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Tese takaita Law

Pa bhawa, conversation between chinoz;temba and gidza:

Temba: ini ndakaita company law

Gidza:ini ndakaita civil law

Chinoz:ah saka tese takaita law, ini ndakaita battery low

Nharo dzeku bhawa

This old man akabva kubhawa akabatwa ne beer, ndokuti kune mukadzi wake ndipo bible, mudzimai ndokuita saizvozvo, mudhara ndokuvhura hake chapter yaMatthew overenga, suddenly bvaangoti "yaaa vanhu vane nharo" ndokuti kune mudzimai wake "mangwana kana wakuenda kuChurch undimutsewo nhaika" Mangwana vakamuka ndokubuda vese nguva dzekuenda kuChurch, vasvika pano pararana road yekuChurch neyekubhawa, mudhara ndokutora bible zvikanzi "mai mwana ndokuona wabva kuChurch rega ndimbono rakidza vanhu vaindiitisa nharo kubhawa nezuro kuti Matthew ina double T..

iwe bata imba

Chidhakwa chabva kubhawa chasvika pamba pacho chirikutadza kupinza key kuti chivhure door nekubvunda nedoro ,neighbour comes, "let me unlock the door for you",and chidhakwa replies "Dnt trouble yoself iwe bata imba chete kuti isa sheka sheka".

hure iri rasiyana nemamwe

Man going kuBhawa nemukadzi wake kunotandara vachimwa murume ndokuenda kutoilet mukadzi asara rimwe hure ndokuti utange wapiwa mari murume iyeye haabhadhari uye haadi condom mukadzi ndokungoti hoo ndokuuya vamwe two futi vachitaura same statement murume achingopinda kubva kutoilet akawana mukadzi atotsamwa ndokusvikonzi hande tonopedzerana tave kumba vachongonopinda muTax mukadzi ayingopenga dzamara tax driver ati hure raurinaro nhasi rinopenga rasiyana nemamwe aunosimbouya nawo.

Kunaka kwedoro

Pastor vachitsanangura zvidhakwa kuipa kwakaita doro nekunaka kwakaita Fanta, vakatora maworms maviri one ndokukanda mufanta then the other one mubeer .After a short while they checked and discovered that the one in the beer was dead and the one in Fanta was still alive.Then pastor asked"madzidzei apa"?One drankard answered"tadzidza kuti vanhu vanonwa doro havana maworms mudumbu".                  

Ndezve kubhawa zviya

Is this good??I visited ma doctor and he gave me some treatment and medicines .he also advised me to stop drinking beer. later in the evening I went to the bar and bought myself a fanta drink.while I was drinking I saw ma doctor drinking beer and he came to me and said""ko hauchamwa beer why?oo mari iyi piwa koti""and I said""doctor makanganwa here kuti ndini wamati  chimbomira zvehwa
hwa”"and he said"""aaah iwe! ndezvekubasa zviya kuno kubhawa ngatnwei"kwakutenga beer kwakunwa..the next day I wasn't feeling well so I had to go back to ma doctor!"""doctor ndarwara!"" I said to him""""ko chiii futi“"" he asked"doro riya ramakati ndinwe nezuro"and he answdered""""aaah ungateedzera zvekubhawa iwe  uchirwara?ndezvekubhawa zviya!unofa ukazviteedzera!""ndakaita weak!

Zvivindi kuchi naya

Zvakwakanga kuri kunaya mvura zhinji Jo aimhanya achienda kumba. Akaona mota mberi kwake achibva aimhanyira. Akasvikovhura ndokugara kumberi. Maiva musina driver asi iye akangomirira ava mukati.
Asati afunga zvakawanda mota yakatanga kufamba. Hana yake yakarova zvikuru. Kuti adzike akatya,kugaramo kwaityisazve uye kwanga kwasviba kuchinaya. Apa ma1 akanga atotanga nekuti mota yakafamba kusvika pakona yaityisa. 
Hana yakawedzera kurova paakaona steering yava kukoneswa kuteera road neruoko rwusina munhu. Zvakakunda hana yaJo achibva asvetuka nekumhanya kubhawa raiva padyo. 
Akangosvikogara mukona ari oga nemadhaka ake. Chinguvana akaona varume vaviri vachipinda vakananga paari.
Mumwe akabvunza nehasha "Mfana chivindi chako ndechei iwe kukwira mota yatiri kupusha?"

Monya ichi flexa mamhasuru mu bhawa

Monya yakapinda mubhawa ikaona mupfana akabata quart ikasvikomubvutira ndobva yatanga kunwa. Yava pa half yakatarisa mupfana uya ikaona achichema ikati  urikuchemei. Zvikanzi nemupfana mukoma wangu munyama wangu wanyanya. Kuswera zuro ndakaedza kuzvisungirira tambo ikadambuka, nezuro ndakaenda ndikanogara kunjanji chitima hachina kuuya, nhasi ndoisa poison mudoro rangu imi monditorerawo futi aaaaaa zvandirwadza

Mushonga wekutyiwa

Mumwe murume akaenda kuN'anga akati ndoda mushonga wekutyiwa akapiwa asvika kumba akaona huku ne mbudzi zvichitiza akabva agutsikana achingopinda mumba mukadzi n vana ndokutiza akabva adzokera kuN'anga. N'anga ndobva yatizao.

Muchinda wekumwa Lion, Castle ne Black Label

Mumwe barman aishamisika everyday maipinda blaz mubhawa otenga 3 pints, 1 Lion, 1 Castle ne 1 Black label ogara paTable ine three chairs onwa maPints aye one by one kana apedza obuda oenda.
Izvi zvainetsa barman kusvika abvunza kuti sei ainwa achidaro. Blaz vaya vakati takaita chitsidzo nemaBrothers angu maviri andainwa nawo vachashandira muno kuti patichapesana mumwe nemumwe wedu anofanira kutengera vamwe vake vasipo ovanwira, ivo ndizvo zvavaitoitawo kwavari.

One day blaz vaya vakapinda ndokutenga two pints chete reLion neCastle ndokunogara pasi vachibva vatanga kunwa. Barman zvakamunetsa ndokubvunza blaz vaya kuti asi pane akafa here sezvo vainge vangotenga two pints chete.
Zvikanzi naBlaz vaya "Aiwa hapana akafa. Asi kuti ini ndini ndakasiya doro."

Batsirai vekwa Jairos Jiri

Chimumumu chakapinda munight club chikarova zvacho beer uku chichi flasha flasha mazimari ,,ndokuzokecha hure,, chakanorara naro usiku hwese,,kuseni hure ravakuchida kuenda apa rava kutaura mari yokupenga, chimumumu ndokubudisa pepa rokwa Jairos Jiri rakanzi "PLEASE PROVIDE THIS PERSON WITH FREE SERVICES AND ENTERTAINMENT YOU NEVER KNOW TOMORROW IT COULD BE YOU"

Ndapotsa ndabatwa ndichi dongorera

But mfesi wangu Joromia akadyiswa zvakaipa nemukadzi wake.
 Ndakamudza kuti amanye kumba kwake madam vake vapinza chikomba.Kwakudzoka kubhawa achifemereka kwakuti "Ma1, ndapotswa ndabatwa ndichivadongorera!"

Svomhu (maths) dzemu bhawa

Honaiwo svomhu (maths) dzemubhawa:

Ma Lion Larger 76, less your age, plus 40 ma Pilsner  = gore rawakazvarwa

Enda unodzosera kwawaka muwana

Zvakaoma sokunzi nevabereki mukadzi wako hatimudi ,enda unomudzosera kwawakamuwana.Apa iwe uchiziva kuti Bhawa racho rakavharwa yatove Supermarket.

Masasi ekupenga

Its better kugara mubhawa uchifunga Mwari

Than kugara muChurch uchifunga hure