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Jarzin - chinosumudza musoro chashatirwa

Mr Jarzin vakabvunza vamwe ambuya mubvuzo....zvikanzi amai for $ 50.00 chii chinoti kana chashatirwa chinosimudza musoro...ambuya vakati ndinonyara mukwasha ....aaaa ambuya munganyare mari here. vakazoti imbo#@ mukwasha

Pane wandirutsira

A young man was going from Harare to Mutare so they had to stop at Rusape
for a few minutes. Yakazo tambika manje ndeyekuti blazi ava vakanga vava
kunnzwa mudhumbu. Problem yakanga iripo ndeyekuti the bus already wanted to
leave so he never had the chance to go to toilet.

Blazi vakabva vafunga kubvisa bhurugwa ndokurova nepahwindo. Pakanga paine
vamwe mai vanga varikutengesa madhomasi, vakabva vaenderwa netsvina iya.

Ambuya vaka bhowekana ndokubva vaenda kuna Conductor. Conductor, Mubazi
menyu umu pane munhu andirutsira ambuya vakataura, Ndokubva Conductor ati
hapana munhu ainge avarutsira mubhazi.

Ambuya vakabva varamba vachiita nharo, kusvikira vazoti vakanga vamuuona
munhu iyeye nokuti akanga akasiyana nevamwe vanhu. Conductor akabva avati
vataure zvaakanga akaita, ndokubva vati ane matama makuru kuru nekamuromo
kadoko doko.

Anotonakirwa zvake Chipo

Paiva nemumwe mu face akaenda kumusha nechimoko chake kunoona ambuya. Muface uyu aiva nemuzvambu weblambi.Saka rimwe zuva akati achigeza muchinji house blambi ikapoya nepauswa ichienda panze apa tezvara vaiuyawo kuzomama vasiri kuketa kuti mukwasha ari kuvita ndokubva vastepa pablambi .Mukwasha akaridza mhere ,ndokubva tezvara vaketa sichazi ndokurova pasi vakananga kunamaChipo ndokusvikoti maChipo mwana akarooriwa zvake asi ari munhamo .Zvikanzi namaChipo nhamo yekupi ,anotonakirwa zvake Chipo.

Amai vafa

Rimwe zuva murume akadzoka kubasa achifemereka. akaona mukadzi vake achakarara ndokusvikoti " mai mwana amai vafa kumusha." Mukadzi haana kuita hanya nazvo, ndokumuka hake, kutsvaira mumba, kwave kuzoenda
kosaloon kunogadzitwa musoro. Apedza akatenga macabbage  2, loaf rechingwa,paketi yesugar kwave kuisa mupepaper bag. Akadzoka kumba ndokubika sadza vakadya ndokuzoti kumureme ndapedza kugadzirira ngatichiendai. Vakapinda mumotor ngokufamba. 

Chakazoshamisa mukadzi ndechekuti
akaona motor yakananga kumusha kwake iye ndokubvunza kuti "ko iwe amai vafa ndevapi?" zvikanzi nemurume ndimai vako iwe. Mukadzi akashamba akati asi une utsinye vadii kundiudza kare kuti ndevangu. Ndingadai ndisina kupedza mari pa make up uye ndatenga zvinhu zvakavanda. saka chitodzosa motor tidzokere kumbare ndinotenga zvimwe.

Muface wekudya mabhanzi mu kombi

Mumwe muface akapinda mukombi ane maBuns 30 akabva adya 29 kukasara 1 ambhuya vanga vakagara paside pake vakati kumface "ko mkwasha madii mango pedzisa 1 rasara?" zvikanzi nemface neinzwi riri pamusoro "ndinodya maBuns 30 ndinopenga here?

Kombi imarii?

Vamwe ambuya vakamira pabus stop varikuda kuenda kutown kombi ndobva yamira 
hwindi: Town town town
ambuya: Kombi yenyu imarii nhai mukwasha
hwindi: ambuya kombi haisi kutengeswa iyi irikuenda kutown.
ambuya: ndati irikuita marii
hwindi: haisi kutengeswa mhani, driver rova mota tiende.

Chiyi chadonha?

mkwasha akaenda kwa ambuya vake ndokunzi naambuya mkwasha maita mauya sungirirai satelite dish, mkwasha nekunyara kuti haagone akakwira pamsoro pemba pasina nguva ambuya vakanzwa pasi kurira zvine mutsindo, ambuya vakabvunza mkwasha kuti chii chadonha, mkwasha akati ihovhorosi zvikanzi na ambuya ine mutsindo kudaro, mkwasha akati ndiri mukati mayo.

Nhamo yemuroora

Nhamo yemuroora:

Aite mudiki - Haa kakanyanya kuita kadiki, kachamuhurira

Akure - Mukadzi uyu mukuru achamutonga.

Anyarare - Mukadzi waGoddie akati kwindi.

Ataure - Akachenjeresa pamuromo pake hapamharwe nenhunzi.

Awonde - Mukati Goddie haana kutitorera murwere imi? 

Asimbe - Ringatadze nei kufuta richiswera rakangoti pweshe? 

Agare natete - Akatorera mwana wangu Angela kuti amuite musikana webasa.

Arambe kugara natete  - Haridi vanhu kumba kwaro kunge ndiro rinoshanda.

Abikire muenzi tea - Asi anopenga nhai imi? Tea, isu taswera nayo kudai?

Abike riri sadza - Zvakaoma asikana, munhu wandanyatsoudza kuti ndamukira bhazi? Ari kuti tea ndainwira kupi?

Abvunze kuti ndokubikirai chii?  - Kunyima ka uku, mweni anobvunzwa?

Atumire vana kumusha - Ho, isu tisu tisina zvekuita, atumira vana kuti iye asare achibatei?

Arege kutumira vana - Ah, anomboda kuti vana vake vauye kuno? Pamwe zvinonzi tingazovaroya.

Agare mazuva mashoma kumusha - Maiwe kanomboda zveruzevha? Nungo dzega dzega

Agarise kumusha - Anotozoenda ameka shuwa kuti tushuga twaakauya natwo twapera.

Atambe chiramu nababamunini - Matambiro ake naSydney ndeechihure. Achatibatira mwana takatarisa. 

Arambe kutamba chiramu - Mukati haana zisekuru rakamugara? Munhu asingadi kana kugumwa nemuramu wake?

Atumire grocery - Anoziva sei zvandisina? Adii kutumira iri mari ndatenga ndega?

Atumire iri mari  - Shuwa munhu anonyatsoziva kuti kuno zvinhu zvinodhura asi ndopaanotumira mari, adii kutenga ikoko otumira riri grocery?

Ashaure panhamo - Aiwa kuvhengezera tinokuziva isu, apa kuimba kwacho haakugone.

Anyarare panhamo - Iii, makaonawo makwindimariro aainge akaita parufu rwasekuru Agripa akati dzvondo kutarisa chitunha?

Auye kuzobikawo doro nevamwe kumusha  - Zvakaoma munhu wechurch anosanganisa

Arege kuuya - Haadi kubatirana nevamwe.

Aite tsika - Ummm mukati haana kumbenge akaroorwa kumwe iyeye? Zvese izvi anozvizivira kupi?

Arege kuita tsika - Haana kana kurairwa.

mukaka wakanzi Handy andy

Dear Mukuwasha,

Ndanga ndichiti ndikuzivise kuti grocery ndakariwona asi ndokumbira kuti next tym musanditengerewo mukaka wakanzi Handy andy unoitisa manyoka.

Warumwa nei nhai muroora?

Muroora : maiweeeeeee ndarumwa
Vamwene : nei?
Muroora : handina kuchi idhendifaya kuti chii!
Vamwene : (vachiridza mhere) maiweee mroora wangu arumwa nechidhendifaya!!!!

Vahozi pa barika

Husband brings second wife home to 1st wife.. Introduces her and 1st wife prepares food for them. After eating the happy 1st wife takes second fiddle for tour of their homestead. Vasvika padanga maiguru explains.
"Mainini ndo mombe dzedu idzi 100, dzenyu 50 dzangu 50".. mainini was shocked. They go padanga rembudzi.. "dzenyu 15 dzangu 15".. Vanotenderera and mainini is all smiles coz this woman is so understanding and amazing..
Then vanosvika pamakuva emumusha and there are 4 graves there and maiguru explains. "This first one is for amwene.. She was talkative, kuda kuonesa maningi.." "Pa5 days chete ndaroorwa havana kunditorera 5mins changa chava chando..".. 
And this second one kkkk kababamunini kakati ndarara nako kakuda kuudza mukoma wako." Mangwana acho chaiwo kakarova pasi." Kikiki.. 
"Iri rechitatu iye murume wedu uyu kundivigira mumwe mukadzi, kana ndimiwo.." Ndakangomutambira sanhasi uyu haana kundinetsa kuuraya mangwana acho chaiwo.." 
This fourth .........
Gules havana kuzombopedzisa, mainini vanga vakuSprinter kudzokera kumba, kutora handbag ravo.. Havana kuzomboonekwa futi!!!!

Kachiri kadiki

Conductor: Eeh ambuya mwana ane 3yrs anobhadhara muno mukombi, wenyu anemangani uyo?
Ambuya: Ane 36months.
Conductor: haa ok kachiri kadiki

Ambuya neMuroora pa introduction

Husb:mummy uyu ndiye muroora wenyu mudzimai wangu wandavekugaranaye.
Mummy:ndafara nekuzviziva.
Husb:Sweetheart ava ndivo moms vangu vaunongogara uchiti mwana weHure mwana weHure.ndiro Hure racho.kkkkkk uriwe muroora unoitasei

mukwasha asina chinhu

There was this mukwasha who was so poor aiti akaenda kwa ambuya nevamwe vakwasha kana nyama aingopiwa a bit vakwasha vanemari vachidya hobho. One day vakaenda as usual and he was given almost huku yose and was very happy kuti pamwe they discovered kuti he was the best. After eating akatenda nemoyo wese ambuya zvikanzi ......."Muchitendeiko Huku yacho yakafa yoga Saka ndaona kuti vamwe havangadyi zvakafa zvega"

Roora repa whatsapp

With the advancement of technology things are going to change. Very soon there will be no need for people to gather kana munhu achiroorwa. Simply create a group on WhatsApp " Kuroorwa kwaChipo" Admin Tezvara and Munyayi. Pachingo rohwa ma Ecocash transactions. Matekenyandebvu $100. Mukwasha typing...... yawandisa ndine $10. Tezvara typing.......kkkkkkkk ita serious. Ambhuya varamwa. Ambhuya Left.....

Bond Notes - kukumbira mari

Yedu yekukumbira Mari pagroup re family iyi, nhasi ndati kunamai vaMadam vangu Mhamha ndokumbirawo  'bond' foni yangu yabva yanyora 'bonde' vanhu vese vari kupopota. Ndabva ndabudiswa mugroup.

Chimbomirai kupa imbwa sadza

Guys ndibatsireiwo ndaenda kwaMbuya vaSta, amai vamai Sta, mudzimai wangu, ndapihwa sadzandiri kudya. 
Zvino ndirikunzwa vachisheedzera vari ku kitchen kuti, 'chimbomirai kupa imbwa chikafu mozo sanganisa nerinenge rasiiwa nababa vaSta'.
Apa ndiri kusvinyanga musuwa wekupedzisira mundiro hamuchina chinhu, ndodini?

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