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Chinoz Provisional Test

Hanzi chinoz paakaenda kunotora provisional licence yake VID yakati sa MP, aingozo bvunzwa mubvunzo umwe chete.
VID Inspector: Honourable Chinoz, road sign ine mombe inorevei (Cattle crossing)
Chinoz: Ahh izvo chete, inoreva kuti pane pari kugochwa pamberi

Wanted: New Brain

Hanzi mumwe murume akaenda kwachiremba achirwara and he wanted a new
brain. So he was shown three brains One nyamukoti(doctor) it was
costing $25 000.00 yechi two yaScientist it was $30 000.00 and the
third one yaChinoz and it was $50 000.00 he asked why yaChinoz was
expensive he was told nekuti hadzisati dzashandiswa brain dzacho.

Chinoz - Half Mast

Hanzi Chinozi is such a Zanu die hard that ane underwear yeflag yeZimbabwe. 
Anyway, hanzi each time panofa a national hero, dzinopfeka underwear iya mumabvi (around the knees), hanzi iri pahalf mast!

Chinoz ku movie

Chinoz went ku eastgate achida kuona movie. Saka asvika pamovie house akaona panyorwa kuti NO UNDER 18 ndokubva dzarova speed kuenda kuden. 

Madam vakashama kuona shasha yakurumidza kudzoka ikati regayi ndibvunze.
"Zvaita seiko Baba makurumidza kudzoka". Chinoz akati:
"Ndashayiwa vanhu 17 vekupinda navo mumovie".

Chinoz mundege

Saka vakanga vari mundege manje mazuva avaifamba pasi pose madiro, mutyairi wendege kwavakuti imwe hinjini yendege yaisisiri kushanda zvakanaka, then muface manje Chinoz kwavakuti, " a-aah zvatirisu vemunyama tichahi burukai musunde".

Successful white farmer

Reporter: Mr. Chinos now that you have been allocated this huge farm what  are your ambitions?
Chinoz: I want to be a successful white commercial farmer

Chinoz aku tizwa ne Huku

Chinoz was sent to deliver a live chicken to a customer.on his way he slipped and fell and huku yakabva yatanga kutiza.Chinoz started laughing and a security guard who was watching zvese zvichiitika asked Chinoz why he was laughing,then Chinoz answered "huku yakapusa iyi,iri kutiza ichienda kupi address ndini ndaipihwa..."

Chinoz on gumbura

Hanzi chinoz vakanzi na  p munouona sei mutongo wapiwa gumbura 40yrz nenyaya yekubata rape?

Chinoz vakatii aaah zvinotyisa ungatongerwa 40yrz dzekungo bata rape chete? Kokuzoti isu tinotoirima ikozvino andichadi ndavekungorima sweet cabbage coz ndingatotongerwa lyf in jail

Chinoz vachinotenga Huku

Chinoz and his wife planned kunotenga huku. Vakaenda ku butcher then mkadzi wachinoz said 2litres dze huku imari. Chinoz vakaumburuka nekuseka sezvo manga makazara vanhu. Wife asked ko murikusekei then chinoz replied, "aahhh urikubvunza 2lts dzehuku isu tasiya chigubhu kumba?"

Pindura nyama iyo

Chinoz and Obama at a braai,

Chinoz: Hey Obama answer that meat.

Obama: (confused) 

Chinos: Again obama! i said answer that meat! Ndati pindura nyama iyo inotsva mhani

Tese takaita Law

Pa bhawa, conversation between chinoz;temba and gidza:

Temba: ini ndakaita company law

Gidza:ini ndakaita civil law

Chinoz:ah saka tese takaita law, ini ndakaita battery low

Ita imwe yechipiri

Chinotimba akabata mutourist achitunda akamuti bhadhara find ye50 dollaz mutourist akabva aburitsa 100dollaz chinoz akati hurumende haina change saka tunda futi!

Chinozi vachi shandura muriwo

Chinoz akafonerwa neshamwari yake achipindura muriwo saka shamwari yake  yakamubvunza nechirungu ikati 'what are you doing?' Chinoz dzikati 'l am busy replying vegetables'

Answer in Brief

vamwe Cde  was writing an examination in an exam room he took off all his clothes and was left with a pant when the invigillater saw him naked like that he asked Cde ko zvaiita sei zvomotinyadzisa? Cde vakati Ndiri kupindura question no 5 yakanzi answer in brief!!!

Chinoz anakirwa ne H-Metro

Chinoz akatenga H-Metro akanakirwa, akaseka ndokuseka ndokubuditsa dollar zvikanzi ndipe rimwe shamwari

Vana sir vamunoziva

Teacher: give me the names of Sirs you know

John: Sir Winston Churchill
Peter: Sir Alex Ferguson
Tracy: Sir Allan Wilson
Chinoz : Sir Unononga (Seunononga)!

Ma color epa flag

MaCde toisa macolour api pa flag?
Vakuru vakuru: Red for the blood shed during the war.
Vice wavo: White for peace, green for vegetation &yellow for minerals.
Chinoz: Ko ngatiisei chek chek, tine hama dzakachekwa chekwa muhondo ka!!!

Hauna kusiyana nembwa

Chinoz and Madam vake vakagara zvavo mu-lounge
after dinner...
Madam (to Chinoz): Unogona ku-swimmer?
Chinoz: Aiwa
Madam: Saka unokundwa nembwa? Ha ha ha kikik
kikikiki (kuseka) Chinoz keeps quiet. Then a few moments later...
Chinoz: Ko iwe unogona ku-swimmer?
Madam: Yes of-course!
Chinoz: Saka hauna kumbosiyana nembwa

Mibvunzo mu paramende

Mibvunzo muparamende

Biti: ini ndakaita financial law
Gono:ini ndakaita company law
Chinamasa: ini ndakaita medical law
Tomana: ini ndakaita criminal law
Chinoz: ini ndakaita battery low

Yangu iUruguay

Presenter: Mr Chinotimba pa world cup apa muri ku sapota chikwata chipi, sezvo ma Warriors asiko?
Chinoz: Uruguay 
Presenter: Indava? Asi munofarira chikomana Suarez? 
Chinoz: no becoz ndinoera gwai

Imbwa dzepa next door dzanetsa

Chinoz wyf" daddy imbwa dzepanext door dzirukunyanya kuita noise endai munotaura navo tave kutadza kurara.chinoz wakes up, goes thr and returns after 15 mins bt the noise was now 3 tyms  more.

irritated the wife asks"ko noise yacho zvayatonyanyisakasi mawatadza? Chinoz replied"aiwa mai mwana ndatora imbwa dzacho ndikadziisa muyard medu kuti vambozvinzwawo zvadzinoita."

Ndati munofara here

chinoz was tokin pa4n 

chinoz: hello mai pride are u happy. (there was a moment of silence) 

chinoz: ndati munofara here

chinoz achinyora zamanishoni

MuExam yeGeo CHINOTIMBA anobvisa  hembe dzose osara nebrief.
Invigilator: ko zvadiizve nhaivaChinotimba.
chinoz: ndiri kuanswer  number 4 yakanzi answer in brief...

Makawandisa, hamukwani!

President Robert Mugabe visited Chinoz at his one-roomed house & he knocked on the door.
Chinoz: Ndiyani ?
RGM: I am his excellency; the head of state and gvt; the commander in chief of the Zimbabwe defence forces; the chancellor of all state universities; the first and permanent secretary of revolutionary party  of zanu pf, the father of Chatunga, the most educated president in the world and the president of the republic of zimbabwe, cde Robert Gabriel Mugabe.
Chinoz: ah makawandisa hamukwani ndine nzvimbo yemunhu one chete!

ibola egedini

Reporter: nhai vaChinoz munoti kudiiko ne Ebola irikuda kupinda munyika? 
Chinoz: haa mfana yakapinda kare kare, ndiyo yaingonzi nanavaMugabe nepa T.V pose kuti IBOLA EGEDIN

chinoz pa gochi gochi

Chinoz and Gono vachirova gochi gochi...,
Chinoz: Reply the meat
Gono: What..??
Chinoz: I said reply the meat
Gono: What.....!
Chinoz: Ndati pindura nyama iyo dofo..

ndakazvarwa mu...

Biti: ndakazvarwa mu summer time 
Gono: ndakazvarwa mu winter time 
Chinamasa: ndakazvarwa mu spring time 
Chinoz : ndakazvarwa mu airtime

chinoz ku posvo

Chinoz dzakatenga envelope ✉ at a local post office. Dzakaivhura and then screamed on top of his voice into the envelope and ndodva dza vhara hadzo.

Ambuya vemu post office asked him: "Va Chinoz, chiii nhai?"

Chinoz: "Ndiri kutumira voice mail."

Chinoz pavaka uraya chipembere

Cde Chinoz vakasungwa nemapurisa ndokuendeswa kucourt.
MAGISTRATE: VaChinotimba mune mhosva yamuri kupomerwa yekuuraya chipembere munobvuma here kana kwete. 
CDE CHINOZ: pamusoroi changamire, makurukota,vedare nemi mose makateerera. Ini ndirikushamisika kuti ndiani arikundipomera mhosva ini ndisina kuuraya chipembere chake.
MAGISTRATE: Tati munobvuma here kuti makauraya chipembere? 
CDE CHINOZ: Hongu chipembere ndakauraya asi ndezvaniko zvipembere zvacho? 
MAGISTRATE: Ndezvedu tose as Zimbabweans. 
CDE CHINOZ: Ehe saka ndakauraya changu zvasara zvose ndezvenyu ini handisisina chipembere.

Chinoz: Application Letter

Application letter

The Foromani
Harare City Kanzuru
Tauni House

Wadiwa Foromani

I beg to put my application fo driving the kanzuru rori .
I went ejukeshenu at Chikokandunye at St Nyoka Mission .

I write Samhu I win , I write shona I win , I write Hisitiri I win,
I write Signs I win, I write Jogirafu I draw, I write VID I win again
so if the job is there , I am coming there .
So I have 5 o level and driving raisenzi in the advertaisimenti

kupedzisira ndinoti munofara here mose ikoko? I come and interview you soon

Wenyu akavimbika,

J. Chinotimba

chinoz - sangweji

chinoz akabatwa paborder achida kusmuggler chipembere kuti apinde nacho mujoza.
nekukurumidza chinoz akatora ma slice maviri echingwa ndokunamatidza 1 kumagaro echipembere then imwe pamberi nechepamhuno chaipo.
mapurisa akabvunza chinoz kuti ko iyi yaa yipi manje zvakanzi na chinoz "Wakatanga riinhi mutemo wekuudzira vanhu nyama dzekuisa pakati pechingwa, ndisiyei ndipinde ne sangweji yangu".

chinoz - aircon

A journalist ask cde chinoz: "do yu have any comments about the death of mandela. "
Chinoz: " oh yes yes. Africa has lost an aircon"

chinoz vakapfeka jersey re brazil

Chinos akapfeka jersey rake re Brazil achienda mutown ndokusangana nemapurisa. 
Zvikanzi nemapurisa, "Nekurohwa kwamakaita ne Germany muchiri makangopfeka jersey reBrazil!"
Zvikanzi na Chinos, "Zvichashamisira here? Inga imi wani makangorohwa wani nemapositori asi nanhasi makapfeka uniform yechipurisa!!"

chinoz vaita accident

JUDGE: Ko chinoz tanzwa kuti watsika vanhu 5 muroad ,chii chaitika
CHINOZ: Zvaitika ndezvizvi vakuru, mota yangu yaputika vhiri ndichi driver mukamwe karoad
JUDGE: e-e?
CHINOZ: Saka kuleft kweroad kwakune vanhu 4 ku right kune 1 ,ndikati rega ndiende kuright zviri nani ndiuraye 1
JUDGE: Zvamamafunga wani.. ko chii chazoiitika kuti muuraye 5?
CHINOZ: Chazoitika ndechekuti 1 uya anga ari kuright azotizira kuleft kune 4 vaya ,saka pandati nditevere 1 uya bva ndabatanidzira nevamwe 4 vaya

chinoz - relaxing mu park

Chinoz aive akalaxer zvake mupark, pakabva pasvika a white lady.
White Lady: Oooh are you relaxing?
Chinoz: No i am Chinoz.
White Lady: No i am just asking, are you relaxing?
Chinoz: Haaa ibvapa iwe ndinonzi Chinotimba mhani!
Then akabva asimuka akutenderera zvake mupark,  akabva aona kawhite kid kaitamba zvako...
Chinoz: Are you Relaxing?
White Kid: Yes i am..
Chinoz: Pfutseki wako mhanya kuna mbuya wako vari kukutsvaga. Vari kungobvunza munhu wese kuti are you relaxing, are you relaxing...

Tshaka Zulu

Teacher asked Themba how tall was Tshaka? 
Themba: 1 km Sir,
Chinoz vakabva vapwatika havo nokuseka.....
Teacher: unosekei Chinoz? And he said, zvataurwa naThemba ... 
Teacher: chindiudza answer iwewe.....
Chinoz: 30 cm! hanti zvanga zvakanyorwa kuti Tshaka Zulu was a ruler..

chinoz - zita riri mu fashion

Journalist : Nhai vaChinotimba, kana Bona abatsirwa mwana munofunga timupe zita rekuti ani? Toda zita riri mufashion. 
Chinoz: Zvirikumbofambaseiishe.

Chinoz - Zino for beer

Reporter: Nhai vachinoz munotii nenya ye xenophobia irikuitwa ku South Africa?
Chinoz: Okay nyaya ye zino for beer hainetse ini ndinongoti vharai mabhawa arikutengesa zino for beer mosiya atajaira anoda cash for beer

Chinoz - Mabori anonzii neChirungu

Mwana: "Dad, mabori anonzii nechirungu?"
Chinoz: "Nxaaa haa ndiri kutambisa mari yangu. Nanhasi hauzive Eyes Cream?"

Chinoz - Kubviswa zino haisi nyore!

Reporter: Chinozi unoti chii nenyaya ye xenophobia? 
Chinoz: Zinophobia vanhu vazhinji inovabata. Ndosaka vasingaende kwa dentist.! Kubviswa zino haisi nyore.

Chinoz - vaimbi vepa Indipendence

Chinoz vanyora list yemaMusicians achaimba paIndependence gala 
  1. Areki Macheso
  2. Ja Pureza
  3. Soja Ravhu 
  4. Kira Ti 
  5. Toki Vhaibhusi 
  6. Se Karazi 
  7. Dhokota Simuzi 
  8. Pita Moyo 
  9. Redhi Swanda 
  10. Metiyasi Mhere 
  11. Renadhi Zhakata
  12. Charusi Charamba 
  13. Wingi Dhi 
  14. Roki 
  15. Arekisio Kawara
Endi meni mo

Chinoz- hauna kundibata

Chinoz akamuka pakati pehusiku ndokutanga kuseka, mukadzi wake akapepuka ndokubvunza kuti ko urikusekei pakati pehusiku hwakadai ? Chinoz akati. Aaaa ndarota wandibata ne girlfriend yangu yekumufakose saka ndirikuseka kuti hauna kundibata ndanga ndichirota.

chinoz - tie and die

Jarzin chirongwa chemadhora "vaChinotimba, mubvunzo wekupedzisira mobva matora mari... 'munhu anozviuraya nekuzvisungirira neChirungu zvinonzi chii?"
Chinoz: haa zvakapusa izvo... "Tie and Die".

chinoz - indigenisation

Reporter : nhai vaChinoz why is it mazuvaano vasikana vachizora zvinotsukisa?
Chinotimba : ndoo inonzi indigenisation tave kugadzira varungu tega muno muZimbabwe

chinoz - ma vendor muma streets

REPORTER: Cde munoti kudii nekudzingwa kukuitwa maVendors muma streets?

CHINOZ: Inin ndikutoshaya kurusarura rwabva papi futi, zvikunzi maVenda chete ndooabve ko maShona, maNdebele nemaMachawa akutengesawo mustreet arikusiirwei?!

chinoz - marudzi ema kiss

Teacher - ndiani angatipewo marudzi ekiss amunoziva? 
Caleb - deep kiss, 
Gift - french kiss, 
Chinoz - kiss dhondoro. 
Teacher - chii????? 
Chinoz - sorry, kiss musi

Chinoz - tangai nezvidiki

Mwana waChinos fails to spell e word COW.
Teacher meets e parent n let him know..
Chinos respond ... "mungadaiwo mamutanga nezvidiki like mosquitoes not a cow"
Igore rezvidzidzo nhai...

Chinoz - kupfekedza mwana napukeni

Zvikanzi hoyo mubvunzo kuna Cde Chinoz, "Nhai vaChinoz, ko iko kupfekedza mwana ma"Nappies" kunonzi chiiko neChirungu?"

Zvikanzi naCde Chinoz, "Aaaa ibvai apa mhani, munondibvunzireiko zvakapusa kudaro? Ndoinonzi "KIDNAPPING" or ku "Kidnapper" mwana!"

Chinoz ninja circumcision

President we China akaita competition yekuda kuona the best ninja pasi rese. Saka pamaninja ese akaenda ikoko, pakasara 3 vanga vakapenga: weku Japan, mumwe weku England and
Chinoz from Africa.

Vakanzi do your best trick ndobva vakapiwa mosquito. Weku England akakanda mosquito ndokutora sword rake ndiye," ....... Whoooooooooosh, whooooosh!!" mosquito yakadonha pasi in 3 pieces!

Weku Japan akati I can do beta than that ndoku kandawo mosquito mudenga ndiye," Whooooosh,Whooooosh,whoooooosh , whooooosh!!" and the mosquito fell in 4 pieces...... wedu 

Chinoz akambomira achigaya kuti oita sei, ndokukanda mosquito mudenga ndiye "Whoooooosh aaaaaaaaaaya whoooooooooooosh!!" but mosquito yakaramba ichibhururuka.

President vakatsamwa vakati "what is this!"
Chinoz akapindura achiti, "Mukanyatsotarisisa, you will see kuti the Mosquito has been circumcised!!!"

Chinoz - Mudare

Judge - Va Chinotimba sei makarova mukadzi wenyu ne chair ?
Chinoz - Aaah ndakatadza kusimudza table

Chinoz paIpsum

TEACHER:Chinozi kana murume akatsvinda achinzi handsome, ko akaipa anozii?
Chinozi: ummmmmmm anonzi ....ipsum!!

Bhavhadheyi rako unosheya nani

Ndeupi wauno sheya naye mwedzi wawakazvarwa nawo apa?
January - Magaya
February- R.Mugabe
March - Tsvangirai
Aprill - Gumbura
May- Marabha
June - Mai Chisamba
July - Jah Praizah
August - Chinotimba
September - Macheso
October - Zhakata
November - Vharazipi
December - Makandiwa

Then wauno share naye ndoyava nickname yako!

Chinoz vachitaura nezve mutongo wa Gumbura

Reuben Barwe: Achinotimba munotii nemutongo waGumbura 40 yrs pakubata rape kwaakaita? 
Chinoz: Aaa kana vachiti kubata rape 40 yrs, ko isu tinoirima a bva kufira mujeri. Ini pandakazvinzwa kuti Gumbura apiwa 40 yrs pakubata rape ndakabva ndatoitema,ikozvino ndorima tsunga, covo, muboora nechembere dzagumhana nezvimwe zvakadaro kwete rape ndofira mujere. Kana kubata kuchiita 40 yrs kuzoti kuirima.

chinoz - mukombi, urikuenda kupi?

*Chinoz vachipinda mu kombi**       

Driver: Urikuenda kupi shamwari.                                

Chinoz: Ku back seat!!

chinoz - chicken cuts

Teacher :ndiani angatipewo 2 types dzefood dzekuti tikadzisanganisa tinoburitsa 1type of food. 
Chinoz : chicken ne katsi. Zvinoti buritsira ma chicken cuts.

Maruva pa Valentines

Zvakanzi na pastor ku church: 
"You should know your wife's favourite flowers this valentine!" 
Chinoz dzichibva dza zevezera kuna madam vadzo dzichiti:
 "Handiti yako iSelfraising Flour ka!!

Chinoz - maiwe kani

Simba : big, bigger, biggest.
Chipo : small, smaller, smallest.
Tanaka: tall, taller, tallest
Chinoz : mai, maiwe, maiwekani

Chinoz - Chamupidigori

Son: Daddy I have got homework?
Chinoz: Taura ndikubatsire!
Son: Hanzi tirikuda maWords anopera na"..gory"
Chinoz: Saka iwewe wanyora kuti chii?
Son: Ndanyora kuti "Gregory, naCategory, .saka kwasara 1.
Chinoz: Ko watadza kungoti "Chamupidigory?"

Chinoz - 1Million Man March 2016

Reporter: Vachinoz maiona sei march yanhasi? Chinoz: Yabudirira hayo asi pakaitwa mistake nokuti yaifanira kunzi 1Million Man May nekuti March akatopfuura!

Chinoz - Ko hamusi kunzwa chando here?

Wife : ko nhai baba mwana nechando chiriko ichi apa hamuna juzi, hamusi kutonhorwa here??   
Chinoz: uuuhmm I think ndatova ne problem yenzeve.handisi kunzwa chando

Chinoz - shuga imarii

Chinoz akapinda mu restaurant for breakfast ndokubva asvikogara pachair.Waiter akabva auya
Waiter:Goodmorning Sir,what can l get you?
Chinoz:Goodmorning to you too,ko cup ye tea imarii?
Waiter:$1.50
Chinoz:ko sugar yacho?
Waiter:kana matenga tea ,sugar is for free,mahara hatitengese .
Chinoz:Good,ndipe 1 cup yetea ne4kgs dzesugar

Chinoz - dont worry ndine rimwe

Chinoz neshamwari yake planned kuisa bomb
pasi pemota yevamwe minister weopposition.

Varipo pasi pemota shamwari yacho says to Chinoz
"unoziva here kuti bomb rinogona kuputika tichiri
pano pasi pemota". Chinoz replies " dont worry, ndine
rimwe"

Chinoz - gstring

Mwanasikana waChinoz akafa neAIDS , Pakugova nhumbi, Chinoz akasangana ne G string remwana wake. Ndokudzungudza musoro achichema akaribata. Akati chirwere chakashata ichi kun'en'ena bhurugwa remwana wangu kusvikarasara tambo dzega kudai 

Chinoz - svomhu

Mwana: nhai baba 1+1chii
Chinoz: handizive
Mwana: ko 2+2
Chinoz: handizive
Mai: vanomboziveyiko baba vako daiwabvunza zvehwahwa
Mwana: 1scud+1scud
Chinoz: 2 mascuds ka
Mwana: 2 mascuds+2mascuds
Chinoz: 4 mascuds
Mwana: 4mascuds+2mascuds
Chinoz: ratova crate kkkkkkkkkkkkk

Motorcade yemutungamiri wenyika yeZimbabwe

Chinoz and his son vachifamba vakaona ndege
Son: asi indege ya presdent kani?
Chinoz: dai yanga iri ya presdent waona zvimudhudhudhu mberi.

Chinoz - Zebra

Teacher:Mr Chinotimba can you describe a Zebra in your own words . 
Chinotimba : Its a Donkey in a Highlanders Jersey

Chinoz - dont worry pamwe haisi yako

Chinoz akasvika mwanasikana wake achichema.
Chinoz: Ko urikuchemei Paida?
 Paida akapindura "Baba ndine nhumbu"...
Chinoz: Usacheme pamwe haisi yako

Chinoz - huku inedzungu

Chinoz akatumwa nehuku kuendesa pamwe pamba kuMbare, ari munzira huku yakapunyuka iye kwava kutanga kuseka huku ichitiza, mumwe mukomana akabvunza "ko mudhara munosekei muchisiya huku ichienda" zvikanzi "ini ndini ndapihwa address siya iite dzungu icharasika"

Chinoz - peturo yapera mukombi

Driver:  mudhara hapachina kwatichakwanisa kuenda mota yapera peturu.

Chinoz : iwe usada kundijairira, haungandiudze kuti mota yapera peturu iyo radio ichirira!

chinoz - Mazita ama bhuku

Teacher: Ndipeiwo mazita emabook amunoziva
Bruce Kangwa: Kusasana Kunoparira by M. A. Hamutyinei
Teacher: Good... Umwe
Zvirekwi: Macbeth by W. Shakespear
Teacher: Excellent!!! Umwewo
(Chinoz raises his hand with much enthusiasm)
Teacher: Eh Chinoz tell us...
Chinoz : Counter book by Croxley.

Chinoz - kurasisa Satan

Pastor asked Chinoz to pray for youths travelling
from Harare to Masvingo for a conference. Iye ndokuti, "Baba
tinokukumbirai kuti mutungamirire vana
pavachapfuura nemu Bindura, Chinhoyi
Kusvika Kariba........... *** Pastor interupts*** Ko yava nzira ipi
iyi nhai VaChinotimba? He said, "Ndiri kurasisa Satan. Paachaenda kwese ikoko vana vanenge vasvika kuMasvingo zvakanaka."

Chinoz - hanzvadzi yangu yafirwawo

Hanzi Chinoz aichema coz baba vake vaive vafa ndokubva afonerwa nehanzvadzi yake first born ye mumba mavo. Apedza kutaura, akabva awedzera kuchema. 
Ndakumuti ko chii zvakare, zvikanzi: "hanzvadzi yangu yafirwawo na baba futi".

Vanhu vari ku batwa sugar diabetes

Chinoz: Ndirikutya kuenda kuchipatara, vanhu vakawanda varikubatwa sugar these days. Nemadiro angu eSadza ndogona kubatwa Upfu.

Chinoz - vadonhedza flour mu supermarket

Chinoz vakapinda musupermarket vakagumha shelf by mistake and zvimwe zvinhu ndokubva zvadonha. chinoz vakanhonga zvinhu zviya vachidzosera pashelf ndokubva vasiya Flour iri pasi. Someone asked : ko mdara iwe unopenga here wasiyirei flour iri pasi? 
Chinoz replied : kana uri bofu u better shut your mouth, hauoni here kuti yakanzi self raising , inozvisimudza yega

Chinoz - mutupo

Taibvunzwa mitupo
Teacher: Thomas unoerei?
Thomas:Tsoko murehwa🐒
Teacher:Chinoz ?
Chinoz:Tsindi marondera