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Chi rapa-rapa chana hwindi

Language yema hwindi emuHarare mazuva ano!!

  1. Kutakura mupurisa... 'Ndabata datya.' (coz cops dont pay).
  2. Kuisa Kombi mu neutral... 'Isa gear muhomwe.'
  3. Mune hama dzemuridzi wekombi here muno?... 'Mune ma foam rubber here muno?'
  4. Driver fambisa mota, handei... 'Zora butter mutyairi.'
  5. Daily takings (mari pakupera kwezuva)...'Zvabuda musarudzo.'
  6. Pindai mukombi, musamira panze...'Vabereki wandirai mukati senhumbu.'
  7. Driver ita 140km/hr... 'Driver, tipe $1.40.'
  8. Reverse...'Idyai nesele driver.'
  9. Kutorerwa mapassengers neimwe kombi....'Ndaurayirwa vaenzi.'
  10. Munhu asingade kubhadhara mukombi...'Maita n'anga muno.'
  11.  Maita munhu mudhafu (and therefore hazvisi kuita kuti vagare vari 4 pa seat)...'Iro seat iro rakagarwa nema landlord.

Hwindi anga ashay change

ko mumwe hwindi akazotengera mumwe mupositori midzanga 5 ye Everest pa5rand change yake.

Later in the evening mupositori waited 4 that same kombi ndokubva apinda. Pakubhadhara hwindi ws suprised achipihwa midzanga 5 iya. Imi, pakaita noise

Muface wekudya mabhanzi mu kombi

Mumwe muface akapinda mukombi ane maBuns 30 akabva adya 29 kukasara 1 ambhuya vanga vakagara paside pake vakati kumface "ko mkwasha madii mango pedzisa 1 rasara?" zvikanzi nemface neinzwi riri pamusoro "ndinodya maBuns 30 ndinopenga here?

Kombi iri kumboendepi?

A kombi is going from Harare City Centre to a high density surburb in Warren Park.

Some guy's phone rings,he picks up "honey am on my way to Marondera for a burial, I'll call you when I get there."


Another phone rings & a lady seated in front of an old man picks up & says; "sweetheart am on my way to University of Zimbabwe campus to pick up application forms for a degree, please send me AIRTIME". 


Then another passenger's phone rings and a young girl answers and he says "Daddy, I am on my way to Borrowdale for an interview, I will call you  later"


The old man sitting at the back feels so agitated and in a panicky voice
shouts "Driver Stop!" Where exactly is this kombi going?"

Tese tinopenga

Nyambo anga anzwa nekutsvaka basa... Then finally 1 day akawana basa reku driver paMental hospital... His first job was to transport mapenzi 20 from Harare to Bulawayo - Engutsheni.

Mota yacho yanga yakaita kunge dziye dzekuPrison.. Nyambo was told never to open the truck munzira no matter what... So he set off for Bluez.. Akuda kusvika paNorton rimwe benzi rigotanga noise richida recess.. Nyambo ignored but the noise was too much so he decided kurivhurira for a minute..

Mapenzi ese akabuda achimhanya musango.. Hapana kana raakabata.. He was so stressed.. First day pabasa here amana... Zvisineyi, akabva asvika hake muNorton ndokugaya. Akati zano nderipi.. Akabva adeedzera dhora Bulawayo.. Mota haina kumboita 5 minutes yanga yazara..

Nyambo akarova mota straight to Bluez.. Straight to Engutsheni Mental Hospital.. Apa vanhu vanga vakuita noise coz anga adarika ma stop avo.. Achisvika paHospital vanga vakatomumirira. .

Pavakanzwa noise vakabva vati"haa anhasi aya anenge anopenga moto".. Vanhu vaye the more they explained how they got there, ndopavaitonzi maiwee vabayeyi ma injection tozovaona mangwana.

Hauchadyi nguruve

Muporofita akanyudza mutadzi katatu mumvura ndokuti wava chisikwa chitsva kubva nhasi wamupostori,  hauchadya pork”. 

Mupostori mutsva achisvika kumba akanyudza pork mumvura katatu ndokuti kubva nhasi  wachisikwa chitsva wakunzi beef wakudyiwa”

Chinoz mundege

Saka vakanga vari mundege manje mazuva avaifamba pasi pose madiro, mutyairi wendege kwavakuti imwe hinjini yendege yaisisiri kushanda zvakanaka, then muface manje Chinoz kwavakuti, " a-aah zvatirisu vemunyama tichahi burukai musunde".

Ku jaira hu hwindi

Hwindi akatora driver's licence ndokubva apuromotwa kuita dhiraivha wekombi. First week yake yekutyaira  was quite an experiance for him. Mangwanani atakura vanhu kuenda kuSunshine City (Harare) weather kwakwiite change tumashowers kwaakunaye. Driver wekombi kwakumise mota kuti agadziridze ma wipers kuti agonyatsoona nzira.

Paakapedza akadzoka akasvikogara kwaiva nemapasenja. After five minutes akazobvunzwa ne passenger kuti "Hausiwe urikudhiraivha here????"

Chinoz ku movie

Chinoz went ku eastgate achida kuona movie. Saka asvika pamovie house akaona panyorwa kuti NO UNDER 18 ndokubva dzarova speed kuenda kuden. 

Madam vakashama kuona shasha yakurumidza kudzoka ikati regayi ndibvunze.
"Zvaita seiko Baba makurumidza kudzoka". Chinoz akati:
"Ndashayiwa vanhu 17 vekupinda navo mumovie".

Mukanya on Chopper

Kwahi naMukanya, "a-aah ndakanga ndisingazivi kuti kuridza mhururu nemuridzo
kunoitisa mari, uyu mufana Chimbetu avakufamba neBenz".

Unoda kuuraiyisa mhuri yese

Mumwe muface aibva kunorova mbanje achibva awsvika paden ndokuwana gezha yapopa
kubva kurifazi, achibva akena muddenazi ndokubva ati manheru baba maswera sei?,
ngezha ndokudavira, achibva apinda mubedroom make kuti ambonoviga mbanje dzanga
dzasara, adzoka musitting room manga mune ngezha achibva ati manheru maswera
sei?, achibva apfuurira kuenda kukitchen ndokutora sadza rake achibva asvikogara
ndokubva ati manheru maswera sei?, apa ngezha yaiva yamutarisa nepamusoro
penewspaper yayaiverenga, dzichibva dzarova skero, dzapedza ndobva dzanodzosera
maplates kukichini achibva asvikoti manheru baba maswera sei?, apa ngezha haina
kupindura, achibva agara pasofa, kamunin'ina kake kachibva kauya kuseri kwesofa
kachiti vha -aamumu vhaaaamu, yava 20, vhaaaamu yava mu50, kachiramba
kachingodaro kusvika kava mu180, a-aah blaz vembanje vachibva vasimuka
ndokuvhara nembama hanzi iwe inotibheutsa unoda kuuraiyisa mhuri yese.

Asi chii nhai mai mutasa

Ko yakazoitika, VaChisvo vakanyimwa pakati one day nawifers. Vakazama kukumbira madam ikati mayazi ndakaneta. Saka munoketa kana yamira samanyika yamira..so SaChisvo dzikati adzimai woye ini hangu handingazvikuriri onai zvekuita. Mai bhoi ikati no, torai $50 mudzika neraini, handifungi kuti mungashaya wekukwira. Chisvo dzakamhanya after 1hr ndokuzodzoka. Madam ikarova inquiries kobaba mawana here zvamafambira. SaChisvo ikasasa kuti ndazokiya mai vanogara panhamba 5.

Chopazi madam yakabvunza how much the man paid and he had paid yese $50. Zvikanzi namadam asi Mai Mutasa chii nhai, vakuitirai $50 asi vaMutasa ndinosovaitira $20..Asi chii..

kwedu azere aya

Hie guys ko hanzi Kabila, Bob and Bush and Hunzvi were in a plane vachiienda somewhere to discuss nyaya yemaWar Vets yanetsa. Manje hanzi, Kabila kakabva kabuditsa diamond kakakanda nepawhindo. The other two were shocked zvikanzi dont worry we have lots of those in our country. Then Bush akabva katora ma US kakaitawo, hanzi dont worry we have a lot of those in  our country. Bob ndopaakashaya kuti wotiyi nekuti kuZim zvakapressa hakuna iriko.. ndopaakabata kaHunzvi akakakanda panze.. Everybody was shocked,,
hanzi na Bob, dont worry we have a lot of those in our country.

Tazvida angabudirira ku america here va Mapfumo?

Vanzi Vamukanya vakanga vachangobva ku states saka vakabva vamboita interview vachangosvika pa airport:

Reporter: Ko vamapfumo kwanga kwakadii kumhiri kwemakunga kamakanga muri uku
Mapfumo: Ha ndakafarirwa zvekuti mumashows mangu maitozara vanhu vachitotsikidzirana
Reporter: Ko vaTazvida(system) vanga vachida kuzoendawo .Munoonawo vachibudirirawo here?
Mapfomo: Mmmm handifunge kudaro nekuti hakuna mapurazi akawanda

Ndanga ndadya mushonga

Kablaz kaya kekuMalawi kakazoenda kumba kwegero rako rainzi Maggie saka asvika pagate akasangana nababa vaMaggie achibva avakuvabvunza,hanzi ko Maggie aripo? baba vacho vachibva vati kwete, zvikanzi Tete acho aripo, zvikanzi kwete, ko munin'ina acho aripo, dzikati  kwete futi, kachibva kabvunza futi ko amai acho aripo, zvikanzi kwete, kachibva kabata musoro kachijamuka hanzi," manje baba ndanga ndanja mushonga".