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baba vako vanofarirei

Teacher : Tiudzei kuti vanababa venyu vanofarirei zvekudya:

Pupil 1 : Vangu vanowanzoda mazondo.
Pupil 2 : Ini vangu vanoda madora.
Pupil 3 : Vangu makenduru.
Teacher : Ah!! Makenduru? Nei
Pupil 3 : Kana vorara manheru ega egavanoti kunaamai chidzima kenduru ndidye.
mwana mudzidzisi chikoro baba

Wasu ku mapurisa

Wasu vakanga vari pacourt ndokusangana nahomeboy  kwaakuchiexplaina .Zvikanzi:
"Ndauya kuno nge case ngekuti mwana wakaitwa sex ngebhinya'

Apa vaitaura mudon akange arepewa
mwana Mapurisa (ZRP) wasu

Paqeue

Vamwe blaz vakanga varasika saka ndokuzongosvika paden peimwe king paiva pane security. Saka blaz dzakakumbira pekurara.King vaiva nembama yemwana musikana and mai king vaibika nyemba pamoto.Saka blaz avhunzwa naking kuti ainzi ani akati ndonzi Matako, kuna mai king akati ndonzi Kapeche Kemwana, kuna mwana waking akati ndonzi Nyemba Dzatsva.

Saka time time blaz dzakasara nekamoko kaya vari vega blaz ndokukwira kamoko.Saka kamoko kakatanga kuchema kachiti amai huyai muone Nyemba Dzatsva. Saka mhomz yaidaidzirawo back ichiti isa mvura kaiwe.Time time yakazoti rega ndinoona kuti dzambotsva sei wanike ah! blaz vari kurova zvinhu wanzwa.

Mhoms yakatanga kudeedzerawo kuna king manje, Ikati baba huyai muone kapeche kemwana, apaking vakati ah! mai bhoyi ndingaone kapeche kemwana here ini.Mhoms yaramba  ichideedzera king vakati rega ndimboona kuti kamboita sei kapeche aka.Padzakapinda
muden blaz vachibva varova shuz vakananga kughedhi kwaiva nemaguard.

Zvikanzi na king "Batai Mata- aa-ko, ndati batai Matako". Security detail ichibva yaisa pfuti pasi ndokubata matako apa kablaz kachipfuura.
mwana adult baba mai

Ka hwindi kechidiki

Amai vakatengera mwana toy yekombi. Kakomana kakatanga kuitambisa kachideedzera kachiti "vabereki 4 4, Tafara Mabvuku kwagogo! Ko imi makamirirei? Murimhata" The mother overheard her son and was angry. She took away the toy and hid it. After a while vakanzwa tsitsi mwana wavo angonyarara. She give him the toy bck. Gare gare vakanzwa mwana akudeedzera achiti "vabereki tadzoka handei 4 4 Mabvuku, soriyi mota yanga yatorwa nekahure ketraffic!

mwana kombi hwindi mai

Fata achibatsira gungano rake

Umwe mwana kumusha akagara pasi muchechi asina bhurukwa fata vaka zviona vakati: "mwana, kana chechi yapera undione."

Mwana akaenda kunovaona zvikanzi nafata "Tora $10 utenge mabhurukwa wanzwa!"

Mwana akafara, amai vacho vakazviona then next weekend vakaendawo vasina bhurukwa ndo kunogara pa front row vaka shadabura. Zvikanzi na fata "amai mundione , kana chechi yapera".

Amai vakaona fata ndokubva fata ati, "Amai oyi 2rand mutenge razor"

mwana bhurugwa fata amai church

panouya vanhu kuzo bata maoko

Vamwe baba vakati vava kufa, vakati regai ndiraire mwana zvokuita parufu pachauya vanhu vachibata maoko.

Panouya mapostori, uvige sugar, 
Pachauya veAnglican uvige doro , 
Pachauya veMethodist uvige  nyama , 
Panouya maPentecost uvige mari, 
Panouya veEndtime (Gumbura) uvige amai vako.

mwana mapositori mari baba gumbura church rufu pentecostal

baba vanoenda kubasa netsoka

Teacher: Baba vanoenda kubasa netsoka vanonzi chii?
Fatso: vanonzi Stepfather
mwana baba nhamo fatso

Ndichapa sekuru mukaka wako

Mdhara Serebhu ari mubhazi achibva kubasa akuenda kumba kwake kuWaterfalls akagara paside pemukadzi arikuyamwisa mwana wake apa mwana arikuramba kuyamwa. Mai vaye vanotyisidzira mwana wavo vachiti, ''ukaramba kuyamwa ndichapa hangu sekuru ava mukaka wako'', Bhazi ratifambe fambe vava paroundabout mwana uye achingoramba kuyamwa mai vaye vanopamha zvakare kuti, ''yamwa iwe ndisati ndapa sekuru awa'' , ipapo Mdhara Serebhu anotarisa kuna mai vaye obva ati , ''ambuya rongai zvinhu zvenyu ka1 kana muchindipa ingondipai izvozvi zamhu racho ndiyamwe, hangu mabvira kudhara muchingoti muchandipa zvino ndakangogara muno apa ndanga ndichifanira kuburukira paZindoga'
mwana dofo kombi sekuru amai mukaka

nda buda bhobho

"Touch is a move",  mwana akadeedzera kunababa vake mushure mekunge vabata kanyama kadiki mundiro yavaidya nemwana wavo. 
Mundiro mainge masara nhengo mbiri hombe neduku. Baba vakatora kanyama kaye ndokuisa pamusoro pehombe . 
"Ko baba makuita sei"kamwana kakabvunza kakatyamara.
"Ndabuda bhobho waruza" mudhara vakapindura kumwana
mwana baba sadza bhobho tsoro kukara

kugerwa mahara

Mumwe murume akapinda mubarbershop aine mwana wake mukomana. 
Murume ndokutanga kugerwa apedza bvaati rega ndimbonotenga nyama ndouya ndobhadhara ka 1 sara uchigera mwana wangu.
Mwana uya apedza kugerwa barber aona kuti baba vaya vanonoka kudzoka akabvunza mwana uye kuti baba vake vainge vanotenga nyama kure zvakadii.
Mukomana uya ndokupindura kuti "handivazive ini havasi baba vangu. Tangosangana panze zvakanzi mwanagu handeyi togerwa mahara"
mwana mbavha tsotsi baba kugerwa

Takasangana kupi?

Kid: Nhai baba, maka zvarirwa kupi?
Dad: Harare
Kid: Ko mama?
Dad: Goromonzi
Kid: Ini?
Dad: Chitungwiza
Kid: Saka takasangana kupi?
mwana baba mai

zvima bhibhi zve grade 0

Mwana weshamwari yangu akatanga grade 0 nezuro airamba kupfeka bib hanzi handitengese airtime..
mwana chikoro grade 0 shamwari

ndipei risina hupfu

Hupenyu hwakaoma ndirikunzwa hangu mwana wepanextdoor ari kuchemera sadza mai vacho varikuti hapana hupfu iye arikuti arikuda rakadaro risina hupfu
mwana next door nhamo sadza

Mwana wemu purisa achivhara nyaya

A ZRP cop asks his son why he got low marks in his exams. Son replied with $5 note in his hand, "Batai makadai mudhara, ipere nyaya iyoyo."
mwana Mapurisa (ZRP) baba chioko muhomwe

Baba vangu imbavha, mai vangu...

Mudzidzisi akabvunza vana vose mumwe nemumwe mabasa evabereki vavo kamwe kakataura: "baba vangu imbavha ,mai vangu ihure..."

Teacher vakatsamwa ndokuendesa mwana kwaheadmaster. Mushure mwana akadzoka achidya apple teacher ndokubvunza: "wanzi kudii nahead?" 

Kakapindura: "hapana vandipa apple vakatora number dzamai vangu chete..."
mwana mudzidzisi chikoro hure baba mai headmaster

mwana akaona muroi

Mwana: Nhai Daddy hanti varoi vanofamba vasina hembeka?  
Dad: Hongu, wakamuonepi muroi?  
Mwana: ndakamuona nezuro maskati pandakabva kuchikoro, ndakawana mama vachiroyewa nemuroi pasofa, but vakange vatomubata vachitokudaidzai vachichema kuti daddy, daddy, daddy kani !
mwana hure baba mai varoyi

Ndapfinyira mubhutsu

Ku creche kwandinoshanda kunekamwana kainzi Vicky. 👼Ende kari cute futi kari sweet. Nezuro toda kuchaisa ndakakawana kachifirira kupfeka maboots ako.👢 Ndakasvika ndokukabatsira. Veduwe raiva basa maBoots aiita semadiki nemaSize 2 chaiwo. Ndakaita 5minutes chaidzo. Ndapedza ndoti rega ndiende zvikanzi naVicky,'Teacher' mandipfekedza banana.🍌'nditarisewo ndione zveshuwa ndapfekedza mwana banana. 😱 Hapaya pakunobvisa maboots aya. Dzakaita 3minutes dzekukurura bhutsu chete. Ndakazokunda ndokukapfekedza zvakanaka - zvenharo zviya zvekutanga zvakare,,, Ndapedza ndonzwa koti zve,'Teacher ', maboots aya haasi angu!' Ndakamerera nehasha asi semunhu anoshanda nevana ndakaita moyo murefu ndokukakumura maboots aye. Ndapedza ndikabvunza kuti ko ako aripi nhai Vicky. Zvikanzi, angu maboots asara kumba. Aya ndakaasiirwa nesister yangu, ndamapfekedzwa namama. Ndaka bvunda nehasha. Asi basa rangu ndinoita nemazvo. Takapfekedzana maboots aye zvekare. Ndapedza zvikanzi na Vicky,' ko masocks acho?' Apa ndakashaya kuti ndoseka here kana kuchema.😡 Zvinyoronyoro ndakabvunza kuti ko masocks acho arikupi. Shasha ndokutanga kuseka zvayo "yakanditarisa zvikanzi,' 'NDAMAPFINYIRA MUKATI MEMABOOTS ANGU!'
mwana mudzidzisi creche

Kachiri kadiki

Conductor: Eeh ambuya mwana ane 3yrs anobhadhara muno mukombi, wenyu anemangani uyo?
Ambuya: Ane 36months.
Conductor: haa ok kachiri kadiki
mwana dofo bhazi ambuya hwindi conductor

Chakachaya kuCourt

Imwe couple ndokuuya ku High Court for a dirvoce:
Judge: Hamuchadanani zvachose chose hre?
Man: Hongu mambo.
Woman: Chokwadi changamire.
Judge: Mune vana vangani?
Woman: Three.
Judge: How do u want the children shared.
Panoita runyararo, votanga kukakavadzana
murume nemkadzi. After some 30 mins they come
back.
Vose: Give us time, taakunoita mumwe mwana,
then we share equally, kkkkk

Haipereri ipapo. After nine months, the woman
gave birth to twins kkkkkkkkkk
mwana mukadzi murume dare gupuro

Baba tindo vachipembedza mwana

Ba Tindo vachipembedza mwana wavo mu kombie vanhu vakanyarara.
Tindo : "dady apa ndopanonzi pagomo hospital handiti?"
Ba Tindo: " yes mwanangu"

Kombie yati fambe fambe vachitaura nemazwi ari pamusoro vanhu vese vakanyarara. 

Tindo: " dady apa ndopa ZBC panoverengwa news handiti" . 
Ba Tindo: ndizvozvo chaizvo mwanangu u are very clever keep it up boy". 

Kombi yapinda mutown mwana akadeedzera zvekare. 

Tindo:"dady this is Rezende street corner Charter handiti?". 
Ba Tindo: " argh u are very clever unotokunda vamwe varume vakuru kuziva harare" 
Apa mwana anga amera zenze manje . 
Tindo:" Dady apa ndopa Harare Central Police Station patakauya kuzokuona na mhamha masungwa maramba kubhadhara hure handiti?"

Baba vakabva vati zii kunga vasipo


mwana hure baba

mama vabuda neka radio

Husband : Babes uripi ?
Wife : Im home 
Husband : Kunyepa ita on radio
Wife : Radio on shhhhhh
Next day the same thing until one day Zesa raenda murume ndokuti let me surprise my wife wanikwe kumba kune mwana ari ega.
Baba : Iwe amai varipi
Mwana : Hameno vangobuda vakabata ka radio makuseni
mwana mukadzi murume zesa

mhuka inomanya chaizvo

Kamwe kamwana kaka bvunzwa na teacher kuti: "ndeipi mhuka inomhanya chaizvo?" 
Kaka davira kachiti: "CHIKOMBA. Daddy vangu vakatadza kuchibata nezuro vasvika chakarara pamubhedha ende chine muswe kumberi"
mwana chikomba baba

Chinoz - tangai nezvidiki

Mwana waChinos fails to spell e word COW.
Teacher meets e parent n let him know..
Chinos respond ... "mungadaiwo mamutanga nezvidiki like mosquitoes not a cow"
Igore rezvidzidzo nhai...
mwana dofo mudzidzisi chinoz chikoro

Chinoz - kupfekedza mwana napukeni

Zvikanzi hoyo mubvunzo kuna Cde Chinoz, "Nhai vaChinoz, ko iko kupfekedza mwana ma"Nappies" kunonzi chiiko neChirungu?"

Zvikanzi naCde Chinoz, "Aaaa ibvai apa mhani, munondibvunzireiko zvakapusa kudaro? Ndoinonzi "KIDNAPPING" or ku "Kidnapper" mwana!"
mwana dofo chinoz

Amai dofo vaenda kuchipatara nemwana

Nurse: Amai mwana wenyu anonzwei? 
Amai: Shona nechiChangani.
Nurse: Ndobvira kuti ari kubatiswa nei? 
Amai: Nechichira chamunoona chandakamubereka nacho ichi.
Nurse: Ndoreva kuti anosimbiswa nei? 
Amai : Kuda ibota rakavira randave kumupa mazuva ano. 
Nurse: Ano sweater here?
Amai: Anosiweta zvose nekusidhota kana amwa maheu akavirisa.
Nurse: Oyi mapiritsi aya momupa  maviri pazuva. 
Amai: Ko pamumvuri ndomupa mangani?
mwana dofo amai chipatara shona mukoti

ndatya kuti pamwe ndo baba vangu

Mumwe murume akabata mukadzi wake nechikomba. Akarwisana nechikomba chakabva chamukurira. 
Mwana wake mukomana aivapo asi haana kubatsira baba vake, akangoramba amire zvake. Baba vakamuti sei warega ndichirohwa usingandibatsire? 
Zvakanzi ndaona kuti amai ihure. Ndakarwisa chikomba pamwe ndoo baba vangu chaivo.
mwana hure baba mai kurwa

vanhu vakabvepi?

Little girl asks her mom, "nhai mhamha, vanhu takabva kupi?"
Mum, "vanhu vakatanga vari makudo. Ndokubva vatanga kushanduka zvishoma kusvika vave vanhu, muchazvidzidza kuchikoro."
The little girl wanted a better elaboration from her father and she asked him. 
"Nhai daddy vanhu vakabva kupi?"
Dad - "Munhu akasikwa namwari. Kwakatanga kusikwa Adam naEve, ndivo vakazobereka vanhu vese". 
Daughter - "ko inga mhamha vati vanhu vakabva kumakudo?"
Dad - "Ini ndakuudza kwakabva family yedu, mhamha vako vakuudza kwakabva family yavo."
mwana baba mai gudo mwari mwanasikana

Ndoda ana mai vakafa

Mother: Nhai Joe mwanangu wave nemakore mangani?

Son: Ndaane 35 amai.
Mother : Saka kureva kuti hausati wave
nemskana waunoda kuroora here?

Son : Kwete amai ndinaye.

Mother : Kozvino chakumisa chiiko nhai
mwanangu iyezvino kubasa waporomotwa
tarisa makurire ezimba rino rawa kapiwa raunongogara wega. !

Son : Ndicharoora amai kana nguva yakwana.

Mother : Ndiri amai vako Joe nditaurire
chokwadi kana pane zvinonetsa tione zvekuita ?

Son : Chete amai musikana wangu ndomuda kuti ndiputse chitsidzo naye chekupinda
musvitsa tave ne15 yrs tichidanana hazviite.

Mother : Ah 15yrs saka arikuenda kuchikoro here?

Son : Kwete aakutosevenza asi kuti kubva ndichimu pfimba akati haadi kuroorwa
nemukomana ana amai vapenyu.
mwana roora mai musikana rufu rudo vamwene

Flag ye Zimbabwe

Teacher: ko black colour iri paflag yedu yeZimbabwe yakamirirei?
Mwana: Load shedding
mwana mudzidzisi teacher chikoro zimbabwe zesa

Huya pano ne chiNdebele

Teacher: ndiani anogona ndebele munomu?
Kid: ini ndokiya kiya
Teacher: ko kana uchida kuti kumuhu huyapano unoti chiii?
Kid: buya lapa
Teacher: ok .kokana wakuda kuti adzokere kwaabva unotichii?
Kid: azvinetsi ndongoenda kwaabva ndoti buya lapa futi
mwana mudzidzisi chikoro ndebele

Zvinhu zvese zvongo kwira

Mudzidzisi akabvunza vana kuti 1+1 = chii?
Umwe mwana ndokusimuka akati 1+1=4, umwe mudhara aitopfuura achibva kunobhadharirara vana fees ndokuzvinzwa. 

Mudhara uya akabva adzungudza musoro akati "Nzara
ichatiuraya muno munyika! Zvinhu zvichingokwira kudai, kubva ku transport, peturo, zvikafu kana iyo 1+1 yaimbova 2 ikozvino yatokwira yava 4"
mwana dofo mudzidzisi chikoro

mwana wemu hedheni

Inzwai mhinduro dzemwana wemuHedheni paRoad Show. Jona pindura mibvunzo gumi (10) inotevera ugozviwanira shool fees voucher pachena.

1. Jona, tiudze ndiani muBhaibheri anonzi simba rake raibva mubvudzi? 
   Jona: "ndiBob Marley". 

2. Tiudze muchato mukuru mushoko dzvene ramwari wakaitirwa munzvimbo yainzi chii? 
   Jona: "Harare Gardens".

3. Vana veIsrael vakayambuka rwizi rwunonzi chii uye vachiende kunyika ipi? 
   Jona : "Rwizi Limpopo vakanange Joni"

4. Mambo Pharoh vaigara kupi? 
   Jona: "KuState House" 

5. Mambo Jesu vakarova vanhu vaitengesa nekutamba njuga munzvimbo ipi? 
   Jona: "Coppa Cabanna" 

6. Nhai Jona ndiani anonzi akaendeswa kuhere aramba kunyenga mukadzi waPotifa?
   Jona: "ndiGumbura asi haana kuramba kunyenga, ndiye akatorambwa" 

7: Sei Zimbabwe senyika ichinzi iChristian  Country? 
   Jona: "Nenhau yekutora minda" 

8. Zvakaporofitwa nani uye kupi kuti tenzi wedu vachazo batwa vagoshungurudzwa vozorowerwa pamuchinjikwa? 
   Jona: "NdivaMakandiwa paJudgement Night 2" 

9: Zadzisa chirevo ichi: Enda kumujuru iwe simbe ugo.........
   Jona: "Ugorumwa zvekuti ukaone pane churu unosvipe mate" 

10. Ndiani waungati ndiye muporofita mukuru mubhaibheri uye nemhaka yei? 
    Jona "Magaya muhombe bcoz ave kuto sponsor nebhora".

mwana dofo gumbura church pentecostal prophet magaya

Kana zvadai ngati tize!

Pastor vaibva havo kuchurch nemota yavo ndokuona kamwana kachiedza kubaya interkom kachitadza  kusvikira vakamisa mota kuti vanokabatsira, vakakasimudza kakabaya interkom ikadairwa zvikanzi napastor yadairwa toita sei? Zvikanzi nekamwana ngatitizei 
mwana pastor pentecostal musikanzwa

Ambuya neMuroora pa introduction

Husb:mummy uyu ndiye muroora wenyu mudzimai wangu wandavekugaranaye.
Mummy:ndafara nekuzviziva.
Husb:Sweetheart ava ndivo moms vangu vaunongogara uchiti mwana weHure mwana weHure.ndiro Hure racho.kkkkkk uriwe muroora unoitasei
mwana hure ambuya muroora

Uri mwana here iwe

Mukadzi akabvunza murume wake kuti iwe why usingade kunditengera ma sweet. murume akati uri mwana here
mwana mukadzi murume

Baba vachida kunyima mwana nyama yeku gocha

Vamwe baba vaida kunyima mwana nyama yavaigocha ndokuzadza mhiripiri panyama. Nyama iya payakanga yoda kundoibva, vakaravira kamwe kanhango vachibva vafinyamisa kumeso kuti mwana awone kuti nyama yaivava zvisingaiti.
Mwana uya akabva ati: "Zvino baba mukadaro panyama saka majiggies hamungaagone. Zvotoda isu tajaira".
mwana gochi gochi baba kukara nyama

Handeyi hedu tinogeza mazino

Teacher: "Kana wakagara uchitaura nemunhu arikunhuwa mukanwa, unogona hako kumuudza uchiti chii?"
John : "aargh pano parikubhohwa handei hedu tinogeza mazino"
mwana mudzidzisi chikoro

Tiri kuendepi tisina kugeza?

Ndakakwira kombi nevamwe amai nekamwana kavo, kombi yese yati zii kamwana ndokuti "mama tirikuendepi tisina kugeza?"
mwana kombi mai masasi emu kombi

Amai ndiigireiwo mvura

Son: Amai ndiigireiwo mvura
Mother: Iwe simuka apo undotora wega ndinokurova
Son: Pamunouya kuzondirova ibvai mauya nemvura
mwana amai simbe nyope

Fembera fembera

baba vanoita ma jokes nemwana vasvika kumba fembera fembera kuti ndakuigirei mwanangu mwana anoti masweets daddy voti nzvee ndakuigira mabook mwana anodaroo kuna baba vake daddy fembera fembera kuti pasi pemubhedha panei daddy voti bhutsu mwana oti nzvee panasabhuku
mwana baba mai sabhuku

Musachapa vana nyama yehuku

Mai vaigara vachibikira vana vavo huku everyday. Zvikanzi nemwanasikana: ndakuda kuudza mama vasatibikire huku.
Mukomana: ko nei?
Musikana: ndakubuda mambava ehuku kuchinhu changu.
Mukomana: aaaah ndaiti ndini ndega hona oooh( kachideredza bhurugwa)
Musikana: ehe nhai manje wewe watova nechimutsipa chehuku.
Mukomana: mutsipa wega here bata uchidzika uone kwatova nemazai 2.
Musikana :ehe sure nhai manjemanje unenge wakutokandira
mwana huku mukomana amai nyama mwanasikana

Idyai spinach

Amai nevana are eating sadza nespinach and gotwe is refusing to eat.  Amai says , 
"Idya spinach iyi mwanangu  unokura wakanaka kumeso'                  
Gotwe asks ,''Asi pamakakura kwanga kusina spinach kani?"
mwana amai muriwo gotwe

Mwanasikana - Mubvunzo kuvabereki

Mwanasikana oramba kuperekedzwa kundokwira bhazi rechikoro oenda kubhazi ega. Manheru acho monzwa kt bhazi rakabheuka rikauraya vana vese. Pamunoti regai tonotora chitunha chemwana, motomuona achiuya, oti handina kuzoenda ndarara kuboyfreind yangu !! 
Munotenda Mwari here kana kuti boyfriend yake kana kuti modii?
mwana bhazi musikana mwari accident

Vana vamazuva ano havacharohwi sezvataiitwa!

Vana vemazuva ano havazivi kuti tairohwa (ivo vasati vazvarwa)

1. Kuchema kana warohwa kwairovesa
2. Kuchema usina kurohwa kwairovesa
3. Kusachema kana warohwa kwairovesa futi
4. Kumira vakuru vakagara pasi kwairovesa
5. Kugara pasi vakuru vakamira kwairovesa futi
6. Kufamba famba pakagara vakuru kwairovesa
7. Kupindura munhu mukuru kwairovesa
8. Kuramba wakanyarara munhu mukuru achitaura newe kwairovesa
9. Kugarisa nguva yakareba usina kurohwa kwairovesa futi
10. Kuimba wabva kutsiurwa kwairovesa
11. Kusakwazisa vaenzi kwairovesa
12. Kudya chikafu chabikirwa vaenzi kwairovesa futi
13. Kuchemera kuenda nevaenzi kwairovesa stereki
14 .kutorohwa kwairovesa futi

Tairohwa kani 😢😢😢😢😢
mwana chamboko

Masasi ema hwindi - Ndipei ndibate katsoko

Vamwe amai vakapinda mubhazi vakabata mwana wavo m umawoko. Hwindi akaramba akaatarisa mwana wavo ndokubva ati kwavari, "Amai, kutaura chokwadi handisati ndamboona mwana akashata kunge wenyu".

Amai vaye vakangomutarisa ndokuenda kuback seat ndokusvikogara paside pemumwe murume vachibva vati kwaari,"munoziva mahwindi anodenha zvenyu,uyo aripadoor angondiwanzira ndisina kumbotaura naye mufunge".murume uya ndokuti,"vanoda kutukwa,endai munomuudza magaramoyo ndosara ndakakubatirai tsoko yenyu".
mwana kombi hwindi amai masasi emu kombi tsoko shoko

Takasangana kupi?

Son: Nhai daddy makaberekerwa kupi?
Dad: kuChinhoyi.
Son: ko mhamha vakaberekerwa kupi?
Dad: kuGoromonzi.
Son: ko ini ndakaberekerwa kupi?
Dad: kuChitungwiza.
Son: Aaaaaah saka takasangana kupi?
mwana baba amai chinhoyi goromonzi chitungwiza

Manje waibatira payi?

Baba vaigeza parwizi nemwana, mwana achibva atsvedzera mumvura ndokubatirira oder yamudhara achibva abuda, baba kwava kutanga kuseka unstopable, zvikanzi nemwana:
"Asi muri kuseka kuti ndatsvedza here?" Baba ndokuti:
"Ndiri kutoseka kuti dai wanga uchigeza namai vako waibatirira pai"
mwana rwizi baba kugeza

Muenzi achi kumbira pokuvata

Muenzi akakumbira pokurara, before the parents could reply kamwana ndokuti‘:
"Pano pakazara hapana pokurara baba chaivo vanotorara pamusoro pamhamha"

mwana baba mai imba

Ndadonhedza mari - kutuma mwana wepa next door

Ndamuka ndine coin rangu, Ndabva ndatumira kumwana kepanext kunonditengera half loaf, ndakaona kachidzoka kasina chingwa asi kachidya yoghurt. 
Hanzi ndadonhedza coin renyu ndichienda Saka pakudzoka ndabva ndanhongawo rangu ndikabva ndatenga yoghurt 
mwana chingwa mari next door musikanzwa

Panze pane rima

Kumwe kubara so, 
Mai: "enda unotora huni panze"
Mwana: "panze penerima ndinotya"
Mai: "enda jesu aripo panze"
Ipapo Mwana akabva adongorera pahwindo zvikanzi "jesu kana muripo nditambidzeiwo huni..."
mwana mai jesu

Pane mwana atsikwa nemota akafa

Ndarwadziwa nhasi pane kamwana katsikwa nemota kakafa. Muridzi wemota kwaakuburuka ndokukasimudza akabata gumbo kwaakukarasa mumahuswa paside peroad masikati machena. Lucky kanga kari kamwana kembwa. Bt mwana mwana
mwana imbwa mota

enda unogezera shure

Amai vaigeza nemwanakomana wavo, ndokuti: "Enda unogezera kumashure usaone chunhu".  
Vakazoti vakotama vachida kunonga sipo, zvikanzi nechikomana: "Chinhu chenyu chave kuno, zvino ndogezerepi*?
mwana adult mai

Masasi ekubatsirana - mari yeku snake park

Hanzi unotoona munhu achiwana time yekunoona nyoka ku snake park asi achishaya nguva yekunoona vabereki kumusha. Vanhu itai mushe imi.
mwana mari masasi vabereki nyoka

Tezvara vane mhanza

Ndanyara wena. Ndakagara nababa vemukadzi (tezvara) vane mhanza, kamwana kangu kane 3 years karikuvarova mhanza kachiti: "Iwe sekuru enda kunogerwa zvakanaka buda muno"
mwana tezvara msikanzwa mhanza/mhazha

Bhadharai ndikuudzei akarara mubhedhuru

Hanzi nekamwana kuna daddy vako vabva kubasa after 2 months vasipo. Nhai daddy ndikakuudzai akasara achirara mubedroom namama munondipei? zvikanzi $5, zvikanzi ishoma, baba ndokupa mwana $50. Mkomana ndokutyorera muhomwe zvikanzi ndini hangu.
mwana bhedhuru mari baba

Mwana wemwanakomana vs we mwanasikana

Mwanakomana anobvunza amai vake ,ko sei mai muchifarira vazukuru vevanasikana,kudarika vana vedu?

Amai....aaah kuti zvitsva here mwanangu ,zvagara mwana wemwana sikana anofarirwa zvikuru nekut ndine chokwadi chekuti mwana wemwana wangu,zvino wako kungochengetawo pamwe haasiri wako handina rizere kut mzukuru wangu chaiye here.
mwana muzukuru mwanasikana hukama mwanakomana

Ndaka shanda makore mazhinju nemufi

Parufu chikafu chashomeka. Mutauri ndokuti " hama dzadiwa chikafu chedu chapera saka vachadya ihama dzapedyo" umwe mudhara ndokusimuka ndokuti " Ini ndiri umwe wevachadya sezvo ndakashanda nemufi kwe 14 years pasina kana kutukana" umwe ndokudhonzera mudhara pasi zvikanzi, "Iwe, mufi mwana anga ane  2yrs".
mwana rufu kukara chikafu mushakabvu

Ndiyai mudiki kumba kwenyu

Teacher: Tonderai kumba kwenyu ndiani mudiki?
Tonderai: Ndi daddy
Teacher:  Seyi wati ndi daddy?
Tonderai: Nekuti ndovachiri kurara namhamha
mwana mudzidzisi chikoro baba amai

Masasi ekupenga - mwana anonzi Robert

Ukapa mwana achangobva mukuzvarwa zita kuti Robert, haasi anozokunetsa kumubvisa pamukaka here?
mwana Robert Mugabe mukaka mucheche

kumwisa mwana uchi baya baya whatsapp

Zvakawoma zvemunyika. Ndasangana nevamwe sisi makuseni zamhu rimwechete riripanze vakatakura Handbag apa vari busy paWhatsapp ndakavabvunza ukuti indava vachifamba zamhu riripanze ririkurwadza here. Sisi vabva vakanda Handbag pasi vakabata muzoro vachiridza mhere ndakashamisika ini ndikati indava sisi ,vakati ndakangamwa mwana mukombi...

Whatsapp nikisi mhani
mwana kombi whatsapp

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