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Fata achibatsira gungano rake

Umwe mwana kumusha akagara pasi muchechi asina bhurukwa fata vaka zviona vakati: "mwana, kana chechi yapera undione."

Mwana akaenda kunovaona zvikanzi nafata "Tora $10 utenge mabhurukwa wanzwa!"

Mwana akafara, amai vacho vakazviona then next weekend vakaendawo vasina bhurukwa ndo kunogara pa front row vaka shadabura. Zvikanzi na fata "amai mundione , kana chechi yapera".

Amai vakaona fata ndokubva fata ati, "Amai oyi 2rand mutenge razor"

tonde na nhamo

Tonde aigara panext naNhamo muclass. Tonde aikopa Nhamo kusvikira pakukopa nezita chairo. Nhamo akazoudza Tonde kuti asakopa zita instead aise zita rake panenge pakanzi Nhamo . 
Muraiidzi akazoshamiswa netsumo dzaiti :
  1. Rugare tange tonde.
  2. Kuseka tonde kunge rugare.
  3. Tonde itonde zvayo amai havaroodzwe.
  4. Tonde yeumwe hairambirwi sadza.

Ndichapa sekuru mukaka wako

Mdhara Serebhu ari mubhazi achibva kubasa akuenda kumba kwake kuWaterfalls akagara paside pemukadzi arikuyamwisa mwana wake apa mwana arikuramba kuyamwa. Mai vaye vanotyisidzira mwana wavo vachiti, ''ukaramba kuyamwa ndichapa hangu sekuru ava mukaka wako'', Bhazi ratifambe fambe vava paroundabout mwana uye achingoramba kuyamwa mai vaye vanopamha zvakare kuti, ''yamwa iwe ndisati ndapa sekuru awa'' , ipapo Mdhara Serebhu anotarisa kuna mai vaye obva ati , ''ambuya rongai zvinhu zvenyu ka1 kana muchindipa ingondipai izvozvi zamhu racho ndiyamwe, hangu mabvira kudhara muchingoti muchandipa zvino ndakangogara muno apa ndanga ndichifanira kuburukira paZindoga'

Amai dofo vaenda kuchipatara nemwana

Nurse: Amai mwana wenyu anonzwei? 
Amai: Shona nechiChangani.
Nurse: Ndobvira kuti ari kubatiswa nei? 
Amai: Nechichira chamunoona chandakamubereka nacho ichi.
Nurse: Ndoreva kuti anosimbiswa nei? 
Amai : Kuda ibota rakavira randave kumupa mazuva ano. 
Nurse: Ano sweater here?
Amai: Anosiweta zvose nekusidhota kana amwa maheu akavirisa.
Nurse: Oyi mapiritsi aya momupa  maviri pazuva. 
Amai: Ko pamumvuri ndomupa mangani?

Mai vanoda rubatsiro

Ndevapi Amai vanoda rubatsiro aps:

  1. Vanotamba paroad show
  2. Vanoyamwisa mwana vakamira
  3. Vanorasira masadza mugarden
  4. Vanotsvaira yard vachiimba kuma 4am
  5. Vanonanika magumbeze aitirwa weti nemwana vasina kuawacha
  6. Vanobvisa mwana madzihwa nehembe yaakapfeka
  7. Vanonwa mvura nechigubhu chinogara nemvura mufridge
  8. Vanopukuta patable nechikorobho
  9. Vanorega macalender emakore akapfuura akaturikwa kumadziro
  10. Vanoswera vakasunga pulling socks mumusoro
  11. Vanoenda kunotenga chingwa vakapfeka night dress
  12. Vanoenda nemwana wavo kunonamatirwa naPastor wavanogara vachinyeya kuti haana mweya.
  13. Vanorara vasati varatidza muenzi paacharara
  14. Vanoenda kunopopotera murume kubasa
  15. Vanoshandisa matooth pick vachidzosera mugaba mune mamwe
  16. Vanoenda kunhamo kumusha vodzoka munhu asati avigwa
  17. Vanokumbira mvura yekubika cerevita yavo panhamo
  18. Vanogezera mazino mukitchen sink

Chokutadzisai kuitawo zvinoitwa nevamwe varume

Amai T vachiyemera daddy:

Amai T: "Baba Tee mukuziva here kuti Baba Hazy vakatengera mai Hazy mota for Christmas?"
Baba T: "Nanga pane nyaya yako"
Amai T"Nyaya yei kungotaurawo zvinoitarwa vamwe nevarume vawo"
Baba T: "Saka ukuda nditeedzere zvinoitwa nababa Hazy here?"
Amai T"Aaaagh ko imi chokutadzisai kuitawo zvinoitwa nevamwe varume chii?"
Baba T: "Ibhoo ndichatanga ndamitisa munin'ina wako, ndorara nemukadzi wehanzvadzi yako, then ndozotenga mota yesorry..."

Ko makamuka rinhi?

  • Helo, helo ndiani?
  • Imi ndimi ani mondibvunza kuti ndiani pafoni yangu?
  • Ndaona number dzako mufon yemurume vangu?
  • Yakanzi ani
  • Abby...
  • Saka mamuchibvunzirei maona zita?
  • Ndokumbirawo usiyane nemurume vangu..
  • Hoo makamuka rinhii?
  • Kubva kupi?
  • Kumakuva,murume venyu akati makafa? Aitondinyengawo ndikamuramba ndichiti handidanane nevanhu vakafirwa manje zvamuri vapenyu ndakutomuda 

Amai ndiigireiwo mvura

Son: Amai ndiigireiwo mvura
Mother: Iwe simuka apo undotora wega ndinokurova
Son: Pamunouya kuzondirova ibvai mauya nemvura

Musachapa vana nyama yehuku

Mai vaigara vachibikira vana vavo huku everyday. Zvikanzi nemwanasikana: ndakuda kuudza mama vasatibikire huku.
Mukomana: ko nei?
Musikana: ndakubuda mambava ehuku kuchinhu changu.
Mukomana: aaaah ndaiti ndini ndega hona oooh( kachideredza bhurugwa)
Musikana: ehe nhai manje wewe watova nechimutsipa chehuku.
Mukomana: mutsipa wega here bata uchidzika uone kwatova nemazai 2.
Musikana :ehe sure nhai manjemanje unenge wakutokandira

mavaiteiko baba vafenda?

Mai vakaenda nemurume wavo kuchipatara 
Doc: Mai murume wenyu aita heart attack. Muwanano zvoda kunzwisisana. Asi mamuitira chimwe chikomba here?
Mai: Aiwa Doc, ndafumovaudza kuti chihuta chaenda.

Idyai spinach

Amai nevana are eating sadza nespinach and gotwe is refusing to eat.  Amai says , 
"Idya spinach iyi mwanangu  unokura wakanaka kumeso'                  
Gotwe asks ,''Asi pamakakura kwanga kusina spinach kani?"

Wasu - fodya mubhazi

Wasu vakabatidza fodya yavo mubhazi ndobva zvanzi nevamwe mai, "Argh imi mukwasha madii kuburitsa musoro nepahwindomatikwadza nehutsi," zvikanzi naWasu, "Aiwa, tibvirei apo, imwi mwabve kwese iyo mweisura pane amboti budisai matako enyu ngepa windo ere?"

Masasi ema hwindi - Ndipei ndibate katsoko

Vamwe amai vakapinda mubhazi vakabata mwana wavo m umawoko. Hwindi akaramba akaatarisa mwana wavo ndokubva ati kwavari, "Amai, kutaura chokwadi handisati ndamboona mwana akashata kunge wenyu".

Amai vaye vakangomutarisa ndokuenda kuback seat ndokusvikogara paside pemumwe murume vachibva vati kwaari,"munoziva mahwindi anodenha zvenyu,uyo aripadoor angondiwanzira ndisina kumbotaura naye mufunge".murume uya ndokuti,"vanoda kutukwa,endai munomuudza magaramoyo ndosara ndakakubatirai tsoko yenyu".

Takasangana kupi?

Son: Nhai daddy makaberekerwa kupi?
Dad: kuChinhoyi.
Son: ko mhamha vakaberekerwa kupi?
Dad: kuGoromonzi.
Son: ko ini ndakaberekerwa kupi?
Dad: kuChitungwiza.
Son: Aaaaaah saka takasangana kupi?

Masasi ekupenga: ndoenda kwa mai vangu

Unotonzwa mukadzi achiti handinyengereri ndinoenda kwaAmai vangu, ko ukasvika Amai vako vaenda kwaAmai vavo unoita sei?

Masasi ekupenga: ko ukawana vaendawo?

Unotonzwa mukadzi achiti handinyengereri ndinoenda kwaAmai vangu, ko ukasvika Amai vako vaenda kwaAmai vavo unoita sei?

munamato wemwana anokara

Munamato wemwana anokara: 
Mwari komborerai mai vangu vabike zvinonaka muvabvise mweya wakaipa wekundipakurira 1piece necup yemuto tumirai ngirozi yenyu yetsitsi nemakaro vandiramwire poto yese yehuku ishe dzingai vavengi vangu vanouya panguva dzekudya Amen.

Ndiyai mudiki kumba kwenyu

Teacher: Tonderai kumba kwenyu ndiani mudiki?
Tonderai: Ndi daddy
Teacher:  Seyi wati ndi daddy?
Tonderai: Nekuti ndovachiri kurara namhamha

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