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rest in peace

Kudanana na Village girl ma 1. 
Boy.... "Goodnyt swit, !
Girlfriend..... "ok switheart, rest in peace...."

chinoz - tsamba ku chimoko

WADIWA GURORIYA

Baby ndokuda kunge nyoka yakafa.
Ndikakufunga ndichiwacha ndinonanika bucket. 
Kwese kwandinoenda handidi kukushaya setoilet. 
Babie l luv yu lyk new radio no gruuu no shhhhhh
Babie unoziva? Ndikakufunga ndichigeza ndomedza sipo!
Urigudo rakaba chibage chemoyo wangu, ndiwe wega
channel inobata pa satelite dish rangu re wiztech
Dai uri nyika yebhora ndaikuita Brazil ndichigohwesa pandodira.
Babe ndokuda zvekuti dai uri mari ndaikumbira mai vako vandikweretese ndoregedza kudzosera chikwereti.
Ndikakufunga ndinobva ndapusa kunge fish dzemugaba. 
Ndikakufunga ndichidya sadza ndoseva pasi. 
Ndikakufunga ndiri pachigayo ndogaisa madhongi. 
Babe unondizadza nerudo se memory card.
Ndokunonga urikure seblue tooth, ndokuda zviri extra kunge mega juice.
Handimbokuisa pabarika kunge dual sim hanty!
Zvekuti pandichakuroora . ndichagara newe kunge  birth certificate. Uchange  uri mumaoko kunge  cellphone...
Dai wainga uri chipfeko  ...u were going to b my 1 underwear ......

Ndini wako anokudisisa kunge air time ye net 1

Chinoz

Ndoda ana mai vakafa

Mother: Nhai Joe mwanangu wave nemakore mangani?

Son: Ndaane 35 amai.
Mother : Saka kureva kuti hausati wave
nemskana waunoda kuroora here?

Son : Kwete amai ndinaye.

Mother : Kozvino chakumisa chiiko nhai
mwanangu iyezvino kubasa waporomotwa
tarisa makurire ezimba rino rawa kapiwa raunongogara wega. !

Son : Ndicharoora amai kana nguva yakwana.

Mother : Ndiri amai vako Joe nditaurire
chokwadi kana pane zvinonetsa tione zvekuita ?

Son : Chete amai musikana wangu ndomuda kuti ndiputse chitsidzo naye chekupinda
musvitsa tave ne15 yrs tichidanana hazviite.

Mother : Ah 15yrs saka arikuenda kuchikoro here?

Son : Kwete aakutosevenza asi kuti kubva ndichimu pfimba akati haadi kuroorwa
nemukomana ana amai vapenyu.

Maruva pa Valentines

Zvakanzi na pastor ku church: 
"You should know your wife's favourite flowers this valentine!" 
Chinoz dzichibva dza zevezera kuna madam vadzo dzichiti:
 "Handiti yako iSelfraising Flour ka!!

Anenge iwe ndomudii?

Woramba munhu wotonzwa achiti haufe wakawana mumwe anenge inini...ko mumwe anenge iwe ndomudii ini ndikutotiza zvauri?

masasi ekupenga - rudo rwavanana

Ukaona uchipinda nemoyo wose murelationship uchiri teenager . ....zvakafanana nekuisa fitted cupboard paunoroja

Mukadzi oreurura zvitadzo kumurume

Mukadzi airwara serious akati regai ndiudze murume wangu zvandakatadza ndisati ndafa,    

Mukadzi : daddy ndakufa  ini          
Murume :  usadaro swty ahufe mwari vanewe        
Mukadzi : sorry honey nezvandakaita ndaikubira mari ndichinopa boyfriend yangu pluz Tadiwa ahasi mwana wako ndiwe boyfriend              
Murume : ndaizviziva ndosaka ndakuisira poison!

Kurumidza kusvipa!

Mumwe muface aifamba nemukadzi wake, vachibva vaona musikana akanakisa. Muchinda akabva amedzera mate mukadzi wake akazviona zvikanzi.."Kurumidza kusvipa!"

shongrish - rudo randipedza mafuta

Chirungu chakaoma!
Umwe musikana waida kunyora tsambambozha kumukomana wake nechirungu. Aida kuti "Rudo rwako rwandipedza mafuta".
Asi nekugozha kwechirungu, musikana wakanyora kuti: " Hi babie, your love finished my vaseline "

Rudo here kuti vanhu vageze vose

Ukanzwa murume achidaidza mudzimai kuti vageze vose everytime usafunga kuti rudo rwakanyanyisa. Kwete bodo, kutya kuti foni inosara ikavhurwa kana kufonerwa nesmallhouse 

kumhoresana nemudiwa - my boo

Musikana: I'm in love with you boo!!
Mukomana: I love you more my fushu
Musikana: kkkk chii ichocho?
Mukomana: I thought tirikumhoresana ne type dzemisuri

Madaidzirwo oita vana baba mazuva ano

Mazuva ano varume vakudaidzwa nekuwana:

$1000 zvichikwidza: Honey.                   
$700 - $900: Sweetheart 
$400 - $600: Daddy.       
$200 - $300: Baba Bee, Baba Vee etc...         
$100 - $190: Mhofu, Dhewa, Shumba, Mukanya etc...                                  
$100 zvichi dzika: Madzibaba, Munhu washe etc...

dai hangu ndiri bepa nhau

Murume aigara achiverenga newspaper nguva dzese.

Mukadzi: aaa dai ndiri newspaper
Murume: sei wadaro?
Mukadzi: nekuti waigara wakangondibata
Murume: neniwo ndaishuwira kuti dai waiva newspaper
Mukadzi: sei wadaro
Murume: nekuti ndaiti ndikakuverenga nhasi ndobva ndarasa mangwana ndotenga rimwe.

Kudanana nemusikana ari kure

Kudanana nemukomana kana musikana ari joza Iwe uri zim zvakafanana nekudya sadza nemumvuri wehuku

Vakaroorwa valentines haisi yenyu

Kovakadzi vakaroorwa munoda ma
valentine presents eiko ,makamboona
hove irimufiriji ichipihwa maworms?

Masasi ekupenga : kuendeswa out

Hanzi kune mamwe ma babie anoda kuendeswa out every week kunge bin! 

nyadzi - mazhanje

Nyadzi ndedziya dzauno feeler paunomhanyira motor mu highway, achivhura window woona i EX yako apa uri kutengesa mazhanje emusango