baba - Nyambo dzino kodza mwoyo

baba vako vanofarirei

Teacher : Tiudzei kuti vanababa venyu vanofarirei zvekudya:

Pupil 1 : Vangu vanowanzoda mazondo.
Pupil 2 : Ini vangu vanoda madora.
Pupil 3 : Vangu makenduru.
Teacher : Ah!! Makenduru? Nei
Pupil 3 : Kana vorara manheru ega egavanoti kunaamai chidzima kenduru ndidye.

baba mudzidzisi chikoro mwana

Ranga rawira kuseri kwe durawall

Amai Jeni vawacha hembe dzavo vaisa padurawall. Pakunotora manheru bhurukwa ravo ranga radonhera panext door kuseri kwedura wall. Ko vanozivei!

Vabva kubasa baba vepanext door vomemawo musha wavo manheru aya. Aa vabva vadhumana nebhurukwa. Vanodana kamwana kavo vobvunza kuti raive raani. " Mai Jeni" mwana anodaira. "Chienda unovapa"

Pakusvika kwamai Jeni kamwana kanosvikoona baba Jeni. " Hanzi nababa bhurukwa ramai Jeni iri..."

baba bhurugwa mai next door

Paqeue

Vamwe blaz vakanga varasika saka ndokuzongosvika paden peimwe king paiva pane security. Saka blaz dzakakumbira pekurara.King vaiva nembama yemwana musikana and mai king vaibika nyemba pamoto.Saka blaz avhunzwa naking kuti ainzi ani akati ndonzi Matako, kuna mai king akati ndonzi Kapeche Kemwana, kuna mwana waking akati ndonzi Nyemba Dzatsva.

Saka time time blaz dzakasara nekamoko kaya vari vega blaz ndokukwira kamoko.Saka kamoko kakatanga kuchema kachiti amai huyai muone Nyemba Dzatsva. Saka mhomz yaidaidzirawo back ichiti isa mvura kaiwe.Time time yakazoti rega ndinoona kuti dzambotsva sei wanike ah! blaz vari kurova zvinhu wanzwa.

Mhoms yakatanga kudeedzerawo kuna king manje, Ikati baba huyai muone kapeche kemwana, apaking vakati ah! mai bhoyi ndingaone kapeche kemwana here ini.Mhoms yaramba ichideedzera king vakati rega ndimboona kuti kamboita sei kapeche aka.Padzakapinda
muden blaz vachibva varova shuz vakananga kughedhi kwaiva nemaguard.

Zvikanzi na king "Batai Mata- aa-ko, ndati batai Matako". Security detail ichibva yaisa pfuti pasi ndokubata matako apa kablaz kachipfuura.

baba adult mwana mai

udzai vana chokwadi

John(6yrs) ari kubva kuchikoro anosangana nezvikomana zvitatu. chimwe chezvikomana izvi chinomutuka chichiti, "mboro yababa yako." john kanosvika kumba kobvunza amai koti "mhamha chii chinonzi mboro." mhamha vanoti, "ruoko mwanangu." remangana acho john kanoenda kuchikoro kosangana nezvikomana zviya zvinomutuka zvichiti, "beche ramai vako." john kanosvika kumba kobvunza amai kuti beche chii. amai vanoti, "iziso mwanangu." john kanonzwisisa konyarara hako.

remangwana acho mumba makazara vaenzi amai vanoti, "john ndigachidze kapu iyo." john kanoti, "handisvikiri tumai baba vane mboro refu." vanhu vese vaiva mumba vanokatyamadzwa nazvo votanga kuseka vachiburitsa musodzi mumaziso. john kanomira pamberi pavo koti, " ko! muri kunyanya kusekei zvemunobva maburitsa musodzi mubeche?"

baba adult mai

Ndinga taurewo na stella?

Inzwa conversation iripano mukomana aida kutaura nechimoko bt changa chisina fone so
akafona pane yamudhara wacho:

Baba: haloo
muface :halo ndingataure wo na stella
baba: ndiwe ani
muface: ndini Kero
Baba: unoti ndiwe Caro anenzwi rechirume manje hausi kuzotaura naye kana usina kundiudza kt ndiwe ani
Muface: inga ndirikutaura wani kt ndini Kerovhini

baba mukwasha

Pakati penyu muri vaviri...

Mudhara akasvika kumba wife namaid wakagara hawo. Wife ndiye akatanga

Wife: Maswera sei daddy? Daddy ziii.
Maid: Maswera seiko baba? Mdhara zii.
Wife: Ahh ko zvaitaseiko nhai baba mwana. Kwakanaka here?
Daddy: kuchinaka chii, pakati penyu muri two pane akandipa siki...

baba mai musikana webasa

Ndabika zvamuno farira

Wife : dady kasikai kuuya kumba nhasi ndabika zvamunofarira chaizvo.
Husband : wakatanga riinhi kugona kubika LION LAGER.

baba zvidhakwa mai

Baba vachizama sisi vebasa

Amai vemba vanga vaenda ku holiday and Baba vemusha vakanga vatorine chikara chekuti vatoluma. Vakati zano vakati rega ndiite plan nemusikana webasa uyo akanga ava ne 2 weeks achangobva kumusha and aisaratidza kungwara ngwara.

Vakamusheedza mu bedroom ndokubvisa bhurugwa ravo ndokunongedzera chinhu chavo

Baba : Unoziva kuti chii here ichi?
Sisi : (vachinyaririra) Hongu baba
Baba : Unoziva basa racho?

Sisi : Ehe

Baba : ita tione

Sisi pakarepo vakabva vapfugama nemabvi ndokubata chinhu nemaoko maviri ndokuswedera pedyo pedyo ndokuvhura muromo...

Baba vakabva vatsinzinya maziso vagadzirira...

Sisi ndokuti : "chekutanga ndoda kukwazisa amai na baba vangu vari ku
Uzumba ndozokwazisa sekuru Jowero na Tete Esinathi, ndinokumbirawo
mundiridzire kambo kanonzi 'this time haulume'..."

baba sisi vebasa

panouya vanhu kuzo bata maoko

Vamwe baba vakati vava kufa, vakati regai ndiraire mwana zvokuita parufu pachauya vanhu vachibata maoko.

Panouya mapostori, uvige sugar,

Pachauya veAnglican uvige doro ,

Pachauya veMethodist uvige nyama ,

Panouya maPentecost uvige mari,

Panouya veEndtime (Gumbura) uvige amai vako.

baba mapositori mari mwana gumbura church rufu pentecostal

baba vanoenda kubasa netsoka

Teacher: Baba vanoenda kubasa netsoka vanonzi chii?

Fatso: vanonzi Stepfather

baba mwana nhamo fatso

nda buda bhobho

"Touch is a move", mwana akadeedzera kunababa vake mushure mekunge vabata kanyama kadiki mundiro yavaidya nemwana wavo.

Mundiro mainge masara nhengo mbiri hombe neduku. Baba vakatora kanyama kaye ndokuisa pamusoro pehombe .

"Ko baba makuita sei"kamwana kakabvunza kakatyamara.
"Ndabuda bhobho waruza" mudhara vakapindura kumwana

baba mwana sadza bhobho tsoro kukara

kugerwa mahara

Mumwe murume akapinda mubarbershop aine mwana wake mukomana.

Murume ndokutanga kugerwa apedza bvaati rega ndimbonotenga nyama ndouya ndobhadhara ka 1 sara uchigera mwana wangu.
Mwana uya apedza kugerwa barber aona kuti baba vaya vanonoka kudzoka akabvunza mwana uye kuti baba vake vainge vanotenga nyama kure zvakadii.

Mukomana uya ndokupindura kuti "handivazive ini havasi baba vangu. Tangosangana panze zvakanzi mwanagu handeyi togerwa mahara"

baba mbavha tsotsi mwana kugerwa

zanu pf - vote of no confidence

Ndiri worried zvisingaite, ndawana mukadzi nevana vachitaurira pasi pasi. Pandangopinda vanyarara, ndiri kufunga vanga vachitaura zve Vote of no Confidence on me. Kana kupinda mutoilet chaimo ndiri kutya kuvasiya vega.Ndoitawo sei vanhuwe?

baba mukadzi zanu mhuri zanu pf - 2014 factions

Takasangana kupi?

Kid: Nhai baba, maka zvarirwa kupi?
Dad: Harare
Kid: Ko mama?
Dad: Goromonzi
Kid: Ini?
Dad: Chitungwiza
Kid: Saka takasangana kupi?

baba mwana mai

Tiri kunzi tine nhumbu ya bhiridha

Daddy vanobva kubasa vanodana vadzimai vavo kuti vagare pedyo navo pasofa.

Daddy :Darling hanti pamuchato wedu mufundisi akati tava nyama imwe.

Madam : Hongu ! Kana bible chairo rinodaro.

Daddy : Izvi zvichimborevei??

Madam : Zvinowana imi zvawana ini uye mhosva yenyu imhosva yangu.

Daddy : Very good , zvino tirikunzi takamitisa musikana wedu webasa.

Madam : iiiiiiiiiihhhh!!! Inga zvatiwandira tirikunzizve tine nhumbu yabhiridha.

baba mai musikana webasa maid bhiridha nhumbu

Dzimba Dzakaoma!

Dzimba dzakaoma vakomana.Ndakazviwanira zvangu babie rangu raive steady ndikati regai ndiroore hangu.Takabva taita kamwana kwedu.Sezvo mari yainetsa mukadzi akati otsvaga basa tibatsirane.Pasina nguva ndakanzwa mukadzi oti awana basa pane imwe lodge.Zvakadaro takabva tatama kubva pamba yevabereki tave kuno lodger kweduwo sezvo mari yakanga yave kubatana manje.Problem yakazouya pandakati regai ndirovere chipikiri chekuisa picture frame.Aaa ndakatambura coz madziro ainge akaoma iwayo.Ndipo pandakaona kuti Dzimba dzakaoma.

baba mari mai imba roja

Mwana wemu purisa achivhara nyaya

A ZRP cop asks his son why he got low marks in his exams. Son replied with $5 note in his hand, "Batai makadai mudhara, ipere nyaya iyoyo."

baba Mapurisa (ZRP) mwana chioko muhomwe

Baba vangu imbavha, mai vangu...

Mudzidzisi akabvunza vana vose mumwe nemumwe mabasa evabereki vavo kamwe kakataura: "baba vangu imbavha ,mai vangu ihure..."

Teacher vakatsamwa ndokuendesa mwana kwaheadmaster. Mushure mwana akadzoka achidya apple teacher ndokubvunza: "wanzi kudii nahead?"

Kakapindura: "hapana vandipa apple vakatora number dzamai vangu chete..."

baba mudzidzisi chikoro hure mwana mai headmaster

Ndipe hembe ndiwache

Bopoto mumba:

Murume - ndaneta newe enda umbonogara kutuma hure twakakuzvara. Mukadzi- Gonai ktaura dadie Murume - haaa haubatsire better uende kutudumba twenyu. Mukadzi - Ungabva wadaro vaberek vangu . Murume - Rongedza twako izvezvi.......... (Phone ringing)

Mukadzi anodaira phone iri pa loud... Mukadzi pa phone: "Hello baba." Tezvara- wakadii mwanangu? Mwana - Ndrinan baba. Tezvara - Ndaisa $1000 mu accnt mako $500 shandsai mumba imwe yasara mogovana ne mukwasha wangu awane yedoro. Mwana - maita basa baba bye. Mukadzi - Wati ndirongedze hembe dzangu ndiite sei? Murume - Ndati rongedza hembe dzako ndiwache.

baba mukadzi mukwasha tezvara murume

mwana akaona muroi

Mwana: Nhai Daddy hanti varoi vanofamba vasina hembeka?

Dad: Hongu, wakamuonepi muroi?

Mwana: ndakamuona nezuro maskati pandakabva kuchikoro, ndakawana mama vachiroyewa nemuroi pasofa, but vakange vatomubata vachitokudaidzai vachichema kuti daddy, daddy, daddy kani !

baba hure mwana mai varoyi

Nyamba yaenda ne gero

Vamwe vana vakaoma chokwadi... Mumwe mukomana akatumwa namdhara kunotenga 5kgs dzenyama pakudzoka ndokusangana nebaby rake zvikanzi nebby 'nyama waiwanepi'?

zvikanzi nemukomana ndeyekubutcher kwedu kana uchida tora iyi ini ndonotora imwe.

Mukomana akanosvika kumba asina chinhu . Baba vaye vainge vakagara mumba namufundisi zvikanzi nababa mwanangu wauya nenyama here zvikanzi hongu baba
zvikanzi rega ndirodze banga tiicheke.

Baba vachibuda panze mwana ndokuti kuna mufundisi nyama irikutaurwa nababa ndimi murikurodzerwa banga iro , mufundisi vachinzwa izvi ndokutora bhasikoro ravo vakananga kumba mwana ndokumhanya kunababa zvikanzi murikurodza henyu banga
asi nyama yatizwa nayo namufundusi. Baba ndokutanga kumhanyisa mufundisi achishevedzera 'mira nenyama unofunga kuti unotiza ukasvikepi banga ndarodza kare'.

baba nyama mufundisi

Baba tindo vachipembedza mwana

Ba Tindo vachipembedza mwana wavo mu kombie vanhu vakanyarara.
Tindo : "dady apa ndopanonzi pagomo hospital handiti?"
Ba Tindo: " yes mwanangu"

Kombie yati fambe fambe vachitaura nemazwi ari pamusoro vanhu vese vakanyarara.

Tindo: " dady apa ndopa ZBC panoverengwa news handiti" .
Ba Tindo: ndizvozvo chaizvo mwanangu u are very clever keep it up boy".

Kombi yapinda mutown mwana akadeedzera zvekare.

Tindo:"dady this is Rezende street corner Charter handiti?".
Ba Tindo: " argh u are very clever unotokunda vamwe varume vakuru kuziva harare"
Apa mwana anga amera zenze manje .
Tindo:" Dady apa ndopa Harare Central Police Station patakauya kuzokuona na mhamha masungwa maramba kubhadhara hure handiti?"

Baba vakabva vati zii kunga vasipo

baba hure mwana

Mai vanoda zvinhu

Mai vekwangu ndavatadza hama dzangu. She wants a present fo evrything; birthdays, month end, Easter, weekends, Heroes... Well zvishoma izvo, today I woke up to a shock, hanzi, "..darling, what are you buying me for xenophobia..?"

baba mai kukara xenophobia 2015 xenophobia sa

mhuka inomanya chaizvo

Kamwe kamwana kaka bvunzwa na teacher kuti: "ndeipi mhuka inomhanya chaizvo?"

Kaka davira kachiti: "CHIKOMBA. Daddy vangu vakatadza kuchibata nezuro vasvika chakarara pamubhedha ende chine muswe kumberi"

baba chikomba mwana

ndatya kuti pamwe ndo baba vangu

Mumwe murume akabata mukadzi wake nechikomba. Akarwisana nechikomba chakabva chamukurira.

Mwana wake mukomana aivapo asi haana kubatsira baba vake, akangoramba amire zvake. Baba vakamuti sei warega ndichirohwa usingandibatsire?

Zvakanzi ndaona kuti amai ihure. Ndakarwisa chikomba pamwe ndoo baba vangu chaivo.

baba hure mwana mai kurwa

vanhu vakabvepi?

Little girl asks her mom, "nhai mhamha, vanhu takabva kupi?"
Mum, "vanhu vakatanga vari makudo. Ndokubva vatanga kushanduka zvishoma kusvika vave vanhu, muchazvidzidza kuchikoro."
The little girl wanted a better elaboration from her father and she asked him.

"Nhai daddy vanhu vakabva kupi?"
Dad - "Munhu akasikwa namwari. Kwakatanga kusikwa Adam naEve, ndivo vakazobereka vanhu vese".

Daughter - "ko inga mhamha vati vanhu vakabva kumakudo?"
Dad - "Ini ndakuudza kwakabva family yedu, mhamha vako vakuudza kwakabva family yavo."

baba mwana mai gudo mwari mwanasikana

Vana ngava baiwe jekiseni re gwirikwiti

Ndichivimba kuti maswera sei sei kwese kwamuri, ndaida kungoti kwamuri Kune vaya vanoti kuvarume kana vakadzi vavo "baby" plz endayi navo vanodonhedzerwa Vitamin A nekubayiwa Measles ne Rubella

baba mai vana gwirikwiti

Ndinga dai ndabuda mujere nhasi

Mukadzi akapinda mukitchen ndokuona murume akagara pachair akatarisa pacalendar misodzi ichierera. zvikanzi:

Mukadzi: "Ko chii nhai sweety?"

Murume: "Uchiri kuziva here tichiri mkomana nemusikana paya patakabatwa nababa vako, pavakanditi ndisarudze pakati pekukuroora kana kuti ndiende kujeri kwe10years.?"

Mukadzi: "Hoo, ehe ndapaziva. Ko mazvifunga sei izvozvo?"

Murume: "Ndiri kudemba kuti dai ndakangoshingirira, ndingadai ndabuda mujeri nhasi."

baba roora musikana imba

Chihure

Umwe mface akuudzwa kuti kana achinge aenda kubasa mukadzi wake anoisa chikomba paden. Rimwe zuva akati ndoda kumbozvionera ndobva audza mkadzi kuti ndichamboenda kubasa ndichaita vhiki ndisati ndauya.

Akava aenda, mkadzi ndokufonera chikomba zvikanzi "baby huya zvako tine party yeweek rose!"

Muchinda haana kunonoka ndobva asvika ndokupinda muroom rakaipa, bedroom, ndokuita 4play vachingopedza kukurura ndokunzwa ko..ko..ko..ko pa door.

Muukadzi: "ndiani "

Murume: "ndini baba aTawanda vhura door"

Lucky imba yacho ndidzo dziya dzekumaruva dzechikare dzinoti pasi bedroom pamusoro pocroswa matanda panoiswa zviyo &then roof pekupedzisira. Mukadzi akafunga zano chop chop zvikanzi, iwe kwira pamusoro apo uvate ipapo tozoona zvimwe zvekuita.

Sezvo pakange pasisina zviyo zvakaita easy ndobva chikomba charara chakatarisa pasi semunhu aitya. Muridzi wemba ndokupinda. Semunhu ange achinzwa zvese, akarara pabed akatarisa mudenga.

Saka jende rechikomba rakabudira muroom repazasi mkadzi ndiye akatanga kuriona ndobva adzima light murume zvikanzi batidza light pane chandisina kuona mushe..'ko icho chiiko mai T'.

Mukadzi: "ibhero ndatengera manzuma iya yekushupa ndizvozvo chete ndidzime zvangu"

Murume: "mira ndoda kunzwa kuti rinorira sei" achitora nduku ndobva ari buuu kurova zvikanzi "ngendeee".." inga rinorira zvinofadza rega ndidzokorore zvakare" achibva abata nemaoko ese kwaku rova ngesimba zvikanzi."ndati ngende mhani".

baba hure chikomba mai

Baba vachida kunyima mwana nyama yeku gocha

Vamwe baba vaida kunyima mwana nyama yavaigocha ndokuzadza mhiripiri panyama. Nyama iya payakanga yoda kundoibva, vakaravira kamwe kanhango vachibva vafinyamisa kumeso kuti mwana awone kuti nyama yaivava zvisingaiti.

Mwana uya akabva ati: "Zvino baba mukadaro panyama saka majiggies hamungaagone. Zvotoda isu tajaira".

baba gochi gochi mwana kukara nyama

No joy kana sisi vebasa vasipo

Mama vachibvunza sisi: Ko iwe wakazongoenda kuweekend usina kutaura?

Maid: Ah mama, inga ndaka updater status wani pafacebook kuti "Going kumusha for the weekend,will be back on Monday. Murume wenyu akato comenta kuti 'Safe journey, will miss you so much, no joy kana usipo!'"

baba mai maid sisi vebasa whatsapp whatsapp status

Chokutadzisai kuitawo zvinoitwa nevamwe varume

Amai T vachiyemera daddy:

Amai T: "Baba Tee mukuziva here kuti Baba Hazy vakatengera mai Hazy mota for Christmas?"

Baba T: "Nanga pane nyaya yako"

Amai T: "Nyaya yei kungotaurawo zvinoitarwa vamwe nevarume vawo"

Baba T: "Saka ukuda nditeedzere zvinoitwa nababa Hazy here?"

Amai T: "Aaaagh ko imi chokutadzisai kuitawo zvinoitwa nevamwe varume chii?"

Baba T: "Ibhoo ndichatanga ndamitisa munin'ina wako, ndorara nemukadzi wehanzvadzi yako, then ndozotenga mota yesorry..."

baba makuhwa amai mota christmas

Fembera fembera

baba vanoita ma jokes nemwana vasvika kumba fembera fembera kuti ndakuigirei mwanangu mwana anoti masweets daddy voti nzvee ndakuigira mabook mwana anodaroo kuna baba vake daddy fembera fembera kuti pasi pemubhedha panei daddy voti bhutsu mwana oti nzvee panasabhuku

baba mwana mai sabhuku

Uri mbudzi here?

Musikana atizira: Baba ndauyawo ndine nhumbu ya John
Baba: Wabvepi
Musikana: KuBikita
Baba : Ko John wakamuonepi
Musikana : Ku village kwedu achitsvaga mbudzi
Baba: Saka iwe uri mbudzi here?

baba musikana mbudzi nhumbu

Ndini Kero

Inzwa conversation iripano:

Mukomana aida kutaura nechimoko asi changa chisina fone, so akafona pane yababa wacho.

Baba: haloo

Muface :halo ndingataure wo na stella

Baba: ndiwe ani

Muface: ndini Kero

Baba: unoti ndiwe Caro anenzwi rechirume manje hausi kuzotaura naye kana usina kundiudza kuti ndiwe ani

Muface: inga ndirikutaura wani kt ndini Kerovhini

baba phone tezvara mukomana musikana

mavaiteiko baba vafenda?

Mai vakaenda nemurume wavo kuchipatara

Doc: Mai murume wenyu aita heart attack. Muwanano zvoda kunzwisisana. Asi mamuitira chimwe chikomba here?

Mai: Aiwa Doc, ndafumovaudza kuti chihuta chaenda.

baba amai chipatara zvihuta chihuta

Vana varambidzwa kuenda kushow

Baba vakarambidza vana vavo kuenda kushow yajah prayzer ndokuvakiira muroom mavo. Vana vakaboora buri pamusoro pamazen'e ndokuenda kushow. Vadzoka vana vakapinda mumbaa mvura ndokutanga kunayaa. Vana vakadaidza baba kuti tave kunaiwa. Baba vakati tichapavhara kana kwaedza. Kuchiedza baba vakadana mai ndokuvatsika pafudzi kuti vakwanise kuvhara buri iri vana vachtamba panze. Pamba pakasvika muenzi ndokubvunza vana kuti kovabereki varipi, vana vakati vakakwirana mumba umo vari kuvhara buri ratakabuda naro

baba mai musikanzwa

Chirungu chacho kana chadai regai

Mkomana aiva form 4 akanzi nababa vake anyore 5 sentences kubva kushona oisa mu english

Ndawana mari nekutengesa maponde - l get money by selling many sex
Ndine makore 18 - l have 18 clouds

Baba vakabva vati chirega hako mwanangu!

baba dofo chikoro chirungu shongrish

Takasangana kupi?

Son: Nhai daddy makaberekerwa kupi?

Dad: kuChinhoyi.

Son: ko mhamha vakaberekerwa kupi?

Dad: kuGoromonzi.

Son: ko ini ndakaberekerwa kupi?

Dad: kuChitungwiza.

Son: Aaaaaah saka takasangana kupi?

baba mwana amai chinhoyi goromonzi chitungwiza

Manje waibatira payi?

Baba vaigeza parwizi nemwana, mwana achibva atsvedzera mumvura ndokubatirira oder yamudhara achibva abuda, baba kwava kutanga kuseka unstopable, zvikanzi nemwana:

"Asi muri kuseka kuti ndatsvedza here?" Baba ndokuti:

"Ndiri kutoseka kuti dai wanga uchigeza namai vako waibatirira pai"

baba rwizi mwana kugeza