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masasi ekupenga - kuturunura mapic a bob

Mabasa atotanga kuwànikwa kuri kudiwa vanhu varefu vachafamba maOffices vachiturunura mapotraits aMugabe
basa Robert Mugabe operation restore legacy

masasi ekupenga - adzoka

Ndapepuka ndanzwa vanhu vachideedzera kuti adzoka hana yangu yarova ndichiti ndiMugabe ndazofara ndanzwa kuti MAGETSI
Robert Mugabe magetsi operation restore legacy

mazita anotanga naChi - Chinoz

Hanzi naChinotimba mazita anotanga naChi-/Ch- anogona kuitisa mamillion ukapedzisirwa wasungwa naChiwenga
  • Chombo
  • Chiyangwa
  • Chipanga
  • Chihuri
Wopedzisira wapaChikurubhi

Kubva nhasi ndaakunzi Tinotimba or Cde Tinoz
chinoz Ignatius Chombo Phillip Chiyangwa coup operation restore legacy Augustine Chihuri Kudzai Chipanga

masasi ekupenga - kuroora kwaro

Vamwe venyu pano matomirira Jah Prayzah kuti aimbe "kuroora kwaro gamba" ndokuti muzoroora...
roora Jah Prayzah kutonga kwaro

vaMugabe vakaramba kuenda kumakuva

BREAKING NEWS: Hanzi former President RG Mugabe varamba kuenda kunhamo kuHeroes Acre kundoviga Timothy Stamps vachiti ndinoitwa zvakaitwa Jah Prayzah
heroes acre Robert Mugabe Jah Prayzah Mukudzeyi Mukombe Timothy Stamps

zvichaita kuti ndimuke chipoko

Mukazoona ndomuka chipoko_zvimwe zvacho ndeizvi
1.Kundiisa paprof pic ndafa
2.Kuchera guva zvakanyanya kudzika
3.Kuimba mchiita knge mktonakidzwa nekufa kwangu
4.Kudya rice parufu
5.Kuuya nemazifoni enyu muchindipikicha,ndipikichei izvezvi
6.Kuisa guva rangu kumapeto
7.Kunditi "famba zvkanaka"kuendepi?
8.Kusanamatira kt ndimuke
9.Kundidongorera paboard viewing uri kure
10.Kungoseka seka panhamo yangu 
nhamo rufu whatsapp profile pic

muzukuru nhubu

Jonso anotora phone yambuya oisa pasilent. Mbuya vanonetseka kuti ko hindava phone isiku ringer pairikufonerwa heyo conversation:

Mbuya: Jonhii sei foni yangu isingarire ikafonerwa waaiitei? 
Jonso: Hapana zvandaita ini unzai tione. (Jonso anotora phone onyepera kutarisa) Aaah gogo yapera maringtone saka anoda kutotengerwa manewone. 
Mbuya: Aaaah hezvo ko zvazvinonetsazve zvechirungu zvacho nezuro waiti yapera mapliz call ndikakupa $8 ukanotenga saka izvi zvoda marii zvimaring zvacho? 
Jonso: (Yakamanga maserious) Aaah zvagogo vasikana ndipei $15 ndonegotiator nevanotengesa vacho. (Mbuya ndiye wetsu ka$15)

whatsapp nhubu ringtone

Ndebele surnames...

Caller: Hello may I please speak to Mr Ndlovu?
Receptionist: Sorry he is in a meeting with Mr Ngulube.
Caller: Who else can I speak with about a quotation?
Receptionist: Either Mr Nyoni, who is standing in for Mr Dube, or Mr Ngwenya.
Caller: Thank you. Please connect me to either one of them. By the way, who am I speaking to?
Receptionist: Miss Nkomo.
Caller: Hey, is that company or a zoo? .
nkomo ndebele ndlovu ngulube nyoni ngwenya dube

To those abazi isiNdebele
We are having idili at home and we been waiting for our father as an elder to come and lead the proceedings, unfortunately his leave wasn't granted and he sent us a letter that read
"Angisakwazanga ukuza ngoba umsebenzi umningi lapha efemini ngalokho amaboss athi ngeke ngikwazi ukuza lapho ekhaya, umfowethu omncane akathathe indawo yami umsebenzi wenziwe, inkomo ingahlatshwa"
Now we are all wondering ingabe uthi inkomo ingahlatshwa kumbe uthi inkomo ingahlatshwa uthini kahlekahle umdala sizani zihlobo kuyaphuthuma umsebenzi umile ngendaba yenkomo,  ingahlatshwa kumbe ingahlatshwa?
ndebele inkomo umsebenzi

kuvanda munhu wechikwereti

Ndini uyo ndiri paden nevana vangu ndakaona munhu we chikwereti achiuya asi kuti nditize zvanga  zvisingaiti. Ndakabva ndazvikwidibira nezi dish!!. 
Munhu we chikwereti akabvunza baba varipo here ZVIKANZI HAVAPO, zvikanzi kana vauya muvaudze kuti ndatora dish. 
chikwereti

masasi ekupenga - shura mukombi

Shura raitwa mukombi nhasi. Chisikana kubvisa bra.. chikomana kuto bata bata mazamhu ndokutotanga kuyamwa zamhu kombi yakazara nevanhu paya.  Chisikana 25 years .. chikomana 3 months.. mangamatii
kombi

masasi ekupenga - kuzora zvekutsvukisa

BREAKING NEWS:

We are going to conduct Operation restore original skin as from 01-01-18. Real yellow borns are safe but we are targeting criminals around them especially vaya vanotsvuka vakura
yellow born operation restore legacy ganda

masasi ekupenga - alarm

Wakambopa mukadzi phone, otsvaga oshaya mhosva. After 30mins, obva ati: "alarm iyi makaiisa muchida kuenda kupi?"
mukadzi whatsapp masasi ekupenga alarm

Kuwudzana mashoko erudo

Madzimai EkuChurch Paruwadzano..

Pastor: Makapedzisira riini kuudza varume venyu kuti "ndinokuda"
Madzmai: Nezuro b4 bed, nhasi kuseni ndaakubuda, manheru, haa daily etc.
Pastor: Shuwa shuwa here madzmai?
Madzimai: Shuwa pamberi paMwari!!!!
Pastor: Ok.Torai mafon enyu.Mumwe nemumwe ngaasende msge yekuti "Ndinokuda" kumurume wake.

Vese vakasender.

Pastor: Chichinjanai mafon enyu makagarisana kudaro.Vese vakachinjana.
Pastor: Mumwe nemumwe achaverenga mhinduro ichauya pafon yaainayo iyoyo ngatitererei tichinzwa.
Mhinduro dzakatanga kunaya kubva kuvarume vemadzimai eruwadzano. Imi woye:

  1. Asi warasika ??
  2. Aaa ndiyani wangu uyu??
  3. Aa muri kurota here??
  4. Zvaitasei??
  5. What do u mean??
  6. Asi urikuda mari??
  7. Usade kundinzwa wanzwa!'
  8. Asi waroveresa mota yangu kanhi ?
  9. To hell wanzwa!!
  10. Ndiwo majokes andisingadeee!!
  11. Mesge ngaidzokere kumuridzi wayo iyo!!
  12. Uchafa nekurohwa nhasi, pfambi yemunhu, uchandiudza hako manheru kuti message iyo ndeyani?
Garai muchiudzana mashoko erudo veduweee .
mukadzi murume church whatsapp rudo ruwadzano

mudzimai simbe asi shasha pane zvimwe

Ukaroora mukadzi wako ane usimbe  asi ari shasha pabonde, hama dzinoedza kupopota dzichikuudza zveusimbe hwake. Vamwe vanoti murambe, vamwe vanoti chino nechino asi iwe kuti uvaudze kuti ishasha pabonde zvinogumira parurimi. Unoguma wongoti " kungoti chete hamumuzivi!"
mukadzi murume bonde simbe

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