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Mwana haasi kuuya kubasa

Kwahi imwe shasha yakanakigwa nedoro ikafunga zvekurovha kubasa, yakabvay ati zvandinekachikwezvamarokwe regai ndifonere bhasi vangu, chinzwai manje nyaya yacho, hasha: 
" I am sorry my son is not coming to work today he's not feeling well", shefu vaya vakabva vabvunza kuti ndiri kutaura nani,zvikanzi: 
"It's my father speaking sir".

Ndofira maBanana

Mumwe muchinda aishanda pafarm yemurungu. One day akatumwa kutemha maBanana. Muchinda uyu akakwira mumuBanana akadonha zvakaipisisa kwazvo. Murungu akabva amhanya zvikuru akawana muchinda uya achiri pasi akangoti zii. 

Murungu akabva ati: "How do you feel?" 
Muchinda uya ndokubva ati: " Ndofira maBanana enyu Bhasi!!!!!!!"

Yango nyarara yega...

Manje mumwe muchinda airima netractor papurazi remurungu. Tractor iye yakabva  yangoerekana yanyarara. 

Murungu akasvika akati " whats wrong?"

Muchinda uye akadavira achiti "just shut up!", apa aida kuti yangonyarara!

Basa pano

Mumwe mukomana akasvika pane imwe kambani pakanga pakaiswa chikwangwani chakanyorwa kuti Basa Pano, achibva apinda achiti ndazoriwana zvino, akasvika parisopusheni achibva anzi aende kwameneja, akasvikobvunzwa nameneja kuti aida basa rei iye ndokuti, " RR will be fine",  pa aireva kuti rese - rese.

chikwata chiri kutsvaka basa

Ukanzwa anoda vakomana 2 vemombe ndinavo Goche na Mutasa and vanoda DJ ndina Shamhu. Vanoda barman ndina Mavhaire, musikana wemumba ndina Mujuru, wemwana ndina Muchena. Pliz vanhu ava vanoda basa iri nezuro chaiye ok

Tsamba ya Brighton yekuramba basa

LETA OF STOPING JOB.

Dear bhosi

I ryt this leta to refuz job as gardenboy. Enafu is enafu! Yu didi not add money from long ago. U giv mi young money witch can only by 5 pakets of shuga. Evry moon yu giv mi envilope, I open only to c young money inside. One de I wek ap let bcoz i was seek, madam kik me lyk soka. My board was hate lyk I waz bitten 619 race-ling. This is ova, am also a woman beeing.

Yrs fatefuli

Braai-tone

Makumbo akawandisa

Vamwe blaz vakaenda ku pet shop vakati ''i want something special, thats rare, thats exclusive'' 
Akanzi: ''pane imbwa inohukura national anthem'', akati kwete. Ndokunzi ''pane tsoko inogona kuverenga nekunyora'' akati kwete.
Pakazonzii ''pane zongororo rinoita mabasa ese emumba'', akati ''ndipei!''

Asvika kumba akati "zongororo, geza ndiro, wotsvaira nekukorobha mumba mese''. After 30 mins imba was spotless. Akabva ati ''timba nekudiridza garden'', very fast zongororo anga apedza, mface was impressed, akati ''horaiti chienda shops unotenga zvinhu zve b/fast".

Mface akamira 1hr, no zongororo, 2 hrs still no zongororo, after 3hrs akafunga kutevera shops, paakavhura door akawona zongororo akagara pasi akaribvunza nehasha ''ko iwe 
ndakutuma kudhara uchiri kuitei?"
Zongororo akati ''ita steady mhani, ndichiri kupfeka bhutsu MAKUMBO AKAWANDISA!"

Kutamba pa basa

Hosiah Chipanga akabvunzwa kuti why paBand renyu murimi munongotamba mega zvikanzi hapana mushandi anobvumirwa kutamba pabasa

Mukadzi asinga shandi anonzi chii

Hanzi vakadzi vanogara pamba (vasinga shandi) vanonzi D.C.C. zvichireva:
Daddy Chakati Chapera!!

Mai Chisamba - Kujairira basa kwakaoma

Mai Chisamba vachitaura nemurume wavo:

Hubby:  My love, I love you with all my heart!

Mai Chisamba: Eheee ndizvozvo varoverei maoko. Mafungiro avowo!!!

Interview yemunhu ari kutsvaka basa ne demo

Unomunyima sei basa akadai uyu......
In an interview:

Q: Vakuru, basa riripano nderekutema nekugobora miti, manje hameno kana makamboriita before because rinoda physical fitness, makamboshandawo here basa rakadai?
A: Yah, ndobasa rangu chairo, ndakarishanda kwemakore.
Q: Maishanda kupi?
A: Ndakasevenza ku, ku, ku, kwainzi ku, ku Kalahari Forest, ku Botswana.
Q: Do u mean 2 say Kalahari desert?
A: Heya imi munoziva rava desert ka? Raiva sango rese riya, tisu takaritema kusvika rizonzi desert.
Q: So for how long did u work there? I mean your experience?
A: 34 years!
Q: How old are you?
A: Ndine 28 years.
Q: So how come kuti your work experience is more than your age?
A: Ndairova maovertime

Tsamba kuna Aunty Rhoda - Ndakawanikidza mukadzi ane chikomba

Kuna Tete Rhoda

Ndaita dambudziko guru chairo. Ndinoshandira imwe kambani hombe inoita zvekugadzirira wine. Ndine mkadzi nevana vana. Mkadzi uyu ndava nemakore 18 ndiinaye.

Rimwe zuva boss vangu vekubasa vakashanya kuZambia. Se munhu anga ari panight shift uye mushina wakafa ndakati regai ndidzokere kumba ndindorara hangu. Ndakawana mkadzi wangu akarara pamubhedha wedu nemukomana anoroja panext door. Ndapererwa tete gandichazivi zvokuita. Ndibatsireiwo

MHINDURO YATETE

Nyika ino yaurawa nevanhu vakaita semi musingadi kugara pabasa.kana boss asipo.hazvina kunzi chienda kumba undorara. Usaita tsika yakaipa kudaro yokunzvenga basa. Ndimi munoita kuti economy yedu idzikire. Dai boss vako vakakuranga zvakaomarara kana kutokudzinga basa racho vatsvage munhu ane hanya nebasa. Vamwe vanotorishaiwa basa racho iwe uchitoita rekutamba naro kudaro. Next tym usaita zvekutamba nebasa uchidaro

Wandigumbura kwazvo

Tete Rhoda

Ndiyani angaba shumba?

Ndakawana graft paLion n Cheetah Park, 3 months ndichishanda bhoo murungu kwaakundidzingira kuti ndakasiya gedhi repa lion enclosure rakashama pandakachaisa. 
Anorwara! Anofunga kuti ndiyani angabe shumba?

MaZimbo hatino tongwi kudenga

Nhasi ndafara pandaona verse inoti vanhu vachatongwa nemabasa ndikati yes yes yes muzimbabwe hatitongwi coz mabasa hakuna

basa chiiko nechirungu?

PAITA BASA:

Work - Basa
Job - Basa
Employment - Basa
Profession - Basa
Task - Basa
Role - Basa
Duty - Basa
Occupation - Basa
Purpose - Basa
I don't care. - Handina basa nazvo.
It doesnt matter. - Hazvina basa.
Troublesome - Panebasa
Condolences - Nemabasa
Acts - Mabasa
It's challenging - Ibasa chairo.
Hectic - Panebasa
Thank you! - Maita basa!

Saka basa chiiko nechirungu?
Zvariri basazve kutsvaka zvinoreva basa nhai.
Panebasa shuwa!

Ko kuri sei kumabasa?

musiyano wekupenga nekupusa

Vamwe boss vai mhanyira ku meetting mota, yavo ndokubva ya ponja. Pavakati vaise spare wheel, vabvisa raka ponja riye, mabhaudhi akabva awira muDrain. 

Boss vakabva vagara pasi vakabata shaya vapererwa nemazano kuti zvino voitasei

Pakarepo pakasvika benzi raifamba richinhonga muma bin rakapfeka marengenya akasviba ndokuti kuna Boss vaye :

Benzi: makadii henyu
Boss : mushe ibva pano!
Benzi: ko ndikubatsirei
kusunga vhirika?
Boss: hazviite coz mabhaudhi hapasisina awira mu drain.
Benzi: pamavhiri enyu matatu asara madii kubvisa bhaudhi 1 apa 1 apa 1 mosunga vhiri muone kusvika kwemuri kuenda

Boss vakashamisika ne idea yakadaro ndokuti:
Boss: zvaunenge unopenga wani ko izvi wazvifunga sei.
Benzi: Kupenga neKupusa zvakasiyana vakuru vangu! Ndinopenga but handina kupusa semi

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