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Gogo vakaura jaya re 25yrs

Magistrate ~ Nhai gogo mune makore mangani,
Gogo - 85 mambo wangu
Magistrate - saka zvakafamba sei kuti musvike pakuuraya jaya rine makore 25?
Gogo - kakomana aka kakauya ndigere zvangu, ndokundi mbundikira zvinoronyoro, ropa rangu ndokumhanya. Kakabva kapuruzira mazamu ndakatanga kumerera muviri wese, ndokubva kanditsvoda ndinzwe bvunzi rangu kumira richiti nyaunyau...ndokubva kanditakura ndokundiwisira pamubheda ndakanzwa kumhanyamhanya mudumbu nemufaro...hapano kabvisa bhurugwa rangu ndikadikitira nekunyorvera netarisiro...ndopakakabva kati "Happy April Fools Day!"
Kana ndimiwo magistrate maiti ndaigodiniwo pakadaro? Ndakamuuraya ipapo ipapo!!!

Chinoz pavaka uraya chipembere

Cde Chinoz vakasungwa nemapurisa ndokuendeswa kucourt.
MAGISTRATE: VaChinotimba mune mhosva yamuri kupomerwa yekuuraya chipembere munobvuma here kana kwete. 
CDE CHINOZ: pamusoroi changamire, makurukota,vedare nemi mose makateerera. Ini ndirikushamisika kuti ndiani arikundipomera mhosva ini ndisina kuuraya chipembere chake.
MAGISTRATE: Tati munobvuma here kuti makauraya chipembere? 
CDE CHINOZ: Hongu chipembere ndakauraya asi ndezvaniko zvipembere zvacho? 
MAGISTRATE: Ndezvedu tose as Zimbabweans. 
CDE CHINOZ: Ehe saka ndakauraya changu zvasara zvose ndezvenyu ini handisisina chipembere.

miracle sex ya wasu

Wasu in court -
Judge:  "Imi wasu mukupiwa mhosva yekushandisa mubobobo paCopa Cabana munotii nazvo? "
Wasu: "Pakaitwe miracle money vanhu vakaite happy pakazoitwe miracle baby ndokubva vaite jubilate asi ini pandangoite miracle sex ndabva ndaitwe arrest why???"

Chakachaya kuCourt

Imwe couple ndokuuya ku High Court for a dirvoce:
Judge: Hamuchadanani zvachose chose hre?
Man: Hongu mambo.
Woman: Chokwadi changamire.
Judge: Mune vana vangani?
Woman: Three.
Judge: How do u want the children shared.
Panoita runyararo, votanga kukakavadzana
murume nemkadzi. After some 30 mins they come
back.
Vose: Give us time, taakunoita mumwe mwana,
then we share equally, kkkkk

Haipereri ipapo. After nine months, the woman
gave birth to twins kkkkkkkkkk

Chinoz - Mudare

Judge - Va Chinotimba sei makarova mukadzi wenyu ne chair ?
Chinoz - Aaah ndakatadza kusimudza table

Michero gumi

Vamwe varume vakanga vasvibirwa vari parwendo, vakazosvika pamusha waMambo ndoku kumbira pokuvata.

Mambo aiva nevanasikana vake vaiva mbonga (ma virgin). Akaudza machinda aya kuti vaikwanisa kuvata havo, asi vaisafanira kubata vana vake.

Machinda aya akazoita musikanzwa ndokukwira vana vaMambo. Mambo paakazvinzwa mangwana acho, aka rwadziwa ndoku shevedza machinda kudare.

Machinda aya akabatwa nemhosva ndokunzi semutongo wavo umwe neumwe wavo aifanira kuenda kunotsvaka michero gumi (10) mudondo. Vakanzi zve, vaisa fanira kuseka pa dare raMambo. Ainge aseka ari padare aizo gurwa musoro.

Muchinda wekutanga akandouya ne nyii dzake 10, jinda raMambo ndokutora nyii dziya ndokutanga kupakira kushure kwemuchinda.

Gare gare, muchinda wepiri akauya ne tsubvu dzake 10, ndo kupakirwa tsubvu dziya shure.

Muchinda wetatu akanonoka kudzoka, zvekuti vanhu vakanga vototi watiza.
Kwava kunovira, muchinda we nyii newe tsvubvu vakatanga kuseka vachiridza chikweee.

Vakabvunzwa kuti vaisekei, vakatadza kutaura nekuseka. Vanhu vakazoona muchinda wetatu achiuya akatakura magaka eminzwa.

Mazuvano tava kuchaja nezviri mukati

Mbavha mbiri dzakaenda kucourt mushure mekunge dzaba muSupermarket... 

Judge: "iwe wekutanga taura tinzwe wakabei?"
Mbavha 1: "Ndakaba gaba rehove".
Judge: "Maiva nehove ngani?".
Mbavha 1:  "Shanu"...
Judge: "Mazuvano takuchaja nezviri mukati saka makore mashanu mujere".
Mbavha 1: "kikikiki"...
Judge: "ko uri kusekei?"..
Mbavha 1: "ahh kutoseka hangu shamwari yangu yakaba gaba reBHINZI!!"