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Matsotsi emu harare anetsa

mwe shasha kuHarare uku yaive nebabes so manje. But babes yakange yakaroorwa time-time, so it happened kuti on one of the days yakabatikidzwa iri muden neHusband yegero, so he had to rush out without his pants and shoes, just the shirt.

Upon getting home, knowing his wife would need an explanation, he cooked one. "..mai bhoi ndarohwa nematsotsi, ndabirwa trousers neboots.." Shasha felt better payakanwza wife
ichiti, 
"...umm veduwe, inga matsosti anetsa muno.., (pause) ..., kubva vapfekedza victim yavo condom?"

tione number yawafona...

mumwe murume akakwira kombi ndokuda kuona pfungwa dzevarume vaivemo kwakudialer 3 digits ndokunyepedzera kufona hanzi 
"sorry babes handichakwanisa kuuya ndakwira kombi nemrume wako",

 kkkkkkkkkkk hanzi varume vakavava zvikanzi tione number yawafona 

mukadzi wangu uchaita sei ndafa?

Murume:ko kana ndikafa unoita sei?
Mukadzi: Ndoroorwa nemumwe murume
Murume:ko pfuma yangu unoita sei nayo?
Mukadzi:ndodya nemurume anenge andiroora
nekuti anenge achitichengeta nevana
Murume:Ko suit nehembe dzangu unodii nadzo
Mukadzi:Ndodzitengesa
Murume:nemhaka yei?
Mukadz:nekuti mupfupi haadzikwane.

mhuka inomanya chaizvo

Kamwe kamwana kaka bvunzwa na teacher kuti: "ndeipi mhuka inomhanya chaizvo?" 
Kaka davira kachiti: "CHIKOMBA. Daddy vangu vakatadza kuchibata nezuro vasvika chakarara pamubhedha ende chine muswe kumberi"

Chihure

Umwe mface akuudzwa kuti kana achinge aenda kubasa mukadzi wake anoisa chikomba paden. Rimwe zuva akati ndoda kumbozvionera ndobva audza mkadzi kuti ndichamboenda kubasa ndichaita vhiki ndisati ndauya. 
Akava aenda, mkadzi ndokufonera chikomba zvikanzi "baby huya zvako tine party yeweek rose!" 
Muchinda haana kunonoka ndobva asvika ndokupinda muroom rakaipa, bedroom, ndokuita 4play vachingopedza kukurura ndokunzwa ko..ko..ko..ko pa door.
Muukadzi: "ndiani "
Murume: "ndini baba aTawanda vhura door"
Lucky imba yacho ndidzo dziya dzekumaruva dzechikare dzinoti pasi bedroom pamusoro pocroswa matanda panoiswa zviyo &then roof pekupedzisira. Mukadzi akafunga zano chop chop zvikanzi, iwe kwira pamusoro apo uvate ipapo tozoona zvimwe zvekuita. 
Sezvo pakange pasisina zviyo zvakaita easy ndobva chikomba charara chakatarisa pasi semunhu aitya. Muridzi wemba ndokupinda. Semunhu ange achinzwa zvese, akarara pabed akatarisa mudenga. 
Saka jende rechikomba rakabudira muroom repazasi mkadzi ndiye akatanga kuriona ndobva adzima light murume zvikanzi batidza light pane chandisina kuona mushe..'ko icho chiiko mai T'. 
Mukadzi: "ibhero ndatengera manzuma iya yekushupa ndizvozvo chete ndidzime zvangu" 
Murume: "mira ndoda kunzwa kuti rinorira sei" achitora nduku ndobva ari buuu kurova zvikanzi "ngendeee".." inga rinorira zvinofadza rega ndidzokorore zvakare" achibva abata nemaoko ese kwaku rova ngesimba zvikanzi."ndati ngende mhani".

Vachihera vabatwa nechikomba

Vachihera vakanga vabatwa vaine chikomba, chinzwa pamuromo, hanzi: "Zvamurimi mufambe muchiudza vanhu kuti mandibata nechikomba ndimi munozvishoresa kuti makaroora hure.

Tsamba kuna Aunty Rhoda - Ndakawanikidza mukadzi ane chikomba

Kuna Tete Rhoda

Ndaita dambudziko guru chairo. Ndinoshandira imwe kambani hombe inoita zvekugadzirira wine. Ndine mkadzi nevana vana. Mkadzi uyu ndava nemakore 18 ndiinaye.

Rimwe zuva boss vangu vekubasa vakashanya kuZambia. Se munhu anga ari panight shift uye mushina wakafa ndakati regai ndidzokere kumba ndindorara hangu. Ndakawana mkadzi wangu akarara pamubhedha wedu nemukomana anoroja panext door. Ndapererwa tete gandichazivi zvokuita. Ndibatsireiwo

MHINDURO YATETE

Nyika ino yaurawa nevanhu vakaita semi musingadi kugara pabasa.kana boss asipo.hazvina kunzi chienda kumba undorara. Usaita tsika yakaipa kudaro yokunzvenga basa. Ndimi munoita kuti economy yedu idzikire. Dai boss vako vakakuranga zvakaomarara kana kutokudzinga basa racho vatsvage munhu ane hanya nebasa. Vamwe vanotorishaiwa basa racho iwe uchitoita rekutamba naro kudaro. Next tym usaita zvekutamba nebasa uchidaro

Wandigumbura kwazvo

Tete Rhoda

Rudo here kuti vanhu vageze vose

Ukanzwa murume achidaidza mudzimai kuti vageze vose everytime usafunga kuti rudo rwakanyanyisa. Kwete bodo, kutya kuti foni inosara ikavhurwa kana kufonerwa nesmallhouse 

vanhu rume vaka ngwarawawo

Musadheerere varume zviri mudzimba umu!
Shumba akadzoka kumba pakati pehusiku apa madam BP yakakwira..
Shumba: Mai kim ndivhurirewo door.
Mai kim: Handidi enda kwawanga uri. Inguvai idzodzi?
Shumba: Saka ndakuzvikanda hangu muswimming pool ndife.
Mai kim: Ifa i dont care. Shumba anotora zidombo okanda muswiming pool....juuubwiiiii.
wife panics and rushes out straight kuswimming pool. Shumba opinda mumba okiya door .
Mai kim: Ba kim nhai vhurai door.
Shumba: Wait ndichambofonera hama dzako nedzangu uvaudze kwaurikubva this time wakapfeka pant nebra.

Varume nema ministry avo kuvakadzi

  1. Minister of Finance - murume anongokumbirwa mari achingodyiwa
  2. Minister of Defence - uyu ndiye wekumaraini kwaanogara anoshandiswa kutyisidzira vakomana vanomunetsa
  3. Minister of Infrastructural Development - uyu ndiye anoshandiswa kutenga hembe, kugadzira musoro, ma nails etc
  4. Minister of Tourism - uyu ndiye anopota achishandiswa kuti babe riende kumafaro kana kushanya kunzvimbo dzakasiyana siyana munyika kana kunze kwenyika
  5. Minister of Foreign Affairs - uyu haagari munyika anopota achiuya vachitamba dzakahwanda
  6. Minister of Transport - uyu ndiye anongoshandiswa kupota achiendesa babe kwarinenge richida
  7. Minister of Rural and Urban Planning - uyu ndiye anoshandiswa kubhadhara rent kana kutenga residential stands
  8. Minister of Information and Technology - uyu ndiye anoshandiswa kutenga expensive fones (gadgets) dzinoshandisa whatsapp ne facebook yekutsvagisa more ministers
  9. Minister of Agriculture and Food Security - uyu ndiye we food, ma pizza and all
  10. Minister of Home Affairs - uyu hapana kana chaanotengera babe ndewekungoshanda zve bedroom chete and iri razor inotozivikanwa naizvozvo. 
  11. Minister without portfolio..ava vanenge vari brother vekuchechi,vanenge vakaperera chaizvo asi vasingazive kuti bhebhi ravo muti wemusango.kana kiss havapihwe brother ava and havana kana stress nazvo coz vanenge vakazvichengetera kuti vozoita kana varoora

baby feeder ku small house

Mumwe murume akaita small house kuMbare, saka akanga asisauye kumba,  ndokubva mukadzi wake atevera ikoko. Ndokuwana murume akagadzikwa musofa akapfekedzwa baby feeder, achidyiswa nespoon. 
Mukadzi akatsamwa, zvikanzi: "Imi murikuitei murume mukuru handei kumba!". 
Zvikanzi nemurume... "Atiti" 

Mushonga wezvikomba

Pane blazz apfuura achisheedzera kuti arikutengesa mushonga wemasvosve wemakonzo newezvikomba....ndamumisa ndichida kuona mushonga wezvikomba wane irekeni.....

masasi ekupenga: mushonga wezvikomba

Pane blaz vapfura vachisheedzera mshonga wemasvosve , wemakonzo newezvikomba ndamumisa ndichida kuona wezvikomba wanei irekeni