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unodya ku kambani kwako

Mumwe mudhara wechiMalawi akanzi ataurire vanhu parufu kuti food yashota iko ndokuti- 
"Pamusoloi mazibaba, pamusoloi mazimai ali kumoto. Tipeiwo zewe zenyu kuno! Nyaya ilipano ndiyakuti chikafu chashota. Saka zichaitika ndezekuti:
  1. Isu Webheliya tichaja nenyama
  2. Hama zemudhuze mudhuze zichaja nakabichi
  3. Wekule kule, zishamwali, masawhila, muno mose munoja kuzimba zenyu.
  4. Ko driver weZUPCO alipo?
Driver: Ehe ndiripo!!!
Vely good. Unoja kukambani kwako!

Kufadza munhu kwakaoma - bofu

Kufadza munhu kwakaoma vakomana! 
Rimwe bofu raigaronyunyuta kuti munondiisira nyama shoma. One day rakaisirwa huku yese muplate. Bofu riya ndokuti "ukaona isu toisirwa huku yese kureva kuti imi matopakurirana mbudzi yake yake"

Nyamba yaenda ne gero

Vamwe vana vakaoma chokwadi... Mumwe mukomana akatumwa namdhara kunotenga 5kgs dzenyama pakudzoka ndokusangana  nebaby rake zvikanzi nebby 'nyama waiwanepi'? 
zvikanzi nemukomana ndeyekubutcher kwedu kana uchida tora iyi ini ndonotora imwe.
Mukomana akanosvika kumba asina chinhu . Baba vaye vainge vakagara mumba namufundisi zvikanzi nababa mwanangu wauya nenyama here zvikanzi hongu baba
zvikanzi rega ndirodze banga tiicheke. 
Baba vachibuda panze mwana ndokuti kuna mufundisi nyama irikutaurwa nababa ndimi murikurodzerwa banga iro , mufundisi vachinzwa izvi ndokutora bhasikoro ravo  vakananga kumba mwana ndokumhanya kunababa zvikanzi murikurodza henyu banga
asi nyama yatizwa nayo namufundusi. Baba ndokutanga kumhanyisa mufundisi  achishevedzera 'mira nenyama unofunga kuti unotiza ukasvikepi banga ndarodza kare'.

Baba vachida kunyima mwana nyama yeku gocha

Vamwe baba vaida kunyima mwana nyama yavaigocha ndokuzadza mhiripiri panyama. Nyama iya payakanga yoda kundoibva, vakaravira kamwe kanhango vachibva vafinyamisa kumeso kuti mwana awone kuti nyama yaivava zvisingaiti.
Mwana uya akabva ati: "Zvino baba mukadaro panyama saka majiggies hamungaagone. Zvotoda isu tajaira".

Chidhakwa chakapinda muButchery

Chidhakwa chakapinda muButchery chichida kutenga nyama:

Chidhakwa: Huku imarii mfana?

Butcherboy: Tinoisa paScale toona kuti imarii.

Chidhakwa: Ndiisire full chicken.

Butcherboy went to the fridge & only one full chicken was left. He picked it up & placed it on the scale.

Butcher boy: Yaita $6 mdhara.

Chidhakwa: Yaita diki, tsvaga zihombe pane dzese. 

Butcher boy took the chicken back & pretended to look for a bigger chicken to fool the drunkard. He comes back with the same chicken and by 

placed it on the scale.

Butcher boy: Zvaita Mdhara chicken iyi yaita $7,50.

Chidhakwa: Huku dzako idiki mfana. Anyway, chindipa dzose dziri two.

Ma clarks edhora

Kwedu kujecha kwatinobva, kwatakazvarirwa...usazoshamisika ka ukanzwa mwana achideedzwa onzi " enda unotenga ma clarks e-$1 tibikire vaenzi" ... anenge atumwa nzondora...

Masasi ekupenga - kusadya nguruve

Wotonzwa vamwe vachiti heee hatidyi nguruve nekuti ndoo makaiswa ma dhimoni a Rigiyoni. But munovaona vachinwa mvura. Koo nguruve dzacho dzakadonhera payi?...muscud here?

Samutoko vachida matumbu mu bhucha

Samutoko vakapinda mu butchery, maitengeswa ne mkadzi :: 
                                                                      
Samutoko: munohura here amai?                                                    
Amai:: mati chii mkwasha.                                         
Samutoko: ndat munohura hre amai?                                            
Amai: asimunopenga makambondiona mubhawa hre ini?                                                 
Samutoko: ndiri kutaura hura ho mombe

Musachapa vana nyama yehuku

Mai vaigara vachibikira vana vavo huku everyday. Zvikanzi nemwanasikana: ndakuda kuudza mama vasatibikire huku.
Mukomana: ko nei?
Musikana: ndakubuda mambava ehuku kuchinhu changu.
Mukomana: aaaah ndaiti ndini ndega hona oooh( kachideredza bhurugwa)
Musikana: ehe nhai manje wewe watova nechimutsipa chehuku.
Mukomana: mutsipa wega here bata uchidzika uone kwatova nemazai 2.
Musikana :ehe sure nhai manjemanje unenge wakutokandira

Takangamwa chigubhu!

Mapenzi 2 akafunga kunotenga huku ndokuenda kubutchery. Asvika one rakaenda pacounter rikati tirikudawo 2 litres dzehuku. Vanhu vaivemo vese vakati bvuu kuseka rimwe benzi riya rikabva raumburuka pasi nekuseka. Riya ndokuti ko urikusekei? Zvikanzi ndirikuseka kuti tirikuda 2 litres dzehuku apa takanganwa chigubhu!

Nyama ndeye sadza

ndanga ndakagara nasstr vekumasvingo vachidya machips avo bvavapedza ndikavabvunza kyt ko nyama maisiirei zvikanzi ndeye sadza

musangoramba muchi bata bata muriwo

Vamwe blaz vaiva pakati pokusarudza bhanduru remuriwo wavaida, ndokunzi nemudzimai wemusika:
"Saka murikungoramba muchingobata bata muriwo sei, chingotorai chero. Munoti pane une nyama pakati here?"

samutoko - hura hwe huku

Samutoko vachitengesa huku nematumbu
acho vachidaidzira havo murokesheni pa
Glen view apo
Zvikanzi; 

"Ndino hura! nohuku!"
"Ndinohura nohuku"

masasi ekupenga: nyama kana kuti mince

Bhaibheri rinoti murume nemukadzi vachava nyama imwe. Saka kana iwe wasangana nevakadzi hobho ichiri nyama here or mince

Muchengeti wenyama nedoro parufu

If yu think money is the only thing that changes step yemunhu then hamusati maona munhu ane key dzepanogara nyama nedoro parufu

  • Anoda kunanzvwa
  • Anoda kuomberwa
  • Ko iko kuzoda kuenda pakahwanda kuti atsvagwe

munamato wemwana anokara

Munamato wemwana anokara: 
Mwari komborerai mai vangu vabike zvinonaka muvabvise mweya wakaipa wekundipakurira 1piece necup yemuto tumirai ngirozi yenyu yetsitsi nemakaro vandiramwire poto yese yehuku ishe dzingai vavengi vangu vanouya panguva dzekudya Amen.