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recycling, zim style

Kuti Zimbabwe ndiko kut nhamozve:
  1. Matayi emotokari anenge araswa kuSouth Africa achinzi apera, maZimba anoatora omatumira kumusha, ondoiswa pamotokari dzofamba 3-4 yez nawo.
  2. Obviswa pamota oitwa pangoro, ofamba 4-5 yez.
  3. Obviswa pangoro oitwa manyatera odhonza 5 yez.
  4. Kana nyatera riye ranzi rapera, rochitorwa rondoburiswa nyuchi.

chinoz vaita accident

JUDGE: Ko chinoz tanzwa kuti watsika vanhu 5 muroad ,chii chaitika
CHINOZ: Zvaitika ndezvizvi vakuru, mota yangu yaputika vhiri ndichi driver mukamwe karoad
JUDGE: e-e?
CHINOZ: Saka kuleft kweroad kwakune vanhu 4 ku right kune 1 ,ndikati rega ndiende kuright zviri nani ndiuraye 1
JUDGE: Zvamamafunga wani.. ko chii chazoiitika kuti muuraye 5?
CHINOZ: Chazoitika ndechekuti 1 uya anga ari kuright azotizira kuleft kune 4 vaya ,saka pandati nditevere 1 uya bva ndabatanidzira nevamwe 4 vaya

Zvivindi kuchi naya

Zvakwakanga kuri kunaya mvura zhinji Jo aimhanya achienda kumba. Akaona mota mberi kwake achibva aimhanyira. Akasvikovhura ndokugara kumberi. Maiva musina driver asi iye akangomirira ava mukati.
Asati afunga zvakawanda mota yakatanga kufamba. Hana yake yakarova zvikuru. Kuti adzike akatya,kugaramo kwaityisazve uye kwanga kwasviba kuchinaya. Apa ma1 akanga atotanga nekuti mota yakafamba kusvika pakona yaityisa. 
Hana yakawedzera kurova paakaona steering yava kukoneswa kuteera road neruoko rwusina munhu. Zvakakunda hana yaJo achibva asvetuka nekumhanya kubhawa raiva padyo. 
Akangosvikogara mukona ari oga nemadhaka ake. Chinguvana akaona varume vaviri vachipinda vakananga paari.
Mumwe akabvunza nehasha "Mfana chivindi chako ndechei iwe kukwira mota yatiri kupusha?"

Chokutadzisai kuitawo zvinoitwa nevamwe varume

Amai T vachiyemera daddy:

Amai T: "Baba Tee mukuziva here kuti Baba Hazy vakatengera mai Hazy mota for Christmas?"
Baba T: "Nanga pane nyaya yako"
Amai T"Nyaya yei kungotaurawo zvinoitarwa vamwe nevarume vawo"
Baba T: "Saka ukuda nditeedzere zvinoitwa nababa Hazy here?"
Amai T"Aaaagh ko imi chokutadzisai kuitawo zvinoitwa nevamwe varume chii?"
Baba T: "Ibhoo ndichatanga ndamitisa munin'ina wako, ndorara nemukadzi wehanzvadzi yako, then ndozotenga mota yesorry..."

Ndofunga matorisvina

Nhamo akati achiyamwa mazamu ehure rake ndokunzwa ave kutomedza mukaka ndobva abvunza:
"Ko nhai  babie asi unoyamwisa mwana mucheche kani? "
Hure ndokupindura, "aiwa  daddy  ndine zimota pazamu iroro saka ndofunga matorisvina." 

Chii chinokonzeresa izvi?

  1. Kungopinda mubhazi wakuda kutenga nepawindow iwe wanga wakamira panze bhazi risati rauya.
  2. Kungokwira rori wakudeedzera nekutukirira vari panze.
  3. Kungotanga kugeza kwakutotanga kuimba apa hauna voice racho futi,nxa!.
  4. Kungorara pabed wototanga kubrowser phone pafacebook nepawhatsapp.
  5. Kungopinda mundege wakuda kutaura chirungu.
  6. Kungopihwa tea wakuda nechingwa.
  7. Kungopinda mukombi wakuda coin
  8. Kungomhoreswa nemukomana wakutofunga uri kuda kunyengwa
  9. Kungoona ari kunwa scud yake wava kutobvunza kuti riri sei nhasi?
  10. kungoona munhu anezuda nendebvu makutoti mupostori!.
  11. 11 . Kungoona Rasta wavakutofunga kuti anosvuta mbanj
  12. 12 Kungoona mukadzi mubhawa wakutoti ihure 

Zviroto - unomuka wakatota chete!

Ukarota urimundege, haumbomuke urimundege.
Ukarota uriurimumota, haumbomuki urimumota.
Ukarota uchidzingirirwa, haumbomuki wakuneimwe nzvimbo.
Asi the only dream comes true kurota uchiita weti! Unomuka wakatota chete

Munhu haana chakanaka!

Maitiro evanhu vanegodo 

  1. Nice car - achaita accident pluz inodya fuel mota yacho 
  2. Rich family - vane chikwambo 
  3. Loving husband - akadyiswa
  4. Gain weight - ma ARV arikumubvuma wena 
  5. Loose weight - arikurwara chakamubata 
  6. Good marriage - havambopedza gore varivese
  7. Promotion at work - anodanana na Manager
  8. Look good - akwereta hembe
  9. Mukadzi akageza - anoda varume inzenza
  10. Build a nice house - achafa akaisiya
  11. Start a new project - hazvina kwazvinosvika.

Saka munhu woita zvipi?

Pane mwana atsikwa nemota akafa

Ndarwadziwa nhasi pane kamwana katsikwa nemota kakafa. Muridzi wemota kwaakuburuka ndokukasimudza akabata gumbo kwaakukarasa mumahuswa paside peroad masikati machena. Lucky kanga kari kamwana kembwa. Bt mwana mwana

musiyano wekupenga nekupusa

Vamwe boss vai mhanyira ku meetting mota, yavo ndokubva ya ponja. Pavakati vaise spare wheel, vabvisa raka ponja riye, mabhaudhi akabva awira muDrain. 

Boss vakabva vagara pasi vakabata shaya vapererwa nemazano kuti zvino voitasei

Pakarepo pakasvika benzi raifamba richinhonga muma bin rakapfeka marengenya akasviba ndokuti kuna Boss vaye :

Benzi: makadii henyu
Boss : mushe ibva pano!
Benzi: ko ndikubatsirei
kusunga vhirika?
Boss: hazviite coz mabhaudhi hapasisina awira mu drain.
Benzi: pamavhiri enyu matatu asara madii kubvisa bhaudhi 1 apa 1 apa 1 mosunga vhiri muone kusvika kwemuri kuenda

Boss vakashamisika ne idea yakadaro ndokuti:
Boss: zvaunenge unopenga wani ko izvi wazvifunga sei.
Benzi: Kupenga neKupusa zvakasiyana vakuru vangu! Ndinopenga but handina kupusa semi

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