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muzukuru arovha kuchikoro

Ambuya varikudaidza muzukuru wavo: mzukuru hwanda mudzidzisi wako uyo arikuuya hauna kuenda kuchikoro.
Muzukuru: "Hwandai imimi! Ndanga ndatumira shoko rokuti mafa, saka kutouya kuzondibata maoko uku!"

Zvituko hobho

  • Mbuya vako munigga vanodropa zambia vomonerera dhuku mumaoko
  • Baba vakadzingwa basa nenyaya yekutambisa gedhi palunch
  • Haisi mhosva yako,imhosva yema dzitateguru ako aienda kuhondo asina zvombo achitemba kupopota
  • Ndosaka baba vako vakarohwa naamai nenyaya yekuchemera kurara muprema
  • Matama semimba yegonzo!
  • Wakapusa kunge mukadzi wen'anga anodaidza murume wake kuti sekuru
  • Uri benzi wakarega chikoro munhu wawaikopa afa 
  • Kumashure kune chirimi kana wakubudisa mweya kunoti thuuuu.
  • Kumba kunotyiwa aids kwamunobika makapfekedza mugoti condom
  • Kungwarisa kunge wakakura uchichera nyoka
  • Face yakachecheudzwa
  • Mumba menyu mugomba vanhu vakati gogoi unoti wirai
  • Kusviba zvekuti ukapinda musango tsubvu dzose dzinodonha dzichiti IGWEEE
  • Ndosaka wakaenda kuhondo nepinjisi uchiti urikuda kunosunungura Zimbabwe.
  • Kumusha kure kunosvika mapostori akunzi mawhite ninjaa
  • Kusviba kunge blackmarket
  • Dhirezi rako rakahwinwa nababa vako vakunda munhu wese kuridza chiwepu padhibhi.
  • Kuomera ungati chibereko chehure.
  • Kufumuka kunge mukadzi wechigure anonongedzera murume wake achiti ichoo.
  • Wakajaidzwa nambuya vako vaikurova neZambia.

Kuverengerwa tsamba

Mazuva andaishanda kuHowmine Gumede ndiye chete aigona kuverenga saka tsamba dzose dzaiuya ndiye aiverengera vanhu. 
Chakazonetsa Gumede aizoshaya hunhu pakuverenga tsamba kunyanya dzaive namashoko orufu aigona kungoti, "Chimuti mai vafa inda kumusha","Jairosi baba vafa inda kumusha,".
Vanhu vakazomunyeurira kuti aitewo hunhu pakuverenga tsamba. Chishanu chakasvika ndokubva averenga tsamba akabva ati, 'munhu wese anambuya kumusha ngaasimuke', gurusvusvu ravanhu rakabva rasimuka iye akati: "Mudavanhu gara hako pasi hauchina mbuya!!"

Chirwere chakaoma ichi

Paive panyaradzo apo mbatya dzeimwe pfambi dzaigovewa,yakange yafa neAIDS.Ambuya vaigova mbatya vakabva vaona G string ndokuti shuwa chirwere ichi chakaipa kubva chadya bhurugwa remuzukuru wangu kusiya tambo chete.

mbuya vachinamata parufu

Kwakaitika nhamo kwa Murambinda, zvikanzi zvino yave nguva ye body viewing tokumbirawo mbuya vanamate. Mbuya vakanamata vachiti, "God bless our food, amen." 
Vehukama vakabatikana

Utivigirewo maChelsea

Message from gogo varikumusha Muzarabani:
To Muzukuru ariku Harare 
Kisimusi zvawati urikuuya kumusha ndapota undiigirewo Chelsea yacho ndimboidyawo ndanzwa nekudadirwa , aripano Chelsea yadyiwa aripapo takadya Chelsea , neuyu wo rombe rokwa Mangandu uyu Firimoni ndakatomunzwawo futi achitoti tadya Chelsea aaĆ a kwete muzukuru chimbouya nayo kuno timboirakashawo , kana ukaita dziri mbiri Chelsea dzacho

Handibudi panze husiku

Mhofela ne shamwari yake vakanga vakagara pamoto vachimwa havo ngoto (7 days). Mbuya va Mhofela vakanga votsumwaira vari pamoto zvikanzi:
Mhofela: mbuya chiendai munorara muchawira mumoto.
Mbuya: Ndakamirira chi-5Litre changu chamuri kunwira doro. Ndochemba yangu handirari ndisinayo. Handidi zvekubuda buda panze husiku!!!!

Gogo vachipa mutyairi nzungu

Mbuya vakagara zvavo pakadoma just
behind the Kombi driver vaine zvavari
kudya havo.
GOGO: oooh tambira
mwanangu (Vachidaro kuna driver)
vachi mutambidzadriver nzungu shanu,
DRIVER: maita basa zimhandara
(achitambira ndokudya)
GOGO:tambira futi mutyairi (vachimupa
nzungu nhatu) driver anokanda mukanwa.
DRIVER: nhai GOGO manga
matengerei nzungu muchiziva kuti
hamukwanisi kudzidya?
GOGO:haiwawo mwanangu, ndivoka
vazukuru vangu vanditengera
chokoreti ine nzungu, ndoyandiri kuti
ndikasvisvina nzungu dzasara
ndokupawo.

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