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Sei uchigara wakandi siya

Paiva nematwins mukomana nemusikana kana vakatumwa kumashops vaienda vachimanya saka kasikana kaigara kachingosiiwa umwemusi vachigezesiwa kasikana kakatarisa kukakomana, kakati aah ndosaka uchindisiya unekagiya

Mukomana achi pfimba musikana

Kunyenga kwakaoma akomana. Mumwe muface akati achinyenga babie apererwanemasasi akabata ruoko rwe babie zvikanzi "unomboziva kuti ndorutyora here..."

Unobatika papi?

Muface: uri pa whatsapp?
Chimoko: aiwa
Muface: ko facebook?
Chimoko: aiwa
Muface: ko twitter hayo?
Chimoko: handipo
Muface: saka uri pai?
Chimoko: ndiri pa eco-cash

rest in peace

Kudanana na Village girl ma 1. 
Boy.... "Goodnyt swit, !
Girlfriend..... "ok switheart, rest in peace...."

unodya wega, ndazvimbirwa

Mumwe muface akanda nebhebhi rake kuchicken Inn ndokubva vadya 2 piecer yake yake. Vapedza ndokudya maicecream apa vangavaguta manje mface akazoti kuna waiter "tipewoka matooth pick" zvikanzi nebhebhi richiyemerera " aah shamwari matooth pick unodya wega ini ndazvimbirwa

kupfimba ne bhaibheri

Tindo achishandisa bhaibheri kupfimba:

Tindo: Une mukomana here?
Girl: Handina
Tindo: Gen 2:18 "Jehova Mwari akatizve, Hazvina kunaka,kuti munhu agare ariwoga, ndichamuitira mubatsiri akamukwanira.

Girl: Handikudei bhudhi.
Tindo: 1 John 4:8 Usingadi haazivi Mwari, nokuti MWARI RUDO

Girl: Ndoziyasei kuti urikurevesa nemashoko ako aya?
Tindo: Matt 12:34 Nokuti muromo unotaura zvizere pamoyo

Girl: Manje ndoziya sei kuti wakatendeka muzvokwadi?
Tindo: Mark 13:31 Denga napasi zvichapera asi mashoko haaperi

Girl: But why wada ini? Vasikana hobho pasi rese
Tindo: Prov 31:29 Vakunda vazhinji vakaita zvakanaka, asi iwe unovakunda vese.

Girl: But waonei mandiri chaita kuti undide?
Tindo: Song of Solomon 4:7 Akaisvonaka, iwe shamwari yangu, Hakuna gwapa kwauri.

Girl: Uhmmmmmm, wakuwedzera tunzungu iwe?
Tindo: Prov 31:30 Zvinofadza zvinonyengedzera, unaki hauna matura. Asi mukadzi anotya Jehova, ndiye anofanira kurumbidzwa.

Girl: Saka ndikabvuma chii chinoitika?
Tindo: Gen 2:24 Naizvozvo munhu anofanira kusiya baba naamai vake, anamatire mukadzi wake vave nyama imwe.

Girl: Uhmmmm, sei uchiziya bhuku dzvene kudaro?
Tindo: Joshua 1:8 Bhuku iyi murairo haifaniri kubva pamuromo wako asi unofanira kurirangarira masikati nousiku kuti uchenjere kuita zvose zvakanyorwamo. Nokuti nokudaro uchazviwanira mufaro panzira yako nokubata nokuchenjera.

Girl: Woow, i can see you love God
Tindo: Ps 34:8 Ravirai henyu muone kuti Mwari Havana chinhu chakanaka chavangashaiwa.

Girl: Mmmm, ok chimbondipa nguva ndifunge nezvenyaya yako
Tindo: Philippian 4:8 Pakupedzisira hama dzangu zvose zvazvokwadi zvose zvinokudzwa, zvose zvakarurama zvose zvakachena zvose zvinodikanwa zvose zvinorumbidzwa kana kunaja kupi nekupi kana chingarumbidzwa chipi nechipi, fungisisa izvozvo

Girl: wow, Tindo ndinenge ndatokuda ini
Tindo: Revelation 22:21 "Amen"

Pakuroorana pane zvinoregedzwa

Gal: Tiikaroorana unofanira kuregedza fodya
Boy : Horaiti
Gal : nedoro
Boy : iri bho.
Gal : hapasisina zvekuenda ku Down Town , kana kuBowls Club, ku eclipse toenda tese kana uchienda.
Boy : zviri munzeve
Gal : wosiyana nenyaya yekunoona bhora nemaface ako totsvaga Dstv redu bhora roonerwa mumba.
Boy: ka1
Gal : hapana chimwe chandasiya here? Chii chimwe chaunoda kurega?  Boy: ndoda kurega ukuroora!

Mathew 7 v 7

Themba akanzwa kuti kune pungwe kuZCC akati regai ndimbonoona kuti kwakamira sei, achisvika akawana mufundisi achiti yave nguva yekuzorora chimborarai zvishoma. Sezvo kwaitonhora Temba akatanga kutsvaga angamubatsira kuti adziirwe. Themba akafunga kutsvaga zvihunhi, achingoti fambei kubva pavanhu akaona vamwe sisi vachiwaridza ndokukumbira gumbeze ndokunzi huyai mupinde sezvo paive pagungano ramwari hapana chakaipa chaifungirwa. Akati adziirwa ropa rakatanga kumhanyamhanya Themba ndokutsvanzvadzira garo rasisi, sisi vaya ndokuti Metthew 7 v 7. Achinzwa izvi Themba akazeza akasiya , garegare akapamha sisi ndokdzokorodza Metthew 7 v 7. Kwaedza Themba akatenda ndokuenda zvake. Kuzoti aveega akavhura vers riya ndokuwana richiti kumbira unopihwa. Naizvozvo hama yangu ziva shoko ramwari usazo potswa nezvinonaka

Tammie

Boy :  Hesi shaa
Girl  :  Hi
Boy :  Unonzani?
Girl  :  Tammie
Boy :  Ndo zita rako rese?
Girl. :  Aiwa....
Boy :  Ropedziswa sei?
Girl :  Tamamanenhamo.

zvigumwe eleven

Jonso ndiye aiva mface muhombe muform 3c apa aichena achidiwa nema bhebhi but gwazhi manga musina. Rimwe zuva akazopfimba chibabe chaidiwa nateacher vemaths chimunewcomer. Teacher vakagaya kuwachisa Jonso muleson. 
Teacher: "Jonso 5+5 answer ndiyani ?". Kuti averenge zvigumwe achionekwa Jonso akatya kumakisa.  Kwaakuisa maoko muhomwe ndokuverengera. 
With confidence Jonso dzakazodaidzira " Answer ndi 11 sir."

Ndokupa makumbo

Ndanzi neka babe kepa next door ndibatsireo kuundura huku kana tapedza ndokupa makumbo

Handisi kumhanyisa pfungwa here?

Handidi zveku dyiwa ne chimoko

Givhi: ko kabhebhi kaya wazodii nako
Tindo: ndakasiya ini handidi zvekudyiwa
Givhi: wazviziva sei wangotaura nako 5 minutes
Tindo: kati zita rangu ndonzi Chelsea. 

Ndakadya guru

Yekudhakwa yakaoma! Mumwe mukomana akatenga guru ndokurisiya kumba nekuti magetsi ayenda. Akadzokera kubhawa ndokuzofunga kunobika pakadzoka magetsi, asi light rakabva ratsva. 
Apinda mumba akabatabata pa table ndokutora guru rake ndokucheka cheka ndokuisa mupoto. Akaisa ma onion nemadomasi kuti zvinyatsoibva zvose. 
Chakamunetsa ndechekuti rakaramba kuibva kusvikira apakura rimwe ndokudya zvakadaro achiti iguru rebhuru rachembera. 
Ava mangwnani, akashanyirwa ne musikana wake iye asati amuka ndokuudza musikana kuti abike kasadza ke bhabharasi nekuti akasiya usavi manheru.
Musikana apedza kubika sadza, ndokuisa kapoto keusavi pastove. Paakavhura poto wanei mapisi 7 e towel rokugezesa zvakanyatsosangana nemadomasi. Musikana ndokubvunza mukomana, "wakadya nei mamheru", zvikanzi neguru. Mukomana akazoti ava kundoogeza, wanei guru riri mu shower rakatocheneruka sipo.

Civil Servants - Yapinda here babe?

Nhasi ukanzwa murume nemukadzi vachibvunzana kuti yapinda here babe? Usavhunduka, Ipay yemu civil servants irikurehwa 

Ndatambira

Musikana akaona whatsapp status yemufesi wake yakanzi ndatambira. chinzwa conversation pakati pevaviri:

Thelma: Hello hun
Majid: Wakudei inga wanga usingachade zvekutaura neni?
Thelma: Im sorry hun 4n yangu yaishandiswa nesister yangu. Saka toita sei zvawatambira sweet?
Majid: Toenda kurufu ndatambira shoko rekuti hanzi sekuru vashaya
Thelma: Usandikwidze hasha makuseni ano, zivai zvekuisa pastatus

Ndini Kero

Inzwa conversation iripano:
Mukomana aida kutaura nechimoko asi changa chisina fone, so akafona pane yababa wacho.
Baba: haloo
Muface :halo ndingataure wo na stella
Baba: ndiwe ani
Muface: ndini Kero
Baba: unoti ndiwe Caro anenzwi rechirume manje hausi kuzotaura naye kana usina kundiudza kuti ndiwe ani
Muface: inga ndirikutaura wani kt ndini Kerovhini

Musachapa vana nyama yehuku

Mai vaigara vachibikira vana vavo huku everyday. Zvikanzi nemwanasikana: ndakuda kuudza mama vasatibikire huku.
Mukomana: ko nei?
Musikana: ndakubuda mambava ehuku kuchinhu changu.
Mukomana: aaaah ndaiti ndini ndega hona oooh( kachideredza bhurugwa)
Musikana: ehe nhai manje wewe watova nechimutsipa chehuku.
Mukomana: mutsipa wega here bata uchidzika uone kwatova nemazai 2.
Musikana :ehe sure nhai manjemanje unenge wakutokandira

Masasi ekupenga - Kupfimbana

Kupfimba kwakaoma, umwe mface abva kubvumwa nebaby nyaya bvadzapera. Kushaya nyaya chaiko.....akabva abata rwoko rwebby..... Kwakuti unozviziwa here kuti ndorwutyora urwu. . 
Umwewo ndiye akati abvumwa sanhasi mangwana akunoona baby abva ashaiwa kuti otangawo sei  nyaya zvikanzi ndimi makadai kutida 
Mumwewo akazoti aona babie akushaya kuti otanga nyaya sei akazoti...... garazviya ndiyani mukuru iwe namai vako?

Chikomana chinofarira sadza!

Jane.: Babe ndakusuwa ukuitei?
Tindo.: Ndikudya sadza bby.
Jane.: Ko dai ndiripo dai tichiitei?
Tindo.: Dai wakanditarisa ndichidya sadza.
Jane.: Ko dai pasina sadza?
Tindo.: Dai Nditori kutobika sadza.
Jane.: Tomboti dai pasina hupfu?
Tindo.: Dai tiri kuchigayo ndichigayisa hupfu hwekubikisa sadza.
Jane.: Sadza munorida hantie... Sadza neni chii chamunoda sterek?

Tindo.: Nxaaaah usaenzanise sadza nezvinhu zvisina basa!!

shongrish - rudo randipedza mafuta

Chirungu chakaoma!
Umwe musikana waida kunyora tsambambozha kumukomana wake nechirungu. Aida kuti "Rudo rwako rwandipedza mafuta".
Asi nekugozha kwechirungu, musikana wakanyora kuti: " Hi babie, your love finished my vaseline "

Mukomana avharirwa nemvura ari kwe bhebhi

Pane muface akaenda kumba kwebabie kudinner. Vapedza kudya, mvura yakatanga kunaya heavy zvikanzi namomz webabie chingorara pano idzo dzikabvuma.
Momz vakaenda kunogeza maplates, babie rabva ranowaridza bed, dzimuface dzikasara mudining.
Momz nebabie pavakadzoka vakaona musina munhu, vakatsvaga vakamushaya. Vakazoona munhu achipinda akatota zvekupenga, babie dobva rabvunza kuti wanga uripi zvikanzi:
"Ndanga ndamboenda kumba kunoudza mama vangu kuti handichakwanisi kuuya kuzorara kumba nenyaya yemvura"

masasi ekupenga - kuramba musikana asina mhosva

Mufesi anga achida kuramba beb rake risina mhosva, akuti
"Ukuona manje kuti hàuna kana respect, ndikutaura néwe iwe utori busy kufema"

kumhoresana nemudiwa - my boo

Musikana: I'm in love with you boo!!
Mukomana: I love you more my fushu
Musikana: kkkk chii ichocho?
Mukomana: I thought tirikumhoresana ne type dzemisuri

siyana nemusikan wangu

Bradley: shaa siya nezvekunetsa babie rangu Tariro 
Prosper: iye ndiye ari kutondinetsa 
Bradley: akunetsa kuti chii?
Prosper: ari kuramba kupfimbwa neni

Kudanana nemusikana ari kure

Kudanana nemukomana kana musikana ari joza Iwe uri zim zvakafanana nekudya sadza nemumvuri wehuku

Musikana dofo - geography

Hanzi musikana anga achinyepera mukomana kuti akadzidza iye asina. So vakazoenda kuhotel . Mukomana akabvunza musikana kuti "iri cei geography?" Musikana akati" iri right asi ndajaira kuidya ine nyama."

summer time kana kuti winter time?

Boy; Unofarira nguva ipi.summer time
kana winter time Sweety.
Girl; Swty....handifarire dzose dzawataura idzo.
Boy; then which time?
Girl; ndinofarira airtime honey

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