibharo, time-time yakazoketwa kuti ndiyo yavajingirisa, vachibva vangwatwa ndokukandwa zandezi, zuva recourt rasvika kule-kule vakajamuka vakati mayazi kazukulezi kakadonhera pamunyati, amajasitiriti vachibva vati," ko zvamakaona kadaro makadii kukadzinga?", zvikanzi nakule-kule, "a-ah koiwe ukaiswa sugar mumukanwa haunanzviri?"

tags: kule, shuga, court, adult

Zvituko

1. Kusviba kunenge pasi pejende ra hudhu 2. Kumusha kure kunosvika mai nababa varambana 3.Baba vako vanosenza kwa lobels asi munomwa tee nemagwavha 4.Kusviba kunenge munhu akaputikirwa neusiki 5.Baba mbavha mai hure 6.Kufarira mota kunge imbwa yechirungu 7.Guvhu rinenge bhaudi rendege

tags: adult, mbavha, zvituko, kusviba

Chimuregererai, ndamu bamura musoro

Pane imwe mbavha yakange yaba hembe kumaflats ekumagaga kwa coffe man.  Vanhu vakatanga kuidzingirira, iyo ikati zano, ndokubva yamhanyira kwamukwisi ndokupinda mumvura.vanhu vakatanga kukanda matombo murwizi imomo. Mbavha yakabva yabvisa bhurugwa ndousimudza magaro mudemga. Vamwe blazo vaiva mberi ndokutanga kuimba vachiti: "chimuregererai, ndamu tsemura musoro"

tags: kumaflats, mkuvisi, rwizi, mbavha

Chinoz Provisional Test

Hanzi chinoz paakaenda kunotora provisional licence yake VID yakati sa MP, aingozo bvunzwa mubvunzo umwe chete. VID Inspector: Honourable Chinoz, road sign ine mombe inorevei (Cattle crossing) Chinoz: Ahh izvo chete, inoreva kuti pane pari kugochwa pamberi

tags: gochi gochi, vid, licence, drivers licence, chinoz

Dhongi Rangu

Dzimwe dziblaz manje, somewhere kumamisha-misha ikoko, dzakauya nedhongi radzo pane chimwe chitoro. Dziblaz idzodzo dzainge dziri dziya dzekungoshatirwa neboys. Dzikati dzasvika pachitoro nedhongi, vhadzasungirira dhongi riya pamuti. Dzikavha dzati, 'Eh, vapfanha! Mukabata dhongi rangu...tinoonana!' Dzadaro, vhadzati muchitoro dhezu. Dziri imomo, imwe giant ikati yauya, ikatarisa dhongi riya, vhayatora pendi yewhite, kwaakupenda dhongi riya rese kuti re. Blaz dziya manj', vhadzabuda mustoro vhadzaketa kuti dhongi raita by the white, dzikatanga kuthreatena tuvapfanha dzichiti 'Hey, ndiani wapenda dhongi rangu?' Giant riya manj', vharasimuka rakabata pendi netini mumaoko, rikati 'Ndini!' Blaz dziya dzikati 'Ah, ho-o, ndaida kuti muziye kuti raoma!'

tags: dhongi, monya

Zimbo in Hollywood

Pane muface akaenda kuStates kuya kunonzi kuHollywood. Saka muface uyu angaapreswa neweti. Muface akamanya kuchimbuzi ndokubva asvika akazama kuita open door rikaramba.(occupied) muface:"knock,knock,knock" other:munemunhu!!!!

tags: hollywood, toilet, gents, varume, zimbo

Wanted: New Brain

Hanzi mumwe murume akaenda kwachiremba achirwara and he wanted a new brain. So he was shown three brains One nyamukoti(doctor) it was costing $25 000.00 yechi two yaScientist it was $30 000.00 and the third one yaChinoz and it was $50 000.00 he asked why yaChinoz was expensive he was told nekuti hadzisati dzashandiswa brain dzacho.

tags: chinoz

kupinda mu states by ginya

Hanzi there was this own who was trying to gain entry into the US, but zvanga  vakamu pressera. They weren't allowing him to come in. Saka he was really begging for mercy and  finally, they decided to give him a quiz, and if he passed it, he would be allowed in. So, he was asked to use the following three words in a sensible sentence: "green, yellow and pink". Haa-a maface, blazo ndokugara pasi and he started thinking.   After  a while, dzaka jamba coz he thot kuti manje nhasi ndatopinda.Saka he  confidently goes like,"The phone goes green greeeen,I pink it up and  then grinning I say,..Yeeelllooooww!!!" 

tags: visa, states, ginya, dofo

Singular ne ma plurals...

kwai isu takadzidza stereki. pataive kuchikoro taita ma singular ne ma plurals. kwai ticha akatiudza kuti Tom munhu mumwe uye Thomas vanhu vaviri.

tags: dofo, mudzidzisi, chikoro

Mazai asina york

Pane wamwe blazo vaichengeta huku dzavo, sheshe(females) nemajongwe. Mazai adzai kandira, vaiatengesa kumusika. Blaz ava vakazongonzwa macustomer openga nekuti mazai akange asisina york.  Bhudhi ava vakabva vatora bhazuka ravo ndokuriti paa, paa, pachirugwi chehuku. Zvikanzi: "Right, majongwe uku, sheshe uku, chindiudzai kuti ari kushandisa macondom ndiani."

tags: huku, sheshe, jongwe, condom, mazai

Kabila in Zim - Simon??

Kabila had gone to Zimbabwe and upon arrival he met Bob and Dr Muzenda so Kabila greeted Bob then when he got to muz he said whats your name and Muz said don't you remember me I'm all over the news in America. Then Bill said tell me your name again then Muz said Simon ,Kabila then recalled and said oh you are Simon chopper Chimbetu

tags: simon chopper chimbetu, kabila, muzenda

Nandos here, nhai va Muzenda

Every Knows that ZN's symbol is a cockrell so Mze was at The HQ in Harare where there was one of their so called rallies.So when it was Mze's turn to give a speech, he uttered these words: "HERE WE ARE GATHERED AT NANDOS""

tags: muzenda, nandos, jongwe

Matova nemvuu?

Chikowore was invited to open a dam in Masvingo. After cutting the ribbon, he went and stood by the dam. He looked in the water and saw his reflection. He was heard saying, "hezvo, matova nemvuu kudhara!!!!!"

tags: chikowore, dam

fastest modes of comm?

What are the three fastest modes of communication? internet telephone tell-a-zimbo

tags: internet, zimbo, phone

Ndomapenzi chaiwo aya

Rimwe benzi rakasangana nerimwe benzi rakanga rakabata chirauro, ndokubva raribvunza kuti "nhai kasi urikuenda kunoraura?". Zvikanzi aiwa ndirikuenda kunoraura. Rakanga rabvunza ndokubva rati "hooo ndangandafunga kuti uri kuenda kuno raura"

tags: benzi, kuraura, mupengo

Ndadya rofu

It is said that Mze was very happy to meet Bob at a certain meeting achida kumuvhairira.Mze ended up saying i-i Bob nhasi ndadya rofu rese rechingwa. In response Bob said hazvinzi rofu ba asi loaf. Zvikanzi na Muze haiwawo ndikakuti Lobert unofara here ipapo.

tags: chingwa, muzenda

Repu kesi

Pane mumwe murume ange abatwa nemhosva yekurepa mukadzi saka mapurisa aka svika kwaari ndokuti "baba mabatwa nemhosva yerape".  Murume uya akapindura achiti "murikutaura rape ipi yacho?". "Muri kutaura rap yarap music, kana kuti rape yarape muriwo kana kuti rape yokurepa mukadzi?".

tags: tsotsi, Mapurisa (ZRP)

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