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Nhamo yemuroora

Nhamo yemuroora:

Aite mudiki - Haa kakanyanya kuita kadiki, kachamuhurira

Akure - Mukadzi uyu mukuru achamutonga.

Anyarare - Mukadzi waGoddie akati kwindi.

Ataure - Akachenjeresa pamuromo pake hapamharwe nenhunzi.

Awonde - Mukati Goddie haana kutitorera murwere imi? 

Asimbe - Ringatadze nei kufuta richiswera rakangoti pweshe? 

Agare natete - Akatorera mwana wangu Angela kuti amuite musikana webasa.

Arambe kugara natete  - Haridi vanhu kumba kwaro kunge ndiro rinoshanda.

Abikire muenzi tea - Asi anopenga nhai imi? Tea, isu taswera nayo kudai?

Abike riri sadza - Zvakaoma asikana, munhu wandanyatsoudza kuti ndamukira bhazi? Ari kuti tea ndainwira kupi?

Abvunze kuti ndokubikirai chii?  - Kunyima ka uku, mweni anobvunzwa?

Atumire vana kumusha - Ho, isu tisu tisina zvekuita, atumira vana kuti iye asare achibatei?

Arege kutumira vana - Ah, anomboda kuti vana vake vauye kuno? Pamwe zvinonzi tingazovaroya.

Agare mazuva mashoma kumusha - Maiwe kanomboda zveruzevha? Nungo dzega dzega

Agarise kumusha - Anotozoenda ameka shuwa kuti tushuga twaakauya natwo twapera.

Atambe chiramu nababamunini - Matambiro ake naSydney ndeechihure. Achatibatira mwana takatarisa. 

Arambe kutamba chiramu - Mukati haana zisekuru rakamugara? Munhu asingadi kana kugumwa nemuramu wake?

Atumire grocery - Anoziva sei zvandisina? Adii kutumira iri mari ndatenga ndega?

Atumire iri mari  - Shuwa munhu anonyatsoziva kuti kuno zvinhu zvinodhura asi ndopaanotumira mari, adii kutenga ikoko otumira riri grocery?

Ashaure panhamo - Aiwa kuvhengezera tinokuziva isu, apa kuimba kwacho haakugone.

Anyarare panhamo - Iii, makaonawo makwindimariro aainge akaita parufu rwasekuru Agripa akati dzvondo kutarisa chitunha?

Auye kuzobikawo doro nevamwe kumusha  - Zvakaoma munhu wechurch anosanganisa

Arege kuuya - Haadi kubatirana nevamwe.

Aite tsika - Ummm mukati haana kumbenge akaroorwa kumwe iyeye? Zvese izvi anozvizivira kupi?

Arege kuita tsika - Haana kana kurairwa.

baba vanoenda kubasa netsoka

Teacher: Baba vanoenda kubasa netsoka vanonzi chii?
Fatso: vanonzi Stepfather

tonde na nhamo

Tonde aigara panext naNhamo muclass. Tonde aikopa Nhamo kusvikira pakukopa nezita chairo. Nhamo akazoudza Tonde kuti asakopa zita instead aise zita rake panenge pakanzi Nhamo . 
Muraiidzi akazoshamiswa netsumo dzaiti :
  1. Rugare tange tonde.
  2. Kuseka tonde kunge rugare.
  3. Tonde itonde zvayo amai havaroodzwe.
  4. Tonde yeumwe hairambirwi sadza.

ndipei risina hupfu

Hupenyu hwakaoma ndirikunzwa hangu mwana wepanextdoor ari kuchemera sadza mai vacho varikuti hapana hupfu iye arikuti arikuda rakadaro risina hupfu

driver dzora volume

Vamwe mai mukombi vakafonerwa vakati driver ndinokumbirawo udzikise volume yeradio yako. Driver akadzikisa volume vanhu vese mukombi vakanyarara. Mai vaye vakaisawo foni yavo pa loud vakati: "Hallo baba vaChipo matiiko?" zvikanzi  nemurume: "Ndati sei wasiya usina kurasa weti yako irimubucket?"

Nha

Nhamo na Welly vaidzidza vese mu class imwe. Nhamo aigona chikoro zvekuti bhe! Asi Welly waiva dofo ramakoko, zvekuti aitopona nekukopa Nhamo. Saka Nhamo aka chema chema kuti
shaa usakope zvese nezita unochinja woisawo rako.
Mangwana acho vakabva vapihwa bvunzo reshona raisanganisira tsumo,hoyo Welly avakuti pese pakanzi Nhamo iye kwaakunyora Welly. 

Hedzo tsumo dzaakanyorwa naWelly ,
  1. Welly yemumwe hairambirwi sadza .
  2. Rugare tange Welly 
  3. Kuseka Welly kunge rugare 
  4. Welly iWelly zvayo amai havaroodzwe
  5. Welly neman'a hazvisiyani
  6. iWelly yefodya kuti uku yakarumwa uku inotsva

Advantages enhamo dzedu mu Zimbabwe

Advantages enhamo dzedu muZIM:
Umwe mukadzi akabata murume wake aine small house. Akatsamwa akaenda kumba kumba ndokusvikogadzika poto yake yemafuta pastove afunga zvekudira murume mafuta anopisa. Akagara hake achimirira murume kuti auye mafuta achisanopisa. Murume achingopinda mukadzi akabva angoti poto iya bidzu ndokudira murume wake. Murume akashaya kuti ko mukadzi akuita sei. Mukadzi ndipo paakazoona kuti kwanga kusina magetsi....

Rand ranetsa 2015

Veduwe nyaya yecoin yanetsa ndazonzwa rimwe bofu mutown richiti ndokumbirawo rubatsiro asi marands ndiku rater!

Mitengo yegore ra 2008

Muchazviziva here kuti musi wa 15 October 2008 mitengo yanga yakadai:

  • Loaf re chingwa—Z$14 000 000-00
  • 2kg sugar—Z$60 million
  • Box rematches—Z$2 million
  • 2L cooking oil 一Z$85 000 000-00
  • 2L paraffin   一Z$35 million
  • Exercise book A4一Z$9,5 million
  • Eversharp 15M  一Z$5m
  • Harare to Mutare 一Z$950 000 000-00
  • Frm S.A to Harare in rands R150 to Z$50 000 000 000 / 50 billion
  • TV, bed 一Z$1 quad
  • Motor bik 一Z$3,5 Trillion

Bond Coin - usaore moyo

Chero vanhu vakakuramba usaore moyo! Mangwana ndiwe unenge wakudiwa.... Tarisa uone zvakuita Bond Coin kudiwa kupfuura Rand !!!

kare mari yaitenga chaizvo!

Unonzwa vakuru vachiti kare mari yaitenga chaizvo! Ende zvinhu zvanga zvakanaka! Asi chinoshamisa ndechekuti unonzwa vachiti taienda kuchikoro  nemangayi, maheu, kudya sadza nemhodzi dzemanhanga...
Unotoshaya kuti mari yacho yaitenga mangayi here. 

Bond coin ne rand pa tuckshop

Wotosvika paTuckshop uchida maheu wobvunza kut imarii zvobva zvanzi 5rand iwe neconfidence wobudisa 5 rand yacho.
Ndipo paunonzwa zvonzi aah mari idzi hatisi kutambira mazuva ano dzirikuzotinetsa. Tirikuda mabond. Wotoshaya kuziva kuti bond rakazoita rand riinhi?
Ndopaunozoona kut zvidzidzo zvegore rino ukaita zvekutamba unofoira.

Ma stands ari kutengeswa

Mozoti hatina kukuudzai kuti kune mastands arikutengeswa. Panodiwa proof of residence, id card, bank statement deposit $50 wonoratidziwa stand yaunoda! Ingave candle stand, solar stand TV Stand zvose zvirimo nemaRadio stands

Ingadayi yava dhora fifty

Sekuru vakatuma muzukuru ne50cents kundotenga coke. Muzukuru ari munzira mari yakabva yarasika ndokutsvaga asi akayi shaiwa. 

Gare gare sekuru vakaita follow up ndokuwana mzukuru achingo zeya zeya ndokubvunza kuti zvaita sei, zvikanzi "mari yarasika". Sekuru vakabva vatanga kupopota vachirova mzukuru zvakaita kuti apedzisire akudzorerawo. 

Vari mutsumburumbu iyi, pakabva pasvika pastor zvikanzi munorwirei ndobva vaudzwa. Zvikanzi na pastor "mungarwira 50cents?", vachibva vapa $1 kuna sekuru. 

Pastor vava kuenda, vakangotii fambei zvishoma nyonga nyonga ndobva yatangazve! Zvikanzi zvaita sei futi? Sekuru vakabva vati "mzukuru arasa coin rangu!"  Pastor vakabva vati  "inga ndakupai $1 wani?"

Sekuru vaya vachibva vati "Ingadai yave $1.50"

Zimbabwe yakachipa kufona kana uri ku Gehena

Mubritish, muamerican  nemuzimba vakafa vakaenda kugehena. 
Akatanga mubritish akada kufonera vanhu  vake vekuUK kuti anzwe kuti vasara sei. Akapiwa akafona 5minutes apedza akabvunza kuti imarii satani akati $5million ndokukumbira computer kuti atransfer mari yacho.

Tevere muamerican kusada kusarira akafona 15minutes kwakubvunza kuti imarii satani akati 15million akamunyorera cheque.

Muzimba akafonera vanhu vake akataura 48hrs kwakubvunza kuti imarii satani akati $1, muzimba akachibvunza kuti chii chikonzero? Zvikanzi naSatani kana urikugehena uchifonera Zimbabwe zvakachipa coz iLocal.

Zvinhu zvisingachataurwi nemazita muZimbabwe

Zvinhu zvisingachataurwi nemazita muZimbabwe:

  • Aenda - Magetsi
  • Adzoka - Magetsi
  • Haisi kubuda - Mvura
  • irikunetsa - Network
  • Yarohwa futi - Chelsea
  • Adonha futi - Mugabe

Mazhanke imarii - rand, bond coin

Me: Mazhanje imari
Vendor: 5rand
Me: Oyi 5rand
Vendor: Sorry hatitore Rand
Me: But mati 5Rand
Vendor: 5rand yemaBond!

Masasi emunhu ashaya pay paChristmas

Masasi emunhu ashaya pay paChristmas:
  1. Haiwawo, rice and chicken tagara tichingozvidya everyday, saka hazvishamisi.
  2. After all ndanga ndagara ndisiri kutraveller this xmas.
  3. Zvinaana machips, pizza nemacake zvinomisa moyo wangu mazuwano
  4. Andidi vana vanoenda kumaraini, vana mai Tino vanovhaira ava.
  5. Haiwawo christmas ndeye 1 day, inopfuura, nxaaa.
  6. Vatotigonera, tinotochengeta mari yemafees nemauniform next term, christmas inopedza mari

January Disease - phone yawana buyer

Ne January Disease iyi, ukawana munhu anzi, "left group" ziva kuti phone yawana buyer!

January Disease - Dai achipera hake January

Dai January achipera hake zvimwe zvatava kunzwa kuti zvinonaka so.  
Hanzi nyevhe yasangana nematemba zvinonaka umwewo hanzi rice rine avocado umwe hanzi spagheti rine dovi zvinonaka zvidhakwa hanzi ndaisaziva kuti krango inonaka inoda wadya chete, vakadziwo hanzi jolly inonaka especially uine ma ice inobva yaita coke chaiyo kkkkkk dai achipera hake January ukuwo vanoenda kubasa hanzi vakomana vemakombi vanodada ndava kuenda nema pickup.

Ma clarks edhora

Kwedu kujecha kwatinobva, kwatakazvarirwa...usazoshamisika ka ukanzwa mwana achideedzwa onzi " enda unotenga ma clarks e-$1 tibikire vaenzi" ... anenge atumwa nzondora...

Mari haikwani

pana amai vanevana vavo vatatu vanotambira $2000 na house girl anoda $80na gadern boy$70 first born anoenda kuvarsity anoda $800 second born ari kucollege anoda $650 third born ari form four anoda $250 apa vanodya chikafu che $50per month! aah izvavakutoda vanogona maths kufunga kwako amai vanoshandira mari pamwedzi

Interview yemunhu ari kutsvaka basa ne demo

Unomunyima sei basa akadai uyu......
In an interview:

Q: Vakuru, basa riripano nderekutema nekugobora miti, manje hameno kana makamboriita before because rinoda physical fitness, makamboshandawo here basa rakadai?
A: Yah, ndobasa rangu chairo, ndakarishanda kwemakore.
Q: Maishanda kupi?
A: Ndakasevenza ku, ku, ku, kwainzi ku, ku Kalahari Forest, ku Botswana.
Q: Do u mean 2 say Kalahari desert?
A: Heya imi munoziva rava desert ka? Raiva sango rese riya, tisu takaritema kusvika rizonzi desert.
Q: So for how long did u work there? I mean your experience?
A: 34 years!
Q: How old are you?
A: Ndine 28 years.
Q: So how come kuti your work experience is more than your age?
A: Ndairova maovertime

Roora - mkwasha asina mari

Tezvara: Gogoi $10, Makandinzwa nani $10, Matekenya ndebvu $120, Vhuramuromo $300. Chimbobvisai iyoyo mkwasha tichazotaura imwe nekufamba kwenguva. 
Mkwasha: Ndafamba ndisina mari baba ndati ndimbonzwa ma price. 
Tezvara: Urikuti kudii nhai Sinyoro?
Mkwasha: Ndati ndauya kuzotora ma price chete mukaona ndati zii moziva kuti maprice akanyanya. 
Tezvara: Wati kudii? Chibuda uende kumba kwako! Ndozvawatiunganidzira pano tichisiya mabasa? buda!! Kamani out! 
Mkwasha: (rambei akati shikiriri kugara akatsikitsira). 
Tezvara: Uchiri wakagarirei ndati buda! 
Mkwasha: handina mari yebhazi

mukwasha asina chinhu

There was this mukwasha who was so poor aiti akaenda kwa ambuya nevamwe vakwasha kana nyama aingopiwa a bit vakwasha vanemari vachidya hobho. One day vakaenda as usual and he was given almost huku yose and was very happy kuti pamwe they discovered kuti he was the best. After eating akatenda nemoyo wese ambuya zvikanzi ......."Muchitendeiko Huku yacho yakafa yoga Saka ndaona kuti vamwe havangadyi zvakafa zvega"

Munyama uri kumbobvepi

Murume: mai mwana hanty paya pandakarwara nemakumbo wanga uineni
Mukadzi: hongu baba
Murume: paya pandakadzingwa basa kwandaishanda wanga uripo
Mukadzi: ichokwadi daddy
Murume: pandakatsikwa nemota waingova neni
Mukadzi: ehe ishuwa darling
Murume: munhamo nematambudziko ese wanga uripo
Mukadzi: its true my luv (about to cry nerudo)
Murume: saka ndaona kuti pese pandakatambura waingova neni so: CHISIYANA NENI NDIWE UNONDIPA MUNYAMA!!!

Maticha haazivi zvaanoda!

Mateacher makanzi pfekai mauniform mukaramba. Hezvo nhasi hurumende yoti irikutanga kubhadhara mauniformed forces imi mochema. Saka munodei chaizvo?

Nhau dzema pay dates 2016

Hedzinoi nhau mururimi rwechishona:

Munyika yezimbabwe ma pay dates ave kugarirwa dare kunge mari yeroora. Kumirirwa kuti abude kunge mudzimu.

MaZimbo hatino tongwi kudenga

Nhasi ndafara pandaona verse inoti vanhu vachatongwa nemabasa ndikati yes yes yes muzimbabwe hatitongwi coz mabasa hakuna

Madaidzirwo oita vana baba mazuva ano

Mazuva ano varume vakudaidzwa nekuwana:

$1000 zvichikwidza: Honey.                   
$700 - $900: Sweetheart 
$400 - $600: Daddy.       
$200 - $300: Baba Bee, Baba Vee etc...         
$100 - $190: Mhofu, Dhewa, Shumba, Mukanya etc...                                  
$100 zvichi dzika: Madzibaba, Munhu washe etc...

N'anga uchatambura kwemakore gumi

mumba masangoma:
MURAPWA: Asekuru ndauyawo kuti ndizonzwa kuti upenyu hwangu hwuri sei pamberi apa!
N'ANGA: "Iii mzukuru,ndiri kuona uchimbotambudzika zvakaoma kwemakore gumi!!"
MURAPWA:"Asi zvichizoita nani here kana 10years dzacho dzapfuura?"
N'ANGA:   "Hongu,zvichaita nani nokuti unenge wajaira!"

baby unogara wakachena

Prosper: baby unogara wakachena chaizvo asi zvanhasi zvakanyanya. 
Tariro: thanx, ndaisaziva kuti ndinochena zvinoyamurawo 
Prosper: no ndiri kureva kuti unogara wakachena muromo nenzara.

Borrowdale ne budiriro

KuBorrowdale kwaifanirwa kunzi kuBudiriro because kwakazara vanhu vakabudirira.Ku
Budiriro ndiko kwaifanirwa kunzi kuBorrowdale because team yeikoko haizorore kukwereta,they borrow big time.

Nhamo yekupedzisira

Wakamborohwa nenhamo here kushaya pekutangira kushaya zvekuita , kugumirwa kuedza zvese zvichiramba ,kusvika pastage yekuda kutengesa calendar 

Valentines prayer yemadzimai

Prayer for Valentine's Day:
Mwari komborerai njere dze varume vedu vakwanise kuziva nokuona musiyano weKUSHAYA NE KUOMERA

Muchengeti wenyama nedoro parufu

If yu think money is the only thing that changes step yemunhu then hamusati maona munhu ane key dzepanogara nyama nedoro parufu

  • Anoda kunanzvwa
  • Anoda kuomberwa
  • Ko iko kuzoda kuenda pakahwanda kuti atsvagwe

Murombo haarove Chinenguwo

Rondedzero 

Murombo haarove Chinenguwo 

Murombo na Chinenguwo vakaenda kunochera mvura kuchibhorani zvavo vari vaviri, Murombo kwakurasa mvura ya Chinenguwo, vakomana ava vakarwa zvisingaite, Chinenguwo aripamusoro chete, ndipo pandakaona kuti Murombo haarove Chinenguwo

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