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Ndakangamwa manhingi angu

Vamwe baba vakadaidaidzwa kuinterview.Musi weinterview waka svika.So he woke up early for the interview.Vakasvika about 15 minute earlier.Vakatambirwa nekasecretary kechinose,zvikanzi asecretary "good morning sir,what can I do 4 yu?"Blaz vheti yaivanetsa zvakaipisisa,vakabva vapindura vachiti Morning,I have come for intervals.Secretary akabva aseka zvakabhowa blaz,blaz vakange vatobvisa maglaz emaziso vaisa patable yasecretary nekubhowekana vakabva vasimuka zvimwe zvechiramwa zviye zviye apa amnga muri muninth floor.By the time akasvika paground floor akabva afeeler kuti akanganwa maglaz ake.So he went back kuna secretary.Secretary ndokuti Oooh sir yu have come back again.Sekuru ndokuti well I have forgotten my testicles

Ndofira maBanana

Mumwe muchinda aishanda pafarm yemurungu. One day akatumwa kutemha maBanana. Muchinda uyu akakwira mumuBanana akadonha zvakaipisisa kwazvo. Murungu akabva amhanya zvikuru akawana muchinda uya achiri pasi akangoti zii. 

Murungu akabva ati: "How do you feel?" 
Muchinda uya ndokubva ati: " Ndofira maBanana enyu Bhasi!!!!!!!"

Yango nyarara yega...

Manje mumwe muchinda airima netractor papurazi remurungu. Tractor iye yakabva  yangoerekana yanyarara. 

Murungu akasvika akati " whats wrong?"

Muchinda uye akadavira achiti "just shut up!", apa aida kuti yangonyarara!

Chinozi vachi shandura muriwo

Chinoz akafonerwa neshamwari yake achipindura muriwo saka shamwari yake  yakamubvunza nechirungu ikati 'what are you doing?' Chinoz dzikati 'l am busy replying vegetables'

blazo achipa ma directions

Weduwe chirungu chakaoma wee!! Umwe mdara was giving directions to a white man.. Go straight then refuse with the road (ramba une nzira) and u will see a big education (high school), kon left (turn left) then u will see a robocop (robot); go down and u will see a big nothing (open space), kon right (turn right), then u will see sunday (church), pass it and pass funeral (cemetery) then u svik (arrive).

interview dze vakomana vebhora

Interviews nevakomana ve nhabvu

Dumisani Mpofu
Interviewer : Dumi, you really seemed to enjoy the game
Dumisani: Yes, the game was very much delicious.

Memory Mucherahowa
Interviewer: Memo, how do you feel about scoring such a beautiful goal? 
Memory: I feel immediately! 

Moses Chunga
Interviewer : So Moses, tell us about your family.
Moses: I have one kid. I also have two brothers. There is one in front of me and one behind me. 

Cephas Chimedza
This interview took place on Cephas's birthday.
Interview: Firstly, Cephas we would like to wish you a happy birthday. 
Cephas: Thank you, thank you, same to you.

Francis Chandida
Interviewer : Francis, you seem to have hit such a rich vein of form and you also seem a lot fitter. What is your secret?
Francis: In the morning, I get up and run away. 

Musareka Jenitala 
interviewer : Musa, you have just played an amazing game to help your team win, where to from here?
Musa: I am going home.

Peter Ndlovu
Interviewer : Peter, those were three beautiful babies you put away behind the net. How do you feel?
Peter: Aah iam so ashamed, I just do not like it when these women tell the whole world.

Johannes Ngodzo
Interviwer : Johannes, how does it feel to be man of the match?
Johannes : Actually yes!

Chinoz - Mabori anonzii neChirungu

Mwana: "Dad, mabori anonzii nechirungu?"
Chinoz: "Nxaaa haa ndiri kutambisa mari yangu. Nanhasi hauzive Eyes Cream?"

mbuya vachinamata parufu

Kwakaitika nhamo kwa Murambinda, zvikanzi zvino yave nguva ye body viewing tokumbirawo mbuya vanamate. Mbuya vakanamata vachiti, "God bless our food, amen." 
Vehukama vakabatikana

Vakomana chirungu chakaoma!

Vamwe bhudhi vaitengesa mavegetables kumarket. Kwakauya murungu akathenga neR100 manje bhudhi Havana change. 
Bhudhi kwakuti kumurungu money is together murungu akati what? 
Bhudhi vakati money is meeting, murungu akati: I don't understand. 
Bhudhi vakati money is mixed murungu kwakuti I can't get you 
Bhudhi vakati money is in a relationship, murungu akati come again 
Bhudhi vakati money is joined murungu akati please explain 
Bhudhi vakati money is one. Murungu akati I beg your pardon 
Bhudhi vakati: R1 is here R2 is here R5 is here R10 is here R20 is here R50 is here   achinongedzera R100) akati they are the team.

VaChihera vaenda kuno rapwa ku clinic

VaChihera vanodzoka from clinic vasina kurapwa. Ko sei madzoka? Zvikanzi:
 "Haiwa kune dzinza rose rairapwa, ndodzokera mangwana". ldzinza ripiko Chihera?
 "Ivava vemutupo unonzi NEXT nechirungu, haada kufa kurinani, vaidaidzwa ivo chete, mumwe atoda kundibatanidzira kuti ndimi next ndikati bodo ndiri Chihera ini".

Chinoz - maiwe kani

Simba : big, bigger, biggest.
Chipo : small, smaller, smallest.
Tanaka: tall, taller, tallest
Chinoz : mai, maiwe, maiwekani

Chirungu chacho kana chadai regai

Mkomana aiva form 4 akanzi nababa vake anyore 5 sentences kubva kushona oisa mu english 
  1. Ndawana mari nekutengesa maponde - l get money by selling many sex 
  2. Ndine makore 18 - l have 18 clouds 
Baba vakabva vati chirega hako mwanangu!

shongrish - rudo randipedza mafuta

Chirungu chakaoma!
Umwe musikana waida kunyora tsambambozha kumukomana wake nechirungu. Aida kuti "Rudo rwako rwandipedza mafuta".
Asi nekugozha kwechirungu, musikana wakanyora kuti: " Hi babie, your love finished my vaseline "

shongrish - Kupfekedza mwana napukeni

AMAI: Nhai baba vemwana kupfekedza mwana napukeni muchirungu kunonzi kudini?
BABA: Haa apa ndakaroora mukadzi zidofo chairo.
AMAI: Tiudzeika imi makadzidza.
BABA: Kutadza kungoti kidnapping

kuda zvinhu - menu mu hotera

Woenda Holiday Inn, woona menu yakanzi: 
  • Salted white corn, rare jucy beans, garnished with rift potatoes & topped with organic unprocessed guacamole!
  • Price: $ 52
Wobva wa Order!
Wobva waunzirwa only to find out Mutakura  with some Avocado.
Apo ndopaunatanga kuziwa kuti teacher we English akanga asiri munhu wekutamba naye.

viola waita nhumbu yemurungu

Viola aidanana nemurungu but chirungu chairamba kutamba .Zvino akaita nhumbu ndokushaya kuti otii kumface wake .Akatanga kuruma ruma muromo wake ndokuti "the moon skipped me and stomach is yours

Chirungu chakauya nengarava - favourite dish

Umwe mukomana akayendesa musikana wake ku restaurant. Yasvika nguva yekuisa order, mukomana akabvunza mudiwa wake achiti:
Mukomana: ''Babe, what's your favourite dish?''
Musikana: ''wiztech''.
Vanhu vakazvinzwa vakabva vakafa nekuseka, zvikanzi nechisikana chiya:
Musikana: ndiri kutamba zvangu iDstv kani''

shongrish - maybe next week

Chirungu siyai kana musingazive.ndripana 4 th,pane murume arimubhazi arikuenda kwamutare apa abudisa musoro nepa window achioneka mudzimai wake achideedzera zvikuru.inzwa zvaari sheedzera nepa window "suspect me next week"..

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