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VaMasendeke vati Munhu wese!

MASENDEKE akasvika paigeza vakadzi parwizi ndokuti "nhasi ndinokuridzai mese". Akabva atanga nemusikana akanga aripo, ndokutevera pane mumwe, ndokusvika pane muroora. saka pakange pasara kamwe kachembere kane 70 years. saka muroora akbva ati zviri nani modzokororaini pane kuridza ambuya because vakura. kachembere kakabva katanga kupenga kachiti "IWE WAGARA UNE UDYIRE VaMASENDEKE VATI MUNHU WESE! SAKA CHAVE CHIJANA CHANGU!"

ukaiswa shuga mumukanwa...

kwahi panyaya dzeservice idzodzi-idzi vamwe kule-kule vakanga vagarisa saka vakazopindwa nemunyati wekubata kazukurusikana chibharo, time-time yakazoketwa kuti ndiyo yavajingirisa, vachibva vangwatwa ndokukandwa zandezi, zuva recourt rasvika kule-kule vakajamuka vakati mayazi kazukulezi kakadonhera pamunyati, amajasitiriti vachibva vati," ko zvamakaona kadaro makadii kukadzinga?", zvikanzi nakule-kule, "a-ah koiwe ukaiswa sugar mumukanwa haunanzviri?"

Zvituko

1. Kusviba kunenge pasi pejende ra hudhu
2. Kumusha kure kunosvika mai nababa varambana
3.Baba vako vanosenza kwa lobels asi munomwa tee nemagwavha
4.Kusviba kunenge munhu akaputikirwa neusiki
5.Baba mbavha mai hure
6.Kufarira mota kunge imbwa yechirungu
7.Guvhu rinenge bhaudi rendege

Zvituko

  1. Baba vako vanonyepa kuti varikuenda kubasa ivo vachinotambisa kite kumabvuku.
  2. Wakazvarwa naambuya amai vaenda kutsime.
  3. Ndosaka wakanyera amai vako kuti mubhedha unonzi sleeping, munhu asina kupfeka anonzi empty.
  4. Face inenge kumbare.
  5. Wakaramba mukadzi nenyaya yekuda kuzvibikira.
  6. Unonyebera vanhu kuti unogona muchikoro iwe uchiita basa rekudrawer zvandinenge ndanyora mubhuku rangu.
  7. Hunduwe isina chigaramachende.

Asi chii nhai mai mutasa

Ko yakazoitika, VaChisvo vakanyimwa pakati one day nawifers. Vakazama kukumbira madam ikati mayazi ndakaneta. Saka munoketa kana yamira samanyika yamira..so SaChisvo dzikati adzimai woye ini hangu handingazvikuriri onai zvekuita. Mai bhoi ikati no, torai $50 mudzika neraini, handifungi kuti mungashaya wekukwira. Chisvo dzakamhanya after 1hr ndokuzodzoka. Madam ikarova inquiries kobaba mawana here zvamafambira. SaChisvo ikasasa kuti ndazokiya mai vanogara panhamba 5.

Chopazi madam yakabvunza how much the man paid and he had paid yese $50. Zvikanzi namadam asi Mai Mutasa chii nhai, vakuitirai $50 asi vaMutasa ndinosovaitira $20..Asi chii..

Musazvi bigga mahara

Well, there was this guy. Muface uyu akanga ane >>>>> hombe and so everyone mumaraini akanga asingachadi zvektambira mudhuze naye. Izvi zvakaita kuti muface afunge zano rokumbofamba KuMasvingo uko akanga anzwa kuti kune rimwe hure rakanga risanganzwe chinhu kana rabva bubhaudwa. 

 Hure iri raiti rapera kuita sex nemurume raiti tora zvako mari yako nokuti haundigutse. Saka muface akazoti asvika kwaririr Hure rikati shamwari ""don't waste my time, nokuti haungatombo ndigutse." Muface akati okay but ngatingo try. 

Akati ayipinza huro for the first time rikati ranakirwa. Rakati zvino ngariedze kubatira nekumagaro, ndokubata mhepo. Izvi zvakrishamisa ndokutarisa kumashure kuti rione kuti nei, rakanga rabata mhepo, ndoukuona muface akamira 50m away. Rakabva rashokwa, uvhomora, ndokutiza richiti, idzi ndidzo dzinouraya.

Paqeue

Vamwe blaz vakanga varasika saka ndokuzongosvika paden peimwe king paiva pane security. Saka blaz dzakakumbira pekurara.King vaiva nembama yemwana musikana and mai king vaibika nyemba pamoto.Saka blaz avhunzwa naking kuti ainzi ani akati ndonzi Matako, kuna mai king akati ndonzi Kapeche Kemwana, kuna mwana waking akati ndonzi Nyemba Dzatsva.

Saka time time blaz dzakasara nekamoko kaya vari vega blaz ndokukwira kamoko.Saka kamoko kakatanga kuchema kachiti amai huyai muone Nyemba Dzatsva. Saka mhomz yaidaidzirawo back ichiti isa mvura kaiwe.Time time yakazoti rega ndinoona kuti dzambotsva sei wanike ah! blaz vari kurova zvinhu wanzwa.

Mhoms yakatanga kudeedzerawo kuna king manje, Ikati baba huyai muone kapeche kemwana, apaking vakati ah! mai bhoyi ndingaone kapeche kemwana here ini.Mhoms yaramba  ichideedzera king vakati rega ndimboona kuti kamboita sei kapeche aka.Padzakapinda
muden blaz vachibva varova shuz vakananga kughedhi kwaiva nemaguard.

Zvikanzi na king "Batai Mata- aa-ko, ndati batai Matako". Security detail ichibva yaisa pfuti pasi ndokubata matako apa kablaz kachipfuura.

udzai vana chokwadi

John(6yrs) ari kubva kuchikoro anosangana nezvikomana zvitatu. chimwe chezvikomana izvi chinomutuka chichiti, "mboro yababa yako." john  kanosvika kumba kobvunza amai koti "mhamha chii chinonzi mboro." mhamha vanoti, "ruoko mwanangu." remangana acho john kanoenda kuchikoro kosangana nezvikomana zviya zvinomutuka zvichiti, "beche ramai vako." john kanosvika kumba kobvunza amai kuti beche chii. amai vanoti, "iziso mwanangu." john kanonzwisisa konyarara hako.

remangwana acho mumba makazara vaenzi amai vanoti, "john ndigachidze kapu iyo." john kanoti, "handisvikiri tumai baba vane mboro refu." vanhu vese vaiva mumba vanokatyamadzwa nazvo votanga kuseka vachiburitsa musodzi mumaziso. john kanomira pamberi pavo koti, " ko! muri kunyanya kusekei zvemunobva maburitsa musodzi mubeche?"

Gogo vakaura jaya re 25yrs

Magistrate ~ Nhai gogo mune makore mangani,
Gogo - 85 mambo wangu
Magistrate - saka zvakafamba sei kuti musvike pakuuraya jaya rine makore 25?
Gogo - kakomana aka kakauya ndigere zvangu, ndokundi mbundikira zvinoronyoro, ropa rangu ndokumhanya. Kakabva kapuruzira mazamu ndakatanga kumerera muviri wese, ndokubva kanditsvoda ndinzwe bvunzi rangu kumira richiti nyaunyau...ndokubva kanditakura ndokundiwisira pamubheda ndakanzwa kumhanyamhanya mudumbu nemufaro...hapano kabvisa bhurugwa rangu ndikadikitira nekunyorvera netarisiro...ndopakakabva kati "Happy April Fools Day!"
Kana ndimiwo magistrate maiti ndaigodiniwo pakadaro? Ndakamuuraya ipapo ipapo!!!

Unomwa here Joe?

Mukoma Joe vakazvinhongerazvavo bhebhi kubhawa ndokunanga kumba . vasvika bhebhi rakabvunza zvikanzi "unonwa here Joe " blaz vakati vanotonwa heavy. vaviri vakanakidzwa usiku hwese pasina protection.
Kwaedza, mukoma vakaona bhebhi ravakunwa maARV vakati "bhebhi haudaro sei usina kutaura kuti uri positive?" bhebhi "inga joe ndakabvunza wani nezuro kuti unonwa here ukati unonwa"

kusheedzwa kwe register

Kubva tiri mafomu 1 mateacher edu aisheedza register achitanga nesurname e.g Peter Gomo ainzi Gomo Peter. Zvakazopera tamu form 3 pakauya mumwe mface ainzi Admire Jendera

ku testa mudzimai

Hanzi mumwe muface akaroora akachata saka aibvunza kuti ndoziva sei kuti mkadzi wangu i virgin.Zvikanzi neumwe, "Unotenga virgin test. Paint ye Black neye Red ne Sando." Zvikanzi ndodii nazvo? Zvikanzi, "Wopenda rimwe jende red rimwe black, wobvisa bhurugwa. Ukanzwa mukadzi akati aaah handisati ndamboona machende akadai worova munhu nesando"

Unomwa here

Mukoma Joe vakanotora zvavo bhebhi kubhawa ndokuuya naro, bhebhi rikabvunza mukoma Joe kuti: "Ko unomwa here?" Joe akati," ndinomwa heavyyyy."

Vaviri ava vakavata husiku hwese vachitandadzana pasina protection, ndokuzoti kwaedza bhebhi ndokutanga kunwa zvaro maARV.

Mukoma Joe ndokuti, "Bhebhi haudarozve! Seyi usina kundiudza kuti uri positive." 
Bhebhi rikati ,"handiti ndakakubvunza kuti unomwa here ukatoti heavyyy"

hure iri rasiyana nemamwe

Man going kuBhawa nemukadzi wake kunotandara vachimwa murume ndokuenda kutoilet mukadzi asara rimwe hure ndokuti utange wapiwa mari murume iyeye haabhadhari uye haadi condom mukadzi ndokungoti hoo ndokuuya vamwe two futi vachitaura same statement murume achingopinda kubva kutoilet akawana mukadzi atotsamwa ndokusvikonzi hande tonopedzerana tave kumba vachongonopinda muTax mukadzi ayingopenga dzamara tax driver ati hure raurinaro nhasi rinopenga rasiyana nemamwe aunosimbouya nawo.

Yambiro kuvanasikana

Mufundisi achiparidza muChechi, "Imi, Vasikana! Dzikamai,muRoorwe! Kwete kuita seNdege yeku Malaysia!"
VaTendi ndokubvunza. "Ndege yekuMalaysia yakaita sei nhai Mufundisi?"
Mufundisi ndokupindura vachiti: "Yakakwirwa nevanhu 200, naNhasi haisati yawanikwa!"

Ndibatire nyanga!

Two boyz dzemombe dzaiita basa rekukwira mombe kana vaenda kumafuro. Umwe aibata nyanga dzemombe mumwe okwira pachuru orova yemombe. Kana apedza mumwe ainobatawo nyanga mumwe wake oitawo. 
Rimwe zuva mumwe apedza kuita akaramba kubatira mumwe wake nyanga. Izvi zvakamugumbura achibva aramwa kufudza mombe ndokutanga kudzokera kumba.
Mvura yakatanga kunaya achibva asvika rwizi rwazara. Akanzwa inzwi remusikana achichema ndokutarisa mumvura akaona musikana ainge onyura. Semukomana aiziva mvura akasvetukira murwizi ndokubatsira musikana uya. Musikana akabva ati sezvo wandibatsira taura chose chaunoda. 
Mukomana akatarisa chimoko akaona chakabatana chakasimba akati. Wati chero chandada? Musikana akati chero chawada ndinoita. Mukomana akati, "ko kana pane mumwe munhu aripo unobvuma kuita zvandinoda here?" Musikana ndokuti hongu. 
Mukomana akatora musikana uya ndokudzokera naye kumafuro kwaiva nemumwe wake. Asvika akati kune mumwe wake. " Kana wanga uchiti wakangwara wairasa." Akadana musikana uya kwaari ndokuti kumusikana. "Ndibatirewo nyanga" achibva atanga kukwira mombe.

Wasu - fodya mubhazi

Wasu vakabatidza fodya yavo mubhazi ndobva zvanzi nevamwe mai, "Argh imi mukwasha madii kuburitsa musoro nepahwindomatikwadza nehutsi," zvikanzi naWasu, "Aiwa, tibvirei apo, imwi mwabve kwese iyo mweisura pane amboti budisai matako enyu ngepa windo ere?"

Masasi ekupenga - charles manuchi

Breaking News:
Vamwe ana Baba vaakutonzi ana Manyuchi!
Kupedza 1 round in 2min 45sec

Varume nema ministry avo kuvakadzi

  1. Minister of Finance - murume anongokumbirwa mari achingodyiwa
  2. Minister of Defence - uyu ndiye wekumaraini kwaanogara anoshandiswa kutyisidzira vakomana vanomunetsa
  3. Minister of Infrastructural Development - uyu ndiye anoshandiswa kutenga hembe, kugadzira musoro, ma nails etc
  4. Minister of Tourism - uyu ndiye anopota achishandiswa kuti babe riende kumafaro kana kushanya kunzvimbo dzakasiyana siyana munyika kana kunze kwenyika
  5. Minister of Foreign Affairs - uyu haagari munyika anopota achiuya vachitamba dzakahwanda
  6. Minister of Transport - uyu ndiye anongoshandiswa kupota achiendesa babe kwarinenge richida
  7. Minister of Rural and Urban Planning - uyu ndiye anoshandiswa kubhadhara rent kana kutenga residential stands
  8. Minister of Information and Technology - uyu ndiye anoshandiswa kutenga expensive fones (gadgets) dzinoshandisa whatsapp ne facebook yekutsvagisa more ministers
  9. Minister of Agriculture and Food Security - uyu ndiye we food, ma pizza and all
  10. Minister of Home Affairs - uyu hapana kana chaanotengera babe ndewekungoshanda zve bedroom chete and iri razor inotozivikanwa naizvozvo. 
  11. Minister without portfolio..ava vanenge vari brother vekuchechi,vanenge vakaperera chaizvo asi vasingazive kuti bhebhi ravo muti wemusango.kana kiss havapihwe brother ava and havana kana stress nazvo coz vanenge vakazvichengetera kuti vozoita kana varoora

enda unogezera shure

Amai vaigeza nemwanakomana wavo, ndokuti: "Enda unogezera kumashure usaone chunhu".  
Vakazoti vakotama vachida kunonga sipo, zvikanzi nechikomana: "Chinhu chenyu chave kuno, zvino ndogezerepi*?

isa yese

Unotonzwa mumwe munhu achichemerera kuti isa yese isa yese ini ndini ndoiwana kupi ini ndichitoita  zvekupimirwawo sugar yacho handisirini ndakati kutonhore kaa ini 

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