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Kablazo kaka birwa watch mu bhazi

Hanzi kamwe kablazo kanga kakaonda moto kakabirwa watch yako pa'pressure' yekukwira mubhazi. Kakwira mubhazi kakamira padoor ndokudaidzira kachiti, "aba watch yangu ngaadzose kana kuti ndokurovai mose." 

Hapana akadaira saka kakabva katanga kurova munhu wese anga ari mubhazi umu mambama. Kakasvika panerimwe zi-giant rakanga ririmonya moto, ndokuriti mbama, mbama. Giant
rakasimuka ndokudaidzira kunadriver kuit amise bhazi. Vanhu vakatanga kuombera
maoko vachidaidzira kuti nhasi kablazo kavekuzosotwa.

Giant rakabva ramira padoor rebhazi rakamisa mamhasuru richidaidzira richiti , "Kana pane  aba watch yemuchinda uyu ngaamudzosere vanhuwe, mungatikuvadzise."

Musalala ku back seat

 Kamwe kamusalala kachimoko kakakwira kombi kachienda kuMabvuku. Kanga kaka pfeka bhandana haikona, kaspaghetti nehipster. Kainhuwirira uku cellars yemari iri mumaoko waona. Maface aingokaaya imwe iya iya yechiboyz.  Kakagara kuback seat kachirova zvako pitza. These 2 guys vakatanga kukati ndeipiko geriza. Unonzani? Ende unoita manje. Hakana kupindura kaingo tarisa vanhu vese mukombi kachiita kunga kari kuona matuzvi Vakaramba  vachingokanetsa kachingoignorewa. Whindi ndiye akazoti, "chiiko kuback seat chanetsa?? Boyz dzakasheedzera kuti, " SHAZ KAMUSALALA AKA
KASURA WAONA,  MANJE KARI KURAMBA KUTIVHURIRAWO WINDOW...."

Kombi iri kumboendepi?

A kombi is going from Harare City Centre to a high density surburb in Warren Park.

Some guy's phone rings,he picks up "honey am on my way to Marondera for a burial, I'll call you when I get there."


Another phone rings & a lady seated in front of an old man picks up & says; "sweetheart am on my way to University of Zimbabwe campus to pick up application forms for a degree, please send me AIRTIME". 


Then another passenger's phone rings and a young girl answers and he says "Daddy, I am on my way to Borrowdale for an interview, I will call you  later"


The old man sitting at the back feels so agitated and in a panicky voice
shouts "Driver Stop!" Where exactly is this kombi going?"

Muface wekudya mabhanzi mu kombi

Mumwe muface akapinda mukombi ane maBuns 30 akabva adya 29 kukasara 1 ambhuya vanga vakagara paside pake vakati kumface "ko mkwasha madii mango pedzisa 1 rasara?" zvikanzi nemface neinzwi riri pamusoro "ndinodya maBuns 30 ndinopenga here?

Hwindi anga ashay change

ko mumwe hwindi akazotengera mumwe mupositori midzanga 5 ye Everest pa5rand change yake.

Later in the evening mupositori waited 4 that same kombi ndokubva apinda. Pakubhadhara hwindi ws suprised achipihwa midzanga 5 iya. Imi, pakaita noise

Chi rapa-rapa chana hwindi

Language yema hwindi emuHarare mazuva ano!!

  1. Kutakura mupurisa... 'Ndabata datya.' (coz cops dont pay).
  2. Kuisa Kombi mu neutral... 'Isa gear muhomwe.'
  3. Mune hama dzemuridzi wekombi here muno?... 'Mune ma foam rubber here muno?'
  4. Driver fambisa mota, handei... 'Zora butter mutyairi.'
  5. Daily takings (mari pakupera kwezuva)...'Zvabuda musarudzo.'
  6. Pindai mukombi, musamira panze...'Vabereki wandirai mukati senhumbu.'
  7. Driver ita 140km/hr... 'Driver, tipe $1.40.'
  8. Reverse...'Idyai nesele driver.'
  9. Kutorerwa mapassengers neimwe kombi....'Ndaurayirwa vaenzi.'
  10. Munhu asingade kubhadhara mukombi...'Maita n'anga muno.'
  11.  Maita munhu mudhafu (and therefore hazvisi kuita kuti vagare vari 4 pa seat)...'Iro seat iro rakagarwa nema landlord.

Mukombi hamu rarwe

Hwindi achimutsa vamwe blazo vanga varara mu kombi:
Mudhara mudhara mukai apa mukombi hamurarwe kana makuita zvekurara takukubhadharisai mari yeLodge o yemuhotera manje. muchazotiridzira mamwe gitare asiriwo.

Kombi imarii?

Vamwe ambuya vakamira pabus stop varikuda kuenda kutown kombi ndobva yamira 
hwindi: Town town town
ambuya: Kombi yenyu imarii nhai mukwasha
hwindi: ambuya kombi haisi kutengeswa iyi irikuenda kutown.
ambuya: ndati irikuita marii
hwindi: haisi kutengeswa mhani, driver rova mota tiende.

Pakavhurwa Pizza Inn mu Harare

a guy on his cell phone mukombi: "ehh ndeipi?, ndakutosvika ndaapadhuze.... yah, fanobika sadza, and dont worry about muriwo, NDATENGA PIZZA!!!

kurovero door re kombi

umwe blazo akapinda mukombi kwakurovera doo, achivhara zvikanzi na hwindi:

 ''nhai mudhara fridge  yekumba kwenyu munorovera saizvozvo here?", zvikanzi na blazo: 

"handisati ndamboivhara ndirimukati!"

Ka hwindi kechidiki

Amai vakatengera mwana toy yekombi. Kakomana kakatanga kuitambisa kachideedzera kachiti "vabereki 4 4, Tafara Mabvuku kwagogo! Ko imi makamirirei? Murimhata" The mother overheard her son and was angry. She took away the toy and hid it. After a while vakanzwa tsitsi mwana wavo angonyarara. She give him the toy bck. Gare gare vakanzwa mwana akudeedzera achiti "vabereki tadzoka handei 4 4 Mabvuku, soriyi mota yanga yatorwa nekahure ketraffic!

Private number hello...

Takagara mukombie fon yevamwe blaz yorira, ndobva vakumbira kuti driver adzikise volume...kombie yese vanhu ziiii. Blaz: Private number....Hallooo????, eish!!! "handisikunzwa chinhu",(ndobva aisa fon paloud speaker). Caller: (Shouts) "Ndati Wadyirei polony yemwana?"

Ndichapa sekuru mukaka wako

Mdhara Serebhu ari mubhazi achibva kubasa akuenda kumba kwake kuWaterfalls akagara paside pemukadzi arikuyamwisa mwana wake apa mwana arikuramba kuyamwa. Mai vaye vanotyisidzira mwana wavo vachiti, ''ukaramba kuyamwa ndichapa hangu sekuru ava mukaka wako'', Bhazi ratifambe fambe vava paroundabout mwana uye achingoramba kuyamwa mai vaye vanopamha zvakare kuti, ''yamwa iwe ndisati ndapa sekuru awa'' , ipapo Mdhara Serebhu anotarisa kuna mai vaye obva ati , ''ambuya rongai zvinhu zvenyu ka1 kana muchindipa ingondipai izvozvi zamhu racho ndiyamwe, hangu mabvira kudhara muchingoti muchandipa zvino ndakangogara muno apa ndanga ndichifanira kuburukira paZindoga'

tione number yawafona...

mumwe murume akakwira kombi ndokuda kuona pfungwa dzevarume vaivemo kwakudialer 3 digits ndokunyepedzera kufona hanzi 
"sorry babes handichakwanisa kuuya ndakwira kombi nemrume wako",

 kkkkkkkkkkk hanzi varume vakavava zvikanzi tione number yawafona 

driver dzora volume

Vamwe mai mukombi vakafonerwa vakati driver ndinokumbirawo udzikise volume yeradio yako. Driver akadzikisa volume vanhu vese mukombi vakanyarara. Mai vaye vakaisawo foni yavo pa loud vakati: "Hallo baba vaChipo matiiko?" zvikanzi  nemurume: "Ndati sei wasiya usina kurasa weti yako irimubucket?"

Yekumba kwenyu munoroverawo here

Dzimwe mhinduro dzinopedza power. Mudhara Danda akapinda mukombi kwakurovera door achivhara. 
Driver: "Nhai mudhara, fridge yekumba kwenyu munorovera door saizvozvo here?" 
Mudhara Danda: " handisati ndamboivhara ndiri mukati!!!!!"

makandi chembedza asi...

Zvandaona zvakanyorwa pane chimwe chi old model Bus chekuMbare ..“Makandichembedza iko zvino hamuchadi kundikwira”

hure iri rasiyana nemamwe

Man going kuBhawa nemukadzi wake kunotandara vachimwa murume ndokuenda kutoilet mukadzi asara rimwe hure ndokuti utange wapiwa mari murume iyeye haabhadhari uye haadi condom mukadzi ndokungoti hoo ndokuuya vamwe two futi vachitaura same statement murume achingopinda kubva kutoilet akawana mukadzi atotsamwa ndokusvikonzi hande tonopedzerana tave kumba vachongonopinda muTax mukadzi ayingopenga dzamara tax driver ati hure raurinaro nhasi rinopenga rasiyana nemamwe aunosimbouya nawo.

chinoz - mukombi, urikuenda kupi?

*Chinoz vachipinda mu kombi**       

Driver: Urikuenda kupi shamwari.                                

Chinoz: Ku back seat!!

Tiri kuendepi tisina kugeza?

Ndakakwira kombi nevamwe amai nekamwana kavo, kombi yese yati zii kamwana ndokuti "mama tirikuendepi tisina kugeza?"

kombi - ndibvisewo

A beautiful young lady was sitting next to a man in a combi, she was so sexy, and then she said to the guy "excuse me, unonzi ani?"
Guy said " Codza "
Then she said " Codza, can you please help me remove something from my breasts?" 
The excited young man replied and said " it will be my pleasure, what is it?"
Then the woman said "your eyes! idiot!"

Gogo vachipa mutyairi nzungu

Mbuya vakagara zvavo pakadoma just
behind the Kombi driver vaine zvavari
kudya havo.
GOGO: oooh tambira
mwanangu (Vachidaro kuna driver)
vachi mutambidzadriver nzungu shanu,
DRIVER: maita basa zimhandara
(achitambira ndokudya)
GOGO:tambira futi mutyairi (vachimupa
nzungu nhatu) driver anokanda mukanwa.
DRIVER: nhai GOGO manga
matengerei nzungu muchiziva kuti
hamukwanisi kudzidya?
GOGO:haiwawo mwanangu, ndivoka
vazukuru vangu vanditengera
chokoreti ine nzungu, ndoyandiri kuti
ndikasvisvina nzungu dzasara
ndokupawo.

Blaz vekuda kuonererwa mukombi

Umwe mukomana akapinda mukombi achida kuzviita wemhando yepamusoro,anoona umwe musikana akanaka ndokuti sisi face yenyu haisi itsvaa kwandiri.Sisi ndokuti chokwadi haisi ndini ndinokupai maARV pahospital

Chii chinokonzeresa izvi?

  1. Kungopinda mubhazi wakuda kutenga nepawindow iwe wanga wakamira panze bhazi risati rauya.
  2. Kungokwira rori wakudeedzera nekutukirira vari panze.
  3. Kungotanga kugeza kwakutotanga kuimba apa hauna voice racho futi,nxa!.
  4. Kungorara pabed wototanga kubrowser phone pafacebook nepawhatsapp.
  5. Kungopinda mundege wakuda kutaura chirungu.
  6. Kungopihwa tea wakuda nechingwa.
  7. Kungopinda mukombi wakuda coin
  8. Kungomhoreswa nemukomana wakutofunga uri kuda kunyengwa
  9. Kungoona ari kunwa scud yake wava kutobvunza kuti riri sei nhasi?
  10. kungoona munhu anezuda nendebvu makutoti mupostori!.
  11. 11 . Kungoona Rasta wavakutofunga kuti anosvuta mbanj
  12. 12 Kungoona mukadzi mubhawa wakutoti ihure 

Mubhaibheri hamuna Zim Dancehall!

Madzibaba anopinda mukombi vati fambei mutyairi anotanga kuridza Zim dancehall. 
Madzibaba ndokuti "Munhu wamwari bvisa izvo mubhaibheri chaimo hatina kumbonzwa kuti vanhu vaiteerera zvakadaro.!          
Mutyairi anomisa mota ovhurira madzibaba door oti: "dzikai zvenyu pano mdara"
Madzibaba anobvunza " Ko zvaitaseizve nhai munhu wamwari?"
Zvikanzi nemutyairi: "Isuwo hatina kumbopaona mubible pakanzi vanhu vaifamba nemataxi.Chimirirai ngamera nembongoro zvaitakura vanhu nguva iyi.

Masasi ema hwindi - Ndipei ndibate katsoko

Vamwe amai vakapinda mubhazi vakabata mwana wavo m umawoko. Hwindi akaramba akaatarisa mwana wavo ndokubva ati kwavari, "Amai, kutaura chokwadi handisati ndamboona mwana akashata kunge wenyu".

Amai vaye vakangomutarisa ndokuenda kuback seat ndokusvikogara paside pemumwe murume vachibva vati kwaari,"munoziva mahwindi anodenha zvenyu,uyo aripadoor angondiwanzira ndisina kumbotaura naye mufunge".murume uya ndokuti,"vanoda kutukwa,endai munomuudza magaramoyo ndosara ndakakubatirai tsoko yenyu".

Masasi ema hwindi - Munorara paveranda here?

Conductor: Mdhara garai seat iro rekumashure...
Mdhara: Ndirikuda kukurumidza kudzika.
Conductor: saka nhai mudhara kana muchida kukurumidza kumuka munorara paVerandah here

Chinoz - peturo yapera mukombi

Driver:  mudhara hapachina kwatichakwanisa kuenda mota yapera peturu.

Chinoz : iwe usada kundijairira, haungandiudze kuti mota yapera peturu iyo radio ichirira!

Masasi ekupenga - kombi yakazara

Ukaona musoro wa hwindi ziva kuti kombi ichirikuda vanhu but ukaona magaro ake ziva kuti yazara

Driver iwe speed yako yakawandisa

Zvidhakwa 3 zvakakwira taxi zvakadhakwa heavy. Taxi driver akangostarter mota akabva adzima akati tasvika vasina kumbofamba Chidhakwa 1 chakaburuka chakatenda;chidhakwa 2 chakaburitsa mari chikabhadhara. Chechi 3 chakapa driver zimbama. Driver akafunga kuti raona zvaitika akabva abvunza kuti ko wandiroverei? Chidhakwa chikati speed yako yakawandisa, ko dai watiuraya

kumwisa mwana uchi baya baya whatsapp

Zvakawoma zvemunyika. Ndasangana nevamwe sisi makuseni zamhu rimwechete riripanze vakatakura Handbag apa vari busy paWhatsapp ndakavabvunza ukuti indava vachifamba zamhu riripanze ririkurwadza here. Sisi vabva vakanda Handbag pasi vakabata muzoro vachiridza mhere ndakashamisika ini ndikati indava sisi ,vakati ndakangamwa mwana mukombi...

Whatsapp nikisi mhani

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