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shongrish

SIPHO: When days are duck, friends are few.

NHLANHLA: Oh My Gosh he boat me flours.

AYANDA: Let me bath the dishes before l sleep.

SIYA: Who case if Kanye Weist is dating Kim Quatation.

NTOKOZO: I'm my mothers only female daughter.

NTOMBI: I miss my Mom and Dead shem.

LEBO: Life is too short to hold garages.

KAY: Eish, I have chest pains all over my body.

SINDI: I meat her after school.

zrp accident report

Pane motokari yerudzi rwesando (hammer) yaroverana ne nhatu mbiri nhatu (323). Paita yemushana (sunny) yapotsa yapindawo mune yekuoma mutezo(hardbordy) . Pasina nguva mandimba akasvika neyekudzivirira(defender)

Kuoma kweChiShona - Romance mu shop

Vamwe amai vakapinda maOK ndokuona Perfume yainzi ROMANCE ndokuichiva, vakakanda mubasket. Vakaona futi mabrugwa echikadzi aive akanaka uye akachipa ndobva vatora one. Vasvika paTill mari yabva yaramba kukwana zvikanzi nemukomana aive paTill, "Amai, kana murikuda zveRomance bvisai bhurugwa tichaye zvinhu". 
Amai vaye vakati, "Watikudini?"

Chinoz - Chamupidigori

Son: Daddy I have got homework?
Chinoz: Taura ndikubatsire!
Son: Hanzi tirikuda maWords anopera na"..gory"
Chinoz: Saka iwewe wanyora kuti chii?
Son: Ndanyora kuti "Gregory, naCategory, .saka kwasara 1.
Chinoz: Ko watadza kungoti "Chamupidigory?"

Wasu - Wachi diskasa football

Mwatambiro andaite bhora ndiri mukomana kana ku world cup ndaisvika ndikazwa nekurumwa ndi Suarez!
Wakazwa ere zvendakaite maMutare paSakubva stadium gore riya Sahwi? Ndakati ndechoo dribbule ball forward ndichinzvenge madefenders kwakubva ndaitwe brought down near the 18 area referee achibva a blowe whistle kwakuti awarde free kick.
Ndakasete ball kwakubva ndatomuka tomuka ndichiteste humidity, ndechoo gwinhe gwinhe leg rangu backwards kuteste strength. Kwakuite release the shot chubhu yechibva yaite goaaaaaal! Skin kwakuite sky high mafans kwakutange ku ganzirana ganzirana paya referee achibva amedze pito nge surprise!!!

Chirungu chacho kana chadai regai

Mkomana aiva form 4 akanzi nababa vake anyore 5 sentences kubva kushona oisa mu english 
  1. Ndawana mari nekutengesa maponde - l get money by selling many sex 
  2. Ndine makore 18 - l have 18 clouds 
Baba vakabva vati chirega hako mwanangu!

Wasu vachi verenga nhau dzeChiShona

WASU varambidzwa kuverenga nhau dzeShona paZBC mushure mezvizvi:
Hedzinoi ndaa dzichierengwa ndiMutape wekwaonini, wekwaZimunya; Harare: Mukuru anolidhe bato ririkuite looting namasi aite kuti anhu anerwe nge police apenoo tazwa kuti mapurisa apedze mvura yose nge ma teargas ose achiti hambai. Apa izwa Zita rebato hazi NERA. Anhu angoite mavhu nerubbish kuwanda kuzoringise looting yacho. Amwe arume waingoite drive left hand motikari apinde patight ngemapurisa paroadblock apo mupurisa paamise motikari avhunze munhu on the right side kuti aproduse driver's licence. Mupurisa adye rasha paaite see kuti driver haasiye ari kuleft, akavati vaifunge kuti akapusa so ngavaite return steering kuright side. Amwe asikana azoitwe arrested kuNSS aite sing Bvuma Wachembera mustadium muchiitwe inaguration yemukuru wenyika. Mapurisa ati kufarisa kwakadai has never happened before.....

shongrish - rudo randipedza mafuta

Chirungu chakaoma!
Umwe musikana waida kunyora tsambambozha kumukomana wake nechirungu. Aida kuti "Rudo rwako rwandipedza mafuta".
Asi nekugozha kwechirungu, musikana wakanyora kuti: " Hi babie, your love finished my vaseline "

shongrish - Kupfekedza mwana napukeni

AMAI: Nhai baba vemwana kupfekedza mwana napukeni muchirungu kunonzi kudini?
BABA: Haa apa ndakaroora mukadzi zidofo chairo.
AMAI: Tiudzeika imi makadzidza.
BABA: Kutadza kungoti kidnapping

viola waita nhumbu yemurungu

Viola aidanana nemurungu but chirungu chairamba kutamba .Zvino akaita nhumbu ndokushaya kuti otii kumface wake .Akatanga kuruma ruma muromo wake ndokuti "the moon skipped me and stomach is yours

Maths dzava kuitwa neChiShona - remove brackets

(2x + 3)(x-7)
Bvisa mateya urerutse.
(Remove brackets and simplify)