Find by tag

Ku jaira hu hwindi

Hwindi akatora driver's licence ndokubva apuromotwa kuita dhiraivha wekombi. First week yake yekutyaira  was quite an experiance for him. Mangwanani atakura vanhu kuenda kuSunshine City (Harare) weather kwakwiite change tumashowers kwaakunaye. Driver wekombi kwakumise mota kuti agadziridze ma wipers kuti agonyatsoona nzira.

Paakapedza akadzoka akasvikogara kwaiva nemapasenja. After five minutes akazobvunzwa ne passenger kuti "Hausiwe urikudhiraivha here????"

Musalala ku back seat

 Kamwe kamusalala kachimoko kakakwira kombi kachienda kuMabvuku. Kanga kaka pfeka bhandana haikona, kaspaghetti nehipster. Kainhuwirira uku cellars yemari iri mumaoko waona. Maface aingokaaya imwe iya iya yechiboyz.  Kakagara kuback seat kachirova zvako pitza. These 2 guys vakatanga kukati ndeipiko geriza. Unonzani? Ende unoita manje. Hakana kupindura kaingo tarisa vanhu vese mukombi kachiita kunga kari kuona matuzvi Vakaramba  vachingokanetsa kachingoignorewa. Whindi ndiye akazoti, "chiiko kuback seat chanetsa?? Boyz dzakasheedzera kuti, " SHAZ KAMUSALALA AKA
KASURA WAONA,  MANJE KARI KURAMBA KUTIVHURIRAWO WINDOW...."

Hwindi anga ashay change

ko mumwe hwindi akazotengera mumwe mupositori midzanga 5 ye Everest pa5rand change yake.

Later in the evening mupositori waited 4 that same kombi ndokubva apinda. Pakubhadhara hwindi ws suprised achipihwa midzanga 5 iya. Imi, pakaita noise

Chi rapa-rapa chana hwindi

Language yema hwindi emuHarare mazuva ano!!

  1. Kutakura mupurisa... 'Ndabata datya.' (coz cops dont pay).
  2. Kuisa Kombi mu neutral... 'Isa gear muhomwe.'
  3. Mune hama dzemuridzi wekombi here muno?... 'Mune ma foam rubber here muno?'
  4. Driver fambisa mota, handei... 'Zora butter mutyairi.'
  5. Daily takings (mari pakupera kwezuva)...'Zvabuda musarudzo.'
  6. Pindai mukombi, musamira panze...'Vabereki wandirai mukati senhumbu.'
  7. Driver ita 140km/hr... 'Driver, tipe $1.40.'
  8. Reverse...'Idyai nesele driver.'
  9. Kutorerwa mapassengers neimwe kombi....'Ndaurayirwa vaenzi.'
  10. Munhu asingade kubhadhara mukombi...'Maita n'anga muno.'
  11.  Maita munhu mudhafu (and therefore hazvisi kuita kuti vagare vari 4 pa seat)...'Iro seat iro rakagarwa nema landlord.

Mukombi hamu rarwe

Hwindi achimutsa vamwe blazo vanga varara mu kombi:
Mudhara mudhara mukai apa mukombi hamurarwe kana makuita zvekurara takukubhadharisai mari yeLodge o yemuhotera manje. muchazotiridzira mamwe gitare asiriwo.

Kombi imarii?

Vamwe ambuya vakamira pabus stop varikuda kuenda kutown kombi ndobva yamira 
hwindi: Town town town
ambuya: Kombi yenyu imarii nhai mukwasha
hwindi: ambuya kombi haisi kutengeswa iyi irikuenda kutown.
ambuya: ndati irikuita marii
hwindi: haisi kutengeswa mhani, driver rova mota tiende.

kurovero door re kombi

umwe blazo akapinda mukombi kwakurovera doo, achivhara zvikanzi na hwindi:

 ''nhai mudhara fridge  yekumba kwenyu munorovera saizvozvo here?", zvikanzi na blazo: 

"handisati ndamboivhara ndirimukati!"

Ka hwindi kechidiki

Amai vakatengera mwana toy yekombi. Kakomana kakatanga kuitambisa kachideedzera kachiti "vabereki 4 4, Tafara Mabvuku kwagogo! Ko imi makamirirei? Murimhata" The mother overheard her son and was angry. She took away the toy and hid it. After a while vakanzwa tsitsi mwana wavo angonyarara. She give him the toy bck. Gare gare vakanzwa mwana akudeedzera achiti "vabereki tadzoka handei 4 4 Mabvuku, soriyi mota yanga yatorwa nekahure ketraffic!

Different view on VaPositori vs Police

After the war between vapositori and zrp, the following people were asked to give their views and comments, and below is what they said:

Tiri parwendo actor: Mapurisa akashagadwa akashagadika semashakada akabikwa akashisha

Mai Chisamba: Vadiwa vatariri, ngatizeyei nyaya iyi zvakazara. Ko chiiko chinorwadza kudarika chimwe, tsvimbo yemupurisa (butterstick) kana kuti tsvimbo yemupositori? Touya kwamuri baba chiringazuva chedu chisati chakwata.


Papa Ubert: In the prophetic realm, I prophecy that what the vapositori did is a clear indication of lack of anointing and spiritual powers. Physical battles are not for the church. If it was my church, the congregates would just shout "Major Major!" and all the officers would shake and fall with the high anointing.

Zviri kumbofamba sei: Unotoona kuti mapurisa akatosvika pamasowe vakapfeka bhutsu uku vasina kukwinyira matrouser, apa vakatopfeka hat dzavo. Wotonzwa mapurisa ototi aa, hatidi ma child marriages kumapositori ekumasowe echishanu asi vachisiya vekwamarange. Vaya votoona kuti aa, ko tisu tega here? Bhaibheri rinoti pfekai nhumbi dzokurwa nadzo kureva kuchenesa hana yako, asi unotoona kuti vapositori vanofunga kuti magemenzi netsvimbo ndonhumbi dzacho. Wotoona mapurisa otorohwa nevapositori netsvimbo asi ivo vaine pfuti, vototiza madzimai ototi yeeeeeeee, wotoshaiwa kuti aa, ko zvinhu zvacho zviri kumbofamba sei.

Milton Chitsime: Vapositori vakanga vakaungana kuti bhomere mere seura hwesiriri pakereke paBudiriro apa, mapurisa ndokuti svikiti. Yakaparurwa nyaya, ndokunzi mudariro tsve. "Regai tsika yekuroora vana vadiki," akadaro umwe mupurisa. Kunzwa izvi vana madzibaba ndokuti tuu kutsamwa, zenze tuku nehasha. Pasina chinguva, tsvimbo kumupurisa, imwe kuna muzvina kamera. Imiwe, pakarohwa munhu pamasowe. Mupurisa akanzi netsvimbo kumusana ga, tatara tatara ndiye pasi nyonde. Umwe mupurisa akati kuna madzibaba tsvimbo zete, madzibaba pasi pi, gemenzi peku ndiye zii vakadaro. Tototenda kuti vaiva netirauzi mukati. Dai zvisizvo, paya pakati gemenzi peku, hameno. Uone madzimai uko kukuza, "Rovai madusvura iwawo." Imika! Chokwadi vakafa havana chavakaona, uye kutaurirwa hunyimwa sembare dzekumusana, saka zvaitoda kuzvionera pamhino sefodya. Yakaita mbona mbona kutsvaga chikiti chitema murima!

Sociologist: The propounders of deindividualization phenomina have already foreseen this deviant event. Because the apostolic sect members were so many, each of them lost a sense of identity, followed by untold beatings to the police. Well, taking from Haralambos et al, the theory of functionalism has been witnessed for the market of carpenters is going to boost as they will be making new tsvimbos for all madzibaba and madzimai. From a sociological perspective, the social animals, which in this regard are the police and vapositori, and ongologically speaking from an epistemological paradigm, have begun an era of war

Hwindi: Haa zvedu zvabhadhara vakomana. Mapurisa aigara akatisona, manje ikozvino ava kumapositori. Eee, maiguru muri kuenda here? Tsviyoo. Makoni nepakati.

Vharazipi: Singing *zvamutsana mutsana, madzibaba na officer, zvamutsana mutsana...* bvisa madzibwa iwe! Kusati "Rufaro kwamuri" kunorovesa netsvimbo. Kusabvisa shangu pamasowe kunorovesa. Kusabvisa hat, kunorovesa. Ndakakuudzai VaMayaya kuti Mudhogo wakazviedza izvi, haikona kuzvidza masowe.

Tsvangirayi: The police had helmets, handcuffs, butter sticks and pistols. So it cant be possible that the vapositori defeated them with only tsvimbo yemasowe. They rigged. I therefore declare this story null and void. I wont allow such rigging in 2018.

Dancehall artists: Popopopopo. Makarova officer. Makarova officer. Saka ndiyo reason, yamuri kupindira muprison. Levels! Tiri kurova tiri kurova. Tiri  kurova tiri kurova. Tiri kurova netsvimbo vamwe vari kurova nema buttersticks. Vegodo voti mapositori haana kana dhiri awa, nanana, asi isu tiri kutomhanyisa madinga netsvimbo, hmmmmm hmm.

Wasu: Ini panyaya iyi ndinoita see kuti mapurisa havana kunyatsoite introduce nyaya yavo kuna madzibaba Ishamaeri. Izvi zvakazoita kuti porisi iitwe bash netsvimbo. Hongu mapositori ari wrong pakuite marry vana vadiki uye kusavaendese kuschool. Asi iyo porisi yaifanira kutange yaite remove shangu dzavo nema helmets vobva vozoite address nemapositori. Asi ndinoti sando kumapositori nekuti vakaita defeat porisi netsvimbo chete. Asi manje porisi ichaite revenge and hameno vana madzibaba vakaponaba. 

City Council: We have now found a solution to the city kombi operators. They have outweighed both our officer and those from zrp regardless of the fact that our police is armed with butter sticks. Now we are replacing our officers with vapositori and phase out butter sticks and employ tvimbo dzekumasowe. With this strategy in place, the traffic jam and confusion that is caused by kombi operators will be put to an end.

Nzvimbo neva gari vemu Harare

Vagari vemu Harare vakamira so:
MBAVHA - Mbare
ZVIGURE -Mabvuku
MAHURE -Chitungwiza
MAPOSITORI -Epworth
N'ANGA -Mufakose
MASOJA -Dzivarasekwa
MANINJA -Kambuzuma
MABOORANGOMA - Glen Norah
MaSALAD - Avondale
GUD GUYZ - Budiriro
MaSEWAGE - Glen View
MaBabe AKANAKA- Waterfalls
MaBHARANZI - Warren Park.
MaFISH-BONGA - Kuwadzana
TYPHOID - Hatcliffe
MaWAR-VET - Malbereign.
MADOFO - Zimre/Ruwa
maZHING-ZHONG -Borrodale
MaHUSTLER - Ximex Mall
MaHWINDI - Highfield
MAPENZI - Braeside
ZVIPOKO - Tafara
AIDS - Avenues!
VAROYI - Tafara
CHOLERA- Mabvuku
NHAMO YAKAPETWA KATATU - Matapi
VASINGAGEZE - Arcadia
VANA SIYA YECOK- Chikurubi ne Morris Depot
MANOSE - Greencroft
MAKUHWA - KwaMachipisa
VANOZVIDA IVO VARI MURUKISHENI - Glen Norah
NZARA- Rugare
MAROVHA- Braeside
ZVIDHAKWA- National
VEGWAZH - MT Pleasant/ UZ
VEKUMUSHA. - Charlotte Brooke/ Crowhill
BILHAZIA - Sunningdale/Mukuvisi
MACROOK - Kamfinsa
ZVIDHAFU - Eastlea
Kwako ndekupi kana 

Private number hello...

Takagara mukombie fon yevamwe blaz yorira, ndobva vakumbira kuti driver adzikise volume...kombie yese vanhu ziiii. Blaz: Private number....Hallooo????, eish!!! "handisikunzwa chinhu",(ndobva aisa fon paloud speaker). Caller: (Shouts) "Ndati Wadyirei polony yemwana?"

Yekumba kwenyu munoroverawo here

Dzimwe mhinduro dzinopedza power. Mudhara Danda akapinda mukombi kwakurovera door achivhara. 
Driver: "Nhai mudhara, fridge yekumba kwenyu munorovera door saizvozvo here?" 
Mudhara Danda: " handisati ndamboivhara ndiri mukati!!!!!"

makandi chembedza asi...

Zvandaona zvakanyorwa pane chimwe chi old model Bus chekuMbare ..“Makandichembedza iko zvino hamuchadi kundikwira”

Kachiri kadiki

Conductor: Eeh ambuya mwana ane 3yrs anobhadhara muno mukombi, wenyu anemangani uyo?
Ambuya: Ane 36months.
Conductor: haa ok kachiri kadiki

Zvakutoda bonde

Pakaita bongozozo paCopacabana. Mumwe mukadzi akatenga cascade pane umwe murume zvikanzii, "Ah mukwasha, drink renyu harisi kutonhora wani?" Murume akati zvakutoda Bonde amai. Mukadzi akapopota zvakatyisa achiti ungada bonde neni iwe? Murume uya akazoti, "Kwete amai, Bonde ndiforomani wangu."

Usabvisa chiremerera che svutu

USABVISA CHIREMERERA CHE SUIT YAKO!
  • Usabereka setchel kana wakapfeka suit, unobvisa chiremerera che suit yako.
  • Usamhanya chero wanonoka kwauri kuenda sei, unobvisa chiremerera che suit yako.
  • Usafamba uchidya kana kunwa... 
  • Usadya mabanana, mango, chibage
  • Usamwa freezit chero kukapisa sei... 
  • Usadyira pachena unobvisa chiremerera che suit yako
  • Usamira kana kubata bata panotengeswa hembe dzemubhero, kana uchidzida wozotenga usina kupfeka suit.
  • Usaseka zvekubuda misodzi chero pakaita zvinosetsa sei ...iva dignified!
  • Usapopotedzana nevanhu kana kurwa wakapfeka suit.
  • Usapfeka ma Tekkie wakapfeka suit
  • Kana wapinda mu Restaurant, wava kudya ziva matsengero, usanyanya kushama muromo...
  • Usagwegwedura mabhonzo, unobvisa chiremerera che suit yako...
  • Takura Laptop bag chero musina chinhu mukati...
  • Usataura ma Language ese ese kana wakapfeka suit... 
  • Usataura chichawa chero uchichigona,,usataura chitoko kana chimanyika
  • Kunyangwe uchizivana nemahwindi pa rank, ita seusingavazivi, unobvisa chiremerera che suit yako.
  • Usachema chema pakutenga kana wakapfeka suit
  • Batanidza mari yako, usaverenga madhora pose pose
  • Potawo uchiti kune vamwe "Keep change"
  • Zvauriiwe ugomwa scud wakapfeka suit
  • Uchienda kuchurch famba nemhuri yako kwete one one 
  • Kana usina mota usaratidza vanhu kuti waita zvekuchekerera nemubani....
  • Ziva masvikiro pavanhu, ita sewaburuka mota. 
  • Famba nekajira kekupukuta shangu.
  • Usadikitira wakapfeka suit unless uchiparidza.

chinoz - mukombi, urikuenda kupi?

*Chinoz vachipinda mu kombi**       

Driver: Urikuenda kupi shamwari.                                

Chinoz: Ku back seat!!

Hwindi aona teacher wake

Hwindi akaona teacher wake achipfuura iye achidaidzira budiriro budiriro pamarket square ndokuti teacher teacher noise yamaindirovera muclass yakundi raramisa nhasi

Masasi ema hwindi - Ndipei ndibate katsoko

Vamwe amai vakapinda mubhazi vakabata mwana wavo m umawoko. Hwindi akaramba akaatarisa mwana wavo ndokubva ati kwavari, "Amai, kutaura chokwadi handisati ndamboona mwana akashata kunge wenyu".

Amai vaye vakangomutarisa ndokuenda kuback seat ndokusvikogara paside pemumwe murume vachibva vati kwaari,"munoziva mahwindi anodenha zvenyu,uyo aripadoor angondiwanzira ndisina kumbotaura naye mufunge".murume uya ndokuti,"vanoda kutukwa,endai munomuudza magaramoyo ndosara ndakakubatirai tsoko yenyu".

Masasi ema hwindi - Munorara paveranda here?

Conductor: Mdhara garai seat iro rekumashure...
Mdhara: Ndirikuda kukurumidza kudzika.
Conductor: saka nhai mudhara kana muchida kukurumidza kumuka munorara paVerandah here

Masasi ema hwindi - kuyamwisa

Mawhindi haapererwi nekutaura. Pane moms iri mukombi ikuyamwisa mwana hanzi,"ko moms vakaisa mwana pacharger mabhadhara here?"

Masasi ekupenga - kombi yakazara

Ukaona musoro wa hwindi ziva kuti kombi ichirikuda vanhu but ukaona magaro ake ziva kuti yazara

Ruzha ku garage rekwa Mhunga

"Ndati ndichipfura nepa garage rekwa "Mhunga" ndanzwa pachifiwa nekuridzwa muridzo ndikati regai nditsauke ndinzwe kuti chii chikutora nzvimbo ndabvunza security guard kuti chii chikuitika zvikanzi  pane interview yemahwindi!