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Kuvhura kwavaMuzenda Jeri rekwaGutu

Pa official opening yejeri rakanga ravakwa kwaGutu naMzee, akasimuka ndokupa speach yake akati, "Vanhu vangu tarisai ndakuvakirai JERI rakakura kudai, ndoda murishandise nemazvo riite fully utilised.
Zvamurimi ndigozonzwa kunzi razara nevanhu vanobva Bulawayo, Mutare, Harare etc IMI muripo. Ijeri renyu iri, ndavakira imi kwete vamwe vanhu, Ndizvoka ????? "

ZPS competition (Zimbabwe Prison Services)

Win a trip to Chikurubi Maximum Prison and stay there for as long as you want,just sms,"I sell mbanje" to 112 and stand a chance to win free clothes,free meals,free accommodation!!!!!
Sponsored by ZPS.

chinoz vaita accident

JUDGE: Ko chinoz tanzwa kuti watsika vanhu 5 muroad ,chii chaitika
CHINOZ: Zvaitika ndezvizvi vakuru, mota yangu yaputika vhiri ndichi driver mukamwe karoad
JUDGE: e-e?
CHINOZ: Saka kuleft kweroad kwakune vanhu 4 ku right kune 1 ,ndikati rega ndiende kuright zviri nani ndiuraye 1
JUDGE: Zvamamafunga wani.. ko chii chazoiitika kuti muuraye 5?
CHINOZ: Chazoitika ndechekuti 1 uya anga ari kuright azotizira kuleft kune 4 vaya ,saka pandati nditevere 1 uya bva ndabatanidzira nevamwe 4 vaya

nani kuita mupositori

Ukadzidza ne simba unoenda ku UZ mononyimwa chikafu momhanyisana ne police.
Ukaba, unoenda kujeri mononyimwa chikafu momhanyisana ne police. 
Saka ndodini manje, ndava confused... ndagaya ndakuita mupostori , ndomhanyisa police ne tsvimbo!!

Chinoz vachitaura nezve mutongo wa Gumbura

Reuben Barwe: Achinotimba munotii nemutongo waGumbura 40 yrs pakubata rape kwaakaita? 
Chinoz: Aaa kana vachiti kubata rape 40 yrs, ko isu tinoirima a bva kufira mujeri. Ini pandakazvinzwa kuti Gumbura apiwa 40 yrs pakubata rape ndakabva ndatoitema,ikozvino ndorima tsunga, covo, muboora nechembere dzagumhana nezvimwe zvakadaro kwete rape ndofira mujere. Kana kubata kuchiita 40 yrs kuzoti kuirima.

Mazuvano tava kuchaja nezviri mukati

Mbavha mbiri dzakaenda kucourt mushure mekunge dzaba muSupermarket... 

Judge: "iwe wekutanga taura tinzwe wakabei?"
Mbavha 1: "Ndakaba gaba rehove".
Judge: "Maiva nehove ngani?".
Mbavha 1:  "Shanu"...
Judge: "Mazuvano takuchaja nezviri mukati saka makore mashanu mujere".
Mbavha 1: "kikikiki"...
Judge: "ko uri kusekei?"..
Mbavha 1: "ahh kutoseka hangu shamwari yangu yakaba gaba reBHINZI!!"

Chii chiri nani jere kana university

Hanzi Zimbabwe Prisons and Correctional services irikubetsera vasungwa kuti kana vabuda mutorongo waone mabasa ekuita but varikubuda mumauniversity varikushaya mabasa saka ndechipi chirirani kuenda kujeri kana kuuniversity?

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