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Mapurisa otandaniswa ne mapositori

Wotoona mapositori achitandanis mapurisa, wotoshaya kuti zviri kumbofamba sei

panouya vanhu kuzo bata maoko

Vamwe baba vakati vava kufa, vakati regai ndiraire mwana zvokuita parufu pachauya vanhu vachibata maoko.

Panouya mapostori, uvige sugar, 
Pachauya veAnglican uvige doro , 
Pachauya veMethodist uvige  nyama , 
Panouya maPentecost uvige mari, 
Panouya veEndtime (Gumbura) uvige amai vako.

chinoz vakapfeka jersey re brazil

Chinos akapfeka jersey rake re Brazil achienda mutown ndokusangana nemapurisa. 
Zvikanzi nemapurisa, "Nekurohwa kwamakaita ne Germany muchiri makangopfeka jersey reBrazil!"
Zvikanzi na Chinos, "Zvichashamisira here? Inga imi wani makangorohwa wani nemapositori asi nanhasi makapfeka uniform yechipurisa!!"

Zimbabwe 2014 Awards

End of year awards
  1. Disease of the year - Ebola
  2. Sabhuku of the year - Vharazipi
  3. Drink of the year - twizza
  4. Social network of the year - Whatsapp
  5. Prophet of the year - W Magaya
  6. Comedian of the year - Mdara Chinoz
  7. The Church with more graduates in karate - kumasowe kuye kwekurohwa police
  8. Harlot of the year - Bev
  9. The most powerful party - Zanu PF
  10. (9) Doctor of the year - Doctor Amai Grace Mugabe

nani kuita mupositori

Ukadzidza ne simba unoenda ku UZ mononyimwa chikafu momhanyisana ne police.
Ukaba, unoenda kujeri mononyimwa chikafu momhanyisana ne police. 
Saka ndodini manje, ndava confused... ndagaya ndakuita mupostori , ndomhanyisa police ne tsvimbo!!

Mapurisa haakushayiri mhosva

Mapurisa haakushairi mhosva kana vachida cash.
Vamwe madzibaba vaive neka family car vakamiswa paroadblock  vakanzi seyi uchifamba wega ko ukafa vamwe vanozoziva seyi toda $40,00. 
Madzibaba vaya ndokuti handifambi ndoga ndina Maikoro, Ishemairi, Damureta, Mikairi, Joshua, Gabrieri, Andiria Ginatsio naCrab vatumwa vaMwari. Mupurisa uya ndokuti aaaaa vanhu 9 mukamota kakadai!! Overload ka iyi wedzera taakutoda $90,00.

Dhimoni ra Civil Servant

Vedare ndibatsireiwo, kave kepiri zvichiitika pa kirawa rangu ndichishandira vanhu. Rakamuka dhumoni ndiye kikiri-kikiri aah batai batai maziso tuzu sea EYE WITNESS.
Muporofita: Unodei pamunhu waMwari??
Dhimoni:  Ziii.
Muporofita: Ndati ndiwe ani???
Dhimoni: Ndini.
MuporofitaAni???
Dhimoni: Mu civil servant.
Muporofita: Uri kudei ???
Dhimoni: Ndoda bonus rangu.
Muporofita: Kuna ani, iwe nyatsotaura uri  kurida kunaani chaizvo???
Dhimoni: Aaah kana pasina ndave kuenda asi 2017 mukazviita ndodzoka zvakare.
Muporofita: Nezita raJesu enda kune akakunyima bonus.

Masasi ekupenga - kusadya nguruve

Wotonzwa vamwe vachiti heee hatidyi nguruve nekuti ndoo makaiswa ma dhimoni a Rigiyoni. But munovaona vachinwa mvura. Koo nguruve dzacho dzakadonhera payi?...muscud here?

Zimbabwe Premier Violence League

Zimbabwe Premier Violence League current standings:

Team                  W        D       L       Pts
Mapostori            1          0       0        3
Dembare Fans     1          0       0        3
ZRP                    1          0       2        3
War Vets              0          0       1        0


Mubhaibheri hamuna Zim Dancehall!

Madzibaba anopinda mukombi vati fambei mutyairi anotanga kuridza Zim dancehall. 
Madzibaba ndokuti "Munhu wamwari bvisa izvo mubhaibheri chaimo hatina kumbonzwa kuti vanhu vaiteerera zvakadaro.!          
Mutyairi anomisa mota ovhurira madzibaba door oti: "dzikai zvenyu pano mdara"
Madzibaba anobvunza " Ko zvaitaseizve nhai munhu wamwari?"
Zvikanzi nemutyairi: "Isuwo hatina kumbopaona mubible pakanzi vanhu vaifamba nemataxi.Chimirirai ngamera nembongoro zvaitakura vanhu nguva iyi.

Ice cream dzine pork!

Mupositori akaomera! 
Madzimai Mas: "Nditengereiwo ka ice cream madzibaba."
Madzibaba: "Dzine pork idzi"

Zimbabwe Violence League 2016

Saka log yedu yekupondana yamira so:

  1. MaPostori......... P2....W2....D0...L0.. Pts6
  2. Cross Boarders P1... W1... D0.. L0...Pts3
  3. DeMbare fans.. P1..  W1..  D0.. L0...Pts3
  4. Zimra..............  P1... W0... D0.. L1...Pts0
  5. ZRP................  P3... W0....D0.. L3...Pts0
ZRP mightbe relegated this season

Kunamata kwaoma, mafundisi nama prophet ari kungo para mhosva

Yah kunamata muno munyika kwakuite kwechioma diko.  Ndakatanga ndiri kwamadzibaba Nzira ndokubva asungwa nge rape case. Kwakuti regai ndiende kwaGumbura wanike isame issue. Pandakati rekai hangu ndidzokere kuchipostori bvandaenda kwamadzibaba Ishimairi, iye kwakutifurira kuti tirove mapurisa tichiobve tasungwa . Kwakoenda hangu kwapastor Evan achibva atiza America. Bvandaenda hangu kwaMadungwe wanike akutotizire hake kudenga kwakubudira kwamai Chisamba. Ndechoenda hangu kwaMagaya. Imwi we. Achipedza kundinamatira police ichiosvike nendaa yekuti wakaite rape. Ngenyi anhu arikudai. But why

Vanhu vanoda chirungu kudarika chivanhu

  • Ndopaunoona munhu achiramba mvura yemuteuro achida anointed water 
  • Kutoramba kubatsirwa nemuporofita asi achida prophet
  • Hanzi handipfeki shinda dzomunamato asi ndopfeka wrist band
  • Kuti handinamate mufananidzo asi aine chidhori chine mufananidzo waprophet 
  • Kuramba kuyereserwa cooking oil kumasowe achida kunamatirwa anointing oil
  • Munhu kuramba kunzi Mupostori Asi uchizviti Apostle Chakadaro.

Zvasiyanei idzo pentecostal nemapositori?

Masasi ema prophesy: gomba

Dear  ana Madzibaba, ana Papa, nema porofita ose,
Stop saying "ndirikuona gomba pamberi pako". It's not prophecy! Munhu wese anoziva kuti Zimbabwe izere nama potholes

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