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Kablazo kaka birwa watch mu bhazi

Hanzi kamwe kablazo kanga kakaonda moto kakabirwa watch yako pa'pressure' yekukwira mubhazi. Kakwira mubhazi kakamira padoor ndokudaidzira kachiti, "aba watch yangu ngaadzose kana kuti ndokurovai mose." 

Hapana akadaira saka kakabva katanga kurova munhu wese anga ari mubhazi umu mambama. Kakasvika panerimwe zi-giant rakanga ririmonya moto, ndokuriti mbama, mbama. Giant
rakasimuka ndokudaidzira kunadriver kuit amise bhazi. Vanhu vakatanga kuombera
maoko vachidaidzira kuti nhasi kablazo kavekuzosotwa.

Giant rakabva ramira padoor rebhazi rakamisa mamhasuru richidaidzira richiti , "Kana pane  aba watch yemuchinda uyu ngaamudzosere vanhuwe, mungatikuvadzise."

Mari yaWasu yaramba kukwana

Kwanzi samanyika vakabve kumusha vechiende Harare. Asvike Harareyo akakwira katekisi ka R2 kuchozoenda kuMbare manje. Ati fambei samanyika akati kuna driver.

Ko yaa marii , iye akati 12 dollars . paakadaro ango ochindosvika parobhoti , robhoti richibva
rachinjokuita red manje. Saka driver akamisa motika achibva aisa mota mugiya ( giya rinoitwa zvekukakata riye)apa samanyika vachingoona. 

Samanyika vakati 'Iyavozve Musharukwa unozvomore ndonga kuti ndarambokubhadhara here, inga wani ndangubvunzokuti ndiziye badzi?'

Wasu va chidya mari

Vakomana paweekend takadye mari, takabve muHarare ndokusvika paMarondera kwakuspende fifte, kwakusvika paHeadleands kwakuspende fifte futi, tichibva tamboite rest paChristmas pass kwakuspende fifte, tasvika maMutare kuti tiproceede kuende bocha kwakuspende fifte, tichangobude maMutare kwakumire pane imwe township kwakuspende fifte fiuti, tikati arume ngatimbocalculator finance yataspenda wanike iya!!!, inga tadya mari total expenditure yanga iri $2,50.

Pane wandirutsira

A young man was going from Harare to Mutare so they had to stop at Rusape
for a few minutes. Yakazo tambika manje ndeyekuti blazi ava vakanga vava
kunnzwa mudhumbu. Problem yakanga iripo ndeyekuti the bus already wanted to
leave so he never had the chance to go to toilet.

Blazi vakabva vafunga kubvisa bhurugwa ndokurova nepahwindo. Pakanga paine
vamwe mai vanga varikutengesa madhomasi, vakabva vaenderwa netsvina iya.

Ambuya vaka bhowekana ndokubva vaenda kuna Conductor. Conductor, Mubazi
menyu umu pane munhu andirutsira ambuya vakataura, Ndokubva Conductor ati
hapana munhu ainge avarutsira mubhazi.

Ambuya vakabva varamba vachiita nharo, kusvikira vazoti vakanga vamuuona
munhu iyeye nokuti akanga akasiyana nevamwe vanhu. Conductor akabva avati
vataure zvaakanga akaita, ndokubva vati ane matama makuru kuru nekamuromo
kadoko doko.

Mbuva yapa Kadoma

Makange muri mubhazi reku Bulawayo, muine mumwe mupfanha. Saka akaudza  conductor kuti azomumutsa kana asvika muKadoma, semunhu  aingokotsira-kotsira. 

Vava paNorton, mupfanha uya akamuka achibva  ati  kuna  Conductor, "Tasvika here muKadoma". Zvikanzi naConductor, "Iwe  mupfanha ndazvinzwa kudhara ndichakumutsa." 

Vasvika paSelouse mupfanha uye achibva  √§muka akabvunza futi kuti vakange vasvika muKadoma here. Conductor akamuti "Iwe mupfanha ndakuudza kuti ndichakumutsa, pfutseke mhani." Vava  paChegutu achibva amuka futi achibvunza kana vasvika muKadoma. Conductor  akamushaudha futi. Mupfanha uya achibva akotsira hake. Saka bhazi
  rakazopfuura muKwekwe, nemuGweru mupfanha uya akakotsira chete.  

Vava  pakati peGweru ne Bulawayo mumwewo munhu akabva ati, "Ah,  komupfanha  weMuKadoma azoburuka here patasvika muKadoma" Ndipo pavakaona  mupfanha  uya achirimo." Saka Conductor naDriver vakange vaakuda kuti mupfanha  uya  aburuke ipapo vanhu vakacomplainer vachida kuti Bhazi ridzokere kusvika kuKadoma kuye. Saka bhazi rakadzokera kuKadoma. 

Vasvika muKadoma muya,  zvikanzi na Conductor, "Mupfanha chiburuka" Zvikanzi nemupfanha  uya,  "Aiwa, ndiri kuenda kuBulawayo, ticket rangu ndere kuBulawayo. Ndanga  ndanzi naamai kana ndasvika muKadoma ndochizodya huku yavanga  vandigadzirira"

Musalala ku back seat

 Kamwe kamusalala kachimoko kakakwira kombi kachienda kuMabvuku. Kanga kaka pfeka bhandana haikona, kaspaghetti nehipster. Kainhuwirira uku cellars yemari iri mumaoko waona. Maface aingokaaya imwe iya iya yechiboyz.  Kakagara kuback seat kachirova zvako pitza. These 2 guys vakatanga kukati ndeipiko geriza. Unonzani? Ende unoita manje. Hakana kupindura kaingo tarisa vanhu vese mukombi kachiita kunga kari kuona matuzvi Vakaramba  vachingokanetsa kachingoignorewa. Whindi ndiye akazoti, "chiiko kuback seat chanetsa?? Boyz dzakasheedzera kuti, " SHAZ KAMUSALALA AKA
KASURA WAONA,  MANJE KARI KURAMBA KUTIVHURIRAWO WINDOW...."

Marketing in Shona

Mumwe murume akapinda mubhazi achi tengesa zvinhu achibva atanga kushevedzera:
Vana sisi vakaboorwaaa........
Vana sisi  vakaboorwaaaa...................................mhete dziri pano idzi.

Ko vana amai moenda musina mabhurukwa here..........
moenda musina mabhurukwa here...................................mabhurukwa evana ari pano aya 

Ko vana baba moenda dzakamira  here.............................
moenda dzakamira here............................mabattery ewatch ari pano aya.

Ndiyani aisa wivhi mu bhegi mangu

Bofu rakagara mubhazi ndokubva ragara paseat rikaisa mwana waro pamakumbo,bag paseat saka mubhazi makapinda chidhakwa ndokubva chabvisa bag chikagara ndokubatwa nehope. Bofu pane zvarakanga roda kutora mubag rikatsvangadzira ndobva ravhura zipi yebhurugwa rechidhakwa rikapinza ruoko. Rikatanga kupopota ndiani aisa mabanana, matomatoes ne wivhi mubag mangu.

Mwari vano davira minamato

Pengai kubva ari mudiki aiita munamato kuna Mwari:

 'Ishe wangu ndikakura ndichada kugara ndiri mumota hombe, ndichifamba nevakadzi vakawanda vakachena ini ndiine zibag rakazara mari.

Mwari haana kumurasisa. Akanzwa minamato yake. Izvozvi ndi conductor mubhazi ra Munhenzva.

Kachiri kadiki

Conductor: Eeh ambuya mwana ane 3yrs anobhadhara muno mukombi, wenyu anemangani uyo?
Ambuya: Ane 36months.
Conductor: haa ok kachiri kadiki

Todii kana tichisina rand ne dhora

Mazvinzwa here zvaitika muZimbabwe? Manga muine musangano wemari pakati pavaMugabe;Zuma naObama,saka vatadza kuwirirana Obama abva atora madollars ake akaenda.vaZuma vakatora marands avo vakaenda.
Saka muno hamusisina mari zvino bhazi ravakuita mombe kubva kuHarare kuenda kuBulawayo chenji imbudzi; kubva Harare kuenda Masvingo idhongi,chenji imbwa. 
Mutare kuenda Harare imbudzi, chenji ihuku. Kubva Harare kuenda nyamapanda 50kg yemanyowa. Makombi local shiri kuenda shiri kudzoka kana mbeva mbeva

Mwanasikana - Mubvunzo kuvabereki

Mwanasikana oramba kuperekedzwa kundokwira bhazi rechikoro oenda kubhazi ega. Manheru acho monzwa kt bhazi rakabheuka rikauraya vana vese. Pamunoti regai tonotora chitunha chemwana, motomuona achiuya, oti handina kuzoenda ndarara kuboyfreind yangu !! 
Munotenda Mwari here kana kuti boyfriend yake kana kuti modii?

Wasu wabatwe nge confusion

Wasu aibva kwamtre ari mubhazi, inini ndakagara kuwindow wasu vari nechekupassage vakabata zinhanga mumaoko. Bhazi rati fambei fambei wasu hope dzakabata vachipota vachida kudonha ini ndokunzwa tsitsi ndokuvati huyai mugare nechekuwindow ndokubatirai nhanga renyu. Takachinjana asi handina kuziva kuti zvataiita izvi wasu vanga vari kuhope vaingobvuma. Patakazoti tave muRuwa wasu ndipo pavakazoti pepu vakaona vakagara kuwindow ini ndakabata nhanga zvikavanetsa,inzwa mubvunzo wavazondibvunza.
WASU: Excuse me amuna wee, ndavisitirwa ngeconfusion ndingabvunzawo ere?. 
ININI: Bvunzai zvenyu.
WASU: Handisi kuziwa kuti imwimwi ndimwi inini ere kana kuti inini ndini imwimwi?

Uniform yemapurisa - From Hero to Zero

From Hero to Zero. Uniform iya yaimbokwirisa mabhazi mahara, kuHarare yave kurovesa. 

Chinoz - kurasisa Satan

Pastor asked Chinoz to pray for youths travelling
from Harare to Masvingo for a conference. Iye ndokuti, "Baba
tinokukumbirai kuti mutungamirire vana
pavachapfuura nemu Bindura, Chinhoyi
Kusvika Kariba........... *** Pastor interupts*** Ko yava nzira ipi
iyi nhai VaChinotimba? He said, "Ndiri kurasisa Satan. Paachaenda kwese ikoko vana vanenge vasvika kuMasvingo zvakanaka."

Ruzha ku garage rekwa Mhunga

"Ndati ndichipfura nepa garage rekwa "Mhunga" ndanzwa pachifiwa nekuridzwa muridzo ndikati regai nditsauke ndinzwe kuti chii chikutora nzvimbo ndabvunza security guard kuti chii chikuitika zvikanzi  pane interview yemahwindi!