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Zimbo Acronyms

  • E.S.A.P = Edzai Sithole, Apa Paramba
  • Zanu P.F = Zanu Petrol Finished
  • M.D.C = More Diesel Coming

zanu pf - rugare, joy, simba

Zanu pf haisisina Simba,
Zanu pf haisisina Midzi
Zanupf haichina weku Themba
Zanu pf haisisina Rugare
lnogona kudzoka kuCongress isisina Joy. Yadyiwa nemujuru

zanu pf - vote of no confidence

Ndiri worried zvisingaite, ndawana mukadzi nevana vachitaurira pasi pasi. Pandangopinda vanyarara, ndiri kufunga vanga vachitaura zve Vote of no Confidence on me. Kana kupinda mutoilet chaimo ndiri kutya kuvasiya vega.Ndoitawo sei vanhuwe?

whatsapp group admins

All WhatsApp Group Administrators are invited to a Meeting With Amai Grace Mugabe (PHD) in Mazowe

big brother zanu pf

Welcome to Big Brother Zanu PF, last week we witnessed the eviction of Rugare Gumbo, this week we saw Ray Kaukonde being evicted. Joyce Mujuru has been nominated for eviction next week, continue to vote and save your favourite housemate. It looks like Jonathan Moyo is safe and he is likely to walk away wth the $300 000 prize money.

Zimbabwe 2014 Awards

End of year awards
  1. Disease of the year - Ebola
  2. Sabhuku of the year - Vharazipi
  3. Drink of the year - twizza
  4. Social network of the year - Whatsapp
  5. Prophet of the year - W Magaya
  6. Comedian of the year - Mdara Chinoz
  7. The Church with more graduates in karate - kumasowe kuye kwekurohwa police
  8. Harlot of the year - Bev
  9. The most powerful party - Zanu PF
  10. (9) Doctor of the year - Doctor Amai Grace Mugabe

chikwata chiri kutsvaka basa

Ukanzwa anoda vakomana 2 vemombe ndinavo Goche na Mutasa and vanoda DJ ndina Shamhu. Vanoda barman ndina Mavhaire, musikana wemumba ndina Mujuru, wemwana ndina Muchena. Pliz vanhu ava vanoda basa iri nezuro chaiye ok

Yambiro kuva paridzi - mboko

WARNING!

ATT: To all preachers

Pullpit language adjustment to all the devil cursers. Zviya zvekutukirira Satan muchiti "satan imphoko!!!" To be stopped with immediate effect. Mphoko is the new Zanu PF and Zimbabwe 2nd Vice President. Kana zvanetsa mungatoti "satan mujuru!!!!"

Gore rezvidzidzo - kuzviuraiwa

Izwi ra nhasi: 
KUZVIURAIWA.

A situation where some senior person is murdered but reported as suicide.

Heat Wave 2015 - Huori

Nehuori hwemu Zimbabwe munogona kutoishaya heat wave iyoyi ikunzi ikuuya paweekend Mashefu agovana ega!

Mitengo yegore ra 2008

Muchazviziva here kuti musi wa 15 October 2008 mitengo yanga yakadai:

  • Loaf re chingwa—Z$14 000 000-00
  • 2kg sugar—Z$60 million
  • Box rematches—Z$2 million
  • 2L cooking oil 一Z$85 000 000-00
  • 2L paraffin   一Z$35 million
  • Exercise book A4一Z$9,5 million
  • Eversharp 15M  一Z$5m
  • Harare to Mutare 一Z$950 000 000-00
  • Frm S.A to Harare in rands R150 to Z$50 000 000 000 / 50 billion
  • TV, bed 一Z$1 quad
  • Motor bik 一Z$3,5 Trillion

Political Tsumo dzemuZimbabwe

1. Kudada kwevariku State House kuputsira vanogara Glen View dzimba
2. Aive maVice President ave maGamatox
3. Chisingaperi chinoshura Dydmus Mutasa avekugara kumusha
4. Chiri muParliament chinozvinzwira
5. Chinoziva iZANU PF kuti Chinks anorwara
6. Rinokambena rinohwarara rinozoputsa dzimba rahwina
7.Tsitsi dzeyi politician kukupa munda mahara
8. Dai ndisina hangu kumuvhotera haitungamire
9. Kure kwemu politician ndiko kusina Vote
10. Ndambakuudzwa akazoputsirwa imba kuGlen View
11. Chivhotere mangwana chigokuputsira imba
12. Aive maSecurity Guard kuCity Council ave maMember of Parliament.                
13. Kurera Hurumende nevoti mangwana inofuma yakudzinga basa....

Chinoz - 1Million Man March 2016

Reporter: Vachinoz maiona sei march yanhasi? Chinoz: Yabudirira hayo asi pakaitwa mistake nokuti yaifanira kunzi 1Million Man May nekuti March akatopfuura!

Ndichaka guta, tadya Zanu PF

Husband: Babe dont worry about preparing me some food. Ndichakazvimbirwa, tichangobva zvedu kudya Zanu PF paNorton apo.

ku winner kwa Mliswa kwaka vhiringa ma stand eku norton

Roja: mamuka sei landlord?
Landlord: tamuka mamukawo
Roja:ndanga ndichida kukuudzai kuti ndapinda ndapinda.
Landlord: uri kuti kudii ko iwe?
Roja: imba yenyu yaidhura plus taingotenga magetsi imi musinga tengi
Landlord: aka?
Roja: ndapiwa chibage plus mafuta ekubikisa ne stand ne ZANU-PF.
Landlord:taura nyaya yako
Roja:kupera kwemwedzi ndava kubva pano ndonogara Ku stand kwangu
Landlord: OK zvakana.

(next day after Themba Mliswa wins by elections)
Roja:kupera kwemwedzi handichabuda pamba pano nekuti bato redu radyiwa saka ma stands atakavimbiswa hakuchina.
Landlord: handiti wamuwona munhu abva pano nguva dziya?
Roja: ehe ndamuwona.
Landlord: ato bhadhara rent yekupinda mumba mako.mari yacho ndatumira mwana  Ku boarding school.
Roja:saka ndoita sei ??
Landlord: bvunza bato rako.

US Election - zanu fp pfee

USA Election Current Update
Donald Trump - 18.5%
Hilary Clinton - 26.5%
Zanu Pf - 55.0%

Huwori hwakatanga paGreat Zimbabwe

Corruption (huwori) haina kutanga nhasi. I'm sure great Zimbabwe kuzomira isina simende was not the initial design but some corrupt official akadya mari ye simende ikatozovakwa pasina. 

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