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Ranga rawira kuseri kwe durawall

Amai Jeni vawacha hembe dzavo vaisa padurawall. Pakunotora manheru bhurukwa ravo ranga radonhera panext door kuseri kwedura wall. Ko vanozivei!

Vabva kubasa baba vepanext door vomemawo musha wavo manheru aya. Aa vabva vadhumana nebhurukwa. Vanodana kamwana kavo vobvunza kuti raive raani. " Mai Jeni" mwana anodaira. "Chienda unovapa"

Pakusvika kwamai Jeni kamwana kanosvikoona baba Jeni. " Hanzi nababa bhurukwa ramai Jeni iri..."

Paqeue

Vamwe blaz vakanga varasika saka ndokuzongosvika paden peimwe king paiva pane security. Saka blaz dzakakumbira pekurara.King vaiva nembama yemwana musikana and mai king vaibika nyemba pamoto.Saka blaz avhunzwa naking kuti ainzi ani akati ndonzi Matako, kuna mai king akati ndonzi Kapeche Kemwana, kuna mwana waking akati ndonzi Nyemba Dzatsva.

Saka time time blaz dzakasara nekamoko kaya vari vega blaz ndokukwira kamoko.Saka kamoko kakatanga kuchema kachiti amai huyai muone Nyemba Dzatsva. Saka mhomz yaidaidzirawo back ichiti isa mvura kaiwe.Time time yakazoti rega ndinoona kuti dzambotsva sei wanike ah! blaz vari kurova zvinhu wanzwa.

Mhoms yakatanga kudeedzerawo kuna king manje, Ikati baba huyai muone kapeche kemwana, apaking vakati ah! mai bhoyi ndingaone kapeche kemwana here ini.Mhoms yaramba  ichideedzera king vakati rega ndimboona kuti kamboita sei kapeche aka.Padzakapinda
muden blaz vachibva varova shuz vakananga kughedhi kwaiva nemaguard.

Zvikanzi na king "Batai Mata- aa-ko, ndati batai Matako". Security detail ichibva yaisa pfuti pasi ndokubata matako apa kablaz kachipfuura.

udzai vana chokwadi

John(6yrs) ari kubva kuchikoro anosangana nezvikomana zvitatu. chimwe chezvikomana izvi chinomutuka chichiti, "mboro yababa yako." john  kanosvika kumba kobvunza amai koti "mhamha chii chinonzi mboro." mhamha vanoti, "ruoko mwanangu." remangana acho john kanoenda kuchikoro kosangana nezvikomana zviya zvinomutuka zvichiti, "beche ramai vako." john kanosvika kumba kobvunza amai kuti beche chii. amai vanoti, "iziso mwanangu." john kanonzwisisa konyarara hako.

remangwana acho mumba makazara vaenzi amai vanoti, "john ndigachidze kapu iyo." john kanoti, "handisvikiri tumai baba vane mboro refu." vanhu vese vaiva mumba vanokatyamadzwa nazvo votanga kuseka vachiburitsa musodzi mumaziso. john kanomira pamberi pavo koti, " ko! muri kunyanya kusekei zvemunobva maburitsa musodzi mubeche?"

Ma presents kuna mai

Paiva nevamwe vana vaiva naamai vaibva kuGhana. Rimwezuva vakafunga kutengera mai vavo mapresents, wekutanga akatenga mota yekufambisa vachinoona hama.

Wechitwo akatenga imba ine marooms 36, wechithree akavatengera parrot yaizovavaraidza ichitaura zvisina basa.

Mai vacho havana kunyatsofara nekuti vaiti havana hama muZimbabwe saka vaisazoshandisa mota yacho. Kune wechitwo vakati havana munhu wekugara naye mumba macho asi vakatenda wechithree vakati wakandipa kahuku endekainaka.

Pakati penyu muri vaviri...

Mudhara akasvika kumba wife namaid wakagara hawo. Wife ndiye akatanga 

Wife: Maswera sei daddy? Daddy ziii.
Maid: Maswera seiko baba? Mdhara zii.
Wife: Ahh ko zvaitaseiko nhai baba mwana. Kwakanaka here?
Daddy: kuchinaka chii, pakati penyu muri two pane akandipa siki...

Ndabika zvamuno farira

Wife : dady kasikai kuuya kumba nhasi ndabika zvamunofarira chaizvo. 
Husband : wakatanga riinhi kugona kubika LION LAGER.

Ka hwindi kechidiki

Amai vakatengera mwana toy yekombi. Kakomana kakatanga kuitambisa kachideedzera kachiti "vabereki 4 4, Tafara Mabvuku kwagogo! Ko imi makamirirei? Murimhata" The mother overheard her son and was angry. She took away the toy and hid it. After a while vakanzwa tsitsi mwana wavo angonyarara. She give him the toy bck. Gare gare vakanzwa mwana akudeedzera achiti "vabereki tadzoka handei 4 4 Mabvuku, soriyi mota yanga yatorwa nekahure ketraffic!

Ucha chatawo rini

Pese pandaienda kumichato yeshamwari dzangu vamwe ana mai vemumaraini vaingonditi ''Ko iwe ucha chatawo rinhi vamwe vari kungochata?''

Izvi zvaindirwadza chose, zvaka zopera pandaiti ndakasangana nawo panhamo ndovadzunzawo kuti: "Ko imi muchafawo rinhi wamwe venyu varikungoenda''

Takasangana kupi?

Kid: Nhai baba, maka zvarirwa kupi?
Dad: Harare
Kid: Ko mama?
Dad: Goromonzi
Kid: Ini?
Dad: Chitungwiza
Kid: Saka takasangana kupi?

Tiri kunzi tine nhumbu ya bhiridha

Daddy vanobva kubasa vanodana vadzimai vavo kuti vagare pedyo navo pasofa.

Daddy :Darling hanti pamuchato wedu mufundisi akati tava nyama imwe.
Madam : Hongu ! Kana bible chairo rinodaro.
Daddy : Izvi zvichimborevei??
Madam : Zvinowana imi zvawana ini uye mhosva yenyu imhosva yangu.
Daddy : Very good , zvino tirikunzi takamitisa musikana wedu webasa.
Madam : iiiiiiiiiihhhh!!! Inga zvatiwandira tirikunzizve tine nhumbu yabhiridha.

Dzimba Dzakaoma!

Dzimba dzakaoma vakomana.Ndakazviwanira zvangu babie rangu raive steady ndikati regai ndiroore hangu.Takabva taita kamwana kwedu.Sezvo mari yainetsa mukadzi akati otsvaga basa tibatsirane.Pasina nguva ndakanzwa mukadzi oti awana basa pane imwe lodge.Zvakadaro takabva tatama kubva pamba yevabereki tave kuno lodger kweduwo sezvo mari yakanga yave kubatana manje.Problem yakazouya pandakati regai ndirovere chipikiri chekuisa picture frame.Aaa ndakatambura coz madziro ainge akaoma iwayo.Ndipo pandakaona kuti Dzimba dzakaoma.

Baba vangu imbavha, mai vangu...

Mudzidzisi akabvunza vana vose mumwe nemumwe mabasa evabereki vavo kamwe kakataura: "baba vangu imbavha ,mai vangu ihure..."

Teacher vakatsamwa ndokuendesa mwana kwaheadmaster. Mushure mwana akadzoka achidya apple teacher ndokubvunza: "wanzi kudii nahead?" 

Kakapindura: "hapana vandipa apple vakatora number dzamai vangu chete..."

mwana akaona muroi

Mwana: Nhai Daddy hanti varoi vanofamba vasina hembeka?  
Dad: Hongu, wakamuonepi muroi?  
Mwana: ndakamuona nezuro maskati pandakabva kuchikoro, ndakawana mama vachiroyewa nemuroi pasofa, but vakange vatomubata vachitokudaidzai vachichema kuti daddy, daddy, daddy kani !

Mai vanoda zvinhu

Mai vekwangu ndavatadza hama dzangu. She wants a present fo evrything; birthdays, month end, Easter, weekends, Heroes... Well zvishoma izvo, today I woke up to a shock, hanzi, "..darling, what are you buying me for xenophobia..?"

ndatya kuti pamwe ndo baba vangu

Mumwe murume akabata mukadzi wake nechikomba. Akarwisana nechikomba chakabva chamukurira. 
Mwana wake mukomana aivapo asi haana kubatsira baba vake, akangoramba amire zvake. Baba vakamuti sei warega ndichirohwa usingandibatsire? 
Zvakanzi ndaona kuti amai ihure. Ndakarwisa chikomba pamwe ndoo baba vangu chaivo.

vanhu vakabvepi?

Little girl asks her mom, "nhai mhamha, vanhu takabva kupi?"
Mum, "vanhu vakatanga vari makudo. Ndokubva vatanga kushanduka zvishoma kusvika vave vanhu, muchazvidzidza kuchikoro."
The little girl wanted a better elaboration from her father and she asked him. 
"Nhai daddy vanhu vakabva kupi?"
Dad - "Munhu akasikwa namwari. Kwakatanga kusikwa Adam naEve, ndivo vakazobereka vanhu vese". 
Daughter - "ko inga mhamha vati vanhu vakabva kumakudo?"
Dad - "Ini ndakuudza kwakabva family yedu, mhamha vako vakuudza kwakabva family yavo."

kubhadharana pa hotera

Mai Tindo was driving, semunhu anga aneta ndobva vatsvaga Hotera yangairipedyo. After 3hrs vamuka vakuda kuenderera mberi nerwendo vakasvika pacounter kuti vabhadhare:
Mai T: How much kurara kwandaita?
Cashier: $250
Mai T: Ahh yakawandisa, deedzai manager!
..Manager comes...
Manager: Ehe ndizvo. 250 because tine maSwimming pool munomu.
Mai T: Handina kuswimma ka ini?
Manager: Imi maregererei? Plus tine vaimbi, tourist attraction, maSports akasiyana siyana
Mai T: Panezvese hapana chandaona ndanga ndakarara
Manager: Maregererei? Hanti manga muri muno zvenyu.
..Mai T vanobudisa chikwama chavo vobhadhara $50..
Manager: Ko imwe $200?
Mai T: Ndakubhadharisai kurara kwamaita neni!
Manager: Handina kurara nemi...!!!
Mai T: Hanty ndanga ndiri muno? Saka maregererei?

Ndoda ana mai vakafa

Mother: Nhai Joe mwanangu wave nemakore mangani?

Son: Ndaane 35 amai.
Mother : Saka kureva kuti hausati wave
nemskana waunoda kuroora here?

Son : Kwete amai ndinaye.

Mother : Kozvino chakumisa chiiko nhai
mwanangu iyezvino kubasa waporomotwa
tarisa makurire ezimba rino rawa kapiwa raunongogara wega. !

Son : Ndicharoora amai kana nguva yakwana.

Mother : Ndiri amai vako Joe nditaurire
chokwadi kana pane zvinonetsa tione zvekuita ?

Son : Chete amai musikana wangu ndomuda kuti ndiputse chitsidzo naye chekupinda
musvitsa tave ne15 yrs tichidanana hazviite.

Mother : Ah 15yrs saka arikuenda kuchikoro here?

Son : Kwete aakutosevenza asi kuti kubva ndichimu pfimba akati haadi kuroorwa
nemukomana ana amai vapenyu.

Mai vanoda rubatsiro

Ndevapi Amai vanoda rubatsiro aps:

  1. Vanotamba paroad show
  2. Vanoyamwisa mwana vakamira
  3. Vanorasira masadza mugarden
  4. Vanotsvaira yard vachiimba kuma 4am
  5. Vanonanika magumbeze aitirwa weti nemwana vasina kuawacha
  6. Vanobvisa mwana madzihwa nehembe yaakapfeka
  7. Vanonwa mvura nechigubhu chinogara nemvura mufridge
  8. Vanopukuta patable nechikorobho
  9. Vanorega macalender emakore akapfuura akaturikwa kumadziro
  10. Vanoswera vakasunga pulling socks mumusoro
  11. Vanoenda kunotenga chingwa vakapfeka night dress
  12. Vanoenda nemwana wavo kunonamatirwa naPastor wavanogara vachinyeya kuti haana mweya.
  13. Vanorara vasati varatidza muenzi paacharara
  14. Vanoenda kunopopotera murume kubasa
  15. Vanoshandisa matooth pick vachidzosera mugaba mune mamwe
  16. Vanoenda kunhamo kumusha vodzoka munhu asati avigwa
  17. Vanokumbira mvura yekubika cerevita yavo panhamo
  18. Vanogezera mazino mukitchen sink

Vana ngava baiwe jekiseni re gwirikwiti

Ndichivimba kuti maswera sei sei kwese kwamuri,  ndaida kungoti kwamuri Kune vaya vanoti kuvarume kana vakadzi vavo "baby" plz endayi navo vanodonhedzerwa Vitamin A nekubayiwa Measles ne Rubella

Chihure

Umwe mface akuudzwa kuti kana achinge aenda kubasa mukadzi wake anoisa chikomba paden. Rimwe zuva akati ndoda kumbozvionera ndobva audza mkadzi kuti ndichamboenda kubasa ndichaita vhiki ndisati ndauya. 
Akava aenda, mkadzi ndokufonera chikomba zvikanzi "baby huya zvako tine party yeweek rose!" 
Muchinda haana kunonoka ndobva asvika ndokupinda muroom rakaipa, bedroom, ndokuita 4play vachingopedza kukurura ndokunzwa ko..ko..ko..ko pa door.
Muukadzi: "ndiani "
Murume: "ndini baba aTawanda vhura door"
Lucky imba yacho ndidzo dziya dzekumaruva dzechikare dzinoti pasi bedroom pamusoro pocroswa matanda panoiswa zviyo &then roof pekupedzisira. Mukadzi akafunga zano chop chop zvikanzi, iwe kwira pamusoro apo uvate ipapo tozoona zvimwe zvekuita. 
Sezvo pakange pasisina zviyo zvakaita easy ndobva chikomba charara chakatarisa pasi semunhu aitya. Muridzi wemba ndokupinda. Semunhu ange achinzwa zvese, akarara pabed akatarisa mudenga. 
Saka jende rechikomba rakabudira muroom repazasi mkadzi ndiye akatanga kuriona ndobva adzima light murume zvikanzi batidza light pane chandisina kuona mushe..'ko icho chiiko mai T'. 
Mukadzi: "ibhero ndatengera manzuma iya yekushupa ndizvozvo chete ndidzime zvangu" 
Murume: "mira ndoda kunzwa kuti rinorira sei" achitora nduku ndobva ari buuu kurova zvikanzi "ngendeee".." inga rinorira zvinofadza rega ndidzokorore zvakare" achibva abata nemaoko ese kwaku rova ngesimba zvikanzi."ndati ngende mhani".

No joy kana sisi vebasa vasipo

Mama vachibvunza sisi: Ko iwe wakazongoenda kuweekend usina kutaura?
Maid: Ah mama, inga ndaka updater status wani pafacebook kuti "Going kumusha for the weekend,will be back on Monday. Murume wenyu akato comenta kuti 'Safe journey, will miss you so much, no joy kana usipo!'"

Tiri kuendepi tisina kugeza?

Ndakakwira kombi nevamwe amai nekamwana kavo, kombi yese yati zii kamwana ndokuti "mama tirikuendepi tisina kugeza?"

Fembera fembera

baba vanoita ma jokes nemwana vasvika kumba fembera fembera kuti ndakuigirei mwanangu mwana anoti masweets daddy voti nzvee ndakuigira mabook mwana anodaroo kuna baba vake daddy fembera fembera kuti pasi pemubhedha panei daddy voti bhutsu mwana oti nzvee panasabhuku

Vana varambidzwa kuenda kushow

Baba vakarambidza vana vavo kuenda kushow yajah prayzer ndokuvakiira muroom mavo. Vana vakaboora buri pamusoro pamazen'e ndokuenda kushow. Vadzoka vana vakapinda mumbaa mvura ndokutanga kunayaa. Vana vakadaidza baba kuti tave kunaiwa. Baba vakati tichapavhara kana kwaedza. Kuchiedza baba vakadana mai ndokuvatsika pafudzi kuti vakwanise kuvhara buri iri vana vachtamba panze. Pamba pakasvika muenzi ndokubvunza vana kuti kovabereki varipi, vana vakati vakakwirana mumba umo vari kuvhara buri ratakabuda naro

Muenzi achi kumbira pokuvata

Muenzi akakumbira pokurara, before the parents could reply kamwana ndokutiā€˜:
"Pano pakazara hapana pokurara baba chaivo vanotorara pamusoro pamhamha"

Panze pane rima

Kumwe kubara so, 
Mai: "enda unotora huni panze"
Mwana: "panze penerima ndinotya"
Mai: "enda jesu aripo panze"
Ipapo Mwana akabva adongorera pahwindo zvikanzi "jesu kana muripo nditambidzeiwo huni..."

enda unogezera shure

Amai vaigeza nemwanakomana wavo, ndokuti: "Enda unogezera kumashure usaone chunhu".  
Vakazoti vakotama vachida kunonga sipo, zvikanzi nechikomana: "Chinhu chenyu chave kuno, zvino ndogezerepi*?

ndiyani aivata namai baba vasipo

Hanzi nekamwana kuna daddy vako vabva kubasa after 2 months vasipo. Nhai daddy ndikakuudzai akasara achirara mubedroom namama munondipei? Zvikanzi $5. Zvikanzi ishoma, baba ndokuti oo $50. Chikomana ndokutyorera muhomwe, zvikanzi ndini hangu. 

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