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Unoda kuuraiyisa mhuri yese

Mumwe muface aibva kunorova mbanje achibva awsvika paden ndokuwana gezha yapopa
kubva kurifazi, achibva akena muddenazi ndokubva ati manheru baba maswera sei?,
ngezha ndokudavira, achibva apinda mubedroom make kuti ambonoviga mbanje dzanga
dzasara, adzoka musitting room manga mune ngezha achibva ati manheru maswera
sei?, achibva apfuurira kuenda kukitchen ndokutora sadza rake achibva asvikogara
ndokubva ati manheru maswera sei?, apa ngezha yaiva yamutarisa nepamusoro
penewspaper yayaiverenga, dzichibva dzarova skero, dzapedza ndobva dzanodzosera
maplates kukichini achibva asvikoti manheru baba maswera sei?, apa ngezha haina
kupindura, achibva agara pasofa, kamunin'ina kake kachibva kauya kuseri kwesofa
kachiti vha -aamumu vhaaaamu, yava 20, vhaaaamu yava mu50, kachiramba
kachingodaro kusvika kava mu180, a-aah blaz vembanje vachibva vasimuka
ndokuvhara nembama hanzi iwe inotibheutsa unoda kuuraiyisa mhuri yese.

ZPS competition (Zimbabwe Prison Services)

Win a trip to Chikurubi Maximum Prison and stay there for as long as you want,just sms,"I sell mbanje" to 112 and stand a chance to win free clothes,free meals,free accommodation!!!!!
Sponsored by ZPS.

Ndakadya guru

Yekudhakwa yakaoma! Mumwe mukomana akatenga guru ndokurisiya kumba nekuti magetsi ayenda. Akadzokera kubhawa ndokuzofunga kunobika pakadzoka magetsi, asi light rakabva ratsva. 
Apinda mumba akabatabata pa table ndokutora guru rake ndokucheka cheka ndokuisa mupoto. Akaisa ma onion nemadomasi kuti zvinyatsoibva zvose. 
Chakamunetsa ndechekuti rakaramba kuibva kusvikira apakura rimwe ndokudya zvakadaro achiti iguru rebhuru rachembera. 
Ava mangwnani, akashanyirwa ne musikana wake iye asati amuka ndokuudza musikana kuti abike kasadza ke bhabharasi nekuti akasiya usavi manheru.
Musikana apedza kubika sadza, ndokuisa kapoto keusavi pastove. Paakavhura poto wanei mapisi 7 e towel rokugezesa zvakanyatsosangana nemadomasi. Musikana ndokubvunza mukomana, "wakadya nei mamheru", zvikanzi neguru. Mukomana akazoti ava kundoogeza, wanei guru riri mu shower rakatocheneruka sipo.

Mbudzi chena ne tema

Mdu: mbudzi dzako unodzipeyi dzakasimba kudayi
Ndaba: unoreva chena here kana nhema?
Mdu: chena
Ndaba: dzinodla uswa zvadzo
Mdu: ko tema ke?
Ndaba: nadzo ndodzipa uswa
Mdu: dzinogarepi so
Ndaba: chena here kana tema
Mdu: chena
Ndaba: muchirigu chikuru chiripazhe
Mdu: ko tema ke
Ndaba: nadzo dzinogara muchirugu chikuru chiripazhe

After a long silence 

Mdu: kana mhinduro dzichifanana nemhaka yeyi uchibvunzs kuti tema here kana chena?
Nda: nekuti chena ndedzangu
Mdu: Tema ndedzani saka
Nda: Nadzo ndedzangu futi

Masasi ekupenga - Mabasa embanje paMabvuku

Veduwee vanhu ngavatsvage mabasa uye mbanje dziitwe shoma! Ndiyani akanyora pagedhi remabvuku cemetry kuti anenharo ngaamuke....

Magetsi akaenda ndiri kuchigayo

Chinzwa zvakazokonzerwa nekunetsa kwemagetsi:

Sekuru: Nhai Morgan ko zvawaita mazuva matatu usina kudzoka kuchigayo?
Morgan: Magetsi anga achinetsa
Sekuru: Saka wazogaisa here magaroni maviri andakakupa?
Morgan: Kwete magetsi haana kudzoka.
Sekuru: Saka chibage chiripi?
Morgan: Chakapera ndicho chandaikanga maputi ndakamirira magetsi

Mabasa embanje - avocado

John naJames vapedza zvawo kurova mbanje vakaenda pamuAvocado ndokuona Avo (kotopeya) riri pamusorosoro vakatanga kuritema nematombo vachitadza kuridonhedza. 
Pava paya, vaneta, John ndopaakati sha tikangofira kutema Avo risina kuibva pano rega ndikwire tione kana rakaibva. John akakwira ndokusvikori dzvanya dzvanya ndokubva dzaburuka zvikanzi rakaibva sha ngatishingirirei rinodonha

dzimufushwa

Ndanga ndiripaborder nhasi vamwe baba vabatwa nembanje vakanyepa kuti mufushwa mapurisa akavapa cooking oil, poto nesalt kuti vabike. Vapedza kudya ndobva vati ndandisingazive kuti kana dzabikwa dzinonaka, zvikanzi nemapurisa dzii, vakati "dzimufushwa"